My boy and my girl :)

Believe it or not, Khairaldin's been in school for 6 weeks now! He's having his half term holiday next week, yeah in the UK they get 1 week off every 6 weeks. Too many holidays but guess they really need it. Alhamdulillah he's been amazing ever since he started school. He couldn't even hold a pencil properly before this but now, he's already tracing the dots amazingly! I was so amazed when I sat down with him to do his homework (they have 2 pieces of homework every Friday and apparently it's not enough). He can even draw straight lines! Every Thursday they have a show and tell, something like presentation. I'm glad they start early because I am not one to do presentations! I hate presentations. I guess it's because we weren't exposed to it from a young age. Khairaldin doesn't mind the crowd. So tomorrow he has to bring something to talk about Hajj. I LOVE HIS SCHOOL! Although, I am struggling on what to bring. (Mom's my saviour as I've just received a text on some ideas! Superb!) Love the fact that they teach the children about Hajj etc. Today Khairaldin came home from school and said, "Mommy, we have to tawaf the kaabah 7 times you know!!!!" :))

My utmost  respect to the teachers for having such determination to teach these kids. Masha'Allah. I was gutted for a while when he came back with all these amazing 'skills'. Only because it wasn't me who taught all of these to him. However, I have come to realise that I was part of it. I have been teaching him throughout his 3 years. Alhamdulillah Iskandar and I have managed to do a lot with him. If we didn't send him to school, he might still be the boy that he was 6 weeks ago. It is okay for other people to teach him new things in life. It is okay if he learn through his mistakes. We can't take full responsibility for everything. There's a reason why teachers are teachers and friends are friends. They are there to teach you the meaning of life and that is why it is important to choose a good education as well as good friends! :)

Above all, I am thankful that I am the first person he tells his day story to. THAT I wouldn't wanna miss it for anything at all! My boy is chatty, SubhanAllah. He can go on and on about things from morning up to his bedtime. When he tells a story, he tells it in detail. Like every single thing he did. But, he can never tell his story twice. Whenever he repeats himself, the story will be altered or lose its meaning. So, that's why I want to be there when he finishes school. I wanna know everything he did when he wasn't with me. Alhamdulillah.

Little sister is also indulging herself in books. Layina loveeeeee books! She can sit down quietly flipping books after books. This is the only mess that I am okay with. It's nice to see her look at the pictures as if she knows what she's reading. She memorises her books so well. For instance if we sing a nursery rhyme, she knows which book it relates too. How amazing are their brains?? SubhanAllah!

Nabi Isa ibn Maryam

Have you ever wondered why every time we come across Prophet Isa/Jesus' name in the Quran it will be with his 'bin/son of', which is 'bin' his Mother Maryam/Mary. When ever we come across Prophet Adam/Musa or any other prophets it will just be their name on its own.

Well, according to our local imam, here's why... Allah knew that the Christians will worship Jesus and they believe Jesus is the "son of God" therefore, there is a need to constantly correct this thinking by mentioning Jesus as Mary's son and NOT God's son. SubhanAllah! It's just amazing how accurate is the Quran!!

This statement was mentioned during our Wednesday Halaqah. Going for this sort of talks really do help me with my belief. Sometimes we just need these reminders to make our belief stronger! InshaAllah will try and share more often. May all of you benefit something from this blog rather than 'what am I up to' updates. :) Till we meet again.

Oh, while you're still here. Do you know what is 100000 divided with infinity? Hmmmmmm. Do try it out ;) Will reveal in a weeks time InshaAllah.
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Khairaldin's first education?

Assalamualaikum..

Firstly thank you to all of you who still drop by at my blog even though I update once a month. It is so nice to know that you are checking on me or us. *hugs* Anyway, I have been quite tied up lately. We'll be going back to Malaysia for a few months Insha'Allah. So, I have to start packing because it is not easy to pack for 4 people!! Hubby's never done his own packing, because I am a bit obsessive when it comes to packing. I have to make sure how the clothes are packed and what match with what. Haha To be honest, I just wanna make myself look busy even when I'm not. So excuse me! ;)

So, as per my previous entry, Insha'Allah Khairaldin will be starting school in September 2012. We are still waiting for reply on his waiting list and have been doing a lot of thinking about his first education. Just wondering, how do you parents choose what type of school to send your kids to? Is religion something you look at? Or the distance from home? Do you all even plan beforehand what type of school to send your child to? As for me, since we are living in a non-muslim country, I find it important to firstly educate my children about Islam. Alhamdulillah, at this age (2.5years old) Khairaldin understands that he has to eat with right hand, read Bismillah, and a few other basic Sunnah. Knowing that we (people around him) have taught him all of this basic yet very important sunnah, make me feel that Islamic school is a necessity for him. I want him to know and to learn a LOT more about Islam. I don't want him to be one of those to just follow blindly because one day, he would be bored of following our instructions and that's when friends become their best adviser! So, I want him to know why we do what we have to do in this life. I need him to know the important of this life.

Last Sunday I attended a Ta'leem at our local Masjid. Masha'Allah, the topic discussed was exactly the things going through my mind. Iskandar received and e-mail about the ta'leem and I said I wanted to go without knowing what it's about. When the Maulana spoke, he started mentioning about 'Ilmu' (knowledge). He emphasised the importance of knowledge and how it could help us in the Hereafter. Nowadays, we are interested on the best secular education to send our child to. For example we make sure that the discipline level are top notch, results are clean sheet without any Bs even, just to name a few. What we have forgotten is, how would all this help bring us to Jannah? It's not wrong to send our children to the best of all school, because even if you are a doctor, you can still help a patient because of Allah Taala. You can serve the society because of Allah Taala no matter what your profession is. But you have to instill in your heart that everything you do IS for HIM and noone else.

As the Maulana continued, he quoted a hadith, as follow; Rasulullah Salallahualaihiwassalam said, "When the son of Adam (human being) dies, his deeds are stopped except for three things, namely, his good deeds, his knowledge, and his pious child who prays for him". I'm gonna concentrate on knowledge and pious child. When we learn, we have to set our intention of why we are learning. Is it just for the sake of passing the test? For the sake of pleasing our parents with all the As? Or even for the sake of "going to school is the norm", not knowing what our intentions are? Intention is very important without a doubt. It can make you and break you! So we have to choose wisely.

Coming back to Khairaldin, when I was carrying him, I prayed for a baby boy. I desperately wanted this "baby boy" to lead the younger siblings to the right path if one day either of us are gone (before them). Alhamdulillah, Allah has answered my prayers and Khairaldin is now a responsibility (Amanah) from Allah to us. Because Allah has given us Khairaldin, it is only fair for us to take care of him the way HE has wanted us to do so. Sending him to an Islamic school has always been my first choice. However, because of this wait list, I have told Iskandar that if he doesn't get a chance to join this school, I want to home school him. You see, I have always always! wanted to be a nursery teacher. After having kids, I don't feel the need to be a nursery teacher. Somehow this hadith has lead me to my dreams again. As the hadith said, knowledge is one of the things that will not stop even after we die. This means, if you have learn something, teach!! The person who learns from you will pass on the knowledge and the cycle will continue. Even when you die you are still getting deeds! How amazing is that? SubhanAllah. For all the wrongdoings I have done, I really need those deeds to accumulate continuously! I have told myself, if Khairaldin doesn't get a place at Leicester Islamic Academy, this is such a blessing for me. Education doesn't have to be in a school. Even if the child goes to the best of school, the parents still need to carry on and practise the things being taught at home. This way the child will know the importance of the things he have just learnt.

Yes, I am still sane. I don't plan to teach my kids till high school or further. Haha. My plan is to take it one year at a time. There is no need for him to start school at 3 years old because everyone is doing it. I pray that I will be able to teach him as much as I could before he reach a certain age. I want him to remember us as his teacher and educator. In the end of it all, we need his/their prayers when we die. All I want is for him to become a pious child who will always remember his parents and make du'a for his parents. And like a quote I found before, "to be in your children's memories, you have to be in their lives today!". Insha'Allah, that is exactly what I am aiming to do.

THIRD PREGNANCY ALREADY??!

I can remember very clearly the day I announced my second pregnancy. I received mixed reaction from family and friends. There were those who were very excited as if they were the ones that are pregnant and there were also those who were upset for numerous reasons. Some even questioned how in the world I could think about getting pregnant when my Husband was still jobless. Of course I couldn't change people's reaction but Alhamdulillah I was still the healthy and bubbly me throughout the pregnancy. Well to be honest, we didn't plan for Layina's birth. Actually we didn't even really plan for Khairaldin's. All we know was that we wanted a child and Masha'Allah, we're now blessed and living happily with two children, Alhamdulillah. Throughout my pregnancy, Iskandar didn't have a proper job. He was on part time jobs most of the time. Alhamdulillah we managed to live with whatever income that was coming in. Also thanks to my parents for making sure we stay in their house. Alhamdulillah.

No doubt Iskandar was looking for jobs. He wasn't choosy of the job as long as it pays Halal income. He tried so many places and yet were rejected or no replies. We didn't give up, we believe that Allah WILL shower us with rizq when and how HE wants to. Iskandar kept searching high and low for a permanent job but the rezeki was just not there...yet. We didn't lose hope. We kept praying and asking for HIS help everyday and night! Come Ramadhan, we prayed extra hard for HIS help because only HE can grant us the best in life. Iskandar was so determined to look for jobs. He's on the PC every now and then looking for Islamic Banking jobs or even as a lecturer. He's applied almost everywhere, be it in Malaysia, UK or even in the Middle East. Noone replied to his application. Personally I know how much he's been hunting high and low for a Halal job. Trust me, it's not easy.

As the days go by, I finally gave birth to Layina with 

a "jobless" husband beside me. I was not afraid of the idea that my husband was still jobless. In fact, my faith grew even stronger! I know for a fact that Allah will not burden us with what we could not handle. HE has promised and repeated this in the Qur'an time and again. I felt everything will fall into place if not now, Insha'Allah in the hereafter. To know that we now have a baby girl could only mean two things, Rezeki and Barakah is on our side. In Islam, having a daughter is something special. It's mentioned in a Hadith; 

Jabir ibn 'Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden." A man from the people said, "And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?" He said, "And two." [Bukhari]

There I was thinking I don't have the luxury that everyone is talking about but what matters most is Insha'Allah I will have that luxury in the afterlife. Having said that, it doesn't mean we have given up with our life now! Of course we can't do that. Whatever we do it has to be for Dunya and Akhirah. There must be balance in our life. So, Iskandar was still with his job hunting. We were also thinking of going back to Malaysia for good if he doesn't get a job anytime soon. We were ready to hijrah to another country if he still doesn't get a job. It is good to do hijrah with the niyah for Allah Ta'ala.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a friend of my Dad e-mailed my Dad saying he wants to meet up with Iskandar as they have a job that he might be interested in. This person is a Director at MIHE (the place Iskandar was awarded his Masters in Islamic Banking, Finance and Management). Without hesitation he met up with the Director and was offered a permanent job there and then. It's nothing fancy but definitely a start for him. Who knows he might get connection from MIHE and can further his career or even do PhD there? Only Allah knows.

So, Insha'Allah, Iskandar will be starting his permanent job with MIHE this October.

This job offer has opened our eyes even more. All the places that he's applied for didn't even bother to reply to just say that they are not hiring or anything at all. However, the place that we'd never think of offering him a job suddenly contacts him and offered him the job. We have always believe that rezeki is from Allah swt even when people gave us the reason to doubt this. Who says you can't suddenly wake up and stumble upon a pot of gold? I believe that miracle do happen if Allah wills it. Nothing is impossible but of course, first we have to work and pray hard for the miracle to happen. Always believe that noone can give nor take anything away from you without Allah's will. If HE has stated that your rezeki will be there, it will be there. Sometimes HE is just testing us to see how far we would go to worship him.

Of course this is a reminder to myself too. Even though Iskandar will be in a permanent job, this doesn't mean we should stop worshipping HIM. This is the reason we should continue to worship HIM more as HE's given us something we least expected!! It just goes to show how powerful HE is and SubhanAllah there is just no reason to defy HIS power! We are really thankful to HIM and to those who's been praying for us. May Allah bless you all with goodness in this life and hereafter, Amin!!!!

If you are still reading and waiting for me to officially announce about my 3rd pregnancy, sorry to say, I'm not pregnant. At least not for another few years, Insha'Allah. I'm sure if I suddenly announce my 3rd pregnancy there will be people out there who'd say something like "3rd pregnancy already??!" Even with a "working" husband people will find excuse to just mock about another person. Sometimes we just forget rezeki comes in many shapes and form, it's not just money/wealth wise.

Like I always say, we can plan all we want but in the end of it all, Allah has the last say. :) 

Ps: wish me luck on becoming a FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE and MOTHER to a toddler and soon to be 3 months old baby. Please pray that Allah will make it easy on the 4 of us, Insha'Allah. JazakAllahu Khair!

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MEd in Islamic Studies

Just found out that the MEd I planned to do was not as beneficial as I presumed it'd be. The reason I wanted to take the MEd was because I wanted to go into teaching. My Dad just told me that this particular course was more for Imaams and Ustazah like. So since I need thorough training to become a teacher in the UK, this course is definitely not for me.

My life doesn't end here though :) I thought that was the best route as it was a combination of Islamic with it. But since it doesn't get me to the route I wanted, I guess I have to settle down with conventional Unis. Looks like I have to apply for a 1 year course which is definitely the route to becoming a teacher. The problem is now, I'm not sure what subject I wanna teach. At the moment I'm looking at enrolling for courses that concentrates on children aged 5 to 13.

The enrolment ends soon so I have to decide a.s.a.p. The courses start in September though. In the mean time, I still have loads of planning to do. :) Teaching is the only job I don't mind doing even if it means I have to get up at early hours.

So Khairaldin, you have another year to hang around with Mommy Insha'Allah. Aren't you the luckiest? :)
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I'm super excited!

All have been confirmed, so far! Insha'Allah classes will commence on 15th February! What a coincidence, that date last year was the saddest date for me. Now, it's a total opposite . I'm excited beyond words! I have imagined myself attending classes and becoming a teacher, one fine day (Insha'Allah). As for now, just practising with my baby-cum-student Khairaldin hehehe. This is what I call satisfaction *beams*. Never knew I would be given this opportunity again since I missed it before (enrolling onto a wrong course). So, classes are on Mondays and Tuesdays. I don't think I'm diligent enough to manually pump when I'm in Uni! Thank god, my schedule is rather bearable. Monday is the only full day class; 10:30am to 3:30pm, Tuesday is from 10:30am to 12:30pm. I don't think there's a real necessity to pump, no? Praying hard for no engorgement! Hehehe

Iskandar will be starting his new semester on the same week as my freshies week. If his schedule's the same as current semester then we might have to go to uni together on Tuesdays! Hehehe So fun! Like dating all over again *blush*. I'll be glad if he doesn't have any classes on Monday though because I'd want him to spend quality and bonding time with Khairaldin. It's impossible for him to get bonding sessions when I'm around. Ever since Khairaldin was born, I can actually count with one hand the number of times Iskandar change, bathe or feed Khairaldin. I don't blame him at all coz it's me who's possessive and at the same time very OCD when it comes to my baby. I will always find fault with the way Iskandar puts on Khairaldin's diaper or clothes :| Iskandar's feeling rather offended whenever Khairaldin gets too clingy with me. Like this morning, Khairaldin was sleeping in between us and when I wake up for Subuh he actually pulled himself up to look for me, when he was actually in real deep slumber. Iskandar is trying to win Khairaldin's heart and I think this will be a great opportunity. But if he's got classes, then, I guess I have to start letting go... slowly! Hehehe

Oh, surprise surprise, today when I was BFing Khairaldin, suddenly my left side was leaking too! So I tried giving him, obviously he was giving me tantrums. Iskandar said to try a different position and surprisingly he latched on and sucked straight away. It's not that my boobies are empty, it's just the position! So now I know. :)

I end this by thanking Allah for giving us another chance to start our future! Here's to a fresh and great start of the new year! Amin.
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Spontaneous

I love making spontaneous decisions. By spontaneous I mean an hour mindless chit chat which WILL end up to be a 'life-changing' decision. Sometimes, it could upset people because they wanna know my plans well in advance. No, I don't have a 5 or 10 years life plan. My plans happen so spontaneously. Follow the flow has always been my principal in life, because that's how my parents have brought me up. As far as I can say, they've not made any mistakes in their decision making. So, if I say I want something, I'll try and make it happen there and then.

I also believe that money can be found anywhere, yes, if you work for it that is hahaha. It is possible to find some money under ur sofa or in between some books, point is, you have to get off your arse and look for it! It doesn't just come out of nowhere. At least that hasn't happened to me yet. Hehehe To me, there's no point stressing out about whether there's enough money or not, because however rich you are it's just never enough. We are human being and are not easily pleased. If I were to wait till I have enough money than only start my life, that may be too late and will only end up with lots of regrets and what ifs!

So far by making spontaneous plans I have managed to have blissful marriage and an adorable baby boy, with no regrets at all. Alhamdulillah! If I was one of those who would go 'I can't get married coz tak cukup duit!' I think I'll never get married and live happily ever after. Just take the plunge and work your way through it. After all life is all about adventure! :)

So, over the weekend, I was blabbing to mom, dad, bro and sis-in-law about wanting to do a Childminder course because I'm just bored of staying home doing nothing. It's been 1 year since I've been jobless and trust me, I haven't been doing anything beneficial with myself. Yes, SAHM is the best but at the moment my baby just sleep and sleeps. Hehehe Until it's time to start teaching him, I think it's fair to give myself some break and later on full concentration on him. Anyway, as the conversation proceeded, my sis-in-law advised me that it's not easy to start a childminding business even if I'm childminder certified. It may be difficult to get them to certify our house up to a chidlminder standard. You see, our house is filled with loads of tidbits which just attract the kids even more. So it's easier to get a new house rather than child proofing our current house (which costs A LOT of money!). Then my Dad asked, "why don't you take up a Masters course instead or even PGCert, if you only want to study for a few months". Since my Dad is working for an institute which is associated with Gloucestershire Uni, he knows the ins and outs of each course. He then recommended me to do MEd in Islamic Education. I thought, hey that's a good opportunity coz it's a broader course and if I plan to work, I can teach at Primary until University level (not that I'm eyeing to be a lecturer, teacher is still ok). At least I'm not only stuck to caring for babies/toddlers. Best part is, there's an Islamic girls school just 5 minutes walk from our house.

After that conversation, I just left it as it is because I only thought about it in that split second. Also, I have to discuss with the dear hubby before deciding on anything. I think Iskandar has passed the stage where he'll say "you didn't discuss with me first before telling the family!" Because he knows I think and decide at the same time. So he has to follow my flow as well. Hehehe After discussing, we agreed that it's ok for me to continue my studies if that's what I'm keen on doing.

Tomorrow, I'm meeting up with the registrar to find out more about the course and fees. And if all is OK, I'll be starting the course on the 3rd week of Feb.

Now comes the most important bit..... It's been ages since I EBM. How am I gonna start doing it? I find expressing really stressful even if I can get 4oz in just 10mins. Although I'm not sure how much I can get now since I haven't been expressing. Another thing is, my letdown on left is literally just drips. Unlike my right, it sprays in just 5 secs. Will I be able to pump and stock up? Nowadays, Khairaldin drinks at about 10am, 4pm and 9pm. So really, if I have to stock up it will only be for the 10am and 4pm ish. My classes may be running from 10:30am to 4pm. I don't think it's an everyday lessons though. Is it still possible to get any milk out even after it's just producing 'drops'? I need to google and learn more on this before I leave him behind.

The even worse part, he's NEVER voluntarily drink from his bottle! I always had to force him and he never finish up! So, hubby and I have to find the perfect bottle for him and maybe get him to get used to bottlefeeds.

We see how it goes tomorrow. If all goes well, I'll be shopping for my stationaries and Khairaldin's bottle gadgets!! *beams*

By the way, please pray that the study goes smoothly for both me and Hubby. Insha'Allah this will bring a better future for all of us. Amin.
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