Hajj Pilgrimage: EVERYTHING went wrong!

As I am writing this, a few Hajj jemaah have left Malaysia for Mekah to perform their pilgrimage. Can't believe it's been a year since! May Allah accept your ibadah and please make full use of the time you have there, this is once in a lifetime opportunity!

Anyway, by now, you might already know that I've been to Hajj and obviously came back safely because here I am blogging about it. ;) For those of you who sacrificed your busy schedule just to sit down and talk to us personally about our Hajj trip, we appreciate it so much. It's a different level of busy-ness here in Malaysia, so to have the time to get offline and talk face-2-face, that's an honour. But for those of you who have been busy with family and other things, we truly understand! It's not that easy to just get in the car and have a chat, especially if you're married! Errkk. I mean, I REALLY TRULY understand the situation.

Anyway, like I said in my previous post all of OUR plan went haywire when we decided to move back to Malaysia. We were supposed to fly off to Mekah from the UK in September but since our plan changed, we had to think of a way to get extra money to travel from Malaysia-UK-Mekah-UK-Malaysia. In June, we booked and paid for our Hajj package via online as we were already in Malaysia. After confirming our bookings we found out that they needed our passports for the Hajj visa a few months before departure. That wasn't the downfall.....yet!

We were told by the travel agent that we will only get our passport with the Hajj visa 2 days before departure!!! Of course that didn't work for us because we were travelling from Malaysia so we need our passport way earlier to make sure we get to the UK as scheduled.

The next 4 months was a REAL test of FAITH, masha'Allah. 

Since there was no turning back, we only had one thing to do..Which really, should have been the first thing we SHOULD do. Make lots of du'a. At that point in time, other than the obligatory prayers, performing solat hajat and tahajud was our second nature. We felt lost when we didn't perform those prayers. Waking up in the middle of the night wasn't a problem because we really wanted to perform Hajj and we know noone else could help us except for Allah. We put our trust in him and tawakal that everything will turn out perfectly as how HE planned. Even if we didn't get the chance to go this time, we didn't feel bad as we turned to HIM for help. Iskandar and I didn't put pressure on each other even though we really wanted this day to come. We hardly even utter about how much we want this opportunity to fall in place. Everything was done in our prayers. We begged ALLAH to give us what HE knows will be the best for us. We even left the travel agents to work on our visa and did not bother them with e-mails asking when we are getting our passports and visas. We left it all to ALLAH.

Nonetheless, the month of September came and we got real anxious as we were scheduled to leave to the UK in the first week of October. On 24th of September, I e-mailed the travel agent to get updates on our passport. And so they replied... asking Iskandar for his UK visa since they can't find it in his passport. Confidently I told him it is in his old passport which my brother have sent it together with the other passports. They replied that the old passport with UK visa wasn't with them. So I contacted my brother and he confirmed he DID NOT send the old passport to the travel agent. Things got even worse and to blame everyone at that time was an option. But I didn't, thanks to NLP and positive thinking. I pulled myself together and think of ways to get his visa to the travel agent as soon as possible. 

Alhamdulillah, the postal service in the UK is amazingly efficient so they received the passport in time, which was 5 days before our departure to the UK. Now things are supposedly going rather smoothly but we forgot, how are we going to get our passport within 5 days??? I contacted the post office and they said that if we are posting passports they will hold it at the custom for a month just to make sure that it's legit documentation. Of course we didn't have a month to spare!! So we continued thinking of ways to get our passport to KL. A few days before our passports and visas were approved, we had so many relatives going back and forth the UK and Malaysia but as soon as we got our passport we didn't have anyone.

But, Allah was there all along guiding us. My dad received a msg from his friend saying that they're leaving for Malaysia on the 4th October. So without hesitation, we contacted him and explained our situation. Alhamdulillah we managed to set for an appointment for the travel agent and my dad's friend to meet and pass our passports through him.However, Iskandar had to delay his flight due to some complications whereas I managed to get on the flight back to UK as scheduled. I had about 3 days to spare before our flight to Mekah. As for Iskandar, he arrived the night before our flight to Mekah.... phew! SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah!

So, you would have thought that everything would go smoothly by now right? I mean, we've got our passports AND visas! What else could go wrong?

Stay tuned for the next episode........ ;)

"International Education and Islamic Parenting Conference" organised by Brainy Bunch Islamic Montessori (BBIM)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

First and foremost, Alhamdulillah shukur for the opportunity given by an old friend to attend the "International Education and Islamic Parenting Conference" organised by Brainy Bunch Islamic Montessori (BBIM). It meant a lot to the both of us because we have been thinking of sending Khairaldin to BBIM and attending the conference has shed us some lights on the nursery. So, thank you! Before I start sharing my experience about the talk, I will just inform you that I didn't stay for all 4 speakers due to "clingy kids". Alhamdulillah, we still managed to stay and listen to the Famous Mufti Menk, which helped a lot in our parenting skills. However, that will be on a different blog post. ;-)

The conference begin with Ustazah Isfadiah Dasuki's talk on "Raising our Children with The Book of Allah & The Importance of Islamic Education." In her talk she mentioned a few ways of raising our child with Al-Quran, which are, teaching them Ibadah, morals, sexual education and teaching them to socialise. (I think I missed out a few points and also added a few according to my understanding during the talk. It will be great if anyone who went for the conference share their experience as well. Jazakallahu khairan kathira.) 

How do we teach them Ibadah?

• We can start teaching them at a very young age. The best way to teach is by being the example! When we solat, put them in the same room as us. Let them see how we solat and why we solat, explain to them why we need to stop everything as soon as the Azan finishes. 
• If they disturb us during solat, leave them to it. After finishing our solat, hug and kiss them as they were there watching us doing it. Even if it means they were tugging onto our 'telekong' the whole time. Hugging and kissing them after solat makes them feel that we are enjoying the solat. If we finish our solat and scold them straight after, it will show that solat is very stressful! 
• Reward them when they do something good. When they solat on their own, reward them. When they fast, reward them! They deserve it as it is not easy for them to perform all this on their own. They need encouragements and we are the best source for them to get it from.

How to teach them morals?

• When the child reach a certain age, GUIDE them to be independent. For instance with putting their clothes on. We can't expect them to one day wake up and miraculously put their clothes on, some have the ability Alhamdulillah but most of us needs guidance. So one day we can guide them to just put one sleeve on and when they are good at that, let them put the sleeve on themselves. Then start guiding them with their pants, when THEY feel confident, let them do it on their own. We should keep guiding them throughout their life, even when they are an adult! 
• Give them choices and ALLOW them to make mistakes! If we don't allow them to make mistakes, how do we expect them to know what is right and wrong? 
• Our Prophet s.a.w taught us to have good morals by projecting good morals in himself. So, take that onboard into our own family. 

How to teach them sexual education?

• There are TWO places we can teach them sex ed. First it starts in our own house, we have to explain to them the roles of parent. Sometimes my son gets confused why is it that Mommy can sleep with Abah and yet he cannot sleep with Mommy. We have to explain to them what parents is all about.
• Immediate sexual ed is through SOLAT. How? We explain to them why is it that boys have to solat at the front and girls at the back- this is done by teaching them the aurah and how to protect the gaze. They then understand how to respect different gender.
• Teach them to ask for our permission before entering our room BEFORE fajr, zuhur and AFTER Isya'. Tell them why we need to close our bedroom door and why they need to ask for permission to get in, it is all about aurah and this will then make them feel ashamed to show their own aurah. Also let them know what they should not see inside the bedroom they should not see outside the bedroom. Its like whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom kinda thing.
•  Outside the household, manage the gaze. They should know by now what is shameful for them to see and what is not. When we see adverts of those not covering their aurah, tell them to lower their gaze and switch view for a moment until it's gone.
• Avoid chattering and gossiping. Yes yes yes we all know about this but sometimes we make an effort to get out of the house to meet up with people just to gossip. So, do our best to avoid this! If you can't restrain yourself from gossiping, then avoid the people you know that would talk bad about others. Choose your friends wisely as it teaches them to choose their friends too.      

 How to teach them to socialise?

• Socialising can be taught by letting them watch TV. We shouldn't stop them from watching TV or internet. Observe what they are watching, if they like those violent shows, watch with them and tell them why is it wrong to destroy the buildings. How real is all this destroying and killing people. Tell them and talk to them to instill a different perspective as how the TV is instilling it into them. When we STOP them from watching their favourite shows, they will find the need to watch it more and will go out of their way to watch it. So, best not to refrain them from watching TV or using the internet. Teach them to use it wisely.

Again and again, you are the best example to SHOW them how they should bring themselves up in this world. When they do anything wrong, reflect on yourself. How much gadget have you been using around them? Where are they when you are performing your solat? Have you been covering your aurah around them for them to understand that it is wrong to see other people's aurah? So, START WITH YOURSELF FIRST. Insha'Allah, the parenting will be a breeze for you. Sometimes we want to impose things onto our kids that we ourselves can't keep up with. DO OUR BEST to be the example in the household. 

I pray that Allah make it a breeze for us to care for our children according to the Quran and Sunnah. When we feel we are at lost, grab the Quran and start back from the beggining, Insha'Allah, we can't be wrong at educating our kids the right way. May Allah bless all of you for the efforts you have been putting in to care for his Amanah. Amin ya Rabbalalamin! 

Insha'Allah, I shall continue on Mufti Menk's talk in the near future. Thank you for your patience.

Hajj Pilgrimage : The Plan

‎This is one journey that I want to have in my memory.... forever! Ok, other than the birth of my children and their growing up stage and some other random stuff. But *this* right here, is an event that I will never want to forget! Inshaa'Allah.

It's best for me to start from the beginning, right? So, how did we even plan on going for Hajj? Well, we didn't really. See, every year during Ramadhan we will get flyers being sent to our house for Umrah and Hajj packages. Of course during that month you would only want to read sacred things and that is considered as one of them. As I was going through the Umrah packages for year 2011, I told Iskandar how it would be amazing to bring the kids for Umrah as we have visited Malaysia and a few other countries. It'd be nice for them to step foot in Mekah at such an early age. Iskandar, being the thinker and "financer" in the family was not too keen with my plan. So I thought how cheapo can my husband be! Yes the umrah packages aren't as cheap as going for holiday to Malaysia, it was double the price. I gave him the chance to explain his points. Then he said, "why not we do the mandatory first before taking the kids for Umrah". It didn't occur to me that he meant Hajj. He then suggested for us to save up for Hajj and try to do it as soon as possible. 

Hajj was not something I talk about everyday. Haha Duh! But you know what I mean. Hajj is looked at as an Ibadah for the elderly rather than youngsters. Of course we don't talk about it until we are about 40 years old, at least. So when my husband suggested Hajj, I had to ask "Are we even allowed to go?" because in Malaysia we'd have to wait for our name to be called before we can do Hajj with Tabung Haji. ‎Iskandar then showed me the price list for Hajj and how to go about booking it. Obviously the procedure of booking it is the same as booking any other holiday, at least in the UK. 

Without hesitating, I agreed to his plan and started planning on how much we have to save monthly in order to reach our goal. Truth be told, he wasn't earning a lot (+-£1500/month) and with one income we really had to make sure we took everything into consideration. Some way some how, after we have decided on going for hajj we were receiving funds from various source. At this time we haven't even told anyone about our plan. But money was coming in non stop. Alhamdulillah. We manged to save up at least £3000 within 4 months. The ticket per person was approximately £4000. I was so optimistic that we will be able to get the whole sum before the booking date.

Then we started telling our parents the plan to make sure there will be someone to babysit the kids. The initial plan was for my parents to come over to the UK to look after the kids since it'll be cheaper that way. However, we had to change all the plans when we found out we had to move to Malaysia for good. The plan from then on became bumpy and distorted! Everything we planned wasn't going OUR way!

To be continued.....

Content. SubhanAllah.

I have been so busy and content. SubhanAllah. Never imagined my life would turn out this way. Blessed.

I've a new hangout place now. :) www.craftsy.com. Whoever "invented" online sewing classes are genius. Giving SAHMs the chance to do more with their time. Alhamdulillah, I cant believe how blessed I am to have stumbled upon the site. It's definitely what I have been thinking about doing for the past few months. Sewing classes from £13 and no expiry dates? Simply amazing! If you're another SAHM trying something new, I advice the site for you. There's so many arts and crafts on there!

Alhamdulillah for an amazing husband who supports me not only financially but also emotionally and physically. Haha He understands when I suddenly pick a fight with him it's not that he's done something wrong but mostly because of my materials not cooperating with me ;) SubhanAllah. I would've given up with myself way before I started but he saw something I have never seen in myself! He guides me through even though he doesn't know anything about sewing!! O Allah, thank u!

Of course my parents who stocks up my materials every now and then!! Alhamdulillah. And for an amazing mom who's given me the sewing genes. Hehe 

But, I couldn't have done it if it wasn't for such amazing kids. SubhanAllah. Khairaldin and Layina understands my sewing time! Khairaldin talks about material as much as I do! Cut like this like that, pink is better than green. I don't know how I managed to have a hobby and raising 2 amazing kids along side. 

Yes, Alhamdulillah.

28th Birthday, Alhamdulillah.

I turn 28 today, Alhamdulillah!! Yeah I'm not one who would conceal their age. Haha Thankful for the hours,days and years given to me for me to constantly change to become a better person. Shukur!

Anyway, Iskandar isn't the present type of person but he came home with a bouquet yesterday and handed it in front-ish of my brothers and his family ;) Those who knows me would know that I won't go all "awwwwww!! Hugs kisses". Haha but instead I said, "it's not today it's tomorrow" and we just laughed it off. I'm ego like that but deep inside....... :))

Anyways, to a great year ahead! Amin!!

Favourite posts

Masha'Allah! I couldn't believe how known my blog is on google. As you can see I have added the 'favourite posts' widget. Never knew that people do google those topics and my posts are on the first page on google search engine. SubhanAllah. When I started this blog, I didn't think it could benefit others.Reason I started this blog was merely to jot down my memories with my kids. When they are older, Insha'Allah they have something to look back to (and also for myself).

But, who am I to know what my future will be? Alhamdulillah I am really pleased to know that my favourite posts are indeed those related to Islamic posts. Couldn't express how pleased I am. After all, it is in a hadith that we should share the knowledge we have as this deed will carry on even after we die. AllahuAkbar. This is just a post to say JazakAllahu Khairan Kathira to every single one of you who have stopped by to read my posts and thank you to all of you who have commented and e-mailed me personally. Please carry on sharing your knowledge with others too because you never know who could benefit from it. 

Alhamdulillah.

On a slightly different note, a big ALHAMDULILLAH because the kids now goes to bed at 7:30p.m and they go to sleep ON THEIR OWN. Iskandar and I will change them into their pajamas, read them their du'as and we leave them on their bed in their room. Of course we have the baby monitor on so we can know what they are up to. So far, it's been 2 weeks and they have been sleeping soundly straight after we leave their room. Iskandar and I now have 'our' time. Alhamdulillah. Since we are enjoying this time to ourselves, both of us have also reminded ourselves that we cannot get too comfortable as we are not stopping at two kids ;) It is nice to have this break but Insha'Allah I don't want it to be permanent break. I do miss the late/early morning feeds. I miss the hustle and bustle. Nevertheless, we are going to cherish what Allah has planned for us.

Alhamdulillah.   

Because I just felt like blogging.

Today marked Khairaldin's first week of school. Unfortunately, he didn't manage to attend school today because both Layina and him was down with cold and cough. I didn't want other kids to catch their illness so I thought it was good to have them both at home. My oh my! I was partly wrong. Even though it's only been a week, I have totally forgotten how to manage two kids at once. Layina being her girly possessive self (like Mommy, apparently) didn't let Abang Khalid be anywhere near me. Every time she sees me hugging Khairaldin she will come wailing for help. Sigh. Girls will be girls. Abang Khalid is such an understanding brother. He would always give in and come back when the time is right. Alhamdulillah shukur.

Sometimes I wonder how do people cope with having their kids at home up till 5/6 years old?? Ok, those without maids. How do you cope? I'm really thankful that Khairaldin starts school at this age. It is just a prefect age and it gives me time to bond with Layina. Which also brings me to the thought of having another baby because Layina is way too clingy. Iskandar thinks it is best if she has a baby brother or sister soon. Hmmmmmm. Insha'Allah. In all honesty, I do want the kids age gap to be around 2 years old because it's super after looking at how Khairaldin and Layina just click with one another. They do have their moments but I remember more of them loving each other than actually bashing each other up. :)

Anyway, Khairaldin goes to school from 12-3pm, and obviously he's at school during lunch time. At first I didn't know that they allow to bring some packed sandwiches for him. A few days later only I found out that we are allowed to bring him some food. What I'd do before packing his lunch days were to bring some food for him in the car when I fetch him. On his first day of school, he demanded "pau kaya" for his 'lunch'. Yes, my son wanted pau for lunch. So not British! School also provides them with some fruits for snacks but one day they gave him pear and he didn't like it. So instead I packed for him his favourite fruits. Alhamdulillah both my kids LOVE their fruits and veges! They can sit down and just munch munch munch until its gone. Layina can literally finish a whole bunch of grapes all to herself. But then again, that baby girl would eat anything ;) It's okay girl, it's just a girl thing with food ;)

Yes, I made the dresses myself :)

As for my self update, I have been keeping myself busy with some sewing ever since Khairaldin started school. Layina's always asleep as soon as we send Khairaldin off to school and if I'm lucky, she will be asleep for the whole 3 hours. Mahsa'Allah. So I have been really free and I just needed to kill some time. Sometimes I would also prepare dinner or even just laze around watching tv. Alhamdulillah. Life has been great. Today however, my sewing machine broke down so they're taking it for repair for the next 7 days. You might or might not see me on here often now :) Alhamdulillah I have kept myself real busy and it's just a bliss. It's true they say when you're busy, you will not think of unnecessary things and Subhan'Allah, when I think back about my past, I am just so thankful for the people who's in and out of my life. They have definitely made me who I am now. May Allah bless all of you, Amin.

Anyways, it's hubby time now. So, I'll catch up with you soon. Insha'Allah. Please make du'a for my family. JazakAllahu Khairan Kathira.

Ps: Bear with me, blog's under construction. That's a good sign though because I might be back. :)

Why I 'left' Facebook....

To be honest, I never thought there was a necessity to be writing this post but it's unreal how many people have been asking me again and again on when I'm gonna reactivate my Facebook account and why I left etc etc, I'm hoping this post will answer all your doubtful thoughts :) First and foremost, no, I didn't 'leave Facebook because I had any sort of misunderstanding with anyone, especially with family members. I hope this entry will make it clear that I left because I feel the 'need' to do so.

Basically the urge on leaving FB has been with me for so long. I realised how addicted I was to it. It was like every single thing I had to 'document' on Facebook. Every time we go for an outing, I have to bring my phone along. I have never been a phone-person, which means having to have my phone everywhere I go was never a necessity. When FB and Khairaldin came along, I've always wanted to show him to the world kinda thing. I became proud, yes I realised it, Alhamdulillah and I'm so thankful I stopped when I had to. Although, I have been using excuses about having to update because I am so faraway from family and friends. Truthfully, I became big headed whenever I get likes or positive comments on my pictures or posts.

Again, Alhamdulillah, when I went back to Malaysia, I suddenly felt the necessity to delete my Facebook account. Life was just different with Facebook. Way too different. I didn't expect people would be who they became, Facebook people. Before Facebook existed, I used to go back to Malaysia every Summer and when I do, I would always ring my relatives straight after subuh because I'd be up coz of jetlag and also it'd be a surprise to them to know that I'm back. We would straight away plan for lunch or dinner the same day and just basically catch up. But not recently. Everyone knew I was going to Malaysia because I was counting down and everyone expected me to be there as and when I said I was going to be there. Visiting relatives took its time because we felt we know everything about each other through FB. It was as if everything on FB was sufficient enough that we didn't need to find time to just be there with each other.

I didn't expect to meet up with as many friends as I used to because everyone was busy with their own life, work, family etc etc. But in fact I did. I met way too many people. I met up with close friends and also friends that I used to just say 'hi and bye'. As much as I was honoured to be 'celebrated', I also felt as if I was just their "Facebook update". It seems as though I was only there for picture time and it then went straight to FB. Suffice to say, it felt awkward. We hardly make conversations but when the camera is out, we are all hugging and smiling from ear to ear. So yes, the urge of leaving Facebook was rather strong. One day I woke up and I thought, is this really the life I want to live?

I'm not gonna deny that I miss FB. Sometimes I do, as I'd have something to read about but how far will that go? Reading and getting updates about others life is fun but it's also a different case sometimes. We take FB status like as though the person is talking to us, but how are we so sure it's the truth? How can we be sure that updates were straight from their thoughts and we're no edited to make it sound nice? And also, we as the "updater", how are we sure that our updates were not used for further interpretation, even though we don't mean it the way others would interpret it? Sometimes even our innocent thoughts could be brought as a debate. Sometimes we might update something about ourself but people think it's about their life, and again it becomes a different story. How many updates you put on would get a personal message from others. Good for you if you do, at least you know people cared. Last but not least,  try and observe this, when you do go on an outing, how many times does the word FB being uttered? Well, basically I've had enough of that life. :) I want people to personally ask me how I was doing not because I've given a big hint on my FB status. And also, I wanna be more in people's life than on their Facebook Page. :) Alhamdulillah, I'm living the life now. Outing without the camera/phone seem to be a breeze.

Now I've come to realise that out of my hundreds of family and friends on FB, I  can now be sure that only a few people really care about my family and I. Those who cared would take the extra length on finding out ways to still keep in touch. To those of you, thank you! We doubted life after FB but hey look at us now,we seem to know more about each other than we had ever before. From the bottom of my heart, you know who you are, thank you for being part of my life and for understanding my need to just stay off FB. ;)

Btw, I'm not gonna deny that I still check FB (through Iskandar's profile) but the only difference is, his FB Page is much beneficial than mine. He's only got approx 40 odd friends, and I'm sure those are true friends and I check only because of Mufti Menk's wise words and today he said : "Nowadays more homes are unhappy due to spouses or family members trying to keep online friends happy at the expense of those around them." This is so true SubhanAllah! Before I get deleted from my husband/children's life, I took the big step of deleting my Fakebook. :) The book that is worth making an impression of is the book the angels are writing about me, definitely not the book my family/friends are writing on- Facebook.

In the end of the day, everyone has their own story about Facebook but this is mine and I'm staying away for as long as I can. Sorry but I'm not reactivating my personal page, inshaAllah.

Reason why I disabled my Facebook account.

...............To be continued ;)

12 hours plane journey with 1 infant and 1 toddler!!

Phewwwww!

 

That was a mouthful and tiring subject on its own yeah? Yes! That's exactly how I embarked my journey back from Malaysia exactly 3 weeks ago. As most of you might already know, the 4 of us went back to Malaysia in late March. The kids and I stayed on till May for my brother's wedding. Unfortunately, Iskandar couldn't stay on because he was on work probation and could only get 3 weeks time off. A lot happened when he went back to the UK and left the kids with me, but that will be a different blog update altogether :)

So, everyone asked me the same question every time they hear I was going back with both kids all by myself, "how will you manage with 2 kids on the plane??", "what if 1 of them starts to throw tantrum suddenly? Will u cope??". Everyone had their concern and was doubtful about my journey back home to the UK. To be honest, I couldn't give any rational answers when I was bombarded with these questions. All I could answer was, "InshaAllah, with Allah's will, I will be able to handle them on my own."

When we booked our tickets, the plan wasn't for me to bring both kids on my own. The initial plan was for Khairaldin to travel with my brother via Emirates and for me to travel with Layina via MAS on the same day. Somehow, the plan changed because Emirates didn't have any spare seat for Khairaldin. Since I've already booked for Layina and my flight via MAS, I had no other choice but to book for Khairaldin's flight with us. In all honesty, I wasn't prepared for this ordeal at all. But with so much faith in Allah, I took this opportunity as a Mother. Everyone who knew about my travel arrangements started to label me as a "SUPER MOM". All I have to say is, I'm no where near that title.

So, here's how our travelling went. I have to say, Alhamdulillah shukur for such a superb and easy travelling provided by MAS. Staffs were helpful and everything was just bearable from the check-in counter onwards. We + my parents arrived the airport at 8am and dropped our luggage at the check in counter. We requested for a travel assistance since I had 2 kids with me. At first they didn't have anyone to assist us but they had that initiative to get someone nonetheless. I had to wait for someone to assist us at 9am. So, we just continued waiting at the departure lounge. By 9, one of the staff came to help us out. Well, the reason I needed help was only to have someone to pull my hand luggage. Khairaldin was in the pushchair and Layina was in the baby carrier. It wasn't a problem in that sense.

Good thing about having assistance is that they assist you right into the aircraft and everything is priority; priority lane for passport checks, priority for boarding pass checks and of course the first one to get onto the plane! It was amazing! No hassle at all Masha'Allah. I was so glad. I would have given the young boy some tips, but by the time I settled down in my seat he has already pass his duties to the steward(ess). Didn't get a chance to say proper thank you. Guess he was scared if the plane took off hehehe. He'll be in my du'a, inshaAllah.

Oh yeah, I didn't request for a bassinet seat because when travelling with Khairaldin before, he didn't like sleeping in the bassinet. So I thought, it's ok, give others the opportunity. But I really wanted at least the whole row to myself. Before we took off, I asked the steward if there was any vacant rows. Unfortunately there wasn't any. Flight wasn't that full, there were spare seats but not rows. However, a guy sitting at the bassinet seatings offered to give his seat to us. I accepted his offer and swapped seats with him. It's very nice of him! After swapping seats we waited patiently to take off. Just before take off Layina cried for milk. I thought, that's good at least she'll get her nap straight away. Seeing that our flight was at 10:05am, it's the time she normally have her naps. So I breastfed her and by the time we took off she was already sound asleep. The stewardess then assembled the bassinet for her and I put her in it straight away. Little did I know, Layina is so different from her brother! She loved the bassinet and what I thought was going to be a short nap actually lasted for 4-5 hours straight!!! How good was that?

Khairaldin on the other hand, wasn't as easy as Layina. He suddenly had tummy ache and was restless. After putting Layina in the bassinet, I had a steward to look after her for awhile whilst I brought Khairaldin to the toilet. He had diarrhoea! Sigh. I did put diapers on him before we left for the airport, but being toilet trained, he couldn't 'do it' in the diapers. But Alhamdulillah, we only went for 2 toilet trips in 15minutes gap. After those 2 trips, he felt much better and fell asleep straight away! I was so glad. Since both of them were sleeping, I didn't waste anymore time and straight away 'joined' them to sleep. Alhamdulillah I managed to sleep for 2hrs straight. It was good!

By the time they woke up, we were already half way through our journey. We went for a few rounds around the aircraft, read a few books, played a few games and just made a mess on the floor! Thankfully Layina was already walking, saved me from having to carry here everywhere in the aircraft. We managed to catch some short naps. Layina wasn't awake that much. It was only for awhile that she was awake. Khairaldin was lucky as he got to just spend time with me :) Two hours before landing was a bit tough. Khairaldin kept asking what time we were gonna arrive and kept bugging about wanting to eat bread with chocolate spread from Nana's house! So I had to reason out with him until he really gets the idea that we are far away and there is no way he's getting his bread and choc spread in the plane. Hehehe

All in all, it was an interesting experience as it wasn't as how I expected it to be at all! I was prepared for the worse and Alhamdulillah, that was nowhere near my expectations. I am sure this breeze journey was from the numerous thoughts and du'as people sent to me! Alhamdulillah shukur! I believe that if we have a plan, we should tell your loved one about it so that they constantly du'a and remember you. JazakAllahu Khair, everbody!

 

Any tips or tricks? No really. I guess it was a rather "easy" journey on my side because I am with my children almost 24-7 therefore I know when they are restless or about to throw tantrums. If I was a working Mom, I don't think I would be able to take up this adventure. Basically, you really need to know your child when you're about to travel. Get them as comfortable as possible, InshaAllah everything will be great! :)) Personally to me, SUPER MOM are those working Mom's who would be brave enough to take such adventure seeing that they're rarely with their child during day time. But either way, mother instincts are the best!! :))

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I have a problem. I need to talk.

Isn't it true that we've been brought up in a society to always "share your feelings"? Heck, even on FB it asks "what's on your mind?" and when you're done, you'll be clicking the "share" button. Right? So yeah. Whenever we have something on our mind we don't hesitate to share with others. After all, that's how we've been brought up. People will always advice you to talk to someone if you have a problem, you'd feel better after that. No doubt in that.

Sometimes, when I'm at my lowest point, I'd constantly go thru my Facebook friend list or BBM list to look for a non-judgemental person and a trustworthy one. I would go back and forth until a point I just don't know what I'm doing. One day, it got me thinking.. such person does not exist. Never! Even if they do, at least not on my friends list. haha It's veryyyyyyyyy rare to find that one person who could tell you the truth without hurting you even more. Of course at this point you're asking, why not just talk to your husband? Oh yes, I do talk to my Hubby. But in his eyes, I am almost perfect. How can I not be when I've got tears and sadness in my eyes? Would he dare to turn around and say, "it's your fault!" Hahaha He knows what will definitely happen next. So at times it's difficult to trust him as he wants the best for me. After I've calmed down he will then reason out with me rationally. I don't do rational thinking at my lowest point :)

I'm thankful for the people that has brought me down to my lowest point. It has only opened my eyes and heart about the life I have been leading. Like I said, we are told to share our problems. But what people forget to say is "don't share it with human beings!". Just imagine, when you are carrying a bag full of items and you need to stop because you're tired but at the same time you want to continue your journey. What would you do? You'd find a person to help you carry the load whilst you take a breather. So, what if this person you pass your load onto is a weak person? Of course they could not carry the load for long. They then pass it on to another person and it carries on.

It's same with problems. You tell a person about it and EXPECT that person not to tell anyone. But this person might not have that strong willpower to keep it to him/herself. It then spills to another and carries on. This is how gossips and backbiting happens. You don't mean to do it but you have your own problem to deal with on top of another being load on you. So the cycle begins. One story passed to another and another. At this point, think, would that story remain as how it is? Of course not! Everyone have their own imaginations. People tend to reconstruct what is being said or told to them according to their own experience. Story becomes distorted, people become upset. We are all human beings. We make mistakes but the best are those who repent and not make the same mistake again.

What do you do then when you have problems and really in need of someone to talk to? This is obvious but definitely the last choice we would take. TALK TO ALLAH/God. HE will definitely not judge you! HE even have the solution to your problems. So why speak to others? Why spill every single thing to others? Here's another thing, talking to ALLAH is FREE! You don't need to pick up the phone to let off your steam. HE is there with you all the time. When you speak to HIM, the conversation is safe with him. It can never be spilled. So, choose HIM first before others.

For Khairaldin and Layina, my advise to you is to choose Allah first before confiding onto anyone about your sorrows. If you want to confide in Mommy/Abah, please do so. But you have to know, your story will not be safe with us. You are our children, and if you are hurt, we will all be. Please, talk to Allah if you need to let go of your stressful or happy days. Tell Allah everything. If you were to tell Mommy, the story will get to Abah or even your Uncles and Aunties. If you tell your friends, the story might just spill when they come over our house or even when I fetch you from school. ;) My point here is, your story can never be 'safe' with a human being. If you really want it to be a secret, then keep it to yourself. If you can't, take sometime on the prayer mat and just converse with Allah. HE is there. HE is waiting for you to talk to HIM. There's nothing to lose.

Mommy and Abah are currently striving to do just that. We will Insha'Allah guide and help you through it when the day comes. Here's a quote Mommy recently came across:

Don't trust anyone because even your shadow leaves you in the dark!

There you go. Allah knows best, your solution is there with HIM.
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Khairaldin's first education?

Assalamualaikum..

Firstly thank you to all of you who still drop by at my blog even though I update once a month. It is so nice to know that you are checking on me or us. *hugs* Anyway, I have been quite tied up lately. We'll be going back to Malaysia for a few months Insha'Allah. So, I have to start packing because it is not easy to pack for 4 people!! Hubby's never done his own packing, because I am a bit obsessive when it comes to packing. I have to make sure how the clothes are packed and what match with what. Haha To be honest, I just wanna make myself look busy even when I'm not. So excuse me! ;)

So, as per my previous entry, Insha'Allah Khairaldin will be starting school in September 2012. We are still waiting for reply on his waiting list and have been doing a lot of thinking about his first education. Just wondering, how do you parents choose what type of school to send your kids to? Is religion something you look at? Or the distance from home? Do you all even plan beforehand what type of school to send your child to? As for me, since we are living in a non-muslim country, I find it important to firstly educate my children about Islam. Alhamdulillah, at this age (2.5years old) Khairaldin understands that he has to eat with right hand, read Bismillah, and a few other basic Sunnah. Knowing that we (people around him) have taught him all of this basic yet very important sunnah, make me feel that Islamic school is a necessity for him. I want him to know and to learn a LOT more about Islam. I don't want him to be one of those to just follow blindly because one day, he would be bored of following our instructions and that's when friends become their best adviser! So, I want him to know why we do what we have to do in this life. I need him to know the important of this life.

Last Sunday I attended a Ta'leem at our local Masjid. Masha'Allah, the topic discussed was exactly the things going through my mind. Iskandar received and e-mail about the ta'leem and I said I wanted to go without knowing what it's about. When the Maulana spoke, he started mentioning about 'Ilmu' (knowledge). He emphasised the importance of knowledge and how it could help us in the Hereafter. Nowadays, we are interested on the best secular education to send our child to. For example we make sure that the discipline level are top notch, results are clean sheet without any Bs even, just to name a few. What we have forgotten is, how would all this help bring us to Jannah? It's not wrong to send our children to the best of all school, because even if you are a doctor, you can still help a patient because of Allah Taala. You can serve the society because of Allah Taala no matter what your profession is. But you have to instill in your heart that everything you do IS for HIM and noone else.

As the Maulana continued, he quoted a hadith, as follow; Rasulullah Salallahualaihiwassalam said, "When the son of Adam (human being) dies, his deeds are stopped except for three things, namely, his good deeds, his knowledge, and his pious child who prays for him". I'm gonna concentrate on knowledge and pious child. When we learn, we have to set our intention of why we are learning. Is it just for the sake of passing the test? For the sake of pleasing our parents with all the As? Or even for the sake of "going to school is the norm", not knowing what our intentions are? Intention is very important without a doubt. It can make you and break you! So we have to choose wisely.

Coming back to Khairaldin, when I was carrying him, I prayed for a baby boy. I desperately wanted this "baby boy" to lead the younger siblings to the right path if one day either of us are gone (before them). Alhamdulillah, Allah has answered my prayers and Khairaldin is now a responsibility (Amanah) from Allah to us. Because Allah has given us Khairaldin, it is only fair for us to take care of him the way HE has wanted us to do so. Sending him to an Islamic school has always been my first choice. However, because of this wait list, I have told Iskandar that if he doesn't get a chance to join this school, I want to home school him. You see, I have always always! wanted to be a nursery teacher. After having kids, I don't feel the need to be a nursery teacher. Somehow this hadith has lead me to my dreams again. As the hadith said, knowledge is one of the things that will not stop even after we die. This means, if you have learn something, teach!! The person who learns from you will pass on the knowledge and the cycle will continue. Even when you die you are still getting deeds! How amazing is that? SubhanAllah. For all the wrongdoings I have done, I really need those deeds to accumulate continuously! I have told myself, if Khairaldin doesn't get a place at Leicester Islamic Academy, this is such a blessing for me. Education doesn't have to be in a school. Even if the child goes to the best of school, the parents still need to carry on and practise the things being taught at home. This way the child will know the importance of the things he have just learnt.

Yes, I am still sane. I don't plan to teach my kids till high school or further. Haha. My plan is to take it one year at a time. There is no need for him to start school at 3 years old because everyone is doing it. I pray that I will be able to teach him as much as I could before he reach a certain age. I want him to remember us as his teacher and educator. In the end of it all, we need his/their prayers when we die. All I want is for him to become a pious child who will always remember his parents and make du'a for his parents. And like a quote I found before, "to be in your children's memories, you have to be in their lives today!". Insha'Allah, that is exactly what I am aiming to do.

Public Display of Affection :))

Dearest Iskandar,

 

Credits

Please be aware that this entry was written after I have finished browsing 100s of Rainbow Cupcake recipes. My intention was to bake Rainbow Cupcakes for our Anniversary to show how much you mean to me. But since you are not a dessert person, I have decided to write a 'sweet' entry tasting just like a cupcake so you can taste the sweetness in our relationship. Because really, I don't wanna end up baking the cupcakes which will only end up in my already fat tummy! Just so you know, when eating cupcakes, people are more interested in the frosting so, I have personally chosen a cream cheese frosting for this 'non existence cupcake'. All I have to say is, expect a whole load of cheesy-ness in here. ;)

Alhamdulillah, we are in our 4th year marriage today!!! After all the hard work you went through during the solemnization (three times akad), it's all worth it as we are still going strong until today, Mahsa'Allah. Even during the 'akad' I knew you were not only winning my heart but also my parents'. Day after day you are only getting better at sucking up to them, I mean, making them love you more ;) Even though we've been together for four years, I feel that our journey has only just begun. THE journey to everlasting love! THE love that we've never seen it before. 

Sorry, I'm allowed to be cheesy and show the blog my love for you, right? ;) I want our kids to grow up and read these entries to always remind us and themselves what love should really mean!

Anyway, I know we say not to make a big deal out of birthdays, wedding anniversaries, couple anniversary or even reception anniversaries :) At least I know you don't. Haha As a lady, I still have that space in my mind to just remember all these unwanted facts! So it's just fair for me to give myself that peace of mind to "celebrate" it even though it's just through my blog. All you have to do is 'hear' me out, like you always do anyway! Hehehe

Iskandar, as the years go by, our relationship has somewhat bloomed into a whole different level. We don't feel the need to have random surprises/presents to make believe that we are indeed still IN love. We are blessed in so many different ways. We have had people not believing in us and not supporting us, but we stayed strong, for Allah's sake. Alhamdulillah, with the kids around, we are left astonished every single second. We will always turn to each other thinking "how in the world did we bring them up this way?". It's all with Allah's will, that's all that we know. We could never have done it all ourselves. Never ever!

Iskandar, we really have Allah to be thankful to for giving us another day closer to each other and most of all closer to HIM. I feel so thankful and blessed that Allah's given me lots of rain and shine throughout this relationship because without those rain and shine, you, My Rainbow would have never appeared. You are THE rainbow in my Cloud 9. Insha'Allah, if I continue to follow your lead, you will lead me and the kids to that pot of gold (Jannah/Heaven) where we all will be living happily ever after. That is all that matters to me! No amount of diamonds or material stuffs can ever buy us the happiness in Hereafter.

Alhamdulillah! Only Allah knows how thankful I am to always have you by my side w hen I am experiencing my happiest or saddest moments. I always pray that Allah will always guide us to the right path in this world as there's nothing more that I want than to live happily with you in the Hereafter. Our love means a lot more 'there' than when we are here. Let's pray that we will continue to share and help each other through this life for our ultimate goal, THE JANNAH.

I love you for the sake of Allah subhanahuwataala. Thank you for being a great partner and father to the kids.

 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3,

Your inseperable wife, Insha'Allah

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THEY'RE OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!!!!

because HE had an affair! Meh.

How many times have you heard of such marriage break ups? I've heard it one too many times! Which has made me think.....

Who do we blame when a marriage ends because of the GUY having an affair? Of course we blame the guy instantly! I mean come on, he's having an affair!!! How bad is that? There's no justification on his side as to why he had the affair. But hang on a minute. Do we stop to ask the guys their reasons for the divorce? Of course we don't. I mean, why should we?? He's made an offence so why should we listen to what he's got to say. Right?

Wrong!

If one is really concerned about someone's divorce, they would take the initiative to listen to both sides of the story. Of course both stories will differ tremendously because there is something that either party wouldn't want to disclose. So, what do "we" do next? We start judging from our own perspective because we've heard it all. I mean, that's what we do best right? We have seen it all in Law & Order, CSI etc etc. After we've heard both parties' story, we, the Jury, will sit down, discuss and give our final thought as to who is at fault. Unfortunately, that's absolutely NOT how our life should be! Even in Hudud law, four PIOUS witnesses have to come upfront and admit that they have witnessed such adultery in PERFECT DETAIL, IF, by any chance their statements do not satisfy the requirements, they (the witnesses) can be sentenced to eighty lashes for unfounded accusation of fornication. That is how bad assumptions and suspisions are perceived in Islam. We as human beings are not given the chance to judge another person.... at all! Judgement day is there for a reason. It's stated in Surah Al-Fatihah verse 3- Maaliki yawmi-d-Deen; MASTER of the Day of Judgement. It's ALLAH's 'job' to put us on the spot and judge the good and bad we have done in our life. Even if we've heard both sides of the story, do you think we can be unbiased? Of course we can't. Especially if we have experienced it before.

Before I got married to Iskandar, I've always told him. If you wanna have 2 or 3 or 4 wives, carry on. As long as you can fulfill all the requirements that you're supposed to. Yes, I am frank when it comes to serious things like this. There must be a reason why ALLAH allow men to marry 4. I have never believed that affairs happen BECAUSE the guy is unfaithful. I believe that it takes two to tango, so it takes two to break a marriage too. There must be a solid reason behind an affair. My Mom always tells me, some people just HAVE to marry 2 or 3 or 4 because there are things in their life that they need to be fulfilled but with one wife, it's not possible to be fulfilled (for example, one wife is only just good at cooking and the other maybe sewing). There must be a reason why ALLAH has matched them together. My Mom has always 'encouraged' polygyny if it has to happen.

So, back to affairs. Why is it always the guys that gets the blame? It's simply because they have higher sexual urges than girls (that's a fact!). Then, of course guys will get blamed regardless of their story. But! Doesn't this mean that there is something that the ladies aren't doing to please the man? This is why I say it takes two to break a marriage. We can NEVER pin point a person for their wrongdoings because we don't know what happen or doesn't happen behind CLOSED DOORS. Why are we so quick at judging the guys for being the bad one? From my point of view, affairs happen because the wives aren't fulfilling their responsible as a wife. It's as simple as that. I'm not only blaming the wife, it's silly for the guy to have an affair but I'm just saying... It takes two to tango! Simple as that. We have no knowledge to just point a finger to one person and look bad on that person because he had an affair.

Ok, let's turn the table for a moment. If a girl has an affair, who would you blame? I'm sure there must be some amongst you that will say "HE deserves it for not treating the wife correctly." "HE deserves it for not showering the wife with lots of love and happiness". Am I right or am I right? Wouldn't the blame still be on the guy? Yes, it will still be. Only because we have been brought up with a mindset that girls are to be showered with lots of love and DIAMONDS! If they're not, they will never be happy. So, who's to be blamed for not showering all this? THE GUYS!!!

We have been brought up with a mindset and society that girls are sensitive and guys are HEARTLESS! No matter what guys try to do, they get the blame. It's just like when a wife gets beaten up, the guys will get the blame because he's just not supposed to hit his wife. It's wrong to smack a lady because they're fragile. But when a lady beats up a man.. it's okay because she can't express it any other way. How is that fair? Yes it's not fair! It can never be fair. That is why ALLAH swt has made it easy on us to not judge another person because we can NEVER be fair! It's not wrong to be concerned for one party, but it is wrong when ties are broken in the whole process. People tend to be emotionally involved till they forget their own flesh and blood.

Even worse when the divorce has finalised and the guy is going out with the so called "affair lady". People without hesitation make a judgement that YES!!! THE AFFAIR WAS TRUE AFTER ALL. Hang on a sec, couldn't it be because that so called "affair lady" has always been there throughout the whole process and has been his 'friend' throughout the downfall? So, it is only right for her to be in the picture and comforting him from his divorce. No? But, most important of all, isn't it ALLAH that has brought them together? Isn't this what they call fate? Just because it's not a fairytale like fate, doesn't mean it couldn't happen. It is all ALLAH's plan. Whether we like it or not. HE, the Almighty has planned it out perfectly for us. So, who are we to Judge that "It's WRONG for him to go out with the so called "affair lady""?

So, let's take a step back if we've gone too far. Let's think in a positive way. Everything happens for a reason. Only ALLAH swt knows the reason behind it. Marriage, affairs, divorce etc, is beyond our control. It's ALLAH's way to show that HE is in control. Doesn't mean you have a perfect marriage, your marriage can never break up. If ALLAH wills it, you have no say! Everything is in ALLAH's hand. Let's think about it, if we are upset with the person's "affair" or divorce, doesn't it ONLY mean that we are upset with ALLAH's decision?? Think about it. And from a cousin's quote: The Mind can be controlled to shift from a Negative state to a Positive one. Just find something Positive to do. Your Mind will follow next. So, think about it in a Positive way and throw out all the Negative views that we have been brought up with from Movies or Dramas etc. Insha'Allah, may we look at things more clearly and not make a 'judge' out of ourselves. Judgement day will come, so let's just be prepared for that day and leave the judging 'work' to ALLAH swt. Don't waste our precious time too engrossed with other people's affair (pun intended ;-).

May we have more barakah in this life, Insha'Allah. AMIN!!

I will also leave this few Hadiths, Insha'Allah. May we Ponder upon it. :-)

Hadith : Bukhari and Muslim

The Messenger of Allah salallahualaihiwasalam said: " Beware of suspicion, for suspicion (may be based on) the most untrue information; and do not spy upon one another and do not try to bare each other's hidden failings."

"O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah: For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." (surah al-hujuraat verse 12)

"Behold, ye received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things of which ye had no knowledge; and ye thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of Allah." (surah al-noor verse 15)

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah : "Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery.  A man may commit adultery, and drink, and then repent, and Allah will forgive him.  But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

My life.... Now.

Brother and Sister at Play

Well, Assalamualaikum (Peace be unto you) there! It's been wayyyyyy too long since I last blogged. As you can read from my previous entry, Iskandar is now in a full time; office hours kinda job. I didn't expect my life to be this busy and yet loving each and every day as a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) and Housewife. Oh, I have to say that ever since Iskandar started his job, the term SAHM doesn't apply anymore because I've been "hanging out" in Khairaldin's toy room more than ever and it's like I'm a Play At Home Mom until a few hours before Iskandar gets home. Only now I realised how much Iskandar's been Khairaldin's play buddy. It's not easy taking care of an active toddler. He wears me out by 11am! That soon!

On my first week, I didn't dare to bring the kids out because I thought I could not handle. But then, I somehow had to buy some stuff from Tesco. So I braved myself and went shopping with BOTH my kids!! It's an amazing experience! Khairaldin is such a good brother. He loves to kiss Layina every now and then even when in the trolley. People were smiling at how loving he is and of course he loved the attention too. It has been a breeze bringing both of them all by myself. We've been out and about more often now. Khairaldin is not a stay at home person like me. Because of that we have to go out to Tesco every other day just strolling down the aisles buying little unnecessary things. Once we've done that, he's a happy bunny for a few hours at least.

Excited to try cherry tomatoes!

Of course I have my "can you please just sit down quietly!!!!!!!" moments....one too many time! But this will overcome when I drag both of them into the kitchen. Khairaldin loves to help me in the kitchen as it is the time for him to try new food. Alhamdulillah I manage to cook fresh food for Hubby almost every single day. I feel my day accomplished when all 3 of us sit down at the dinner table for dinner. Layina will be in her swing entertaining herself that time. It's an amazing feeling knowing my Husband and kid(s) are being fed by my 'hardwork'. Alhamdulillah. For sure I couldn't have done it without Allah's will.

Anyways, I've always had people asking me on how I can cope at being a full time housewife and Mom. I've never got the chance to answer that question because I've always had Iskandar or my parents by my side. Iskandar was working part time (4 hours) before this. So, this is the first time I'm handling TWO kids all by myself! Alhamdulillah, it's been 1 whole month of full time Housewife and Mom. One word: AMAZING! SubhanAllah! I am loving each and every moment of it. Now, if anyone asks me about how I can cope as a SAHM and a wife, my answer will simply be "My body is engineered to do exactly all this therefore it is not something impossible to do. Insha'Allah, start the day with Bismillah and all will go down smoothly."

I'll end now and Insha'Allah will start blogging again. I'm slowly getting on track and hopefully will be able to do some reading and sharing. Oh by the way, we visit Iskandar's workplace every Friday for Solat Jumu'ah. And Alhamdulillah, Khairaldin look forward to Fridays because he wants to go 'Masjid'. Also..... I get some time-off from Khairaldin because there'll be a few students wanting to babysit him. So yeah, Alhamdulillah. It's been amazing ( I know I've said this one too many time.. Oh well)! My utmost respect for all SAHM! For those working Mom's without maids too! Hats off to all of you who's made it till today. Definitely not an easy job but to know you're being rewarded by Allah swt, priceless!

Ps: I'm also 'working' on a small project starting today. If all goes well, I will 'spill' Insha'Allah.

Pps: Amidst all those "busy" days, we still managed to get some day off with the kids and my parents in London ;)

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THIRD PREGNANCY ALREADY??!

I can remember very clearly the day I announced my second pregnancy. I received mixed reaction from family and friends. There were those who were very excited as if they were the ones that are pregnant and there were also those who were upset for numerous reasons. Some even questioned how in the world I could think about getting pregnant when my Husband was still jobless. Of course I couldn't change people's reaction but Alhamdulillah I was still the healthy and bubbly me throughout the pregnancy. Well to be honest, we didn't plan for Layina's birth. Actually we didn't even really plan for Khairaldin's. All we know was that we wanted a child and Masha'Allah, we're now blessed and living happily with two children, Alhamdulillah. Throughout my pregnancy, Iskandar didn't have a proper job. He was on part time jobs most of the time. Alhamdulillah we managed to live with whatever income that was coming in. Also thanks to my parents for making sure we stay in their house. Alhamdulillah.

No doubt Iskandar was looking for jobs. He wasn't choosy of the job as long as it pays Halal income. He tried so many places and yet were rejected or no replies. We didn't give up, we believe that Allah WILL shower us with rizq when and how HE wants to. Iskandar kept searching high and low for a permanent job but the rezeki was just not there...yet. We didn't lose hope. We kept praying and asking for HIS help everyday and night! Come Ramadhan, we prayed extra hard for HIS help because only HE can grant us the best in life. Iskandar was so determined to look for jobs. He's on the PC every now and then looking for Islamic Banking jobs or even as a lecturer. He's applied almost everywhere, be it in Malaysia, UK or even in the Middle East. Noone replied to his application. Personally I know how much he's been hunting high and low for a Halal job. Trust me, it's not easy.

As the days go by, I finally gave birth to Layina with 

a "jobless" husband beside me. I was not afraid of the idea that my husband was still jobless. In fact, my faith grew even stronger! I know for a fact that Allah will not burden us with what we could not handle. HE has promised and repeated this in the Qur'an time and again. I felt everything will fall into place if not now, Insha'Allah in the hereafter. To know that we now have a baby girl could only mean two things, Rezeki and Barakah is on our side. In Islam, having a daughter is something special. It's mentioned in a Hadith; 

Jabir ibn 'Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden." A man from the people said, "And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?" He said, "And two." [Bukhari]

There I was thinking I don't have the luxury that everyone is talking about but what matters most is Insha'Allah I will have that luxury in the afterlife. Having said that, it doesn't mean we have given up with our life now! Of course we can't do that. Whatever we do it has to be for Dunya and Akhirah. There must be balance in our life. So, Iskandar was still with his job hunting. We were also thinking of going back to Malaysia for good if he doesn't get a job anytime soon. We were ready to hijrah to another country if he still doesn't get a job. It is good to do hijrah with the niyah for Allah Ta'ala.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a friend of my Dad e-mailed my Dad saying he wants to meet up with Iskandar as they have a job that he might be interested in. This person is a Director at MIHE (the place Iskandar was awarded his Masters in Islamic Banking, Finance and Management). Without hesitation he met up with the Director and was offered a permanent job there and then. It's nothing fancy but definitely a start for him. Who knows he might get connection from MIHE and can further his career or even do PhD there? Only Allah knows.

So, Insha'Allah, Iskandar will be starting his permanent job with MIHE this October.

This job offer has opened our eyes even more. All the places that he's applied for didn't even bother to reply to just say that they are not hiring or anything at all. However, the place that we'd never think of offering him a job suddenly contacts him and offered him the job. We have always believe that rezeki is from Allah swt even when people gave us the reason to doubt this. Who says you can't suddenly wake up and stumble upon a pot of gold? I believe that miracle do happen if Allah wills it. Nothing is impossible but of course, first we have to work and pray hard for the miracle to happen. Always believe that noone can give nor take anything away from you without Allah's will. If HE has stated that your rezeki will be there, it will be there. Sometimes HE is just testing us to see how far we would go to worship him.

Of course this is a reminder to myself too. Even though Iskandar will be in a permanent job, this doesn't mean we should stop worshipping HIM. This is the reason we should continue to worship HIM more as HE's given us something we least expected!! It just goes to show how powerful HE is and SubhanAllah there is just no reason to defy HIS power! We are really thankful to HIM and to those who's been praying for us. May Allah bless you all with goodness in this life and hereafter, Amin!!!!

If you are still reading and waiting for me to officially announce about my 3rd pregnancy, sorry to say, I'm not pregnant. At least not for another few years, Insha'Allah. I'm sure if I suddenly announce my 3rd pregnancy there will be people out there who'd say something like "3rd pregnancy already??!" Even with a "working" husband people will find excuse to just mock about another person. Sometimes we just forget rezeki comes in many shapes and form, it's not just money/wealth wise.

Like I always say, we can plan all we want but in the end of it all, Allah has the last say. :) 

Ps: wish me luck on becoming a FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE and MOTHER to a toddler and soon to be 3 months old baby. Please pray that Allah will make it easy on the 4 of us, Insha'Allah. JazakAllahu Khair!

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