Because I just felt like blogging.

Today marked Khairaldin's first week of school. Unfortunately, he didn't manage to attend school today because both Layina and him was down with cold and cough. I didn't want other kids to catch their illness so I thought it was good to have them both at home. My oh my! I was partly wrong. Even though it's only been a week, I have totally forgotten how to manage two kids at once. Layina being her girly possessive self (like Mommy, apparently) didn't let Abang Khalid be anywhere near me. Every time she sees me hugging Khairaldin she will come wailing for help. Sigh. Girls will be girls. Abang Khalid is such an understanding brother. He would always give in and come back when the time is right. Alhamdulillah shukur.

Sometimes I wonder how do people cope with having their kids at home up till 5/6 years old?? Ok, those without maids. How do you cope? I'm really thankful that Khairaldin starts school at this age. It is just a prefect age and it gives me time to bond with Layina. Which also brings me to the thought of having another baby because Layina is way too clingy. Iskandar thinks it is best if she has a baby brother or sister soon. Hmmmmmm. Insha'Allah. In all honesty, I do want the kids age gap to be around 2 years old because it's super after looking at how Khairaldin and Layina just click with one another. They do have their moments but I remember more of them loving each other than actually bashing each other up. :)

Anyway, Khairaldin goes to school from 12-3pm, and obviously he's at school during lunch time. At first I didn't know that they allow to bring some packed sandwiches for him. A few days later only I found out that we are allowed to bring him some food. What I'd do before packing his lunch days were to bring some food for him in the car when I fetch him. On his first day of school, he demanded "pau kaya" for his 'lunch'. Yes, my son wanted pau for lunch. So not British! School also provides them with some fruits for snacks but one day they gave him pear and he didn't like it. So instead I packed for him his favourite fruits. Alhamdulillah both my kids LOVE their fruits and veges! They can sit down and just munch munch munch until its gone. Layina can literally finish a whole bunch of grapes all to herself. But then again, that baby girl would eat anything ;) It's okay girl, it's just a girl thing with food ;)

Yes, I made the dresses myself :)

As for my self update, I have been keeping myself busy with some sewing ever since Khairaldin started school. Layina's always asleep as soon as we send Khairaldin off to school and if I'm lucky, she will be asleep for the whole 3 hours. Mahsa'Allah. So I have been really free and I just needed to kill some time. Sometimes I would also prepare dinner or even just laze around watching tv. Alhamdulillah. Life has been great. Today however, my sewing machine broke down so they're taking it for repair for the next 7 days. You might or might not see me on here often now :) Alhamdulillah I have kept myself real busy and it's just a bliss. It's true they say when you're busy, you will not think of unnecessary things and Subhan'Allah, when I think back about my past, I am just so thankful for the people who's in and out of my life. They have definitely made me who I am now. May Allah bless all of you, Amin.

Anyways, it's hubby time now. So, I'll catch up with you soon. Insha'Allah. Please make du'a for my family. JazakAllahu Khairan Kathira.

Ps: Bear with me, blog's under construction. That's a good sign though because I might be back. :)

THIRD PREGNANCY ALREADY??!

I can remember very clearly the day I announced my second pregnancy. I received mixed reaction from family and friends. There were those who were very excited as if they were the ones that are pregnant and there were also those who were upset for numerous reasons. Some even questioned how in the world I could think about getting pregnant when my Husband was still jobless. Of course I couldn't change people's reaction but Alhamdulillah I was still the healthy and bubbly me throughout the pregnancy. Well to be honest, we didn't plan for Layina's birth. Actually we didn't even really plan for Khairaldin's. All we know was that we wanted a child and Masha'Allah, we're now blessed and living happily with two children, Alhamdulillah. Throughout my pregnancy, Iskandar didn't have a proper job. He was on part time jobs most of the time. Alhamdulillah we managed to live with whatever income that was coming in. Also thanks to my parents for making sure we stay in their house. Alhamdulillah.

No doubt Iskandar was looking for jobs. He wasn't choosy of the job as long as it pays Halal income. He tried so many places and yet were rejected or no replies. We didn't give up, we believe that Allah WILL shower us with rizq when and how HE wants to. Iskandar kept searching high and low for a permanent job but the rezeki was just not there...yet. We didn't lose hope. We kept praying and asking for HIS help everyday and night! Come Ramadhan, we prayed extra hard for HIS help because only HE can grant us the best in life. Iskandar was so determined to look for jobs. He's on the PC every now and then looking for Islamic Banking jobs or even as a lecturer. He's applied almost everywhere, be it in Malaysia, UK or even in the Middle East. Noone replied to his application. Personally I know how much he's been hunting high and low for a Halal job. Trust me, it's not easy.

As the days go by, I finally gave birth to Layina with 

a "jobless" husband beside me. I was not afraid of the idea that my husband was still jobless. In fact, my faith grew even stronger! I know for a fact that Allah will not burden us with what we could not handle. HE has promised and repeated this in the Qur'an time and again. I felt everything will fall into place if not now, Insha'Allah in the hereafter. To know that we now have a baby girl could only mean two things, Rezeki and Barakah is on our side. In Islam, having a daughter is something special. It's mentioned in a Hadith; 

Jabir ibn 'Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden." A man from the people said, "And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?" He said, "And two." [Bukhari]

There I was thinking I don't have the luxury that everyone is talking about but what matters most is Insha'Allah I will have that luxury in the afterlife. Having said that, it doesn't mean we have given up with our life now! Of course we can't do that. Whatever we do it has to be for Dunya and Akhirah. There must be balance in our life. So, Iskandar was still with his job hunting. We were also thinking of going back to Malaysia for good if he doesn't get a job anytime soon. We were ready to hijrah to another country if he still doesn't get a job. It is good to do hijrah with the niyah for Allah Ta'ala.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a friend of my Dad e-mailed my Dad saying he wants to meet up with Iskandar as they have a job that he might be interested in. This person is a Director at MIHE (the place Iskandar was awarded his Masters in Islamic Banking, Finance and Management). Without hesitation he met up with the Director and was offered a permanent job there and then. It's nothing fancy but definitely a start for him. Who knows he might get connection from MIHE and can further his career or even do PhD there? Only Allah knows.

So, Insha'Allah, Iskandar will be starting his permanent job with MIHE this October.

This job offer has opened our eyes even more. All the places that he's applied for didn't even bother to reply to just say that they are not hiring or anything at all. However, the place that we'd never think of offering him a job suddenly contacts him and offered him the job. We have always believe that rezeki is from Allah swt even when people gave us the reason to doubt this. Who says you can't suddenly wake up and stumble upon a pot of gold? I believe that miracle do happen if Allah wills it. Nothing is impossible but of course, first we have to work and pray hard for the miracle to happen. Always believe that noone can give nor take anything away from you without Allah's will. If HE has stated that your rezeki will be there, it will be there. Sometimes HE is just testing us to see how far we would go to worship him.

Of course this is a reminder to myself too. Even though Iskandar will be in a permanent job, this doesn't mean we should stop worshipping HIM. This is the reason we should continue to worship HIM more as HE's given us something we least expected!! It just goes to show how powerful HE is and SubhanAllah there is just no reason to defy HIS power! We are really thankful to HIM and to those who's been praying for us. May Allah bless you all with goodness in this life and hereafter, Amin!!!!

If you are still reading and waiting for me to officially announce about my 3rd pregnancy, sorry to say, I'm not pregnant. At least not for another few years, Insha'Allah. I'm sure if I suddenly announce my 3rd pregnancy there will be people out there who'd say something like "3rd pregnancy already??!" Even with a "working" husband people will find excuse to just mock about another person. Sometimes we just forget rezeki comes in many shapes and form, it's not just money/wealth wise.

Like I always say, we can plan all we want but in the end of it all, Allah has the last say. :) 

Ps: wish me luck on becoming a FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE and MOTHER to a toddler and soon to be 3 months old baby. Please pray that Allah will make it easy on the 4 of us, Insha'Allah. JazakAllahu Khair!

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Pregnancy and Finance

"Verily, Allah, with Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the hour, He sends down the rain, and Knows what is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware (of all things)." [Surah Luqman, 34]

This pregnancy is different from my first one in terms of financial status. When I planned to have Khairaldin, both Iskandar and I had a "stable" job. So we thought it was the 'right' time to have a baby. However, 5 months down the line, I got made redundant. Iskandar continued his studies which made him reduced his working hours until today.

Then, almost a week ago, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. We were both shocked and didn't know what to expect. Iskandar works for about 4 hours a week, which is really not enough for us to actually get thru the month. Alhamdulillah, my parents willingly invited us to stay with them. Otherwise we'd be so broke and on debts by now. No one in the right state of mind would dream to get pregnant when they do not have financial stability, right? Same goes with us. But Allah works in mysterious ways. We can plan all we want but HE has the last say. It took Iskandar and I quite a while to digest the news that I am pregnant. But we had to face the fact that if I'm not having my period means, I am pregnant. So we were thankful to Allah that we are yet again blessed with another child. Insha'Allah.

About 3 weeks ago, Iskandar asked for an increase in his contract hours since he's finished his Masters. The company been pushing the matter aside and kept telling him to meet with this that and the other. Which never got settled. I found out about my pregnancy last Thursday. So we were already 'scared' of what to happen with our financial. But we shukur, tawakkal and redha with what we already have. We always believe that Allah will never burden us with what we can not handle Surah Baqarah verse 286: "Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. In his favour shall be whatever good each one does, and against him whatever evil does.". After all we've got 9 months to really push ourselves out there. Insha'Allah.

Iskandar planned to meet his HR yesterday to sort out the contract but surprise surprise, the Manager came and spoke to him instead. They told him that they approved the increase of his hours and that he shall start next week!!! What are the odds, exactly 1 week after I find out I was pregnant he managed to change his contract??! We waited for so long for their reply but they kept turning is away.

So, as the Ayat above confirms, only Allah knows everything and anything. HE can give what HE feel is right to be given at that time. Never lose faith!!!! He is just testing us to see if we would give up. If Allah doesn't answer our prayer as when we want HIM to, believe that he has much better plans for us. Doesn't mean HE is not listening to our prayers but instead HE knows whether we really need it or not. I mean, if Iskandar were to get the job earlier, I might become spendthrift. So when the pregnancy news arrive, I might not be able to control my expenditure. But now, I know which is my priority and how to spend wisely because I have managed to live with lesser income than we are expecting soon. Alhamdulillah shukur!!!!!

Here's a reminder for myself and everyone that's reading, we should not question what is given to us even when we feel the time is not right. Who are we to determine when is the right time? When I came across this Ayat, it definitely was a wake up call to me. Now I realise that I can only plan to a certain extent and the rest, it is all up to HIM!!!

Of SECOND pregnancy!!!

Ever since I got my first period (around 12 years young), I never had a consistent every-month-on-the-dot type of period like how many girls do. When I told my Mom about how 'abnormal' I am, she always advised me that "Allah will give you a break when HE feels you deserved it". As years gone by, I got used to my possibly twice a year period cycle. I thought, what's the big deal? at least I get to worship HIM more. Alhamdulillah.

 

Then, I decided to get married. So this period thing became rather a big deal to me because I thought "How am I to conceive if my period is twice a year- once every 6 months?". Mom and I then decided to see a gynae for further check up. The gynae confirmed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). She said with this 'cyst' I might get pregnant easily or I could wait for years to get pregnant (infertility). She also said there is a pill that could make me get my period and from there I have to count the days when I'm fertile. At that time I wasn't married yet, so I didn't bother taking it.

After 6 months into our marriage, we decided to have a baby. We tried and tried but to no avail. Again, I went to see a doctor to get this pill. Even so, nothing happened. About 3 months later, I got pregnant, Alhamdulillah. This time it was our determination to pray to Allah to shower us with a child. I remember it was during Ramadhan at that time. Alhamdulillah, during Eid, I was confirmed pregnant. We were so pleased and was confident that it was all Allah's doing.

Alhamdulillah, we got Raja Khalid Khairaldin. Such an easy going child and Masha'Allah very intelligent and gifted in his own ways. After we had Khairaldin we planned to not have any just yet since Iskandar was studying and have no permanent job. Again, my period was haywire and I didn't care much because we weren't trying for a baby. It would be difficult for us to plan if I had my period since I don't take pills etc. So, not getting period was a good sign. I also read that because of breastfeeding one's period is just not right. But I also read that those 'suffering' from PCOS won't have the milk to breastfeed. So read what you want as the final decision is up to Allah.

I haven't been getting 'proper' heavy flow period for 4 months now. My last stained was during Ramadhan and it lasted for 2-3 days. So I didn't take that as period. Lately, I have been feeling rather nauseous and I thought it was because of consuming too much food! So I decided to go on a "diet". Somehow I felt more nauseous without food. Duh! I randomly told Iskandar, "I wanna buy pregnancy tests just for the fun of it". Then he said "ok, that's what it is there for".

On 11.11.10 (yesterday) we bought the 'pee stick', I tried it straight away and it said to wait for 3 minutes. Within 1 minute, we could see that it was already 2 lines. So yeah, POSITIVE! We were in disbelief because we thought it's impossible to get pregnant without getting period. Since there were 2 sticks, I tried again today with my morning pee as apparently it will give different reading in the morning. Alhamdulillah, it was still instant POSITIVE. We then accepted the fact that I'm pregnant.... Again.
 

So, here's my thought. I feel so "small" and powerless! Who are we to plan and have the final say? When we were really trying for a baby, it took us soooo long to actually get one. Now that we are not, Allah just shower us with this li'l one out of nowhere. Allah has plans for all of us. HE knows when is the right time to give and take from us. HE is the one and only that knows what our future will be like. HE is fair and will not burden us with anything we can't bare. To say that we are not ready because Iskandar hasn't got a job is an understatement. But, when is the right time? HE knows! HE is the best of all planner and HIS plans will just fall into place. We are so thankful to HIM for this new bundle of joy!

All I need now is lots of prayers that the pregnancy will go well and that Khairaldin will slowly wean off breastfeed and will sleep on his own bed. Alhamdulillah I've got 9 months to make all this happen Insha'Allah. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes, May Allah SWT shower you with goodness in this life and hereafter. Amin!

Final part: Islam is a religion FOR planning!

Salaam.

This entry is longgggggg overdue! It is a continuation for this and this entries. I'm so sorry for being a procrastinator. I've been doing a lot of reading and get really excited and if possible want to share it with all of you straight away! So that's why I keep changing from topic to topic. I try to accommodate my writings to readers preference. Insha'Allah. If you all have any topic in mind at all, do give a shoutout so I can do research on it. Insha'Allah.

Just for the record, I'm doing some reading on home schooling. As soon as I finish the Wedding entries, I will get started on the 'home schooling' entries :) In case some of you are eager to know, the books I'm reading are supporting home schooling to such an extent! I'm not planning to home school Khairaldin but these bookS are making it too appealing! *Stay tuned* But please bear with me as in between those 'educational' entries, there will be stories of my precious baby boy. It's something I would want him to look back and read through. Insha'Allah.

So, moving on. Here's the excerpt from the book regarding children's right to sleeping arrangement. 'The child has the right to have an independent or separate sleeping arrangement. This comes from Prophet's saying: "Instruct your children in praying at age seven, punish them if they fail [to practice] at age ten; and let them sleep separately from one another" Authenticated by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal. The sleeping arrangement will be a separate room, a separate corner, a separate bed/mat for each child (especially during adolescence).

There is a dilemma in this regard that has to be mitigated. The average size of a Muslim family is 6-7 children. How many families can afford to provide separate sleeping arrangements for them?'

Basically, here it shows that family planning is permissible. Spacing of children and adjusting the numbers to the family's means are a part of the solution as well as improving the housing situation of the family. There are many reasons given but like I said, it is how we would want to pecieve it. Do always pray that Allah will show us to the right path.

Alhamdulillah, I have now managed to finish up my entries regarding family planning in Islam. I really hope all of you have managed to benefit something out of these entries. Whatever our question may be, always remember that the answer is in the Al-Quran and/or Sunnah. Since these are the only guidance we have left for us now, let's try and make full use of it.

I pray that we will all be guided to the right path. Amin.

Ps: JazakAllah Khair to all of you who have stopped by to read my entries. Even if I don't get that many comments, your frequent footsteps show that you've enjoyed my entries. Alhamdulillah, I'm really pleased that I can share all of that I know with others whom are interested. Thank you :)
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Part 2: Are you ACTUALLY having any SEX???!!

Remember my entry about people.constantly.asking.if.

you're.pregnant.or.not? Yes, that entry. Basically, that entry was mostly through my experience and hear-says hence it was merely my personal vent ;) There was no hard based evidence in that entry.

So anyway, as I was reading the book about family planning, they coincidentally had a chapter on that 'type' of people. Basically, in the chapter he (the author) mentioned that people have misconceptions about getting married. Most people think that you get married to have babies. With his 'evidences' from the Quran, it not only strengthen my points but made me realise, what is the world getting into, why can't we think more like a Muslim?

In the Quran, Al-Roum (30:21) it's been mentioned "And one of (Allah's) sign is, that He has created for you mates from yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and has ordained between you Love and Mercy". In another Surah Al-A'raf (7:189) "It is He who created you from a single soul and therefrom did make his mate, that he might dwell in tranquilty with her."

Ironically, what this Sura' is trying to point out is that, Allah asks us to get married (when the time comes) and be merry and celebrate love with your partner. Both Sura' did not mention about children or procreation. It only suggests tranquility as an overall purpose of marriage! This is the case because everyone can achieve tranquility BUT not all couples are fertile. Allah knows best. So, Allah wants us to enjoy the marriage for as long as we want until we are ready to have babies (but actually it is HE who knows that we are ready and showering us with the baby(ies)).

However, procreation is important to maintain the human race. Other verses in the Quran do mention procreation; Surah Al-Nahl (16:72) "And Allah has made for you mates from yourselves and made for you out of them, children and grandchildren". Without a doubt procreation is an expectation in marriage but it is not its exclusive purpose. Even when procreation takes place, it should only help to support and endorse tranquility rather than disrupt them. Certain people are happier with having baby(ies) in their life therefore they would want to have the baby soonest. If that makes them happier, by all means, Allah is so much happier for them :)

Surprise surprise, this is where Islam differs to other religion. In other religion, procreation is the exclusive purpose of marital relations. So to those who still go through those annoying questions, it's time you stood up and say "we are enjoying our tranquility!" Or even, highlight them to the Sura' mentioned. Hehehe

It is now clear that marriage and family formation in Islam require a good deal of planning. Since we have to consider (ie; planning) so many things before getting married like health wise, money wise, the type of wife etc etc. Then, it is only fair to also plan on when to have child(ren). In the end of it all, always always remember that Allah knows what's best for us all. Insha'Allah, we can only plan but the decision is only in HIS hand.

Insha'Allah there will be more open minded people in our generations. :) Thank you all for reading and contributing. Jazakallahu Khairan (May Allah s.w.t grant you goodness).
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Family planning...

Will be occupied this weekend with some SERIOUS reading. I've always wanted to know the Islamic way on family planning and child rearing. So, Iskandar borrowed this book from his library and I'm determined to finish and blog about it. I will definitely share because this book actually answers most questions any Muslim ladies have about birth control.

One of the famous question:
'Is birth control a form of killing ie, does it come under the meaning of the verse 'Do not kill your children in fear of want'?

To be continued........ Insha'Allah I'll be back by Monday :)

Enjoy your weekend and I heard it is a long weekend in Malaysia right? So put your feet up and just chill!
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Planned or Unplanned?

Isn't that the famous question people would ask whenever you tell them that you're pregnant?

Well at least for me it is. When we told our friends about my first pregnancy they asked "oh, did you guys plan for the pregnancy?" Iskandar and I are always dumfounded when being asked this q. My question is, how do you know if a pregnancy is planned or not? Well to be honest, we did set in our heart and mind to try not to get me pregnant at the early months of our marriage. At that time, I was still in uni and Iskandar was just about to settle down in the UK. But no, there was no contraceptions involved. It's merely our 'niat'. Alhamdulillah, after I finished Uni and started my job, I got pregnant. We were indeed in the comfortable stage. Having said that, we did try really hard for a few months (don't ask me how hahaha).

So, during and after the pregnancy we thought, "hey, it's not that hard being pregs and Alhamdulillah the delivery went smoothly!" So, when's the best time to have our second?; note: Iskandar asked this a few months after Khairaldin was delivered. :-|

Yes, being a SAHM is not a problem to have another one almost instantly, at least that's what everyone thinks! I would beg to differ. There are other things that need to be taken into consideration when raising a child. I for one wanna try and breastfeed Khairaldin till he reaches at least 24 months. Not being negative but my left breast it almost empty! However my right side is still like a full blast shower. Hehehe if you know what I mean. So, I know I might not be able to go that long but if I reach 12 months, I am more than happy. :) But some say if I get pregnant before then, my milk supply will stop. How true is that?

Contrary to popular belief, you are able to get your period like normal after a few months of delivery. Like in my case, I started to have normal period when Khairaldin was 3 months old. So yes, my cycles are 'normal'. I say 'normal' because it's not for me. Before I got pregnant, my period cycle was once every 6 months. But now it's almost every month. Guess my hormones are just about to catch up. Hehehe I say this is a blessing in disguise because I know secretly Iskandar wants another baby like NOW! Hahah he doesn't want the age gap between our child to be far apart because he's personally experienced it and doesn't like it. The gap between him and his eldest is about 12 years, and to think they only have 4 in the family. So it's rather hard for them to get along.

Moving on, personally I'm not ready to have another baby. But again, we are not taking any precautions because Iskandar wants another. My only excuse is because I'm still 5kg heavier than my pre-pregs weight. Until I lose them all, I'm all out to having another. But I'm not doing anything about it!!!!! Heheheh So, until when will I finally be ready? Hmmm.

So now I'm thinking, why not get pregnant as many times as I can before 30 and then only start on the weight lost! Hahahaha I don't know, 'planning' for a second is even harder than the first. That's why I don't plan and just let it be...........

If I'm pregnant for the second time in this short span of time. I'd say, "Alhamdulillah it's my rezeki". And to be honest, it's not easy to get pregnant. How much you plan, it might not happen almost instantly. I also believe that things WILL fall into place when ALLAH has destined you to get pregnant. So be it if you're a working mom or stay at home Mom, you can get pregnant regardless.

To sum it up, I'm just against contraceptions. Especially the pills coz I read somewhere (will source it when I find it), it's as if you're killing the child because there are chances of the egg forming. So let's make babies and I mean lots of them! :)

Anyway, here's a pic of my baby boy acting all big. Is he ready to venture the outside world? Hehehe I love you, always!
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