"International Education and Islamic Parenting Conference" organised by Brainy Bunch Islamic Montessori (BBIM)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

First and foremost, Alhamdulillah shukur for the opportunity given by an old friend to attend the "International Education and Islamic Parenting Conference" organised by Brainy Bunch Islamic Montessori (BBIM). It meant a lot to the both of us because we have been thinking of sending Khairaldin to BBIM and attending the conference has shed us some lights on the nursery. So, thank you! Before I start sharing my experience about the talk, I will just inform you that I didn't stay for all 4 speakers due to "clingy kids". Alhamdulillah, we still managed to stay and listen to the Famous Mufti Menk, which helped a lot in our parenting skills. However, that will be on a different blog post. ;-)

The conference begin with Ustazah Isfadiah Dasuki's talk on "Raising our Children with The Book of Allah & The Importance of Islamic Education." In her talk she mentioned a few ways of raising our child with Al-Quran, which are, teaching them Ibadah, morals, sexual education and teaching them to socialise. (I think I missed out a few points and also added a few according to my understanding during the talk. It will be great if anyone who went for the conference share their experience as well. Jazakallahu khairan kathira.) 

How do we teach them Ibadah?

• We can start teaching them at a very young age. The best way to teach is by being the example! When we solat, put them in the same room as us. Let them see how we solat and why we solat, explain to them why we need to stop everything as soon as the Azan finishes. 
• If they disturb us during solat, leave them to it. After finishing our solat, hug and kiss them as they were there watching us doing it. Even if it means they were tugging onto our 'telekong' the whole time. Hugging and kissing them after solat makes them feel that we are enjoying the solat. If we finish our solat and scold them straight after, it will show that solat is very stressful! 
• Reward them when they do something good. When they solat on their own, reward them. When they fast, reward them! They deserve it as it is not easy for them to perform all this on their own. They need encouragements and we are the best source for them to get it from.

How to teach them morals?

• When the child reach a certain age, GUIDE them to be independent. For instance with putting their clothes on. We can't expect them to one day wake up and miraculously put their clothes on, some have the ability Alhamdulillah but most of us needs guidance. So one day we can guide them to just put one sleeve on and when they are good at that, let them put the sleeve on themselves. Then start guiding them with their pants, when THEY feel confident, let them do it on their own. We should keep guiding them throughout their life, even when they are an adult! 
• Give them choices and ALLOW them to make mistakes! If we don't allow them to make mistakes, how do we expect them to know what is right and wrong? 
• Our Prophet s.a.w taught us to have good morals by projecting good morals in himself. So, take that onboard into our own family. 

How to teach them sexual education?

• There are TWO places we can teach them sex ed. First it starts in our own house, we have to explain to them the roles of parent. Sometimes my son gets confused why is it that Mommy can sleep with Abah and yet he cannot sleep with Mommy. We have to explain to them what parents is all about.
• Immediate sexual ed is through SOLAT. How? We explain to them why is it that boys have to solat at the front and girls at the back- this is done by teaching them the aurah and how to protect the gaze. They then understand how to respect different gender.
• Teach them to ask for our permission before entering our room BEFORE fajr, zuhur and AFTER Isya'. Tell them why we need to close our bedroom door and why they need to ask for permission to get in, it is all about aurah and this will then make them feel ashamed to show their own aurah. Also let them know what they should not see inside the bedroom they should not see outside the bedroom. Its like whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom kinda thing.
•  Outside the household, manage the gaze. They should know by now what is shameful for them to see and what is not. When we see adverts of those not covering their aurah, tell them to lower their gaze and switch view for a moment until it's gone.
• Avoid chattering and gossiping. Yes yes yes we all know about this but sometimes we make an effort to get out of the house to meet up with people just to gossip. So, do our best to avoid this! If you can't restrain yourself from gossiping, then avoid the people you know that would talk bad about others. Choose your friends wisely as it teaches them to choose their friends too.      

 How to teach them to socialise?

• Socialising can be taught by letting them watch TV. We shouldn't stop them from watching TV or internet. Observe what they are watching, if they like those violent shows, watch with them and tell them why is it wrong to destroy the buildings. How real is all this destroying and killing people. Tell them and talk to them to instill a different perspective as how the TV is instilling it into them. When we STOP them from watching their favourite shows, they will find the need to watch it more and will go out of their way to watch it. So, best not to refrain them from watching TV or using the internet. Teach them to use it wisely.

Again and again, you are the best example to SHOW them how they should bring themselves up in this world. When they do anything wrong, reflect on yourself. How much gadget have you been using around them? Where are they when you are performing your solat? Have you been covering your aurah around them for them to understand that it is wrong to see other people's aurah? So, START WITH YOURSELF FIRST. Insha'Allah, the parenting will be a breeze for you. Sometimes we want to impose things onto our kids that we ourselves can't keep up with. DO OUR BEST to be the example in the household. 

I pray that Allah make it a breeze for us to care for our children according to the Quran and Sunnah. When we feel we are at lost, grab the Quran and start back from the beggining, Insha'Allah, we can't be wrong at educating our kids the right way. May Allah bless all of you for the efforts you have been putting in to care for his Amanah. Amin ya Rabbalalamin! 

Insha'Allah, I shall continue on Mufti Menk's talk in the near future. Thank you for your patience.

Breastfeeding Friendly Maxi Dress

Well hello, Assalamualaikum. It has been a while since I last visited my site. Alhamdulillah shukur I have been very busy with life. As I've blogged before, I now have a hobby- sewing! and Masha'Allah, it's been the greatest hobby ever. You see, I have never been a shopaholic. It's almost impossible to find any attire that's Muslimah friendly + breastfeeding friendly. When I had Khairaldin, I bought every single long sleeved blouse that I could get hold off. Unfortunately when Layina came, the fashion became rather weird. People were into sheer clothing and believe me it's like a waste of money to actually buy those type of clothing! Ridiculously expensive and doesn't serve any purpose. So, that's when I decided I wanna start sewing. (Well, other than the fact that my Mom's getting older and she's the only sewist everyone depend on in this family :) 

Alhamdulillah, ever since I started sewing which was about 3 months ago, I have managed to make 3 breastfedding friendly maxi dresses + it's muslimah friendly as well!! I am so excited that I can now nurse in public without having to worry about exposing my breasts. Like I mentioned in one of my many posts, to be a successful "breastfeeder", mothers have to attend to their child's need as soon as possible. For instance Layina, she gets upset if I don't feed her as soon as she demands it. And that girl really knows how to sulk! Alhamdulillah she's still being breastfed up till today (16 months, Mahsa'Allah!).

Anyway, I'm getting rusty at typing now. Shame! I seriously need to find time to blog in between my sewing. Do let me know if any of you are interested with the maxi dress. Since I can only own a few dress during this Winter season, I'm planning to sell some of it at affordable price approximately RM45. Btw, it's jersey material. InshaAllah I'll update on other designs I have worked on. Unfortunately I can only sew the designs that I have worked on but if you do have a design in mind, do let me know :)

Till next time inshaAllah.

Ps: might put up an 'in action' picture in case you are wondering how it's breastfeeding friendly ;)

Because I just felt like blogging.

Today marked Khairaldin's first week of school. Unfortunately, he didn't manage to attend school today because both Layina and him was down with cold and cough. I didn't want other kids to catch their illness so I thought it was good to have them both at home. My oh my! I was partly wrong. Even though it's only been a week, I have totally forgotten how to manage two kids at once. Layina being her girly possessive self (like Mommy, apparently) didn't let Abang Khalid be anywhere near me. Every time she sees me hugging Khairaldin she will come wailing for help. Sigh. Girls will be girls. Abang Khalid is such an understanding brother. He would always give in and come back when the time is right. Alhamdulillah shukur.

Sometimes I wonder how do people cope with having their kids at home up till 5/6 years old?? Ok, those without maids. How do you cope? I'm really thankful that Khairaldin starts school at this age. It is just a prefect age and it gives me time to bond with Layina. Which also brings me to the thought of having another baby because Layina is way too clingy. Iskandar thinks it is best if she has a baby brother or sister soon. Hmmmmmm. Insha'Allah. In all honesty, I do want the kids age gap to be around 2 years old because it's super after looking at how Khairaldin and Layina just click with one another. They do have their moments but I remember more of them loving each other than actually bashing each other up. :)

Anyway, Khairaldin goes to school from 12-3pm, and obviously he's at school during lunch time. At first I didn't know that they allow to bring some packed sandwiches for him. A few days later only I found out that we are allowed to bring him some food. What I'd do before packing his lunch days were to bring some food for him in the car when I fetch him. On his first day of school, he demanded "pau kaya" for his 'lunch'. Yes, my son wanted pau for lunch. So not British! School also provides them with some fruits for snacks but one day they gave him pear and he didn't like it. So instead I packed for him his favourite fruits. Alhamdulillah both my kids LOVE their fruits and veges! They can sit down and just munch munch munch until its gone. Layina can literally finish a whole bunch of grapes all to herself. But then again, that baby girl would eat anything ;) It's okay girl, it's just a girl thing with food ;)

Yes, I made the dresses myself :)

As for my self update, I have been keeping myself busy with some sewing ever since Khairaldin started school. Layina's always asleep as soon as we send Khairaldin off to school and if I'm lucky, she will be asleep for the whole 3 hours. Mahsa'Allah. So I have been really free and I just needed to kill some time. Sometimes I would also prepare dinner or even just laze around watching tv. Alhamdulillah. Life has been great. Today however, my sewing machine broke down so they're taking it for repair for the next 7 days. You might or might not see me on here often now :) Alhamdulillah I have kept myself real busy and it's just a bliss. It's true they say when you're busy, you will not think of unnecessary things and Subhan'Allah, when I think back about my past, I am just so thankful for the people who's in and out of my life. They have definitely made me who I am now. May Allah bless all of you, Amin.

Anyways, it's hubby time now. So, I'll catch up with you soon. Insha'Allah. Please make du'a for my family. JazakAllahu Khairan Kathira.

Ps: Bear with me, blog's under construction. That's a good sign though because I might be back. :)

Ramadhan reflection! SubhaAllah Alhamdulillah!

Masha'Allah! It's the 28th of Ramadhan today. It's true when they say time will passby so quickly when you're enjoying yourself. Ramadhan has always been the 'hi and bye' month for me. We plan to do so much and the next thing we know it's already leaving us behind. O Allah, I really miss the month of Ramadhan, I pray that I will see many more Ramadhan so that I can continue to better myself. I can't deny that I need Ramadhan to help me better myself. Alhamdulillah shukur I have seen a few changes in my everyday life. I'm so thankful that Allah taala is listening to my prayers, just what I desperately need.

Yesterday, on the 27th night of Ramadhan whilst I was performing my night prayers, I felt really down. I didn't want the time to tick any longer. I just wanted to be in the prostration position to 'talk' to my creator. Someone who would continuously listen to me even though I have wronged Him one too many times. I felt at that time He was listening to my every need, SubhanAllah! Then again in the end of the day, I have to accept that this day will come to an end, this month will not wait for me even though I'm not ready to leave! At that point I had to comfort myself by reminding me that it is not my Lord that is leaving me! It is ME who would selfishly and conveniently *forget* about him after Ramadhan. It's embarrassing how I would go all out during Ramadhan and when it's not here anymore, I long for another one so that I could do the same.

This Ramadhan has really taught me a lot. From being a servant to Allah, wife, mother, daughter and sister. It has taught me the balance in life. It has reminded me that I can achieve what I want if I put my heart and soul into it. For instance, hubby and I managed to finish the Quran on the day of Nuzul Quran. We were well ahead in our Quranic reading. This only prove that kids aren't barriers to my Worshipping time. If i really wanted to read the Quran before/after Ramadhan, I now know that I have to be stern with myself. I can't keep blaming my kids or time for not being on my side because Masha'Allah, they have been such a great sport! They not only let us carry on with our Quran reading time but they have also showed the need to grab the Quran for us after every prayers. It's made them understand the importance of the Quran and the value of it, Alhamdulillah!

Yes,great things doesn't come easily! I have had my fair share of struggles as well. My struggles made me realise how much my parents, especially my Mom has struggled for me and the family too. I am truly amazed at how Mom managed to juggle between family and time for Allah. You see, I was breastfed for a good 4-5 years, yes, that long! When Ramadhan came, I had such struggle juggling between Layina and my night prayers. Since Ramadhan came during Summer time, my body clock just went haywire! We started off with Imsak at 3+am and Iftar at 9:40pm. By the time we finished terawikh, it was already 11:45pm since Isya' was close to 11pm. By the time we got to bed it was 12am and I'm not the shut your eyes it's time to sleep kinda person! Haha I let my mind and creativity wander for a bit and by the time I sleep, it's late as I will be awake by 2am for Layina's night feed!! I could "easily" wake up and prayed my night prayers but believe you me, it was tiring and draining!

My parents however, were always awake by 2am and continued their prayers, zikr etc till the morning.  Sometimes they don't even go back to sleep until after terawikh!!! Subhan'Allah such determination. I salute them because I am not able to do it just yet.You might argue that Mom don't need to get up for breastfeeding anymore, haha but still, she was the one who cooked and tidied after us during their whole duration with us! I didn't lift a finger because i was so tired and I'm so thankful for such understanding parents. Alhamdulillah.

As Ramadhan went on and time were rather making sense to me, I braved myself and got up for tahajud, hajat etc. I noticed what made me feel so drained about having to wake up for night prayers was because of the amount of prayers I have set myself to do. Like I said, I was going all out. The reason I found it so draining was because I have never done it before and suddenly I am putting my body in such an awkward position. I should have 'trained' myself before Ramadhan but I'm still thankful I managed to know and train myself for after Ramadhan routine. As I was struggling and battling myself with Worshipping Allah, I came across a Hadith which states "the best of deeds are those carried out regularly even if they are little deeds". This Hadith was a wake up call for me to not set my goal at a ridiculous pace but to start somewhere and eventually strive to do better. It's amazing how Allah taala would not want us to struggle doing deeds by even accepting the little ones! Masha'Allah!

So, with this last few days left, it is not too late to do some good deeds. If you're a breastfeeding Mommy like me, take blessing from having to wake up at night to feed your kids. If you can, go the extra feet to get up and just pray tahajud since you're already up. But if you can't,  don't beat yourself over it because to sacrifice your sleep just to fulfill your kids' need is a deed on its own. Whenever you are awaken from sleep because your baby needs to be tendered to, just put in your mind that this is an Amanah and a blessing from Allah taala for you to care for this little cute baby! That in itself is a reward beyond our imagination! Every drop of milk being fed to a hungry baby would expel our sins Masha'Allah. Do it for the sake of Allah and Insha'Allah you will understand the reward given to you.

Last but not least, do make du'a for my family and I. May Allah reward all of you in this life and the hereeafter and may He accept all your deeds during this Ramadhan and so forth. Amin yaRabbal alamin!!

Wassalam.

If only its Ramadhan through and through :(

Alhamdulillah shukur!!!! It's nuzul Quran tomorrow and I'm really glad that we have just 2 juzu' to khatam. Never have it come across my mind to khatam before the last 10 days. Usually til the very last day we are still struggling to finish up. Alhamdulillah my parents were around and we managed to finish 2 juzu' everyday. Before they left for Malaysia we had 5 juzu' to finish off and Alhamdulillah we are still on par! Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah !!!!

May this Ramadhan be a start of a changes new Iva, Ameen ya rabbalalamin! Also my prayers that you are all having a beneficial and peaceful Ramadhan. May Allah swt continue to guide us to the right path and help us with our deen! InshaAllah, we will continue to strive for his blessings! Ameen!

Ps: I miss Ramadhan already, truly really do! 

Love.

Ramadhan Mubarak !

Alhamdulillah shukur! It's the 4th Ramadhan today and we have done 6 juzu' of tadarus. I'm so glad that my kids aren't a nuisance when we are trying to glorify Allah swt. Khairaldin will try and imitate us pray or read the Quran and it's an amazing sight. Masha'Allah! Layina will be busy in the toy room with her toys. Alhamdulillah, we're so thankful to have such kids. Really glad to know that they understand the time we have to worship and glorify Allah and also the time when they can bother us with thier "stuff".

The best way to start is when they're still a baby. We always had Khairaldin next to us when we are praying and it's been instilled in him that Mommy and Abah will have to do this everyday at so and so time. Alhamdulillah. I feel so blessed to get the chance to worship my creator even when I have 2 kids!! However, I would really love to get up at night to perform a few extra ibadah. InshaAllah, praying that I will get the hang of Summer time real soon. Having to do terawikh at 11pm and sleep at 12am, is rather difficult for me. Layina still wakes up for night feed and sahur is at 3am, so my body clock is still rather haywire. Eepps!

So, how's your Ramdhan? Any tips to share for me to do more? Let's top up our deeds by sharing beneficial knowledge :)

Second sewing lesson!

Tommorow will be my second sewing lesson inshaAllah. I am so excited beyond words!! After this sewing lesson, I will be able to try my skills on so many different fabrics inshaAllah. Let's hope the lesson will be as beneficial as I dream of it to be. On another note, it will be the first I'm leaving my babies in other people's care for more than 6 hours. But Alhamdulillah those "other people" are my brother and his gf. Also a family friend. I am blessed to have my loved ones just a shout away. :) after so long not getting my "me time", I think I deserve this time and also it's for a good cause InshaAllah. Anyway, will update on tomorrow's seeing project. Stay tuned.... If you're still reading that is. :D

Our little Muslimah!

SubhanAllah! Alhamdulillah!!

Our little Muslimah is just 2 weeks shy to 1 year old. SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah! She is growing up so fast it's just bittersweet for us. She started walking when she was 9 months old and now she's already running and following each and every thing that we are doing. I am glad that 'solat' is one of the things that she's immitating us other than being on the iPod/BBM. hahaha Well, we do not some balance in life, yes? 

We pray everyday that our children will grow up to become the leader of the Ummah. Amin! 

 (Yeah, I do 'prayers' on my blog because I believe the more 'Amin' I get the more my du'a will come true. So, don't judge :P)

Oh yeah, so far she can last in a hijaab for at least 4 hours straight. Masha'Allah! And to think I thought the hijaab was rather 'tedious' for her but she seems to like it. I don't wear it on her everyday, just during cold summer days. Rather than wearing her a hat or what nots, it's better to put a hijaab on her right? After all, she does look adorable in it. SubhanAllah. We are slowly practising her in hijaab because she will be wearing it to school when she is three years old. That is just 2 years away!!! I'm sure it will flyby. :') I'm trying really hard to bring up my son and daugther to become a great Muslim. It may be "easy" now, but Wallahualam, I'm not sure what the years to come have to offer me. So, while they still have the 'clean sheet' I guess it's best for me to paint them with beautiful colours which is; ISLAM! Love you both lots Khairaldin and Layina.

Kabsa Rice Recipe (Nasi Kabsa Resipi)

Two words for Saturday meal: ALHAMDULILLAH SUCCESS!!! At least that is what Hubby complimented. When I cook, I feel everything is just not right. I'm never satisfied with my cooking because I'm just annoying like that. ;) Anyway, I got my recipe from this website. She has A LOT of gooooooooddddd recipes! I can just drool looking at her blog. Since it's in Malay language, I decided to translate her recipe onto my blog. So for my British friends, you guys won't miss out on this yummy food! Do try it out!!

Kabsa Rice in a HUGE pot! NOT ENOUGH!! ;)

Ingredients:

1 kg beef + bones  
(or 1 whole chicken cut into half)
3 cups Basmati rice (wash and soak for 30 mins)
5 cups of hot water
(or you could use the water from boiled beef)
2 tbsp cooking oil
1 tbsp Ghee
1 cinnamon stick
3 cardamoms
3 pieces of cloves
2 onions- diced
3 cloves of garlic- diced
1 big carrot - grated

1 whole tomato- blended 
(I used the canned chopped tomatoes)
2tbsp tomato puree
1 teaspoon yellow/orange food colouring (saffron)
2 tbsp kabsa spices for recipe click HERE
1 whole lemon- make a whole in the middle
(get the most riped lemon as you want it to be sour-est!)
1 red bell pepper- diced
1 tsp black pepper
2 whole red chillies
1/4 cup raisins

Salt & sugar to taste

Method:

1.  If you're using beef, then boil the beef first until soft. Possibly for an hour.
2. Heat oil and ghee. Saute cinnamon stick, cardamom, cloves, onions and garlic until you can smell the aroma.
3. Then, saute the blended tomato, tomato puree, lemon, food colouring and kabsa spices.
4.  Put the beef in with the rest and add salt & sugar. (If you're using chicken, then put the raw chicken in at this stage and leave it in till it's cooked)
5. Once the beef/chicken is cooked, put in carrot, red bell pepper, chilli, raisins and rice. Put in the hot water to cook the rice.
6. Leave the pot closed and make sure you keep stirring every 4-5 minutes so that the rice won't get burnt at the bottom of the pot. 
7. ENJOY YOUR MEAL WITH YOUR LOVED ONES!!!! :))

Hopefully you are able to follow these steps. It's my first time writing out a recipe! Do let me know how you get on with it. If I've missed out any parts or you have better ingredients for the recipe, do leave a comment to share with all of us! Wishing you the best of luck, cooking monsters!!! May your cooking bring you closer to your loved ones....tummy & heart! ;)

 

Oh, in case the rice ain't spicy for your liking, you can make some sauce with it. I didn't try the sauce because I don't really eat spicy food. So this recipe is just nice for my liking. Try this:

Sauce: Blend tomatoes, green chillies, corriander, sugar and salt. Once it's done, squeeze some lemon into it.

Chicken Shawarma & Nasi Kabsa Recipe (Arabic Cuisine)

Every Ramadhan, I will suddenly turn into a cooking monster! Somehow I only dare to try new cookings and bakings during Ramadhan. I think the reason why I dare to try new recipes is because people will be famished by Iftar (break fast) and I'm sure anything I cook will be absolutely delicious to them, Insha'Allah. So, that is why I try new cuisine only during Ramadhan.

Anyway, since a few people have asked me for these recipes, I decided to make an entry out of it because there's just so much to write! Unfortunately, I am not able to post all of it today because I'm only gonna make it for Saturday Iftar with the whole family, Insha'Allah. Today, I am just going to share with you the spices recipe. You can basically use this spices with any Arabic Cuisine. So here you go.

Ps: PLEASE be warned that you will sneeze a lot by just blending these spices. Too aromatic!! ;) Have fun cooking!

Rempah Kabsa Recipe (Spices for Kabsa rice) 

 

Click pic to enlarge

Ingredients:
1 tbsp cengkih (cloves) *

1 tbsp lada hitam (black pepper)*
1 tbsp jintan manis (fennel) *
1 tbsp jintan putih (cumin) *
2 tbsp ketumbar (corriander seeds) *
1 tbsp buah pelaga (cardamom) *
1 tbsp pelaga hitam (black cardamom pods) *
1 tbsp serbuk cili (chilli powder)

1 TEASPOON kunyit (turmeric powder)

From left: Corriander seeds, black pepper, black cardamom pods, cardomom, fennel and cumin.

Click pic to enlarge

Method:

1. Fry the ingredients marked * until you can smell the aroma.

2. Blend all ingredients until smooth.

3. Add in chilli powder and turmeric powder into blended ingredients.
3. Keep aside the blended ingredients in a tupperware as you only need one tablespoon of blended ingredients every time you cook. You will get plenty of it with the ingredients above (refer picture below).

Blended Kabsa Spices

MP Ibrahim Ali: "Men have extramarital sex as wives neglect duty"

Normally, I will read the Malaysian tabloids with a pinch of salt. But on Friday, I tried so many other 'seasoning' yet the news still came to me in a rather disgusting, annoying and furious way!! Click on the picture above to read the full article for yourself. Basically, the interview was with a fellow MP who claimed that "Malaysian men have extramarital sex because of 'wives who neglect their responsibilities to their husbands' " That quote in itself could make you upset, yes? Well, when I first read it I didn't expect it to be in a sexual way. I thought what he meant was wives were not fulfilling their husband's needs in so many other ways. As soon as I read further on the article, I got upset and couldn't believe what I was reading.

For starter, this person being interviewed is a Member of Parliament (MP). One would expect MPs to come out with logical and rational statements, right? Personally, I felt his statements were rubbish and definitely uncalled for. In the interview he mentioned husbands driving home from work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges. However, wives being wives would prefer to cook rather than fulfill husband's sexual needs. Hence, husband find other people to satisfy their sexual urges. One word: SERIOUSLY?? I would love to know who he has been talking to or whose point of view is he speaking out loud from. Is it his own??? Well, he shouldn't be generalising this situation if his 'audience' is one of his own kind! I am sure there are many other reasons out there on why men have extramarital sex.

Furthermore, he had the cheek to ask the government's religious department to 'educate wives on their responsibilities.' Wow, shocking! I am all out for this 'education' because for argument's sake, those wives that were cooking definitely do not know of their rights and responsibilities in Islam. No where in Islam it states that women should be cooking for their husbands. So, since she was cooking, let's all blame it on her! Blegh.

These type of people make Islam sound like an alienated religion. They are the people who will make people think of negative things about Islam. What was he trying to prove? That Islam is a religion of SEX? If he really do want this 'educating' wives to go on, I think he's just being sexist. Shouldn't the husband get some educating as well?  For instance, couldn't the so called sexually aroused husband wait till the time is right to have sex with the wife? Isn't it obvious in the Quran that one should learn how to be patience? Here's an excerpt that I've managed to look up on patience/sabar in the Quran:

"And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not quarrel with one another lest you should lose courage and your power depart. Be STEADFAST; surely Allah is with those who remain steadfast." Surah Al-Anfal ayat 46
Just wondering though, what will happen during Ramadhan? Or even when the wives are having their monthly period? What will happen then?? Aren't we Mulims taught every once a year to be patience and one of it to resist ourselves from having sexual intercourse during the fasting period? Isn't this something we should try to apply regardless it being a month of Ramadhan or not?

I find it interesting also that he pointed out about man getting sexually aroused on their way back home. What is it that they saw on the roadside for them to have that 'sexual urges'? Let's take it from a more logical point, maybe he meant that there are 'pretty' workmates at the office and that is why they become somewhat aroused. Fair enough. But, instead of educating the wives, shouldn't they be educating the Husbands to lower their gaze?? Or if he really wants the ladies to learn something, shouldn't they be teaching the beauty of Hijab/covering themselves? I'm sure if one cover themselves up this 'sort of urges' won't happen, Insha'Allah.

Last but not least, since he mentioned about men going to 'private places' to fulfill their needs, then, they should really take action on closing these private places. Maybe this way it will teach the Husband to be patient? Husbands should know that their wives are not sex slaves! No doubt that wives duty is to obey the Husband but come on, is it everyday that the Husband comes home with this sexual urges? If that being the case, the Husband should seriously seek some help and no, I don't mean from private places but serious help!

Alright, even though I am quite annoyed with this particular MP, I think I should cut him some slacks and think that the media had quoted him wrongly. If that is the case, I think he should come out clean and apologise to the female society. His statement not only made him sound sexist but also made Islam sound like a very odd religion to be in. The beauty of Islam has definitely loss its face by the statements that he gave! Na'uzubillahiminzalik!
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To hijab or Not to hijab? That's the question....

Alhamdulillah! I love looking at pictures of my friends that are finally hijabi-fied! Heheh Somehow, I have always befriend girls that don't wear hijab. You see, I have been wearing the headscarf since I was probably 9 or 10 years old. Reason I say headscarf is because at that time I wasn't covering myself up as a true hijabi, if that makes any sense. I was the girl who wears headscarf with short sleeved top/skin tight attire. When I was in high school, I tried to loosen and lengthen my clothing. I started wearing headscarf because my Mom had trained me to do so. Even when I was in primary school she made sure I wore kurung and headscarf. After school, I was reminded to donned the headscarf when I want to go out and play with my friends even if it was in front of our house. Alhamdulillah, I am lucky to have my Mom to protect me since I was small. Even though I wasn't sure of why I was wearing it, I felt comfortable wearing it amongst my friends. They didn't judge me for my headscarf nor did I judge them for their 'free hair'.

Along the years, my Mom started educating me more about hijab. She taught me why girls have to cover themselves. Finally I understood the meaning of hijab for definite. I always thought to myself, why is it that girls do not wear hijab if it is 'wajib' upon us to wear it? I dare not ask any of my friends why they do not wear the hijab. I had friends who tried to wear the hijab but every now and then they'll go back to their 'free hair' days. Never did I have the guts to question their actions. To be honest, my close friends are mostly non hijabis however, our friendship still remained regardless of our appearances.

Recently when I was in Malaysia, my best friend asked me, "Iva, you have been wearing headscarf ever since I could remember. Why is it that you never forced/asked me to wear the headscarf too?" My answer to her was "Tasha, I believe that one fine day Allah will open your mind and heart when HE thinks you are ready to wear hijab. Maybe the reason you are my bestfriend is because HE wants you to see how my life as a hijabi has been so far and to learn from it. Personally, I don't even know how to advise you on wearing the hijab because I don't want to advise you the wrong way and put you off hijab straight away." As per the hadith narrated Abu Musa that when Allah's Messenger salallahualaihiwasalam sent him and Mu'adh bin Jabal to Yemen, he said to them, "Make things easy for the people(treat the people in the most agreeable easy way), and do not make things difficult for them, and give them glad tidings, and do not repel them(i.e TO MAKE THE PEOPLE HATE GOOD DEEDS AND TO RUN AWAY FROM ISLAM), and you should both work in cooperation and mutual understanding, obey each other." [Sahih Bukhari] She understood my point and agreed that she was not ready to wear the hijab yet. No doubt she's been thinking about it but she just doesn't feel fully ready to wear the hijab.

I've never looked or acted differently with people who don't wear the hijab. Personally, I know how hard it is to be a hijabi. Realise how I used headscarf at the beginning? This was because at that time I wasn't dressed as how we are asked to in the Al-Quran:

• "And enjoin believing women to cast down their looks and guard their private oarts and not reveal their adronment except that which is revealed of itself, and to draw their viels over their bosoms................"(Al-Nur:31) 
• O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outergarments (jilbabs) close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not molested. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-Ahzab:59)

Like I said, I was still wearing inappropriate clothing for a while even though I was already wearing a headscarf. So for a non hijabi who wants to become a hijabi, they really need to change a lot. For starters, they need to see if their wardrobe are fully hijab friendly ie; modest clothing. If not, they would have to revamp and start from scratch and this of course incurs money. But hey, if there's a will there's always a way, Insha'Allah.

The reason I have never asked my friends about hijab is because I don't feel I am ready to reason out with them at that time. I wouldn't want them to question me and they won't get the answer that they need. Alhamdulillah now that I know why and how important it is for us to wear the hijab, I welcome questions from anyone regarding hijab. I have had people asking me how I could possibly wear a hijab in Sunny Malaysia, but of course the most famous question is, why do I even have to wear hijab (this of course came from my friends in the UK). Since I have searched and been bombarded with these questions, I can finally answer them with confidence and not give the 'because my Mom asked me to and it states in the Quran'. I have also had experience on wearing it and befriend people who don't, I know what's the difference of being a hijabi and non hijabi have towards the society.

So, if any of you are thinking of wearing the hijab, first ask yourself, why are you wanting to wear it? How important it is to wear it? How would it affect your lifestyle if you were to wear it? Ask yourself or discuss with others if you are having doubts, Insha'Allah, HE will guide you through it once you have set your mind for it. I am sure most of us girls' are scared that we won't look pretty if we were to wear the hijab, again, keep asking yourself, would Allah-our own creator make us look like a fool/unpretty? If you yourself were to do anything, wouldn't you give the best output to it? Of course you would want people to be impressed with your good work, right? So again, would Allah, our creator want us to look ugly when HE has planned everything way carefully and perfectly?? The answer is, ABSOLUTELY NOT! Don't hesitate to ask questions. Talking and sharing your thoughts with others will Insha'Allah broaden your mind more. Don't just leave your thoughts to the side. In the end of the day, Allah swt will help you through it, regardless!

Why go FB hiatus?

Do you remember the time when Facebook had the word 'is' in its status update? Do you remember the time when 'giving drinks, poking,slapping etc etc' your friends on Facebook seems to be interesting? Do you remember the time when whatever you say on Facebook isn't being 'published' to all? Well I do and I miss those times.

I first joined FB when I was still in Uni, year 2008. That time it wasn't a big hit at all. Myspace was still the famous social networking site. Somewhere along the way everyone I know or used to know is on FB. I remember I had to explain to Iskandar what FB is all about. Since he's not into social networking websites, we decided to just share an account to add our family and friends. Until today, we are still sharing the same account. We don't find it a necessity to have separate accounts because I know his family and friends and he knows mine. Instead of adding on separate accounts we might as well do it on one. Sometimes people get confused as to who updates the status. Truth be told, Iskandar's only updated the status about once or twice, no joke!!

I'm so pleased that my husband doesn't care about this social networking because to me it's such a girl's thing. No doubt he still checks his friend's profile for updates which most of the time remains the same for monthss! Typical guys I tell ya! So he does go on FB once in awhile. I say FB is a girl's thing because majority of people who updates status on 'our' FB are girls. Almost 90% of the statuses are pure vanity and emotional outburst, I am definitely not kidding! Seeing these statuses made me look back at mine and think, is there really a necessity to share every single thing that I do?? I somehow felt embarrassed with most of my status updates and picture updates. It somehow just doesn't seem right to do it anymore. So that's why I took a break from FB, to reflect on myself and what I 'share' to the 'world'. 

The other thing that gets to me is how some status updates are pure lies! I say this because I know these people very much! Too much that when I read their status it will make me cringe and think, "why do you have to put on a façade on your status update/wall?!". It surely is saddening because people don't realise that what they write will one day be transcribed back to us. These words will be read back when we die. So, why pretend? The world that we are living in is temporary. Don't try to embarrass ourselves in the hereafter when everything is read back to us.

Facebook is evil to some point. No doubt it has its benefits and good points too! Sometimes, there are things that you are just not supposed to say out loud but you do. You don't know who you're hurting even if your intention was to just 'share'. I have decided that if I have nothing Islamic or family related to say, I will not share anything on my status updates. I don't share anything and everything about Islam, the things that I have never attempted to do in myself I will never share. Whenever I write these status updates I'm not bothered of how many 'likes' or 'comments' I get. I would rather people think about what is said on my status rather than just liking the status. I always have hopes that if people like my Islamic status they might act upon it. But Iskandar's told me to not put high hopes on that, because if Allah wants to give them 'hidayah' He will do no matter how obvious I have conveyed the message.

I always pray that Allah swt will always open our heart and mind to the right path. There's nothing worth talking about other than Allah and Islam. I have come to a point I can't speak to some people because of our differences in practising Islam. It's a shame, a true shame. But I never stopped praying that these people will get the hidayah from Allah swt.
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Camel hump or beehive Hijab? You choose.

Recently there has been an issue about wearing those "volumised" type of hijabs. I heard about this issue in Malaysia and I guess in the UK we are just about to catch up with the 'trend'. Before I start, let me just say that I have no intention on interpreting the Hadiths, as I am in no place to do so. However, I am just intrigued as to how people think about the said topic.

Ok, so let's talk about the "volumised hijab". People are getting conscious about this style because there is a Hadith that states: Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said. "I will not be a witness for two types of people who are destined for the Fire: people with whips, like the tails of cows, who beat the people (ie, tyrannical rulers who are the enmies of their own people), and women who, although clothed, are yet naked, seducing and being seduced, their hair styled like the tilted humps of camels. These will not enter the Garden nor will its fragrance even reach them, although its fragrance reaches a very great distance. (Reported by Muslim). There have been a few questions being raised regarding this hadith.

The famous question is, how big of the hump is considered too big/unacceptable??!

I have to say that internet has been the best source for getting information. We can get merely anything and everything from the internet. However, when it comes to Islamic topic that we are unsure of it's always BEST to seek the knowledge from a reputable scholar, if possible face-to-face or directly as we do not know who is behind those Usernames. Facebook can also be beneficial sometimes, but most of the time, it is rather evil. We could get infos that we need to know from some of the groups we've joined BUT are they infos we are sure to be valid or are they infos we have been WANTING to hear regardless of it being right or wrong? The info we get might not be true but since that is what we want to hear, we will take it all in and claim it to be very sufficient and precise explanation.

So back to the hijab question, personally to me, people should not raise question about the size of the hump. It states in the hadith as "humps of camel" but why make ourselves confused as to the size of the hump? Why not go further down the line and find out how wrong it is to adorn such style? The real question is, WHY risk it???! Why would one go to an extent of beautifying themselves but at the same time is not sure of what is the proper Islamic/Halal way to do it?

When it comes to Hadiths, we cannot just pick and choose what suits us. We have to read other Hadiths to be sure of what is being said. There are Hadiths about doubtfulness. Why not seek those type of Hadith while we are at it. For instance, in this discussed topic, the people who were discussing the topic have not consulted any scholars opinion as to the size of it hence, they are still in doubt about the size of the hump. Here are a few Hadiths about being in doubt:

On the authority of Al-Hasan bin Ali, the grandson of the messenger of Allah, who said : I memorized from the messenger of Allah his saying :"Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : The messenger of Allah said :"Part of someone's being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : the messenger of Allah said :"Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah has commanded the faithful to do that which he commanded the messengers, and the Almighty has said: "O ye messengers ! Eat of the good things and do right". And Allah the Almighty has said : "O ye who believe! Eat of the good things where with We have provided you" Then he mentioned [the case of] a man who, having journeyed far, is dishevelled and dusty and who spreads out his hands to the sky [saying] : "O Lord! O Lord!" - while his food is unlawful, his drink unlawful, his clothing unlawful, and he is nourished unlawfully, so how can he be answered !" related by Muslim.

This topic was raised in one of the "fashion" hijab Facebook group. What annoyed me most is not that this topic was being discussed, but instead, people are promoting a video to make this "hump" not so camel-like, apparently small enough to be acceptable. How sure are they that this is the "perfect size"? I don't get annoyed easily but when people use Islam as a shield to make everything possible, then I get annoyed and furious. The thing that was really annoying is not about the question of the "hump" itself, I don't mind the question. It's good to know that people are asking questions before commiting to do something. I don't mind if it was their natural hair that created this "acceptable hump" either but..... The worse part of it was that, there are people who is making Youtube videos teaching people to use fake flower clips to make this volumised look!!! What is the necessity to this if I may ask?

Sometimes there are a few people who would come out with such discussions because they want to know what the fatwaa says about so and so. But to me, in the end of the day, it is your TAQWA (self-restraint) that should be taken into consirderation. If you feel the doubt and don't feel confident, then ask yourself.....

Why do you NEED to commit into such a thing?
How do u FEEL when you do it?
How do you feel when you know forbidden things have been stated in the Quran and Hadith and yet you're still doing it?
Also, since many of us are not sure how big this hump is supposed to be, why not just do a normal Hijab style?
Why do things that are of a grey area and jeopradise ourselves in the Hereafter?

Sorry for the bit of rant but I think Fashion and Islam just do not go along together. No doubt we are meant to look great and presentable but to an extent of risking ones good deeds? There was an interpretation about the hadith that I find rather clear and would like to share it here. Ru’oosahunna ka asnimat il-bukht (translated here as “with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels”), this may mean that they make their heads look bigger with veils and turbans, which are wrapped around the head, so that they look like the humps of camels. This is the well-known interpretation. Al-Maaziri said: it may be that what is meant is that they will not lower their gaze in the presence of men, rather they will look directly at them. Allah knows best. Iskandar pointed out to me that with those big huge hijab/hair, it would be difficult to carry the weight forward therefore the head would be tilted too far back (see picture above) and it's difficult and doesn't feel natural to tilt the head downwards to lower the gaze. So, this brings us to an ayah "Allah does not love any proud boaster". (57:23) Also a hadith agreed upon by Bukhari and Muslim, The Prophet (peace be on him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride."

If you have extra time, do read up Iskandar's blog about dressing moderately. Insha'Allah it will be beneficial info.

May we guide each other to the righteous path, Insha'Allah. Choose wisely not randomly, as ALLAH knows what's best for us.

You're not very hijabi, are you? OUCH!!!

I have been joining a few Facebook groups to do with "fashion hijabs" lately. Some of the groups are truly inspiring as to how their styles are Islamic and 'Halal'. Yes, you'd presume when it's Islamic it has to be Halal too, right? However, nowadays people claim so many things to be 'Halal' and yet when we do thorough research, it's not as Halal as it is claimed to be. I'm not talking about food but more to "fashion" and clothing. The word Halal has been thrown around aimlessly in the beauty world just to attract Muslim women. There is also 'Halal' make-ups being introduced. Question is, how is there such a thing as Halal make ups? Could they only mean the ingredients? As far as my knowledge goes, I am sure it is not permissible for Muslim women to wear make ups in public. So when the word 'halal' is being used, I would instantly think "OH! It's Halal to wear make ups!" That is where the confusion begins which will accumulate our sins.

I haven't been a true hijabi myself. No doubt I used to wear skinny jeans, almost tight fitting tops and etc etc. Until one point when I was in town an 'Alim' brother stopped me and said "Salaam Sister, could I just give you some advice?" That instant, I knew what it was going to be about but hesitantly I said "yes, go on then." The Alim brother started telling me hijab is not only about covering your hair, it's about dressing modestly etc etc. You know the typical statements you hear even after years of being a hijabi! I just nodded and thanked him for the advice. I walked away feeling so furious and thought, "how dare he stopped me and started preaching all those stuff?! Isn't there an ayah in the Quran that he should be lowering his gaze or something like that??!" And yes, there is. "(O Prophet), Enjoin believing men to cast down their looks and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is well aware of all what they do." Surah al-Nur verse 30.

I got home and told Iskandar about it, of course he felt uncomfortable but not towards what the Alim has advised but instead for letting me go out in that attire. Time and again Iskandar has told me to dress loosely but I take it very lightly. Iskandar doesn't wanna repeat himself over and over again since if I don't commit to it, I'm just committing sins. So, in a way he was glad someone else stopped me and told me off, because sometimes it just take another to make me realise. Alhamdulillah, that person has made me realise how wrong I have been dressing all along. About the ayah I mentioned above, well, apparently we ladies we just want to read and know what we want to know! True enough. If we read further that ayah, there's another advice for us ladies.. “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” Surah Al-Nur verse 31

After reading that, I questioned myself "should I be angry with that person for advising me?" Indeed he has to lower his gaze but have I done my part and dressed modestly? He might have lowered his gaze but the way I was dressing was rather appealing and made him want to say or do things to me. So, it is partly my fault for inviting him to look at me. Ever since then, I have tried my very best to wear loose skirts and if I do wear jeans, to make sure my top covers most of my revealing parts. It was hard at first, but Alhamdulillah. I have managed to do it.

I will write another entry about our common practice/mistakes where we pick and choose our "knowledge" just to suit our lifestyle, Insha'Allah.

Keropok Lekor; Made in Leicester

The Husband's been having some very 'extravagant' cravings lately. As you all might already know, I don't really cook. I only cook when I feel like it and it's mostly easy peasy lemon squeezy dishes. But somehow, on Ramadhan I love to cook and try new things. I think it's because I have all day to do it, so I don't have to rush. Also, I believe that people will be famished from fasting so, no matter how bad my cooking is they will still think it's the best food ever! :D

Right, so what are his cravings..... so far?
1) Kuih Cara
2) Cucur Ikan Bilis
3) KEROPOK LEKOR!!!! (Apparently it's mackerel crackers on google)
I didn't mind the first 2 cravings as it was a bit straight forward.Even though, I had an accident whilst frying cucur ikan bilis; that's a different story altogether.

Let's talk about his craving for keropok lekor. One day when my Mommy was cooking dinner, he said "it smells like keropok lekor downstairs". Suddenly he felt like having keropok lekor :| So, he started google-ing for keropok lekor recipes. Thankfully we found one that was easy to make!! Without further delay, well, actually the next day we went out to buy the ingredients and started making keropok lekor! Never in my life have I ever imagined myself making keropok lekor from scratch. But wow, yesterday marked history on Iva's cooking book. Hehehe

Below are the pics of my accomplishment. I don't normally take pics of the things I cook but this time I just had to take pics! For a first timer, I think I did quite good. SubhanAllah! Personally, my idea of successful cooking is when the food appears good in pictures! Let the picture do justice, but seriously, how good is that?! As for the taste, well, everyone was fasting so obviously it's goooooooodddd! Also, we didn't have any other choices so they had to settle with my cooking. Hehehe

Alhamdulillah, I'm so thankful for being blessed with such luxury in life.

Again, if any of you want any of the recipe, don't hesitate to message me yeah.

Have a blessed Ramadhan.

First day of Ramadhan 1431

Time is like a river,
You can never touch the same water in a flowing river twice,
The flow that has passed will never pass again,
Therefore make the best of the time that Allah has given us during this Blessed month, Insha'Allah
(Mom received this forwarded SMS and I think it's a real good one)

Alhamdulillah!! First day of Ramadhan went smooth sailing. Managed to do tadarus Al-Quran with Mom, Dad, Hubby and Nephew in spite of Khairaldin roaming around the room and bumping into things to distract all of us. But Alhamdulillah, he's such an understanding baby.

I planned to do as much good deeds this Ramadhan as I feel it's a waste not to take this opportunity given to us once a year. There are many ways one can choose to change and maximise oneself. First and foremost, try not to go beyond what our Imaan could handle. For example, if we hardly sit down and read the Quran regularly, try not to go to an extreme of wanting to khatam this Ramadhan. Not that you can't, but if you have family to care for, they will also need your attention, yes? So it could be rather stressful trying to entertain the family and at the same time trying to read the Quran. If you can, by all means go ahead. I for one read really slowly so it could take longer than a month for me to khatam.

So, here are a few things I would like to share with all of you that I have chosen to do this Ramadhan, Insha'Allah. May it be beneficial to everyone of you too, Insha'Allah.

1) To read the Al-Quran starting with the short surah
2) Read du'as in everything I do
3) Abstain from Facebook as much as I can

• "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say [something] good, or he should keep silent." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah](will write an entry on this, Insha'Allah)

4) Eat sahur
5) Pray terawikh, at least 8 + 3 witir daily
6) Pray tahajud & hajat after Sahur
7) Eat reasonably during break fast
8) Try very very hard not to gossip

• "O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." Qur'an, [49:12]

9) Spend as much time with beloved family
10) Enjoy Ramadhan as much as I can

Insha'Allah, Ramadhan is just a starting point for me. If I am able to do all this during the month of Ramadhan, Insha'Allah it's possible to carry on even after that.

So, how was your Ramadhan? Do share on what you have planned this Ramadhan as Insha'Allah it would be beneficial for every one of us too. May we gain knowledge everyday of our life. Insha'Allah.

Ramadhan Mubarak.

Ramadhan Kareem! Insha'Allah.

Ramadhan Mubarak my dear brothers and sisters in Islam!! ALHAMDULILLAH, I am thankful that Allah has given me another chance to experience Ramadhan. Last year was easier for me as Khairaldin was only 3 months old so most of the time he only sleeps, sleeps and sleeps. I'm sure it'll be harder this year as he's more aware and active. So, I will try and take the opportunity to do more whilst he is sleeping. Please remember me in you du'as. Insha'Allah I will do the same for all of you out there. :)

My only advise to myself and all, please do not only fast and miss out on prayers. There is no point of fasting if we still do not pray as the whole point of fasting is to get closer to our Creator, Allah subhanahu wa taala. It saddens me everytime I see those who doesn't pray as I think "what will happen to us when we leave this world??!" But Alhamdulillah, Allah swt have given us this chance to start over and Insha'Allah be a better Ummah. Let us all not waste time and take this opportunity to do more!! If not this Ramadhan, when else? Are we sure we will witness another Ramadhan? Let's assume this will be the last Ramadhan for us all. Ramadhan Kareem!!!!!

On a slightly different note, I received a note from my niece yesterday about fasting. It's just too cute what she wrote that I have to share it on here. After all, she said not to lose the note and I guess this is the best way to keep it, yes? :D

"Hi Aunti Iva. Thank you for the note. I hope you will handle fast. I'm sure you will. By the way, I really love that note. I hope you keep this note. Anyway are you sure you can handle it bress feeding a baby? I hope you do :) Anyway back to fasting. I can't wait until tomorrow because we are all fasting. Love from Ainur <3 lots of love :) XXX"

**I find it amusing how she actually asked me about if I can handle breastfeeding and fasting. I'm glad she's aware of this at such a young age :)

Part 2: Ramadhan and breastfeeding (or pregnant) Mommies

Alright, since we now know that different scholars and circumstances have different views about fasting while breastfeeding (or pregnant), let's continue reading if you have made your choice to fast this year regardless of your situation.

Here are my personal reasons as to why I chose to fast last Ramadhan even though it was a long day (16 hours) and also the fact I was a newly nursing Mommy:

1) I think Ramadhan is such a spiritual and blessed month that everything is just possible to be achieved in that month.
2) I definitely won't be able to pay back my 29/30 days within a year because I was planning to breastfeed Khairaldin till he's 2 years old.
3) Since Iskandar is working part time and I am not working, it'll be a struggle for us to pay Fidyah as we have enough income just for the family.
4) I was only nursing one baby, so I was convinced it's doable.
5) If I don't fast, I would then have to get my meal ready all by myself and at the same time take care of a 3 months old baby, that's tough!

Seeing my pros outweighs my cons, I then decided to fast! Here are the tips that got me through fasting the whole month (except for 7 days period):

Mental preparation.
I live my life with this quote from a Hadith: "Acts are valued in accodance with their undelying intention" (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim). Basically, this means that whatever your intention is, Insha'Allah you will be able to do the things you have intended to do. Furthermore, believing in it is the key to success!

1) I kept reminding myself my intention (Niat) on wanting to fast. Which was to be closer to Him and to grab as much reward (pahala) as possible in the Holy month.
2) I believed that Allah would not put burden on me if I could not bear it. As mentioned in Surah Baqarah verse 286: "Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. In his favour shall be whatever good each one does, and against him whatever evil does." In the Surah there is also a prayer "Our Lord! Take us not to task if we forget or commit mistakes. Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden such as You laid on those gone before us. Our Lord! Lay not on us burdens which we do not have the power to bear. And overlook our faults, and forgive us, and have mercy upon us. You are our Guardian; so grant us victory against the unbelieving folk." Amin. It's best to read this after each prayer. Insha'Allah, He will help us through it all.
3)Believe, believe and keep beleiving that He is there to help us. Ask for guidance from Him as that is the only ONE that would undestand us and really, that could help us!

Physical preparation
Of course we can't only leave it in God's hand (tawakkal) to let everything fall into place. That is just unfair. We also have to find a way (ikthiar) to get through the day. So, what did I do?

1) During Sahur, I made sure that I snack on lots and lots of dates (kurma) as it gives lot of energy which will be needed during the day.
2) Drank lots and lots of water! I try to have at least 1 litre during Sahur and 1litre during break fast and keep drinking in between break fast and Sahur.
3) I'm not a rice (or anything heavy) person for Sahur, I just can't consume rice at such early hours. So, I choose to eat cereals instead. Be it Weetabix, Quaker Oats, Nestum etc etc.
4) Make sure you don't over eat to "stock up" for the baby as this in turn will only make you feel lethargic.

Spiritual preparation
To be honest, I wanted to do Tadarus Al-Quran with my family but that was highly impossible because Khairaldin's routine was still haywire.
1) Do not miss any prayers!! Prayers are like your "food" during Ramadhan. If you don't pray, there's no point making yourself hungry.

These are the only steps I took during last Ramadhan and also during this year's puasa ganti. There will be a change with the baby's drinking routine, no doubt. Like Khairaldin, before fasting month he drank every 4 hourly but during fasting month, he drank 3 hourly. However, since now he's on solids, he only drinks about 3 times a day. Insha'Allah it'll be easier for me this year than last.

Having said all that, every baby and Mommy is different!! Khairaldin might not be a fussy eater so he might be easier to please. Give it a try for a few days and see how your baby's routine change. If you can't handle it, try to at least fast every other day so that the baby have a break as well. But Insha'Allah, the milk production will not stop even when you are fasting. Allah is fair! There's a reason why he wants us to fast. Since I am a SAHM, it's also easier for me to attend to Khairaldin whenever he wants his milk. It's definitely tougher for working Moms as I know EBM can be tiring mentally and physically. But hey, if your intention is good then INSHA'ALLAH! :)

That's it from me for now. Do not hesitate to ask correct me or ask me questions if I have not covered your query. If any Mommies have any other tips that have helped them through Ramadhan, again, please do share with us!

All the best Mommies!! Hope you will all have a blessed and easy Ramadhan even with the Li'l One, ameen!