For once, I feel like I'm doing something right :)

Idle parenting.

Source : Telegraph.co.uk

I could not help nodding my head at each and every paragraph. Yes yes I know, Khairaldin's my first baby and I have no say in parenting advices as I've not yet passed the "troublesome" stage. But hey, didn't Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself". So yeah, I've managed to learn about parenting skills from people in my life. I've taken some good and bad point about each parenting and I can personally agree that Idle Parenting is the way I'm going :)

Read on to understand why I am leaning towards 'that' side. Here's some paragraphs I've quoted from the article.

The idle parent is a stay-at-home parent. Not for us costly leisure pursuits at the weekend. We reject the cheap thrills of expensive padded plastic fun palaces, zoos and days out in general. We find fun in our own backyards. We make aeroplanes out of cereal packets and it's amazing how many catching and tickling games you can play with your kids while sitting on the sofa.

The idle parent is a thrifty parent. We don't work too hard and therefore we can't expect to be rolling in cash. With thrift comes creativity. "Waste is unpoetic, thrift is creative," as GK Chesterton wrote. With no money, you start to discover your own inner resources. You make things and draw. Put a pile of A4 paper on the kitchen table, along with a stapler, scissors, crayons and glue, and you'll be amazed at what your children come up with. Forget digital gewgaws. Go analogue. It's more fun and a lot cheaper. Put a bird feeder outside the kitchen window. Fun does not need to be expensive.

We don't care about status and career advancement and how we are perceived by others. We are free of all of that rubbish. We simply want to enjoy our lives and to give our children a happy childhood. What greater gift could there be from a parent? If our children tell their friends in later life that they enjoyed their childhood, I would count that as a great achievement. Better to have a happy childhood than a high-achieving one that brings a big psychiatrist's bill in adult life.

Idle parents are sociable. We recognise the importance of friends. They lighten the burden. A myth of modern society is the idea that "you're on your own in this world". Instead of talking to friends and neighbours, anxious people seek advice in books, websites and internet forums. We resist asking for help or admitting weakness. Be weak! Give up! You can't do everything. Lower your standards. Get friends to help you. Organise little nurseries at your house where parents can chat and kids can play while you ignore them.

And here's my DONE and SATISFIED list :-

Manifesto of the idle parent

• We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
• We pledge to leave our children alone
• That should mean that they leave us alone, too
• We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
• We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals (I don't agree with this as much)
  
• We drink alcohol without guilt
• We reject the inner Puritan
• We fill the house with music and laughter
• We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
• We lie in bed for as long as possible
• We try not to interfere
• We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
• We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
• Time is more important than money
• Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
• Down with school
• We fill the house with music and merriment

So, what's your views?

The full time SAHM & The part time SAHD (STAY AT HOME DAD)

Khairaldin, you're lucky to have your Mommy & Abah with you almost 24-7.

I used to work my arse off before I got married. I was studying and working at the same time. It wasn't all that nice but thanks to my ever so friendly colleagues that makes me want to go to work on the weekends. When I got married, I used to study and work 2 jobs. I had no reason for doing it but I'm the kind of person that couldn't tender my resignation easily. Suffice to say, I'm not a quitter. That's why I hate to start new hobbies because once I'm hooked, that's IT! hehe So, after being in my 2nd job for quite a while, I then decided to tender my resignation because the 2nd job was more to what my degree was about (BSc Psychology). I was then a nurse for the old folks but I mostly cared for their social and psychological well being. Sometimes I do have to care for their physical wellbeing too. When I quitted my first job (Cashier at Sainsbury's) my brother decided to hand in my CV at his workplace which dealt with Customer Service. I then decided to give it a go thinking that I won't get the job. Alhamdulillah, the evening after my interview, the Manager called to say that I've been accepted and will have to start the next week. Since this was a fulltime job, I had to give up my job as a nurse. The nursing job was so tiring that whenever I get back from work it's straight to bed and no time for Hubby. He obviously didn't like that ;-)

So, I had to go through a 6 months probation period as a Cutomer Service. Everything went well throughout the time I was there and on my 3rd month, I was pregnant (they say you get pregnant easily when you're more relaxed). Obviously when I found out I was pregnant I was scared that they won't confirm my place because Maternity leave could last up to 1 year. Which employer would want their employee off that long?? But I didn't mind it at all, I still continued my service and, on my final month of probation, I wanted to fill in the form for my Maternity leave as they have to know how long I'm going on leave for. When I saw the HR, they said that my Manager needs a word with me. So then I waited for a few days to see my Manager. When she finally decided to meet me, she told me that they are NOT renewing my contract due to the financial crisis. So they had to in a way made me "redundant". Of course I cried because I didn't expect it at all. Being about 4 months pregnant all you could think of is, how am I gonna support this baby??????

I had no choice but to leave the company. My Mom was in Malaysia at that time and I called her to tell her that I've been made redundant. On that month as well, both Iskandar and I have decided to live on our own. We have just rented out a place about a month or so. But since the contract was under my name and I didn't have a job, I had to give up the house. Alhamdulillah I had my parents house to turn to. My parents are in the UK every 6 months, we have decided to take care of the house for them whenever they are away. My Mom & Dad was against us renting our own place when we very first decided to do so. I guess I should've listened to them when they said "NO, stay with us and don't rent your own house". hehehe But we thought we were 'adult' enough to decide. Until today, I am still jobless (and not looking for any job) and living with my parents. Some may think that we are a bunch of youngsters who live under their parents allowance. I'd beg to differ.

I would never swap my "jobless" life for a "jobfull" one. Being a Stay At Home Mom was my dream job even before I had a baby. I knew that I would end up being a housewife and Mom once I got married. I don't know why, but I just had the feeling. When I told my Mom I was made redundant, she instantly said "Wasn't that what you prayed for? To be with you family & baby once you had one. Allah is just answering your prayers and making it easier for you because knowing you, you'd not tender your resignation when the time comes." And yes, she's right! I could never imagine being a working Mom. I'd always think about what my baby is up to.

When I was in high school, I used to be envious of those people who get scholarships. The only thing I could think of is that, "they'll have a job instantly!". But now, I'm glad I was "lazy" and didn't get any scholaships. Imagine having to work for that company for at least 10 years???? Woah! That's just not my forte. I'd be counting down the mins to be with my baby. :-| I always wanted to be a nursery teacher but somehow I took the wrong course. Long story short, my course is not a shortcut to becoming anursery teacher, at least in the UK it's not. I guess I can now start to become teacher to my own child(ren). I'm excited just thinking about it!

As for Iskandar, he's working part time in Primark. He was doing a 20hours contract until just recently. My Dad recommended him to do a Masters. So he's now doing Masters in Islamic Banking, Finance and Management. Since it's a full time education, he has to decrease his working hours. He's now only doing 4 hours on Saturdays.

I'm thankful for not marrying a high maintenance Hubby and I'm not one myself. My point is, no matter what job you're doing or not doing, you can live your life happily. It depends how you want to live it. If you want a big house with loads of cars or material things, then it only means you have to work for it. But in my case, I don't mind living in a medium sized house filled with lots of babies & my own children. That's the life I want to be living.

I always remember that "rezeki anak" is not only about how much money you have in bank. Even if your bank account is showing a (-) sign, that doesn't mean he'll not lead a happy life. Khairaldin's rezeki is having both his parents at home with him. He'll be rich with lots of love, hugs and kisses. That baby, is genuine love hugs and kisses which you can never buy even if you're the richest person on earth! We love you and will conitnuously make you happy. MWAH!