Favourite posts

Masha'Allah! I couldn't believe how known my blog is on google. As you can see I have added the 'favourite posts' widget. Never knew that people do google those topics and my posts are on the first page on google search engine. SubhanAllah. When I started this blog, I didn't think it could benefit others.Reason I started this blog was merely to jot down my memories with my kids. When they are older, Insha'Allah they have something to look back to (and also for myself).

But, who am I to know what my future will be? Alhamdulillah I am really pleased to know that my favourite posts are indeed those related to Islamic posts. Couldn't express how pleased I am. After all, it is in a hadith that we should share the knowledge we have as this deed will carry on even after we die. AllahuAkbar. This is just a post to say JazakAllahu Khairan Kathira to every single one of you who have stopped by to read my posts and thank you to all of you who have commented and e-mailed me personally. Please carry on sharing your knowledge with others too because you never know who could benefit from it. 

Alhamdulillah.

On a slightly different note, a big ALHAMDULILLAH because the kids now goes to bed at 7:30p.m and they go to sleep ON THEIR OWN. Iskandar and I will change them into their pajamas, read them their du'as and we leave them on their bed in their room. Of course we have the baby monitor on so we can know what they are up to. So far, it's been 2 weeks and they have been sleeping soundly straight after we leave their room. Iskandar and I now have 'our' time. Alhamdulillah. Since we are enjoying this time to ourselves, both of us have also reminded ourselves that we cannot get too comfortable as we are not stopping at two kids ;) It is nice to have this break but Insha'Allah I don't want it to be permanent break. I do miss the late/early morning feeds. I miss the hustle and bustle. Nevertheless, we are going to cherish what Allah has planned for us.

Alhamdulillah.   

ONE year later......

SubhanAllah! Our babycake turns the big ONE today!! Alhamdulillah shukur for having the chance to be with her 24-7, to breastfeed her until today and to basically just be there with her all the time. As years go by, there's only one thing I don't want to feel which is; regret. Family values doesn't seem to have its value anymore these days. You hear about people breaking relationship with their blood-related family like it's not a sin anymore. I don't want to witness all of this when my children are bigger, AMIN! I want them to know how much they love each other and how much they truly do care about each other from the day their sibling was born until today. However, there's only so much I can instill in my children's mind and that is why I am really thankful that I am here with them during their infant and toddler years. The years where they learn so many things and to know that they are looking and scrutinizing my every move make me wanna improve myself even more.

So Aizah Layina, remember that you are one of the lucky children to have your Mother and Brother with you during your first year. Abah didn't get the chance to be here as much as he'd love to but believe me, it is all for our family's own good. When he gets back from work, he will always pick you up and play with you, that is your Abah's love for you and your brother. Alhamduillah! Babycakes, remember that you will always be our baby no matter what. We love you so much and really grateful that Allah gave us the chance to love and care for you. Alhamdulillah shukur. Last but definitely not least, Mommy and Abah will constantly pray for your well being in this dunya and akhirah. We will always want the best for you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I always will! There will come a time when you will disagree with me and we might end up fighting but dear, just remember I am your Mother and what I have gone through to bring you up until today. Again, I love you Sayang and I always do. :')

I have a problem. I need to talk.

Isn't it true that we've been brought up in a society to always "share your feelings"? Heck, even on FB it asks "what's on your mind?" and when you're done, you'll be clicking the "share" button. Right? So yeah. Whenever we have something on our mind we don't hesitate to share with others. After all, that's how we've been brought up. People will always advice you to talk to someone if you have a problem, you'd feel better after that. No doubt in that.

Sometimes, when I'm at my lowest point, I'd constantly go thru my Facebook friend list or BBM list to look for a non-judgemental person and a trustworthy one. I would go back and forth until a point I just don't know what I'm doing. One day, it got me thinking.. such person does not exist. Never! Even if they do, at least not on my friends list. haha It's veryyyyyyyyy rare to find that one person who could tell you the truth without hurting you even more. Of course at this point you're asking, why not just talk to your husband? Oh yes, I do talk to my Hubby. But in his eyes, I am almost perfect. How can I not be when I've got tears and sadness in my eyes? Would he dare to turn around and say, "it's your fault!" Hahaha He knows what will definitely happen next. So at times it's difficult to trust him as he wants the best for me. After I've calmed down he will then reason out with me rationally. I don't do rational thinking at my lowest point :)

I'm thankful for the people that has brought me down to my lowest point. It has only opened my eyes and heart about the life I have been leading. Like I said, we are told to share our problems. But what people forget to say is "don't share it with human beings!". Just imagine, when you are carrying a bag full of items and you need to stop because you're tired but at the same time you want to continue your journey. What would you do? You'd find a person to help you carry the load whilst you take a breather. So, what if this person you pass your load onto is a weak person? Of course they could not carry the load for long. They then pass it on to another person and it carries on.

It's same with problems. You tell a person about it and EXPECT that person not to tell anyone. But this person might not have that strong willpower to keep it to him/herself. It then spills to another and carries on. This is how gossips and backbiting happens. You don't mean to do it but you have your own problem to deal with on top of another being load on you. So the cycle begins. One story passed to another and another. At this point, think, would that story remain as how it is? Of course not! Everyone have their own imaginations. People tend to reconstruct what is being said or told to them according to their own experience. Story becomes distorted, people become upset. We are all human beings. We make mistakes but the best are those who repent and not make the same mistake again.

What do you do then when you have problems and really in need of someone to talk to? This is obvious but definitely the last choice we would take. TALK TO ALLAH/God. HE will definitely not judge you! HE even have the solution to your problems. So why speak to others? Why spill every single thing to others? Here's another thing, talking to ALLAH is FREE! You don't need to pick up the phone to let off your steam. HE is there with you all the time. When you speak to HIM, the conversation is safe with him. It can never be spilled. So, choose HIM first before others.

For Khairaldin and Layina, my advise to you is to choose Allah first before confiding onto anyone about your sorrows. If you want to confide in Mommy/Abah, please do so. But you have to know, your story will not be safe with us. You are our children, and if you are hurt, we will all be. Please, talk to Allah if you need to let go of your stressful or happy days. Tell Allah everything. If you were to tell Mommy, the story will get to Abah or even your Uncles and Aunties. If you tell your friends, the story might just spill when they come over our house or even when I fetch you from school. ;) My point here is, your story can never be 'safe' with a human being. If you really want it to be a secret, then keep it to yourself. If you can't, take sometime on the prayer mat and just converse with Allah. HE is there. HE is waiting for you to talk to HIM. There's nothing to lose.

Mommy and Abah are currently striving to do just that. We will Insha'Allah guide and help you through it when the day comes. Here's a quote Mommy recently came across:

Don't trust anyone because even your shadow leaves you in the dark!

There you go. Allah knows best, your solution is there with HIM.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

THEY'RE OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!!!!

because HE had an affair! Meh.

How many times have you heard of such marriage break ups? I've heard it one too many times! Which has made me think.....

Who do we blame when a marriage ends because of the GUY having an affair? Of course we blame the guy instantly! I mean come on, he's having an affair!!! How bad is that? There's no justification on his side as to why he had the affair. But hang on a minute. Do we stop to ask the guys their reasons for the divorce? Of course we don't. I mean, why should we?? He's made an offence so why should we listen to what he's got to say. Right?

Wrong!

If one is really concerned about someone's divorce, they would take the initiative to listen to both sides of the story. Of course both stories will differ tremendously because there is something that either party wouldn't want to disclose. So, what do "we" do next? We start judging from our own perspective because we've heard it all. I mean, that's what we do best right? We have seen it all in Law & Order, CSI etc etc. After we've heard both parties' story, we, the Jury, will sit down, discuss and give our final thought as to who is at fault. Unfortunately, that's absolutely NOT how our life should be! Even in Hudud law, four PIOUS witnesses have to come upfront and admit that they have witnessed such adultery in PERFECT DETAIL, IF, by any chance their statements do not satisfy the requirements, they (the witnesses) can be sentenced to eighty lashes for unfounded accusation of fornication. That is how bad assumptions and suspisions are perceived in Islam. We as human beings are not given the chance to judge another person.... at all! Judgement day is there for a reason. It's stated in Surah Al-Fatihah verse 3- Maaliki yawmi-d-Deen; MASTER of the Day of Judgement. It's ALLAH's 'job' to put us on the spot and judge the good and bad we have done in our life. Even if we've heard both sides of the story, do you think we can be unbiased? Of course we can't. Especially if we have experienced it before.

Before I got married to Iskandar, I've always told him. If you wanna have 2 or 3 or 4 wives, carry on. As long as you can fulfill all the requirements that you're supposed to. Yes, I am frank when it comes to serious things like this. There must be a reason why ALLAH allow men to marry 4. I have never believed that affairs happen BECAUSE the guy is unfaithful. I believe that it takes two to tango, so it takes two to break a marriage too. There must be a solid reason behind an affair. My Mom always tells me, some people just HAVE to marry 2 or 3 or 4 because there are things in their life that they need to be fulfilled but with one wife, it's not possible to be fulfilled (for example, one wife is only just good at cooking and the other maybe sewing). There must be a reason why ALLAH has matched them together. My Mom has always 'encouraged' polygyny if it has to happen.

So, back to affairs. Why is it always the guys that gets the blame? It's simply because they have higher sexual urges than girls (that's a fact!). Then, of course guys will get blamed regardless of their story. But! Doesn't this mean that there is something that the ladies aren't doing to please the man? This is why I say it takes two to break a marriage. We can NEVER pin point a person for their wrongdoings because we don't know what happen or doesn't happen behind CLOSED DOORS. Why are we so quick at judging the guys for being the bad one? From my point of view, affairs happen because the wives aren't fulfilling their responsible as a wife. It's as simple as that. I'm not only blaming the wife, it's silly for the guy to have an affair but I'm just saying... It takes two to tango! Simple as that. We have no knowledge to just point a finger to one person and look bad on that person because he had an affair.

Ok, let's turn the table for a moment. If a girl has an affair, who would you blame? I'm sure there must be some amongst you that will say "HE deserves it for not treating the wife correctly." "HE deserves it for not showering the wife with lots of love and happiness". Am I right or am I right? Wouldn't the blame still be on the guy? Yes, it will still be. Only because we have been brought up with a mindset that girls are to be showered with lots of love and DIAMONDS! If they're not, they will never be happy. So, who's to be blamed for not showering all this? THE GUYS!!!

We have been brought up with a mindset and society that girls are sensitive and guys are HEARTLESS! No matter what guys try to do, they get the blame. It's just like when a wife gets beaten up, the guys will get the blame because he's just not supposed to hit his wife. It's wrong to smack a lady because they're fragile. But when a lady beats up a man.. it's okay because she can't express it any other way. How is that fair? Yes it's not fair! It can never be fair. That is why ALLAH swt has made it easy on us to not judge another person because we can NEVER be fair! It's not wrong to be concerned for one party, but it is wrong when ties are broken in the whole process. People tend to be emotionally involved till they forget their own flesh and blood.

Even worse when the divorce has finalised and the guy is going out with the so called "affair lady". People without hesitation make a judgement that YES!!! THE AFFAIR WAS TRUE AFTER ALL. Hang on a sec, couldn't it be because that so called "affair lady" has always been there throughout the whole process and has been his 'friend' throughout the downfall? So, it is only right for her to be in the picture and comforting him from his divorce. No? But, most important of all, isn't it ALLAH that has brought them together? Isn't this what they call fate? Just because it's not a fairytale like fate, doesn't mean it couldn't happen. It is all ALLAH's plan. Whether we like it or not. HE, the Almighty has planned it out perfectly for us. So, who are we to Judge that "It's WRONG for him to go out with the so called "affair lady""?

So, let's take a step back if we've gone too far. Let's think in a positive way. Everything happens for a reason. Only ALLAH swt knows the reason behind it. Marriage, affairs, divorce etc, is beyond our control. It's ALLAH's way to show that HE is in control. Doesn't mean you have a perfect marriage, your marriage can never break up. If ALLAH wills it, you have no say! Everything is in ALLAH's hand. Let's think about it, if we are upset with the person's "affair" or divorce, doesn't it ONLY mean that we are upset with ALLAH's decision?? Think about it. And from a cousin's quote: The Mind can be controlled to shift from a Negative state to a Positive one. Just find something Positive to do. Your Mind will follow next. So, think about it in a Positive way and throw out all the Negative views that we have been brought up with from Movies or Dramas etc. Insha'Allah, may we look at things more clearly and not make a 'judge' out of ourselves. Judgement day will come, so let's just be prepared for that day and leave the judging 'work' to ALLAH swt. Don't waste our precious time too engrossed with other people's affair (pun intended ;-).

May we have more barakah in this life, Insha'Allah. AMIN!!

I will also leave this few Hadiths, Insha'Allah. May we Ponder upon it. :-)

Hadith : Bukhari and Muslim

The Messenger of Allah salallahualaihiwasalam said: " Beware of suspicion, for suspicion (may be based on) the most untrue information; and do not spy upon one another and do not try to bare each other's hidden failings."

"O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah: For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." (surah al-hujuraat verse 12)

"Behold, ye received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things of which ye had no knowledge; and ye thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of Allah." (surah al-noor verse 15)

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah : "Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery.  A man may commit adultery, and drink, and then repent, and Allah will forgive him.  But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

From The Royal Wedding to divorce?????

Yes yes, I KNOW the divorce "news" on Will & Kate is just a rumour. But this entry is somehow inspired by them :)

 Source: Google.com

Alhamdulillah, in my 4 years of marriage, I've heard of so many family and friends getting hitched. It's such a wonderful news. I love marriages! I tear up during every 'akad nikah' (solemnisation) that I have attended (thankfully not that many! Haha), obviously it is tears of happiness. It's such a wonderful event to witness. The families grow bigger, stronger and livelier with their new additions!! Lovely!

Like most of you ladies, I also "attended" The Royal Wedding....from the comfort of my living room, that is. :) Truth be told, I wasn't hyped up about The Royal Wedding prior to it. I thought, meh, I don't even 'know' them to actually look forward to their wedding that much. Somehow, when I switched on the TV and watched the VVVVVIP's arrival, I was so excited about the whole event. Even though it was recorded, I still watched the whole event till the end. I guess what got to me was how 'huge' the wedding was. I was more excited about the people who camped out for The Wedding rather than The Couple. I wasn't that hyped up about the dress/shoes/tiara she will be wearing, I mean it's a Royal Wedding of course she'll be all Princess-like. I was just excited because it was well, a wedding, really.

Source: FashionValet.net

So, as I was watching The Royal Wedding, I kept thinking to myself "why are people so hyped up about this wedding?" I have friends, which are Malaysians by the way, counted down for the wedding. It was fairly reasonable if the Brits were to do it since The Couple will be their King and Queen one fine day. But why is the whole world so carried away about it?? As I was listening to the "reporters" during the wedding ceremony, they were all going on and on about how this is a fairytale wedding. Then it clicked to me, "Oh!!! Everyone (the ladies especially) could relate to this because we were brought up with this fairytale stories. Whereby a "commoner" (like us) will find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after. It's surreal but Kate Middleton showed the "World" that it is possible to live up to the dream. She showed the world that dreams really do come true if you truly believe in it".

Wow! Look at me, I sound like a Disney believer already! :p

Besides the point that we will one day find our Prince Charming, I feel that we have been brainwashed at such a young age on how weddings are supposed to be. In spite of all those wedding ceremonies that I have attended (real life or via Facebook), I have also heard of so many divorces, too many that I couldn't believe it myself. You know how marriages started with all fairytale and you just can't believe that divorces could happen! But reality check, divorces do happen despite of what religion you are.

So, why do people solve the disagreements in their marriage with divorce? There are one too many reasons on why divorce is the solution to this dissolution. No doubt Allah swt have advised us to not end our marriage with divorce. However, HE has also given us a thorough 'manual' on how to divorce if this is the only way out (refer Surah Al Talaq). Yes, Islam discourages divorce but it also recognises it.

When a couple have officially divorced, they are normally being looked at differently by society. To us, divorce is NEVER a solution. But who are we to judge? The Prophet (SalAllahualaihi Wassalam) is narrated to have said: To Allah, mighty is He and majestic, the most hateful of the halal is divorce. (Abu Dawud) So, if Allah the Almighty can accept divorce, why couldn't we?  Sometimes we tend to forget that our FATE to marry or divorce is in Allah's 'hand'. Why is it that we can be happy for newlyweds but when we hear of a divorce, we try to distant ourselves from the couple? This is definitely not the way of Islam. We have to believe that Allah is the only judge no matter what.

Without a doubt, marriages do begin with lots of love and tranquillity. Somewhere along the line, something is bound to change. Kids (especially), carrier, money, boredom etc etc is a reason to why divorces happen. Allah said: If a couple do seperate, Allah will enrich each of them from His boundless wealth. Allah is All-Encompassing, All Wise. (Surah an-Nisa' 4:130) Nowadays, affair seems to be the top of the chart for divorce. Couples choose to settle their marriage with divorce as soon as they hear about their other half's affair. Personally, affair is one thing that I believe could be overcome in marriages especially for Muslim couples. I am not trying to sound like a pro-divorce, that is soooooo far from it. However, I do believe that there is a way to settle marriage disagreements other than "divorce".

I will end my entry here for now, but Insha'Allah in the next few days (if I'm not in labour) I will continue my thoughts on affairs. So please don't take this entry as the end of "Iva the pro divorce". Lol! There is a lot more to what I have to say, Insha'Allah.

To be continued....... Insha'Allah.

Part 2: Ramadhan and breastfeeding (or pregnant) Mommies

Alright, since we now know that different scholars and circumstances have different views about fasting while breastfeeding (or pregnant), let's continue reading if you have made your choice to fast this year regardless of your situation.

Here are my personal reasons as to why I chose to fast last Ramadhan even though it was a long day (16 hours) and also the fact I was a newly nursing Mommy:

1) I think Ramadhan is such a spiritual and blessed month that everything is just possible to be achieved in that month.
2) I definitely won't be able to pay back my 29/30 days within a year because I was planning to breastfeed Khairaldin till he's 2 years old.
3) Since Iskandar is working part time and I am not working, it'll be a struggle for us to pay Fidyah as we have enough income just for the family.
4) I was only nursing one baby, so I was convinced it's doable.
5) If I don't fast, I would then have to get my meal ready all by myself and at the same time take care of a 3 months old baby, that's tough!

Seeing my pros outweighs my cons, I then decided to fast! Here are the tips that got me through fasting the whole month (except for 7 days period):

Mental preparation.
I live my life with this quote from a Hadith: "Acts are valued in accodance with their undelying intention" (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim). Basically, this means that whatever your intention is, Insha'Allah you will be able to do the things you have intended to do. Furthermore, believing in it is the key to success!

1) I kept reminding myself my intention (Niat) on wanting to fast. Which was to be closer to Him and to grab as much reward (pahala) as possible in the Holy month.
2) I believed that Allah would not put burden on me if I could not bear it. As mentioned in Surah Baqarah verse 286: "Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. In his favour shall be whatever good each one does, and against him whatever evil does." In the Surah there is also a prayer "Our Lord! Take us not to task if we forget or commit mistakes. Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden such as You laid on those gone before us. Our Lord! Lay not on us burdens which we do not have the power to bear. And overlook our faults, and forgive us, and have mercy upon us. You are our Guardian; so grant us victory against the unbelieving folk." Amin. It's best to read this after each prayer. Insha'Allah, He will help us through it all.
3)Believe, believe and keep beleiving that He is there to help us. Ask for guidance from Him as that is the only ONE that would undestand us and really, that could help us!

Physical preparation
Of course we can't only leave it in God's hand (tawakkal) to let everything fall into place. That is just unfair. We also have to find a way (ikthiar) to get through the day. So, what did I do?

1) During Sahur, I made sure that I snack on lots and lots of dates (kurma) as it gives lot of energy which will be needed during the day.
2) Drank lots and lots of water! I try to have at least 1 litre during Sahur and 1litre during break fast and keep drinking in between break fast and Sahur.
3) I'm not a rice (or anything heavy) person for Sahur, I just can't consume rice at such early hours. So, I choose to eat cereals instead. Be it Weetabix, Quaker Oats, Nestum etc etc.
4) Make sure you don't over eat to "stock up" for the baby as this in turn will only make you feel lethargic.

Spiritual preparation
To be honest, I wanted to do Tadarus Al-Quran with my family but that was highly impossible because Khairaldin's routine was still haywire.
1) Do not miss any prayers!! Prayers are like your "food" during Ramadhan. If you don't pray, there's no point making yourself hungry.

These are the only steps I took during last Ramadhan and also during this year's puasa ganti. There will be a change with the baby's drinking routine, no doubt. Like Khairaldin, before fasting month he drank every 4 hourly but during fasting month, he drank 3 hourly. However, since now he's on solids, he only drinks about 3 times a day. Insha'Allah it'll be easier for me this year than last.

Having said all that, every baby and Mommy is different!! Khairaldin might not be a fussy eater so he might be easier to please. Give it a try for a few days and see how your baby's routine change. If you can't handle it, try to at least fast every other day so that the baby have a break as well. But Insha'Allah, the milk production will not stop even when you are fasting. Allah is fair! There's a reason why he wants us to fast. Since I am a SAHM, it's also easier for me to attend to Khairaldin whenever he wants his milk. It's definitely tougher for working Moms as I know EBM can be tiring mentally and physically. But hey, if your intention is good then INSHA'ALLAH! :)

That's it from me for now. Do not hesitate to ask correct me or ask me questions if I have not covered your query. If any Mommies have any other tips that have helped them through Ramadhan, again, please do share with us!

All the best Mommies!! Hope you will all have a blessed and easy Ramadhan even with the Li'l One, ameen!

Smacking a child for disciplining?

When it comes to 'parenting styles', every Mommies feel as if they know everything about being a parent and that their style is the right style. I am guilty of that too! Even with only one child I feel as if I "know" how to raise all children that comes my way. That's the problem with us, we sometimes forget that every individual is different therefore we get a lot of different parenting styles out there. So really, there is no right or wrong way when bringing up a child. One mother can choose to either let their baby play in the garden without any mat whilst the other is protective and against letting their baby to even touch the grass. Given this situation, both mothers would cringe at one another for doing such a thing. Who's there to tell them that they are doing it wrong? Noone. Bringing up a child should be something both mother and father are comfortable with. One cannot force the other to follow suit just because she's doing it that way.

Disciplining your child is your responsibility, parents. Both parents have a say on how to raise their child. Mothers have an exceptionally more 'power' to say or do what's best for their child because they are built to be physically and emotionally understanding towards their child's wants and needs. For example, when a baby is just born, they are very dependant on their mother. When the baby cries, the mother would instantly carry them and either feed, change diaper or even just cuddle the baby. Mothers spend more time with the child to know the needs of their child.

So, when it comes to disciplining the child it is obvious that mothers have more influence in moulding them into a good ummah. Being a mother holds a lot of responsibility. Mothers would normally have to neglect themselves first in order to make sure the child is in good mood.... for the whole day! It is not an easy job. In my case, more often than not, I will be awaken by the smell of Khairaldin's poop every morning. Going to the toilet to wash him up first before myself, is a normal daily routine for me. Of course since he's poop-ed he would then need to be filled up. Getting the chance to brush my teeth first thing in the morning is highly impossible nowadays. When mothers have to neglect so many things in their life, it is normal to sometimes feel frustrated and just snap at the silliest things. Even though I make it sound as if Mothers are of a different species with super powers, we really are still normal human beings. So we might react to certain things before thinking twice. For instance, we might get fed up of telling a child for the third time to stop doing the same mistakes and might just resort to 'beating/smacking' the child whilst at the same time repeating ourselves for the fourth time! It's just a spontaneous reaction on us human being. We think we are so perfect that everything has to fall into place there and then. But that's wrong.

Beating or smackinga child to discipline them is definitely out of the contacts of disciplining. That would be one 'style' that I would not recommend parents to do if I ever come across parents who does it. I am not talking about a smack in the hand. This is more of a full swing or even a slap. How would a child understand that being smacked means they have to behave? The child for one is hurting and would definitely not listen anymore after being hit. They would be too focused on the pain to actually listen any further. So, if you feel the need to hit the child for the same mistake, stop and think again! The first hit they supposedly deserved didn't make an impact, so why go for another next time? The best way is to reason out with the child why they should not be doing such a thing, it is also better if we could start from young to include any Islamic values into it. For example, if the child does not tidy up after playing, explain to them that Allah loves Muslim to be a clean and tidy person. Teaching and constantly reminding them about Allah will make them grow up loving the religion even more and also into a successful being, Insha'Allah. No doubt some children can comprehend straight away but some are just there to test our patience. There's a reason why Allah said that "patience is half of Imaan" and of course the other half is gratitude when things do fall into place. So, good things really do come to those who wait. Keep trying to reason out with children even before trying to lift your hand to smack them. Insha'Allah this will only make them a good person.

To be continued......... Insha'Allah.

Pictures courtesy of google.

Pride and joy in life!

This is such a great reminder for all of us!

"O you who believe! Let not your riches or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. If any act thus, the loss is their own." [Surah Al-Munafiqun, verse 8]

I was just trying to minimise my status update about Khairaldin a few days ago, and the above ayat came up on one of the groups that I liked on Facebook. If you follow me on Facebook you'll see how my status would always always include Khairaldin's name. No doubt being a parent is such a joy in life! But sometimes, we take it for granted. I remember when after my confinement, I was really contemplating how to juggle being a Wife, Mom and Allah's servant all at the same time??! It's so impossible, so I thought. Alhamdulillah, eventually I've learnt how to actually satisfy our Creator and also my beloved family. I believe that if Allah comes first in our life, everything after that will come easily and naturally. I believe so because whenever I delay my prayers, I always feel as if there's something incomplete. As much as I want things to get done quicker, it gets even tougher. But once my prayers and duty to Allah has been managed, I feel everything is beyond my reach.

Yes, we as parents we do want great things for our kids in this life. We are proud to see their achievement in this life, no doubt! So we start to run errands for them, sending them to the best school or academic etc etc. Those are what make life hectic! The wants and needs for Dunya. It is good to want the best for our child, that's for sure. However, wouldn't it be such a waste of time, energy and effort when we've done all that but hereafter they are left with nothing at all? How are they going to 'face' the creator by saying that they've achieved so much in the 'life before' that can be counted as such good deeds for the 'life after'?

My parents have taught me a lot. They're not the kind that would send us to such superb tuition etc. But one thing for sure, they actually had a personal Ustaz for us so that we learn how to at least be a good Ummah, Insha'Allah. Before I had Khairaldin I always thought, "what a life I've got! Everyone is so rich and famous and I'm nowhere near." Alhamdulillah. Now I can see why my parents bring us up in such moderate life. We didn't get the chance to do our own shopping until we earned our own money. I can see that my parents have invested an awful LOT to bring us up to be a great Ummah. Now I know that they didn't bring us shopping because they used the money to get us private Ustaz to teach us the Quran. Alhamdulillah!!!! That means so much more to me now. At least I still remember the Ustaz that made me Khatam the Al-Quran. If those money were used for shopping instead, I bet I wouldn't even remember what I have bought with all that money!!

As much as I'm proud (I'll try and use this word loosely now) of my child(ren), I know there's only one thing that will make them appreciate us more, bringing them up as a great Ummah! I wouldn't want them to turn around and say, "Mom, why didn't you ever teach me about my religion??" Nauzubillahiminzalik. Having read that Ayat, it made me realise that Allah knew that we parents are going to turn up to be very boastful about our child and might forget him, so he's wrote this reminder down in the Holy book and I think it's best for us to share with all. Insha'Allah.
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Raja Khalid Khairaldin's first birthday party!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY OUR DEAREST LOVE, KHALID KHAIRALDIN!
Love, hugs and kisses always and forever, Abah & Mommy

*click on pictureSSSSS to enlarge*

So, as you'd already know by now, it's Khairaldin's birthday on the 16th of June. We had a mini celebration with the family on his 'actual' birthday. I made Soto and just bought an off the shelf cake. Since his birthday was on a weekday, we had to rush the celebration as my nephew and niece had school the next day. We settled down by 9p.m. Small and simple. He loved it! (You could tell from the video that I'll upload soonest, Insha'Allah). When we sang the birthday song to him, he actually hummed as if he's singing it too! He was so happy and smiley the whole time. I know he doesn't understand a thing but somehow he knows the spotlight was on him. He was also being demanding all day! It was after all his day, so we, sorry I, gave in to him endlessly. :)
At first I planned to have his BBQ party on the 20th of June since it's a weekend. But my parents had some events to attend to so I changed it to the week after-27th June. My plan was to only invite the family and my cousin from Manchester. But my dad insisted to invite the neighbours as they are Muslims and since it's BBQ, it'll be rude not to. So we did. The number of people was still within our budget because my cousins + family had to cancel at the very last minute.
I had a rather ambitious plan on wanting to bake his cake! You see, the only cake I know how to bake is Moist Chocolate Cake. I got the recipe from my senior. Thanks Kak Nad! So on Saturday, I went to my brother's place to use his oven. Our oven is a bit weird so I opted to use theirs as I don't want to ruin the cake (at least that's my excuse). When I arrived their place, they were out. Confidently I set the oven to its setting. All done, mixture sorted. Started baking. I had the Number 1 cake idea for quite a while. It just looks so easy to do. Well, for someone who bakes once in a blue moon, everything seems haywire and difficult!!!! :|
I needed 3 rectangle shaped cake tin since that's how the number will be designed. Instead of using one cake mixture and separate them into 3, I did one cake mixture into one cake tin!!! Obviously when it raised, it overflowed because rectangle cake tins are just too small in height and depth! Also the mixture measurement was for normal round cake tin. So like it or not, I had to throw that to waste. I made another mixture and this time separated them into 3 containers. Alhamdulillah it raised perfectly. Now, by this time my bro + SIL arrived home. Little did I know, the setting for the oven was wrong!!!! I set it to GRILL setting instead of oven. Hence the cake being baked just the top and bottom not the inside. Setting changed. All ok. Let it set. Alhamdulillah, all in all it was perfect. Except the top and bottom bit became cookie like rather than cake! My li'l brother loved it though. He had 3 huge slices! Most of it was only just being served to him. Don't know whether he's just being nice or what. LOL!
My sister in law also baked some cupcakes. I wanted Elmo cuppies because that's the only cartoon character that Khairaldin knows and is really fond of. And surprise surprise, when the cupcakes were being served, he actually sang the Elmo song!!!!! We were too shocked! So I told my sister in law that her design was definitely spot on since Khairaldin knew what is was straight out of the box!!! For a 1 year old, he's really clever, Masha'Allah. :) I'd recommend my SIL's cuppies if you're living in the UK. Not being biased, but it's goood! And, she's wayy creative! :)
Alhamdulillah, all the food was enough and there was not much wastage throughout. Everyone finished their portions and leftovers were packed for my brothers and neighbours. Alhamdulillah all went well. The preparation was no doubt hectic! I had to run from one place to another to buy stuff. Iskandar was down with UTI, so had to rush him to the hospital at 3am on Wednesday. From then on I had to run errands on my own but thank god for having my Mom to also tag along on few occasions. :) We ladies, managed to do it ourselves.
Well, the highlight of the event was the bouncy castle! Since Summer is only for 1 week in the UK we thought we might as well make full use of it :D. We rented a bouncy castle and on that particular day we held the party, the castle was on Summer Sale! So, we really saved a LOT! It was great! Everyone's inner child was brought out on the day and as for Khairaldin, he didn't like it much. However, when we lay him down in the castle, he could easily doze off. He's never trained to be rocked to sleep, so that was new for him and he liked it. So, eventually he enjoyed it as much as we did. But really, the bouncy castle was more for us than him. It'd be so boring if we didn't have the bouncy castle.

All in, we had major fun!!! But doing it again is definitely out of the question (at least for now). Probably would just hire the bouncy castle for fun. Hahaha That would be so much fun!

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Al-Fatihah.

This date last year, was supposed to be Khairaldin's estimated due date (EDD). When I told my Mom about it, the first thing that came to her mind was "it's also your late brother's birthday :)". I bit my tongue and celebrated silently. You see, my Mom had all of us at 7 months. We were all premature except for my youngest brother- 9 months cycle. Alhamdulillah all of us survived in the incubator for the next 2 months. As for my late brother, he was given birth at 6 months+ and survived for 2 days. My parents always talked about him. They always reminded us of him and according to them, "he's a heaven's child". I had no doubt about that. There must be a reason why Allah took him away from us. Even though my parents talked about him that much, I always took him for granted. I never knew his birthday until the day I found out my EDD. I believe that Allah works in mysterious way and this is one of His many ways to get me to remember my late brother's birth/existance.

I really admire my parents' strength and determination. Even after losing their 2nd baby, they never gave up to have more. If it were to be me, I'd be so heartbroken. But Alhamdulillah, with Allah's will, they managed to have 4 other babies after that. I feel so blessed to have a brother watching over me from Heaven. :) Mom said that Heaven babies would always ask Allah if the person who's passed away was a relative of His. As they've been wanting to meet up with their family members. Abg Soleh, Insha'Allah we'll meet someday :).

Gosh, I can't believe how much I'm crying right now even though I don't know him personally. I truly miss him and wonder what it'd be like if he's around. But Abg Soleh, you're always in our heart, soul and prayers. I pray that we'll meet one day. Amin!!

Al-Fatihah.

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Lose weight or lose fats?

Before I got pregnant, I've always wanted to lose some weight because I know I will put extra weight on. :D My pre-pregs weight was 45kg and I've been this weight since 19 years old. During secondary school my weight ranged around 40-42kg. Yes, that skinny!

When I first met Iskandar I was around 40ish kilos. Then few months after we got together I put on some kilos, I've never been under 45kg ever since! Poor him, I thought! He went out with this skinny girl then suddenly she's put on a lot of weight. Being in a LDR made it impossible for him to see my gradual weight gain. We only see each other once a year for 3 months; Summer hols. We went out for 6 years before we decided to get married. Everytime when I tell him I want to lose weight and be the girl I was when he first met me (which coincidentally was 8 years ago, today!! :), he instantly said "NO! You were too skinny and looked rather fragile". *gasp* I thought that he was with me because I was small! LOL! Apparently that's not the case.

During my 9 months pregnancy, I put on almost 12-15kgs. Six months after Khairaldin's birth, I managed to go down till 50kg. Which accordingly I am in a good BMI range. But I am still not satisfied! Obviously I moaned and groaned about my weight but not wanting to do anything about it, let alone light exercises. So Iskandar told me, "it's not your weight that you're having problem with but it's the fats you've put on around your waist, bum and thighs." True enough. Even though I've gone down to 50kg, I still felt sluggish and tired. Iskandar said that my only option was to workout to burn those fats. I'm aware of the many diet pills or diet products available out there but I'm not too keen of it's health "benefits" (or lack of in some cases). I've got this mindset whereby, if it's really that good, why isn't it being prescribed by the doctors? So, that is why I'd rather workout to get the euphoric feeling :) I also always tell myself that the reason I wanna workout is because I wanna keep myself healthy. Allah has given me this perfect body, mind and soul for me to worship Him. If I become unhealthy it would be difficult for me to worship Him :( That's why I try my very best to keep myself healthy.

Right, what is the difference between losing weight and losing fats? When I talk about losing weight before, I meant, 45kg and below on the weighing scale. But little did I know, whatever is shown on the weighing scale isn't what I should be judging my weight by. You see, numbers on the weighing scale is the weight for everything, internal organs, bones, water, fats, blood etc etc. It is impossible for us to know what each and every one of these weigh, if we knew the weight then it would be easier for us to estimate how much fats are stored in our body. You could get the weighing scale to show numbers that you wanna see by just going on any type of diet. I've tried Herbalife before and it definitely brought me down to 43kg, for a while. Once I stopped, I was back to my 'old' self. As for mental and physical, it didn't change much. I still had some flabs and sometimes I become even more tired because the amount of food consumed was not enough. So now, when I say lose weight, I mean I wanna see myself in better shape - physical, mental and health wise. Insha'Allah.

So, when Iskandar told me about 'losing fats' I started reading on ways to burn fats rather than burning weight. Like I said, you can take the easy way out by going on a meal replacement diet and get the 'weighing scale' figure that you want. However, you might still end up with 'love handles', 'saddle bags' etc because what you're losing might only just be water and not even fats! My research have then pointed me to the right direction on how to actually burn this excessive fats that's been put on along the years.

Wanna know my way of losing fats instead of weights? Then follow me on my next entry with a full workout regime! :) Insha'Allah.

Choices in life...

Credits: Google.com

Everyday in our life we ought to make a choice. From the moment we wake up we've already made a choice by choosing to wake up. Then it comes to whether we should shower, what clothes to wear etc etc. It's impossible to not choose at all in a day. Making a choice in our everyday life give us the feeling of ownership. After all, the word in itself means 'power, right and liberty'. Before making a decision one should have a plan in order to make it work. Prophet (peace be upon him) once said "there is no intelligence like planning." Of course when you have made a decision and feel the ownership, you would feel that you've accomplished something without having to listen to anyone else.

Ever since I gave birth to Khairaldin I have been the decision maker on how to bring him up. I was the one who chose to cloth diped him, babywear him and last but obviously not least, breastfeed him till he's 2 years old, Insha'Allah. Obviously, I consult Iskandar first to make sure he's okay with the decisions I make. Before I consult him, I prefer to list the pros and cons to him so that he can see my point of view. This has worked well for us. We make the choices and feel great when it's all accomplished. If we make a decision and feel rather unhappy about it, that's maybe because we don't own the choice. So we abandoned it.

Anyway, I chose to blog fairly recently only because I wanted to share my experience as a newly Mom and Wife. As you can see my entries are mostly about parenting and relationship. So when I write, it's all from my personal experiences and thoughts. Viewers could either like it or hate it, for all I care. However, when I write my entries, never have I had the intention to sound cocky, high up and everything negative. I always write with a POSITIVE energy and mindset. Like all my entries, I would like it to relate to Islam in such a way because it is difficult to get info on Islamic parenting and relationship on the web. Since internet is THE form of communication nowadays, I thought I might as well write something so that people can read up on it. There is also a Hadith from Al-Bukhari: Prophet (peace be upon him) stated "Convey from me, even if it be one ayah." and also another from At-Tirmidhi: "Whoever points in the direction of goodness shall be (in reward) like those who act upon it." Speaking of which, I was really grateful to know that some people looked up a few keywords on google about Islamic parenting and they ended up on my blog. Alhamdulillah. I'm really glad to know that and it only makes me wanna read more and blog about it. Insha'Allah, I will continue to do just that :)

Back to my point, my entries are all meant to be positive, unless it's a personal rant which I go through once in a blue moon. And obviously I won't relate anything Islamic to my rants! Haha It's ok, you'll know when I'm ranting because I'll let you know before hand to not waste your time reading it. Of course being a writer or blogger you can't expect everyone to like your entry. You'd be incredibly great writer if you can win everyone's heart. I have always been ready for criticism, because I'm not a qualified writer. However, when people have the rare idea about me trying to show off about my life, that's just ridiculous! I think when you read a blog, you have to set a mindset to it since you can't hear how it's being delivered. Even if the writer writes it in a positive way and you seem to have a negative mindset, that's just you not the writer. Some people might think that I am bragging about getting the chance to breastfeed my child till he's 11 months and counting. Personally, it's a choice! If you feel a negative energy from my writing all I can say is that, you had a choice and you definitely did not own up to your choice. That is why you feel everything everyone else do is wrong!

I for one do not follow the norm. So, that might even get some people's panties twisted because I chose to be different. My point is, you have a choice in this life you live in, if you choose to do something, make sure you own up to it! You can know that you are not owning up to your choices when you have a defensive attitude about people who do things differently to you. Don't ever judge someone for the choices they make but in fact, try to know why they make the choices in the first place. If you really can't grasp their idea, don't comment on it!

So, keep reading if you want to but do it with a positive mind and heart. :)

Part 3: Wedding Customs & Non-Islamic traditions

** Part 3 of Wedding Customs & Non-Islamic traditions

"This whole world is an enjoyment, and its best enjoyment is a righteous wife."[Hadith Muslim]

Weddings are meant to be an occasion of real rejoicing and joy for the couple themselves and the whole community. I say meant because, somewhere along the way it had become a rather stressful and nerve wrecking event. So what makes wedding so stressful? The stress and nerve wrecking situation happens because of the extravagance and the violation of the Islamic code of conduct. The terrible competitiveness between the hosts and guests to have an extravagant wedding makes it impossible to plan a rather perfect wedding for the "people's eye". We want everything to seem perfect in dunyaa that we have forgotten to realise the purpose of Shari'ah being revealed. Shari'ah is always revealed with a purpose and its main purposes are to preserve religion, life and health, family and lineage, intellect and property. Within the Shari'ah it is possible for people to have genuine joy and fulfilment. The rejection of Shari'ah would lead to misery, ill-health, bankcruptcy, being forgotten and despised in old age and desperate death, if not in this world then it would be in the hereafter. The punishment we'll get hereafter is beyond one's imagination.

I don't know if I've mentioned this in my previous posts but there may be people who will say "Well, we do not place importance on these rites nor do we think they are significant. We only carry them out to please either the wife/husband, father/mother, relatives, children". If there are people who would say such a thing then it's up to the wise and intelligent members of the family to educate the rest on the violation of the Shari'ah. Some may accept straight away to dismiss the rites and traditions but some might put a fight and insist on having them on the wedding day. The question is, isn't this rebellious attitude an indication of how important such rites are to them? Many of us would think that omission of any of the rites mentioned simply would NOT be a wedding.

Below are some of the Indian rituals that have been famously incorporated in Malay Muslim's weddings.

Wedding party (reception)

The Vivaha (a book of Hindus on marriage customs) explains that on the wedding day, the groom with his friends and relatives goes to the house of the bride on a conveyance suited to his status. In the past, the elephants were recommended for Princes and the rich, nowadays they are replaced by Rolls Royce or Merc etc. On arrival, the groom stands outside the gate of the house facing east and is welcomed by a company of women (the bride's family/relatives).

There are those who go to certain extent by either hiring cars or even buying new cars just for the reception. The better the car, apparently, the better your status is. However, if we follow the Quran and Shari'ah, this only means exhibitionism and gross extravagance. The Quran carries a terrible warning for such behaviour. Here's an excerpt I researched that suits the said situation; "Believer! Do not nullify your acts of charity by stressing your benevolence and causing hurt as does he who spends his wealth only to be seen by people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. The example of his spending is that of a rock with a thin coating of earth upon it: when a heavy rain smites it, the earth is washed away, leaving the rock bare; such people derive no gain from their acts of charity. Allah does not set the deniers of the Truth on the Right Way." (Al-Baqarah:264)

Obviously those who have adopted 'non-Islamic' rites in marriage, indulge in extravagant expenses up to the point where financial loans are necessary. We know how detestable it is to loan with interest etc. So it's best if we could spend according to what we could afford. Insha'Allah.

Offering gifts (Hantaran/wedding presents)

'Hantaran' on it's own is already known as a form of exhibitionism. I remember about 15 years ago when my brother got married, his hantaran was mostly food (for the families) and clothing. But now, the more 'hantaran' you give, the superior you'll appear. People would stand closely and thoroughly examine each and every gift given on that day way before the bride/groom gets a chance to. And expressions such as "WOW!! That LV (or insert any designer names) handbag must've cost him a bomb!!" "She gave him an iPad for his hantaran???? Ohh, I must get that for mine too." Everyone will compare and wanting the same or more for their day just because others have done it.

Iskandar and I had hantaran too. My Mom didn't like the idea of hantaran as it's such a waste of money and just annoying to decorate it etc etc. During my sis' wedding, she didn't have any hantaran. So on mine, we just bought nice boxes and put the 'gifts' in the box and not let anyone see it but the groom's family when they have brought it home. We didn't know there was a session whereby you had to say what was being presented. Since my Uncle was the spokesperson, he didn't have any idea what was in the boxes either. So he just settled by saying "I'm sure you will like and appreciate what ever is presented to you in these boxes, Insha'Allah". It is good to give presents, no doubt, as Aishah (Radhi Allahu Anha) said, the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam) is reported to have said, "Give presents to one another, for a present removes hatred." (Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)

However, the concept is wrong when people give the present in a great show to an extent of wrapping it in transparent paper (or not wrapping it). The recipient will also make a note of who gave what so that in future they know what to give in return (depending how much it costs). Instead of an honest and wholehearted gift, people are exchanging presents either because they received something from the past or expects something in the future. The barakah and love one may hope to get is lost because either the receiver finds it a burden to 'reply' in future or even the giver will silently suffer until he receives a gift similar to the one he gave.

There are also in some communities whereby the presents (usually money) are being kept by the parents because to them, the bride has only received them because the parents had given them in the past. So these people treat their daughters as if they are their financial assets. Like in my case, I willingly let my parents have all the money because I didn't fork out anything for the reception. So, it's only fair since they paid for all of it. It's best to ask if the bride/groom need the money as they might need it for their journey to start a family soon.

Blessing the couple

The Hindu tradition orders that the assembled guests and relatives bless the bride/couple: the women stroke their fingers over the heands and faces of the couple, reciting some verses over them and then cracking their fingers against their own heads. Alright, we Malays don't really do this kind of things but the idea of merenjis is definitely from this tradition, right? The Paraskara Grhya Sutra also guides that after having blessed the couple the guest must go back to their seats/home. So, that's so much like the merenjis event in our culture.

Most of the Hindu ceremonies are symbolic. Some of the classes symbolises union and others in desire to promote fertility or to assure abundance of food for the household. Some ceremonies are also to ward off danger and evil spirited. Sadly, MOST of the Indians rituals are adopted in Muslim weddings. I'm sure you'd think, what's wrong with promoting, fertility etc etc, the point here is, a prayer/do'a for the couple is sufficient enough. One doesn't have to go such extremes to give well wishes to the couple or family members. We must constantly compare and contrast our practices with those ordained by the Glorious Quran and the Sunnah. Follow what is right and reject what is outside the bounds of Islam. Allah says in the Quran: Verily, this is My Way, Leading straight: follow it: Follow not (other) paths: They will scatter you about From His great Path: Thus He commands you, That you may be righteous. (Al An'am:153)

Suffice to say, the event mentioned above have now became a highly exhibitionist one wherein family members try to out-perform one another in expectation on applause from the other guests. Nauzubillahi Minzalik. Since now we know that most of the traditions came from other religions, wouldn't it be nice if we were to dismiss them and follow our Prophet's teachings? Why not we start to invite people to join us in the sane and noble way of Islam rather than we trade our Islam for their disastrous way of life? That's a thought for us all. :)

I'll end this entry here by saying, Allah knows best!!! I also pray that we will all assist each other and take heed of the great counsel from the ayah of Quran and the Sunnah so that in the life hereafter we join and stand with the people of the Ummah of the Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam). Amin!

It's all about LOVE!

Iskandar and I have been planning on a 'romantic date'. You know, like what couples normally do, lunch/dinner followed with a movie and coming home feeling all loved up except you get to continue being loved for a long long time. teehee :) We've been planning this for about 2 weeks now! LOL! Never thought we needed 2 weeks to plan for a date. As much as I love impromptu dates, having a baby is impossible to do so. We have to work our schedule around his eat, sleep and poo schedule! Seriously.

I don't really like leaving Khairaldin behind for more than an hour. I get rather restless thinking if he's ok. I also don't really like the fact people have to wash him up if he poops or if he generally needs attention. But, on top of all that, we just wanna have some time alone. Just the 2 of us. My brothers are all so willing to take care of him. I know they'll do a great job so, I'm leaving him for more than an hour next week to have some dating time with Hubby love. :)

Although it's been hectic thinking of things to pack for Khairaldin, I still managed to sneakily get myself ready for the date. Hehehe So, both Khairaldin and I went to town yesterday to get our necessities. As for him, it was his biscuits and some chocs. For myself, I had to get physically emmm yummy?! LOL! It's been way too long. It felt like going on a first date all over again but this time I was carrying a baby with me throughout the shopping duration! Couldn't ask for more! It was superb :)
What did I get my hands on? First it was the toiletries. Believe me, with only £5 I managed to get all these; 2 YUMMY body scrubs, exfoliating gloves, body sponge and body spray.

Then it was the outfit. Gotta love Primark for their bargains! I managed to get a £2 blouse and it's pretty! Doesn't look like a £2 blouse at all ;) I will put a picture after the date. LOL! Don't really want *him* to see it before hand ;) Ok, it ain't all that saucy but definitely worth the £2. Hehehe

If you wanna know why I'm still in the UK and not the beautiful Sunny Malaysia, this is mostly why- SHOPPING! Where can you get toiletries for that price? As in RM5? Or even a RM2 top that will look decent? Alright some of you might actually convert £5 to RM30, even so, could you get those things? I love the UK! You don't need to earn a lot to lead a decent lifestyle. I wish Malaysia could do the same too. It's sad looking at only rich people can keep themselves pretty. It would be nice if those less fortunate could also get their hands on some good stuff at fraction of the price, at least.

Credits: Google

Anyway, do wait for my lunch/dinner date entry. I have butterflies in my tummy just thinking about this well-planned date! Love it! *tralalalala* <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Final part: Islam is a religion FOR planning!

Salaam.

This entry is longgggggg overdue! It is a continuation for this and this entries. I'm so sorry for being a procrastinator. I've been doing a lot of reading and get really excited and if possible want to share it with all of you straight away! So that's why I keep changing from topic to topic. I try to accommodate my writings to readers preference. Insha'Allah. If you all have any topic in mind at all, do give a shoutout so I can do research on it. Insha'Allah.

Just for the record, I'm doing some reading on home schooling. As soon as I finish the Wedding entries, I will get started on the 'home schooling' entries :) In case some of you are eager to know, the books I'm reading are supporting home schooling to such an extent! I'm not planning to home school Khairaldin but these bookS are making it too appealing! *Stay tuned* But please bear with me as in between those 'educational' entries, there will be stories of my precious baby boy. It's something I would want him to look back and read through. Insha'Allah.

So, moving on. Here's the excerpt from the book regarding children's right to sleeping arrangement. 'The child has the right to have an independent or separate sleeping arrangement. This comes from Prophet's saying: "Instruct your children in praying at age seven, punish them if they fail [to practice] at age ten; and let them sleep separately from one another" Authenticated by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal. The sleeping arrangement will be a separate room, a separate corner, a separate bed/mat for each child (especially during adolescence).

There is a dilemma in this regard that has to be mitigated. The average size of a Muslim family is 6-7 children. How many families can afford to provide separate sleeping arrangements for them?'

Basically, here it shows that family planning is permissible. Spacing of children and adjusting the numbers to the family's means are a part of the solution as well as improving the housing situation of the family. There are many reasons given but like I said, it is how we would want to pecieve it. Do always pray that Allah will show us to the right path.

Alhamdulillah, I have now managed to finish up my entries regarding family planning in Islam. I really hope all of you have managed to benefit something out of these entries. Whatever our question may be, always remember that the answer is in the Al-Quran and/or Sunnah. Since these are the only guidance we have left for us now, let's try and make full use of it.

I pray that we will all be guided to the right path. Amin.

Ps: JazakAllah Khair to all of you who have stopped by to read my entries. Even if I don't get that many comments, your frequent footsteps show that you've enjoyed my entries. Alhamdulillah, I'm really pleased that I can share all of that I know with others whom are interested. Thank you :)
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Just a (one too many) thought. Hmmm..

Have you ever felt so lost in life, like you don't know what and where your life is heading to? I'm feeling exactly just that! :| Sometimes, I feel like being a SAHM is the bestest thing in life but at times, I just want more and more!! Notice how I've changed my dream "careers" one too many times? From a teacher, to LC to Midwifery... That's because I just don't know what to do.

Don't get me wrong, I loveeee spending time with my Husband and baby all day & night long! I would wake up a few minutes early just to see them sleep. It's just serene! But at times I just wanna go out and be with my friends. Which is highly impossible coz all of them are in Malaysia. In the UK, there is no such thing as friendship. You are either a colleague, uni mate/classmate. They don't really see the 'bond' in friendships. Even though I've been in the UK for 8 years now, I still don't see myself as having a true friend. Then again, that's maybe because I don't really mix around.

I'm also not looking for a job that pays big fat cheque at the end of the month. I just want something rewarding to do. I don't even mind becoming a volunteer for certain organisations. Money definitely won't push me to get a job. Big money means less family time. That's how I look at it. I guess all I want is to do something different for a change. A 9-5 job is definitely not an option to make things different/better. I'm sure this is just a phase because Khairaldin is more independent (eating on his own & slowly walking) now. Once he starts to speak and learn to read, I supposed I would feel more needed as a Mom.

I'm looking forward to the day when I have to read him goodnight stories (I have a whole stash of books just waiting on the shelf). I'm looking forward to the day I can teach him Alif, Baa Taa.. ABCs and 123. I'm looking forward to being there when he needs help with his homework. I'm looking forward to walk/drive him to school. ....... Now I realise how much I want to be a Mom more than anything else in this world. I want to spend as much time as I can with my child before he grows up and say, "Mommy, I'm leaving soon". At least when that time comes, Insha'Allah I'll be ready to say "See you soon" even though I know deep inside 'soon' will be ages to come. He's a boy, I have come to realise that boys are different to girls in so many ways when it comes to emotional feelings.

And when that 'farewell' comes, I will put a smile on my face because I know I have been there for him throughout his childhood. :)

So, a Mom & Wife, I will be for as long as I am given the opportunity to do so.

Alhamdulillah.
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