My third baby's 100th day and my 200th post!!

Masha'Allah! How amazing is that? Celebrating my 200th post with a story of my third child's debut to the world? It's nice to have a blog where I can jot down the important things in my life. At least, some of it. :) Just for the record, this baby was a rather planned one, because I said after I come back from hajj, I want another baby. And BAM, AllahuAkbar! That will be in a different blog altogether. Allah's miracles!

So here's how he went down or even, came out.....

My third pregnancy went by so quickly, at one point. Towards the end of it, when I became bigger and heavier, I felt like there was more than 24 hours in a day! I.just.wanted.the.baby.to.be.out.of.me like as soon as possible. People say that by the third pregnancy, baby will come out at least 2-3 weeks earlier. LIES!!!!! My baby hanged on to my womb for as long as he could. I felt like it's gonna be an induced baby. Every single time I attend my prenatal check-ups there were no sign of baby coming out any earlier. As keen as I was, I was still scared to go through the whole delivery process. So anyway, I gave up counting the days and just went with the flow. My final days were on the month of Ramadhan. I could've "easily" fasted the whole month but I kept telling myself I needed the food and energy in case baby comes out.

On the 21st Ramadhan 1435 = 19th July 2014, the last 9 days of Ramadhan, my Dad's company had Iftar and Qiamulail at their company's hotel. The plan was for Khalid and Aizah to stay with my parents, nephew and niece at the hotel because I just needed some time off from them. THE PLAN. So, I went to the hotel at 3p.m to drop them off for their sleepover. I was so sleepy and tired by the time we reached the hotel (yeah, it not only happens during pregnancy, I need afternoon naps! haha). I took an hour nap and got up for Asar prayers. Everything was well and dandy. I did not feel any sign of giving birth at all! At about 6p.m, my parents came to my room asking if we wanna join them for Du'a Selamat and Yassin recitation. I asked them to go ahead first because we were not ready. At about 6:30p.m I went downstairs and was just in time for the du'a selamat and my Dad's speech to officiate the Qimullail. It was a heartfelt speech as my Dad was  crying when giving his speech. I cried too (blame the hormones). But yes his speech did touch us in so many ways. :'(

When everything was done, I took the kids out of the hall to have some quiet time. By then it was nearing Iftar. At that moment, I had a few moments of 'stomach cramps'. It was happening every 15 minutes. Being the person that I am, so laid back. I said, no this couldn't be contraction. Probably just braxton hicks since I've not got that during my pregnancy. Before Iftar, I went to the toilet and there was stain. To say it was a stain was also very tricky because it was literally ONE teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy brown dot. So I left it as it is but just in case, I did tell Iskandar what was happening and you can see the excitement on his face!Yeah, weird right?!

We went to our room to pray Maghrib because I just could not stand up to pray in my last trimester. So, the kids and my niece prayed in our room and I went to the toilet straight after. Had episodes of tummy ache and the cramps were coming closer at 10minutes interval. We went downstairs again to have our dinner. This time I knew it was contractions! I could not walk when it was happening and had to stop at every instance it was happening. Since it was my Dad's company's event, people were stopping me and asking me questions like, "when are you due?" "Your tummy looks so low." I just said "my due date is on the 21st July, so it could be anytime now" whilst bearing the contraction pain.

We got to the dining table safely and I made sure my kids had their dinner. By this time it was already 8+p.m. I also had my dinner as I did not have that much food during the day. Whilst having dinner I was already feeling the contractions every 5 minutes!! But nothing comes between me and FOOD! Everyone knows that! Just before I finished eating, my Mom asked, "are you going back after this?" I just told her, "I think I'm going to the hospital, I don't feel right." My Mom thought I was just pulling a fast one because I was gonna leave the kids behind. I was like whatever. Went to my Dad, told him I'm going to the hospital and of course he had to announce to the whole table that I was sooo due but still wanna come. So, we salam and kissed our parents and shoot straight for the car. At that point, I was really dragging myself out of the hotel. Asked the jockey for our car and they took their time to give our keys. HOW FUN! I'm sure it wasn't that long but it did feel forever!

Pic courtesy of Google

Oh, did I mention the hotel was in KL and my hospital was in Sungai Buloh? Oh and also, we didn't bring the baby bag or Red Book with us. Sooooo, we had to go back home. We arrived home at 9:30p.m, I told Iskandar I wanna stay in the bath for a while. Because in UK they'd asked to have a warm bath first before coming in. Warm bath will soothe the contraction. Iskandar prayed Isha' whilst I was just waiting for the contraction to "go off". As if! By the time he finished solat, I asked him to time my contractions and it was still every 5 minutes. So I came out of the bath, solat Isha' and rushed out to the hospital. Before that I managed to take my Qaseh Adinda supplement since I definitely need the energy if I was gonna deliver then.

Pic courtesy of Google

Arrived the hospital at 10:30p.m, Alhamdulillah it was so smooth sailing. Got our parking space easily and we walked to the maternity ward....dragging-ly!!!!!! I had to stop at every contraction!!! We registered at the counter only to know that husbands aren't allowed to go in for the check up. So they strapped me on the ECG and what nots for a good 20minutes. They told me my graph was "nice" since my contraction was quite constant. I have NOOOO IDEA what that means! I had to wait in the waiting room to see the doctor and there was so many joyful people who was asking me questions! Even though they know my contractions were constant, they still waited for an answer while I had to deal with the contractions myself! Then we went to see the Doctor which then told me I was already 5cm dilated! That's good news for me because at least I can be in the delivery room with Iskandar. Remember I said THE PLAN was for us to have our time since the kids are away, hey, why not make it memorable and have a date in the delivery room, yes?? No? ;)

Pic courtesy of Google

Little did I know, Husbands are not allowed in until the wives are about 10cm dilated. 10 CM ok!!! What theeeee? I really needed the support. I think I kept bugging them with the question "can my Husband come in now? I need to tell him what's going on." They 'assured' me everything is in good hands and he's well informed. Ok fine. The doctor came in again to break my waterbag. It felt soooo good to have my waterbag break. I know if they didn't break it, I will stay there forever. I asked the Doctor if my Husband can come in before he breaks my waterbag because with Aizah, literally 2 mins after my waterbag broke she was already coming out. The Doctor said, it's ok, we will wait and see. I don't think it will happen that soon. Alright, you should know, I thought. Tick tock tick tock. It was already 11:30p.m. The Doctor said that I was already about 6cm dilated, so accordingly I should be giving birth by 4a.m. earliest.....

WRONG!!!!!!! 12a.m I told the nurses I think I really need to push the baby out, I can really feel it. I remember the nurses taking their time putting their gloves etc and said, "tunggu ye. We all kena prepare, kalau betul baby nak keluar nanti takde barang2". I told them "Tak boleh tunggu!!! Betul nak keluar dah ni!!!!!" They just told me to selawat and zikir. So  I did. Then they checked me, I was already 10cm and they can feel baby's head! Remember my husband wasn't with me? Yeah they had to rush and tell Iskandar to come in. But they didn't tell him baby is soooo coming out! When he came to the delivery room all calm and collected, switch on the Quranic Mp3 for me and asked so what's new? I just told him I'm about to push!!!!! He quickly held my hand and gave encouragement. Haha Such a natural! :) However, at this point I just couldn't feel any contraction so everyone was just waiting. When it came, I just pusheddddddddd!!!Unfortunately, I don't really count how many pushes it was. The next think I know, baby was already out.

Alhamdulillah at 12:17a.m on 22nd Ramadhan 1435; 20th July 2014, Raja Sa'ad Salahuddin made debut to the world. He's such an amazing baby, Masha'Allah. Actually, all my kids are amazing in their own way.  Everything was well for the both of us Alhamdulillah. By 12p.m the same day, the doctor discharged the both of us. AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE GOVERNMENT HOSPITALS! I get so restless staying in hospitals that I kept bugging them I wanna go home so they checked me up and let us go on the day itself.

Three months on and he's still the same easy-to-handle baby that he is. SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah.

I'm sure you are all 'eager' to know my experience between UK care and Malaysia. I shall blog about it like I always say... soon! :D:D:D Insha'Allah.

ONE year later......

SubhanAllah! Our babycake turns the big ONE today!! Alhamdulillah shukur for having the chance to be with her 24-7, to breastfeed her until today and to basically just be there with her all the time. As years go by, there's only one thing I don't want to feel which is; regret. Family values doesn't seem to have its value anymore these days. You hear about people breaking relationship with their blood-related family like it's not a sin anymore. I don't want to witness all of this when my children are bigger, AMIN! I want them to know how much they love each other and how much they truly do care about each other from the day their sibling was born until today. However, there's only so much I can instill in my children's mind and that is why I am really thankful that I am here with them during their infant and toddler years. The years where they learn so many things and to know that they are looking and scrutinizing my every move make me wanna improve myself even more.

So Aizah Layina, remember that you are one of the lucky children to have your Mother and Brother with you during your first year. Abah didn't get the chance to be here as much as he'd love to but believe me, it is all for our family's own good. When he gets back from work, he will always pick you up and play with you, that is your Abah's love for you and your brother. Alhamduillah! Babycakes, remember that you will always be our baby no matter what. We love you so much and really grateful that Allah gave us the chance to love and care for you. Alhamdulillah shukur. Last but definitely not least, Mommy and Abah will constantly pray for your well being in this dunya and akhirah. We will always want the best for you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I always will! There will come a time when you will disagree with me and we might end up fighting but dear, just remember I am your Mother and what I have gone through to bring you up until today. Again, I love you Sayang and I always do. :')

Raja Aizah Layina's long awaited debut

Truthfully, I am not one of those people who has the courage to read about other's labour/birth experience. I'm scared that their experience will haunt me when I'm in labour. So, I try to be in a positive mindset throughout my pregnancy and labour. If you're pregnant and want to know about my experience then carry on reading. Insha'Allah you can still have a positive mindset after reading this entry. I'm not saying that my labour was bad nor am I saying it was "great". After giving birth to Khairaldin, I expected my labour to be rather...easy? But hey who am I kidding! There's a reason why Allah expiates our sins whenever we are in pain.
 
A few people msged me saying that they've got a feeling I'll be giving birth on the weekend (25th or 26th June 2011). My eldest brother even had a dream that I was going in labour that precise weekend! But I kept thinking, nah, it won't be anytime soon coz I don't feel anything different. I was also chatting with my youngest brother who was flying off from Malaysia - UK. He said something about I will give birth today/night (26th June 2011) then I said to him, don't say that, I'm tired! I need my sleep! So we ended our chat and I went to sleep around 1am +.

Google

Then around 3am, Sunday 26th June 2011, it all started.... without me realising it. I had cramp-like tummyache. I didn't expect it to be contractions as it was rather bearable and really it's just like cramps. Then I went to the toilet prepared for Subuh (morning prayer) since it was nearly Subuh. After Subuh I tried to sleep. Managed to sleep for a while then the pain came back. I told Iskandar to monitor just in case it was contractions as it's constant and consistent. Iskandar timed the "stomach cramp" and it was going for every 10mins for 1/2 an hour. Since I was confident it was contractions, I decided to have a warm bath to see if it would ease the pain (coz I know that is what the Midwife will ask me to do if I call them up). I was alright in the bath tub for 1/2 an hour but as soon as I got out it started all over again. Until today I'm not sure how water can soothe contractions! By 6am, I decided to call the hospital. Told the Midwife that my contraction was 10mins apart and I've tried relaxing in the bath but it's still constant. Midwife told me to take paracetamol and again try to just have a warm bath and call back if the contractions were 5mins apart. So I did. This time with Iskandar around just to make sure he was there to monitor. Whilst I was in the bath, my contractions were 5 mins apart. Even then we waited for about 1/2 an hour to make sure it was 5 mins apart.

Since we were very confident it was 5 mins apart contractions, we called the hospital again. This time the Midwife advised to come in for thorough check up. We were at the hospital by 7:00am. Midwife came to do thorough check at about 7:15am. I was expecting to be about 2 cm dilated as the pain was "too" bearable. I told Iskandar, if it's only 2cm I'm going home to sleep! I was so sleepy throughout the checks! The midwife was asking me questions like, how do you know you're in labour? I just said I don't know whether I am in labour or not and I wasn't even expecting it to be today. She chuckled and continued saying, well you know you are pregnant and already overdue right? I said, yeah, but I was expecting it last week and kinda forgotten about it now. She was surprise how I can be so calm and still had sense of humour because little did I know, I was already 5 cm dilated!! I thought, O Allah, how did I have the strength to bear the pain?? I was seriously surprised. Of course I had to be admitted straight away.

I was already in labour ward at 7:45am. They warded me into one of those very mobile room where I could move around and do lots of walking, squatting, rocking etc in there. However....... after further checks on my maternity notes, they noticed that I had rather high risk pregnancy (something I wasn't really being told during my pregnancy!!!!). I had what they call Polyhyrdramnios (too much amniotic fluid in the womb). When I went for a second scan around 32 weeks pregnant, they noticed that my amniotic fluid was more than normal. My midwife kept saying, it' okay and nothing to worry about. I was quite disappointed when on the day itself they classed me into "high risk pregnancy" because sadly, with all the 'mobile' gadgets they gave me in the room, I had to be strapped onto those electronic gadgets. No fun! They had to check baby's heart rate and my contraction constantly. So there I was lying on the bed, unactive!

Google

I felt so helpless and like time was dragging me down slowly! I kept asking the midwife what will happen next again and again. But I loveeeeeeeeeee how the midwives are so helpful and treat me as though I am the baby. LOL! They pampered me so much by just entertaining my annoying questions. It's amazing and you can really see that they love their job! Anyway, the next check was at 11:45am and apparently I should be about 9cm dilated by then. If I wasn't then they'll break my waterbag, so they said. Since I had too much amniotic fluid, they didn't dare to break my water because it could lead to complications. When they checked at 11:45am, I was only 7cm dilated. I've only just started on entonox gas at this time. I thought, Alhamdulillah I managed to go natural for 7cm!! They insisted on letting my waterbag break naturally. The next examination was in 4 hours (3:45pm). We waited and waited for the waterbag to break. I even fell asleep a few times while waiting. I was super duper tired! I have never imagined falling asleep during labour but I did! Around 3pm, I kept saying I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted Epidural sooooooo desperately. To be honest, I don't even know how effective epidural is but I just wanted it! :| Iskandar kept reminding me not to because I would not like the after effect of it. I thought he was being cruel. Heheh but yeah he was right. I won't like the backpain and other pains that will come with it. Even the midwife kept saying... you don't need it, you're doing just fine without it. At that time I just concentrated on breathing and used the gas.

Tick tock tick tock.... It was 3:45pm. I was just praying that I could give birth anytime now because I was absolutely shattered! They checked and I was only 8cm dilated!!!!! The agony! I'm sure it was because I didn't move that's why I couldn't dilate anymore.

Raja Aizah Layina, 1 hour old

So.... they say good things come to those who wait. Hehe So it did, good news came! They decided to break my waterbag. Willingly I said YES!!! Straight after they broke my waterbag, I said I felt like pushing. The midwife then said, do whatever your body tells you to. So I did. I pushed! Around 3:51 pm her head was OUT!!!!! I could slowly feel the relief by now. However, as I was pushing, I suddenly lost the feeling/contractions to push anymore!! Layina's shoulder was stuck! They had to call for experts and somehow they managed to pull her out safely. Alhamdulillah she was healthy and fine. They put her straight onto my chest for a skin-to-skin contact. She was crying, very red and adorable! :'( They confirmed that baby was a she. Iskandar Athan and Iqamaah at her ears whilst she was still on my chest. She was on me for a good hour whilst they sorted everything out.

Google

The only thing that went wrong during the whole labour was the way my bed was positioned. You see, during Khairaldin's labour, the midwives had to break my waterbag too. Before they broke my waterbag, they positioned my bed like in the picture and also took the entonox gas away from me. However, with Layina's birth, the midwife didn't convert my bed properly and also I was still inhaling the gas. So when I was trying to push Layina out, I was inhaling enotox gas which made me not realise I was having contractions. Also, since the bed was in lying position all along, I wasn't in a 'perfect' position to push the baby out. I was literally lying sideways when her head was out of me. So yeah, that is when the complications begin. However, I don't blame anyone for it as it is Allah's plan all along. I am so thankful, Alhamdulillah, that everything went well.

I lost a lot of blood during labour so they had to put me on IV drips straight after that. I had a few stitches and Layina had to be checked by a Peaditrician because of Polyhydramnios and also her stucked shoulder. Alhamdulillah, both of us were healthy and nothing more were needed. Well, my sleepy self wasn't sleepy at all after she was born. My intention on wanting to just sleep after the whole labour definitely wasn't fulfilled. We were too engrossed with her arrival that we had forgotten when was the last time we ate and slept. :) This is one amazing labour experience for myself and Iskandar. We had planned on a birthplan and yet everything didn't go as plan. SubhanAllah! Giving birth is one of the many things that would truly open my eyes to the words in the Quran and Hadiths. It is such an amazing experience.

My advises to all you pregnant Mommies are:

1) To make sure you have something to eat before labour. The energy will definitely help with contractions and pushing. Alhamdulillah in the amidst of preparing to go to the hospital, Iskandar managed to grab lots of kurma (dates) and zamzam water. That kept me going throughout labour since my last proper meal was at 7pm the day before.

2) Be mobile!! Walk, walk, walk and walk if you can. That will help to push the baby out. Comparing Khairaldin's 4 hours labour and Layina's 8 hours labour really shows that being mobile is the best way to help with contractions and will take your mind off clock watching. :)

Even though that day the UK was hit by the heatwave, I still didn't get the chance to do waterbirth. Since I was classified under "high risk pregnancy", I had to be strapped onto those electronic gadgets the whole time hence could not go into the water. Allah definitely had better plans for us. Alhamdulillah, I couldn't stop thinking what if I went for waterbirth and her shoulder was stuck etc etc. I am really thankful to Allah for all the plans that he had for us from Day 1 of pregnancy.

Would I do it again? Well, I told Iskandar 2 was enough but knowing the amazing deeds one could get from pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding, raising children and etc, my answer would be Insha'Allah. :)

May Allah make it easy for all of you too. May your pregnancy and labour go smoothly, Amin!!

Why 'that' name? Aizah Layina?

After announcing to everyone our first child's name- Khalid Khairaldin, we kinda got a few positive and negative remarks. Alhamdulillah there were more positive than negative remarks so it didn't really bother us that much.

 

So when it came to naming our second child, we applied the same 'technique' on how we chose Khairaldin's name. We made sure the name has good meaning, that will befit and bring blessings to the child throughout her life. As it is also stated in a Hadith, It is reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and by your fathers' names, so give yourselves good names." (Hadith Abu Dawud). So, we stuck to our principles and chose her name. Alhamdulillah, so many people fell in love with the name we have chosen which is, Aizah Layina. At first I spelt it as Aiza but in Arabic it is spelt as 'عایزه' hence there's a 'H' at the end.

What does the name mean, I hear you ask? So many people are intrigued especially with her second name. Almost everyone is calling her Layina because they love that name so much and think it's very unique. I'm so glad people chose to call her Layina because we are calling her Aizah. :) Well, Aizah means Noble and Layina means Soft or Gentle in Arabic Language.

As usual, the deal was for me to choose a girl's name and Iskandar choose a boy's name. But truthfully, I am so bad with names! I just can't decide what to name my babies. Iskandar chose both names and Alhamdulillah both of them have good names with good meanings. As we were browsing for names, Iskandar instantly liked the name Aizah. He's always wanted the meaning 'Noble'. So we settled with Aizah. And I wanted something beginning with L, somehow. Hehe I had 'Lana' in mind but I couldn't find the meaning to it and I wasn't sure if it was an Arabic name or not. So we didn't go ahead with that. Then we saw 'Layina' since the meaning is soft and gentle we thought, hey that suits her so much! Ever since in the tummy, she has been rather soft and gentle. Her movement was different to Khairaldin's. She moves really gently which you can really see every movement from outside the tummy. Then we tried to combine both names and it sounded nice and unique.

So really, that is why we chose the name Aizah Layina. Even though I had chosen a girl's name when I was carrying Khairaldin, I just feel it wouldn't suit her. The name was Lana Maria. It's got a nice sound to it but I don't know, it just wasn't Aizah Layina.

I pray that she will live up to her name and May Allah subahanahu wata a'la protect her and guide her to the right path always.  Amin!!! <3

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Pantang schmantang! :D

Famous question: "how do you 'pantang' in the UK?"

11 days after delivery.....

I have been getting this question quite a lot lately- confinement in the UK. Or as the Malays(ians) would call it 'pantang'. Let me tell you that this entry may seem like I am an anti pantang lady but truth is, I am not an anti-pantang larang lady. In fact, I'm all out for it because it gives the Mother time to recuperate and get back on their feet. It really is very helpful to confine yourself for a while because it's not easy to sort things out whilst caring for the baby and yourself. So yes, confinement is indeed good for post natal. The thing that gets to me is when people try very hard to impose unreasonable 'pantang' because 'it was pass down from our ancestors'. There are things that we should strongly do and there are also those that we have to leave behind because it only causes further burden to the mother and/or baby.

There are a few pantang that Malays(ians) impose onto newly Mom's. The pantang starts straight after delivery up to 40-100 days. It 'concentrates' on aspects such as food, drinks, the way they walk, sit, sleep, bathe etc etc. Basically every single thing newly moms do is being scrutinised. I am sure there are reasons behind the dos and don't's. I mean, I strongly agree that mothers should eat proper food to help with breastfeeding. The food Mothers eat really do help with production of breastmilk. So go ahead and eat healthily!

Here are the pantang that I feel is rather inappropriate:

1) Sleeping in separate beds with husband for 40 days or more.
To me, there shouldn't be any reason at all to sleep in separate beds with Hubby once you are married. Separating yourself from Hubby is as bad as separation. So, it's best to be there for the Husband/Wife all the time. The birth of a child shouldn't make your life with Husband any more complicated. :)

2) Shouldn't have a bath straight after delivery. 
In Islam, we should always keep our self, home and everything around us clean and tidy. After delivery, there will be an awful lots of blood flowing and really it is not clean and hygienic to let it 'stay there'. In the UK, mothers are asked to have their bath as soon as they deliver to clean themselves. Yes it hurts but it's also for the Mother's own good. If you are given the chance to have for your bath, go straight in the toilet, run the shower and niat 'mandi Wiladah', it is not a must on you, but it's best to do something with a niat.--- full explanation here. You will feel more comfortable, clean and ready to get on with the day once you have had your bath. Once you've started feeding and caring for the baby, you won't know when's the next free time you have. So, whilst the baby is still sleeping and getting used to the surrounding, have your bath and clean yourself.

3) No to iced water!
Until today, I'm still not sure why we can't drink iced water after delivery. Anyone care to explain? Coz in the UK, the only drink we are given straight after delivery is cold iced water! No such thing as warm water. And I asked the Midwife if it's ok, apparently according to her, it helps with the blood. Which is rather weird.

4) Clothe yourself with as much clothes as you can. 
Ok only exaggerating, but basically when you are in the confinement period, Malays(ians) believe that it's better if you wear cardigan over your t-shirt, with a long pants or sarong and also socks. Personally to me, being in too much clothing only makes me uncomfortable and restless. When I gave birth to Khairaldin, I had a hard time breastfeeding him because he just wouldn't wake up for milk. Then he had jaundice and my milk wasn't properly produced. I was advised by the midwife, nurses etc not to wear any clothes and to put him on my chest. It's called the skin-to-skin technique where he was more comfortable and can smell my skin. So I did as I was told. Alhamdulillah, he instantly 'looked' for milk. From then on breastfeeding was a brezze for the both of us.

5) Not to go out of the house during confinement period.
But apparently going to the doctors fot check ups is ok? The first question my midwife asked me when Khairaldin got back home was, "have you brought him out for a walk etc?" "You can't lock him in the house for long because when you start bringing him out, his antibody might not be immuned to the surrounding." And my reaction was YEAY!! Which mother would want to stay in a place for a long long time? 2 days is long enough! So hearing those advice from my midwife made me jump out of bed and straight out of the house. Fresh air from outside is very much needed at this point in time.

I think that's about the only pantang that I am not too keen of. I'm not judging those who follow each and every pantang. By all means, it's a personal choice so do whatever suits you the most. However, it is when I am being judged for not doing what is supposed to be tradition that annoys me. Following tradition blindly could cause us to sway from our already prefect religion. It is best to weigh things first before attempting to do it. Insha'Allah, Allah will guide us through the righteous path if our intention is to do so.

Human beings are different in so many ways and it's difficult to impose a certain 'way of life' onto them. I mean come on, even the Quran states what we should and shouldn't do but it's not that we follow it as we are supposed to. Hence, imposing tradition onto someone who could not fathom the idea will only upset them. Like I said, most traditions were passed down from our ancestors so, maybe at that time those traditions were relevant but in this modernised time it may not make sense anymore. Respect others for their personal choice. :)

Am I being choosy on my birth plan just because I MOSTLY prefer UK than Malaysia?

Alhamdulillah shukur, Iskandar got a job offer from one of the Islamic Banks in Malaysia. We have never planned on going back to Malaysia for 'good' but we thought, if our rezeki is there, what's the harm right? Anyway, when you are married with 1 and 1/2 child(ren), decisions have to be made in every detailed aspects. We can't just say "let's go!" just because it suits us. How about our child's education in years to come? Everything in Malaysia needs money so.... without it, you cannot live as how you want to. No doubt 'they' don't start school in about 4 years time but that 4 years will flyby! But we'll worry about that li'l later.

What I'm 'worried' about now is my birth plan. You see, in the UK, they practise 'active birth'. What it means by active birth is that when you are about 5cm dilated, you are given the choice to either sit on a rocking chair, bounce on a gym ball, walk around the room or even be in a birthing pool. So basically, you don't just lie down on the bed and wait to be fully dilated. When I talk to my Malaysian friends about their birth experience, most or if not all of them will say that they will be on the bed when they are about 5cm dilated and just wait for the 10cm/fully dilated.

From my experience, being in an active birth will make the dilation and birth quicker. I was in the labour room for approximately 4 hours. I chose to be on a rocking chair as it was easier and more stable for me. The midwife did not allow me to lay on the bed until I was really ready to push. This was really good as it took my mind off pushing even though I was in real pain. I can't imagine myself lying on the bed just waiting for the moment to push, it would be so irritating and restless!!

The second worry I have is the cost. Of course there is government hospital and I am sure that I will give birth there rather than private. I prefer it to be that way. I know with private hospitals, the nurses will care for the baby whilst the mother get their rest and baby will only be given to the Mom during feeding time. I don't think I'd be able to cope with that because to me, as soon as I give birth, I expect my baby to be with me 24-7! Yes, I am very demanding like that. The thing is, if I have the nurses to look after my baby, it would be awkward for me when I finally have the baby to myself at home. I will have to adjust myself to waking up whenever the baby cries etc. Like in the UK, as soon as I gave birth, Khairaldin was next to me all.the.time. I even had to change his diapers when he was about 12 hours old. So yeah, he was under my supervision. Which also allowed me to breastfeed him whenever I felt like it, be it every half an hour or every hour. At least I know he was there next to me when I need to pick him up and feed. I'm not sure how it works with the government hospital in Malaysia but I hope it's the same as it is in the UK.

Finally, I'm not used to having visitors surround me after I've given birth. To me, once I give birth it's the time for Iskandar and I to cherish for a while and sink in the fact we just had a child. It is definitely lovely to have visitors around but! It'll be awkward when you need to excuse yourself to breastfeed or even since I'm wearing hijab for me to be stuck in hijabi attire for a long time! It's not easy to tell people that you need space especially when they are your relative and friends. When I gave birth to Khairaldin, there was only my younger brother and eldest brother (plus family) around. So it was easy for me to do what I needed to do.

There are lots of things parents need to consider after giving birth. It is not only because of the baby's health but also the mother's body is slowly changing (breastmilk filling up etc) and it becomes rather VERY uncomfortable. It's almost impossible to tell people not to visit for the first few weeks because we need getting used to our 'new' life. Even though this is going to be my second birth, Insha'Allah, I still feel the need to have some privacy so I can get used to breastfeeding my child. I know I breastfed Khairaldin for more than a year but not all babies are the same. I'm sure I'll come across difficulties like latching baby, engorged boobs etc. Even if it's not to do with breastfeeding, I don't like it when the baby cries and people expect you to 'shut it up' within minutes. I get paranoid easily and what may seem an easy task becomes rather complicated just because I'm under the spotlight. Alhamdulillah Khairaldin was an easy baby. He rarely cries or shouts even if he was hungry. Again, not all babies are the same so I have to prepare myself physically and mentally for the worse case scenario. You know the part when your baby cries and someone 'experienced' will take the baby and immediately soothe them? I despise that, unless they are my family or in laws. Sorry, but I really do! I'm not being big headed and want to do everything myself but to me, the parents should be given the chance to 'learn' how to care and love the baby. Every mistake and accomplishment done is a lesson to the parents.

Well, at the moment, I'm still keen on giving birth in the UK. I'm not being choosy because of the doctors or midwives etc. I'm not too bothered about how qualified the doctors are when choosing which hospital to give birth at because to me, it's down to me on how smooth the delivery will be. If I don't know how to push (or read certain Surah from the Quran), it could make things complicated. So most of the hardwork comes from me and my birth partner (Iskandar) rather than the doctors or midwives. The health professionals are there to assist but mostly it's down to our preparation.

Anyways, since most of my readers are Malaysian mommies, I was just wondering, what's your experience with the hospitals that you've been to? Was it the same as in the UK? Was it a government or private hospital? Please share your experience so I will have a taste of giving birth in Malaysia. Insha'Allah. Thank you in advance for your help. :)
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SIX HOURS FORTY FIVE MINUTES!

Wowweeee! If only this time last year I knew exactly what time I was going to give birth to Khairaldin, the wait would be less anxious. No? Hehehe But anyway, this time last year, I was transferred to the labour ward. This was when I first experiences 'laughing gas' and oh yeah, I did laugh and chat a lot with the student midwife! They were so kind to actually entertain my jumpy self. hehehe

Now, Khairaldin's sound asleep on his bed and I'm gonna watch the clock to see what time he'll wake up. Does he know that it's his birthday today? Hmmmm. :)

So, the month of June 2009 Status

laid eyes on each other 7 years ago, today. Instantly fell in love and still falling in love each and every second of their life. And who would've thought that we'd be bless with a child in the same month Insha'Allah. God works in mysterious way ;-) Happy

- loving the BRIGHT YELLOW crib!!!!!!!!! Our hard work paid off :-) Now just waiting for the li'l bub to "arrive". Insha'Allah. Prayers are very much appreciated. XX

have been feeling restless and upset for no apparent reason! Need to go out and get some fresh air. (rimasssssss!)

loves the Sunshine but need some HEAVY RAIN right about now! It's tooooooooo hot and we can't stand it :-(

is getting fussier at eating & not in the mood to eat her own cooking :-( anyone wanna invite us out for lunch/dinner this whole weekend? no rice please. kthx! ;-)

can live on fruits (inc. juices & smoothies) & vegs right about now! but forcing ourselves to eat just in case we've to go into labour. NEED TO BUILD THEM ENERGY!!!!!!!

haven't had rice for 2 days and it FEELS GOOD. Best thing is,it's not us doing the cooking & cleaning up :-) Can't get used to this. erk.

reality just kicked in that we won't be going anywhere this "Summer Hols"!! Maybe London would be the farthest for us :-( NO FUN! On the bright side, looking forward to our little Sunshine keeping us occupied all day AND night, Insha'Allah.

praying that today will be my last check up with the Midwife. "Please engage by now baby." :-)

baby's engaged!!!!!!!!! Could be anytime NOW or even later if baby is too clingy with Mommy. And baby's still got "plenty" of space to grow in tummy. Gotta eat loads to fill up the space. hehe We're so excited. Do pray for us. Amin.

will be attending a Cloth Diapering/Baby event tomorrow, our first ever! Hopefully they've got nice & cheap CDs. :-D :):):):):):):) <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

The day I became Mommy....

...........It all started on Sunday, 15th June 2009. It was so called the final weekend to my pregnancy. Iskandar and I were busy sorting out the house since we won't have enough time to do so during weekdays. We vaccumed, changed our bedsheets & duvets and also washed the car. Around 5p.m, I went to the toilet and there was a "show". I didn't take much note about it because it was too little to make a big fuss about. Although to be honest, I was really excited that I had some bloody show. We went over to my brother's to wash the car and I was telling my sis in law that I had some bloody show when I peed. Sis in law then advised me to give he hospital a ring just to make sure that baby's still A-OK in there. I should have known that during pregnancy you have to make a big fuss about almost anything and everything because there's life in there that you can't monitor on your own.When we got home about 9p.m, I felt a slight "contraction" (note: at this point I still did not know that it was contractions). I asked Iskandar to monitor the contractions for the whole hour. It was going on for about 10 minutes apart. He asked me to give the hospital a ring but I resisted because I didn't wanna be those false alarm people. I didn't trust his monitor so I had to write down the contractions as and when it came. To my surprise, it was 10 minnutes apart.

We then decided to give the hospital a call to make sure that everything's OK, what more with the bloody show I had in the evening. About midnight I rang the hospital and told the midwife my situation. She then asked us to come in for a thorough check because I had some blood coming out of me already. So we went and waited to be seen by the midwife. By the time we saw the midwife it was already around 2a.m. At first I didn't want to go to the hospital because Iskandar was working the next day but silly me obviously the baby comes first before his work! Around 3a.m, the Midwife's confirmed that the bloody show was only urinary infection and there was nothing to worry about. As for the contraction-like, it was really slight contractions and I was at that time 1 cm dilated. They couldn't admit us into the hospital because I wasn't 4cm dilated. So we were sent back home. I was so disappointed as I am now one of the false alarm people! hahaha

Moving on, around 4:30a.m, my contractions became more frequent and I couldn't fall asleep. Iskandar (yet again!!) insisted on me calling the Midwife to let her know how frequent it was. According to me, it was about 5 minutes apart, but I think I was slightly exaggerating then. :-) Midwife asked us to come in for a check again and now I was 2cm dilated. Although I wasn't 4cm dilated, the Midwife insisted on keeping us in, we were then admitted into the triage. Midwife also explained that because of urinary infection, the contractions and dilation will be very inconsistent so they have to monitor baby every now and then. I was given some "painkillers" (it was only cocodomal, which honestly works like a paracetamol to me; no effects!). Managed to get some rest whilst in our room because we were superbly tired. Pity Iskandar because he was really knackered and had to sleep on the chair! Baby's heartbeat etc was being checked every 3 hours. During midday, I was really in pain. Midwife asked me to go for a bath since the painkiller wasn't working on me. Surprisingly, after a warm bath I didn't have any contractions for about 3 hours straight. I slept straight through.

However, late evening, the contractions started again and this time it was every 3-4minutes. We went in the bath again but this time it didn't help. Bugged the midwife to get me checked just in case my dilation has now increased. Around 10p.m I was already 4cm dilated. This only means we can be admitted into the labour ward. Got ourself a bed at the labour ward at around 1a.m. I was already on Enotox at this stage. Iskandar said that I was inhaling it like nobody's business and it was "funny" how I reacted the whole time on Enotox. heheheh Yeah, I guess funny for some. After being high on drugs for a bit, Midwife came in to break my water (apparently that's their policy). By 2a.m my waterbroke and I seriously have no idea what I felt at this stage.

Around 3+a.m. I remember telling the student Midwife that I need to go for a poo. hahah I was literally shouting at her that I need to poo. She insisted that I don't need to go to the toilet and it was just some sort of pressure.During my pregnancy I planned to go for waterbirth but the reason I didn't go for water birth was because I felt really chilly and I had to be 4cm dilated. By the time I was 4cm dilated, I totally forgot about water birth and my dilation was so constant. I was sitting on a rocking chair at this stage and kept complaining that I was tired and wanted to have a nap. The student midwife said that I had to keep rocking so that the baby will "fall" and my cervix will be fully dilated. I think at that time I was already fully dilated and baby was all ready to come out of me (notice his crowning in some of his picture). Around 5a.m, my Midwife came in and I told her I was tired and I wanna be on the bed. She then checked me and said I was fully dilated and have to start pushing! They tried to take the Enotox of me but I was being rather "rude" and snatched it back from them. hehehe Well, things you do during labour. Once I was off the Enotox, my Midwife started explaining how to push. I kept screaming that it was soooo painful and my Midwife was rather sweet to entertain my behaviour. She was telling me she knows how painful it is but I have to carry on pushing or else I have to go for emergency C-Sect or the DR has to come in to force the baby out. Baby's heartrate was really low and the Midwives were really anxious at this time. (See, I told you baby wanted out for a longgggg time!). I managed to push baby out of me in roughly 45minutes. :-)

Once the baby was out of me, NOONE (not even Iskandar) actually told me that it was a boy/girl. The Midwife onlysaid that "He's doing well and being cheked now" 5 minutes after delivery. I then said, "oh, it's a BOY?". Midwife was startled and asked, "you didn't know?". Hahaha I find that rather amusing because I was at the end of the bed and how am I supposed to know?? But I guess she presumed we've scanned and knew what we're carrying. hehehe

So, that's my labour story. If anyone were to ask me what's the pain like, personally, I think it's bearable and I'll definitely do it again. I would also say that going au-naturel is better than having any sort of drugs because the pain after giving birth is so much worse. If you can bear the labour pain, you can definitely bear any sort of pain. I'm glad I wasn't surrounded with people who claims labour is such a painful stage etc etc. Because really, it's not as bad as how some people would say. If you come in with absolutely clueless yet positive minded, I bet you can do it in a few minutes!

Above all, I have to say that Iskandar was such a gem throughout the whole labour & hospital stay. He was keeping me calm by telling me that I've had a superb pregnancy and this pain is only for a while. Telling me that throughout the 9 months I didn't have any sort of pain and to bear this pain during the last stage is definitely fair. He also tried to count the number of days I was pregnant to make sure I fully understand that a few hours pain is absolutely nothing! hehehe He made me laugh & cry on how sweet he's been throughout the pregnancy & labour. Definitely hormones took the best of me on the crying part, but I really appreciate what he has done for me. I could never look back and complain about anything that he's done. He's a gem and I'm glad we went through this together.

Note to all: Your labour partner plays an important role during labour. He/she has to be someone who understands you so much in order for you to go on with the labour rather less painful. :-)

Also, thank you to all of you who reminded me to read any sorts of prayers and Surahs during the labour. During my contractions, I was reciting Surah Yassin & Luqman constantly. Also in the labour room, we played Surah Maryam, Luqman, Yassin and Yusof and that really helped me to calm down.

So, second birth story anytime soon? ;-)