Newborn checklist

I have been getting a few PMs from Mommies-to-be wanting to know what things to buy for their newborn baby. I was 'chosen' because I am a SAHM and our household income is rather low. So a few of you are wondering how we managed to do so. To begin with, I live with my parents, so most of the household stuffs are paid for by them so we only buy things for ourselves and 'the baby'. Four months before Khairaldin's debut, I was made redundant from work. So I was really in the only get-the-necessity attitude. At that time we could not spend much so we really made sure whatever we get is for a long term period and not for a few weeks old and that's it.

Anyway, it's been almost a year ago since I bought stuffs for 'new arrival' baby. I might miss out some important stuffs needed so it's best if you Mommies have a few lists in hand to just compare with mine. :) I got my list from Iza, who recommended me Mothercare's baby checklist. As you can see below, the list have all the so called "necessities". Even though it's too detailed, I find that Mothercare lists down almost everything you need to have to welcome your baby for the first 3 months. These items listed is to get you Mommies prepared for the first 3 months. Once you've got used to having th baby around, I think you'd be able to go out shopping for more items. But these are essentials and to stop you from worrying on what to get whilst you're on confinement. Insha'Allah.

Credits: Mothercare Malaysia

Before I break the lists down into sections, I'd just like to tell you Mommies that it might be easier if you have decided on what type of parenting skills you want to practise. For instance, are you into natural parenting (ie; co-sleeping, cloth diapering, babywearing and breastfeeding) or conventional parenting (ie; sleeping in a cot, disposable diapers, pushchairs and bottle-feed). If you are into conventional parenting, I could only say that you are reading the wrong blog because being a SAHM you tend to practise natural parenting due to not so luxurious funds coming in at the end of the month. ;) But if you want to try both natural and conventional, then probably you will be able to get some ideas about the things to buy. Just in case, I raised Khairaldin fully natural parenting. So, I couldn't advise on things like disposable diapers, push chairs and bottle feed. Sorry.

Now, lets break the list down.

Baby clothes
6-8 sleepsuits
6-8 bodysuits3-4 daywear outfits
2-3 pairs socks2-3 scratch mitts
2-3 hats
The maximum number stated is definitely the maximum and it'll be more than enough to last you for the first 3 months. Bear in mind, people will be giving gifts and somehow they tend to buy sizes from 0-3 months. The other reason why you shouldn't buy too much of 0-3 months sizes is also because the baby gains weight rather quickly. You might be able to use the 0-3 months clothes up to 3 months or you might have to start using 3-6 months sizes after baby is 2 months old (that's what happens with Khairaldin). YES, it is very hard not to buy those cute little outfits but in the end of the day, you wouldn't wanna waste it as well, would you?

Nursery
Ok we chose to sleep with Khairaldin in the same room hence co-sleeping. So we haven't got any nursery/baby room. If you Mommies wish to sleep seperately with your baby then probably you could pick from the list the essential things. However, if you are planning to co-sleep (either on the same bed or room) then here's my list:

Baby crib (we only used this when he was about 4months old)
Snuggle nest (I didn't know the existance of this thing until I saw my sister using it. Truthfully, I think it's very practical as you don't have to wake up to constantly check if baby's blanket is covering his/her face or even if you are actually sleeping on baby. I would highly recommend it!)

Oh yeah, when Khairaldin turned 6 months, we had him sleeping on a 'proper' bed since his crib was too small for him. This bed could last him until he's 12 years old if he doesn't grow tall so quickly! :) You can either opt for extandable or non-extandable. We chose the non-extandable because we had enough space in the room. My nephew has been using the same type of bed from 6 months until he's 12 now. All we need to do is change the mattress every 4 years or so as it'll get flat by probably 4 years time. A few people questioned whether he doesn't fall from the bed since it's not a baby cot (no rails etc). Alhamdulillah, ever since he started crawling he's only fell off my bed a couple of times. He's never fallen off his bed. Every morning he'd crawl till the edge of his bed and 'call' me (not even cry!). Somehow, that'll wake me up. I'll pick him up and breastfeed him and back onto his own bed. No fuss. Alhamdulillah. I guess it's all about training and all of us will get into a routine.

I don't really fancy babycots because of its rails. Looks like they're in a cage! No offence, that's my point of view. :)

Feeding

If breastfeeding is your way, then read these entries first.

So the ultimate and important accessory would be...
BREAST PUMP (I bought Ameda Lactaline Personal Dual pump)

Most people, including yours truly, chose to buy breast pump after the baby is born only because I thought there was no neccesity as baby hardly drinks anything. Boy was I wrong! During the third day, if you are lucky, earlier, your breasts start to produce milk. Since baby doesn't or couldn't drink much at an early stage, your breast will become engorged as there's milk but it's not coming out. Imagine having to wee and can't find any toilet to let it go. Same case scenario, only more painful! Since baby could not take all of the produced milk in his/her tummy and the breast needs to be emptied, the only way to do it is to pump it all out. The good thing about breast pump is also that your milk production will become su fficient for a very long time. I've known a few friends who started pumping after baby's about 3 months and it's been really hard for them to get the milk to produce sufficiently. So after a few months, breastmilk becomes lesser and lesser. For working Mom's also, breast pump is the essential gadget.

It's up to you whether you want to buy milk storage bags or bottles. In my case, I didn't as I wasn't planning to work anytime soon. Khairaldin also doesn't like to drink from bottle so almost all of my breast milk was thrown away after pumping. However, both Iskandar and I doesn't see this as wastage because our main intention is to not get any sore boo bies and also to make sure the milk produce sufficiently. In the end of it, since Khairaldin hates bottle, we see no point keeping it for no reason. Alhamdulillah even with throwing away that much of milk, I still managed to feed him until today (9 months ++ and counting). Alhamdulillah.

Travel

Until today, I still don't own a pushchair/pram or whatever. I don't even know the difference. Hehe So, I'll leave that bit for you Mommies to decide. However, if you want to know more about babywearing, do not hesitate to ask Adriana (can Adrin?) she's the PR for Malaysian Baby Wearers so I'm sure she knows a great deal! I've only tried Ring Slings and SSC but Adriana has almost every single babywearing items. She's either tried and tested or owned it. Hehehe So, she's definitely the right person to speak to. :)

I highly recommend you Mommies to buy a CARSEAT! Safety first Moms and not forgetting, it'll only make life so much easier when you train them from small!!!! Since we didn't know our baby's sex, we bought the Ferrari carseat. Coz we thought if it's a girl, Red would be fine and if it's a boy, Ferrari will shout I'm a boy! Hahah Also our carseat lasts up to 4 years old. So that's why we bought that instead of Maxi Cosi etc, which probably lasts till 1year old the most.

Changing bag
I did buy one but hardly ever used it. I'd rather have a huge handbag to stuff everything in it. Since we also don't have a pushchair, it was easier for me to have my handbag and wear Khairaldin. So if you do a lot of travelling, then this is one of the essential.

Bathtime

We bought almost everything listed on Mothercare list. Except for non-slip bath mat, top and tail bowl, bath support and changing mat. Most changing bag now includes changing mat, so double check before buying. For the soaps etc, we bought the skincare set, lasts until now.

Playtime

Cot mobile

Play swing
As soon as your baby's eye can open, it's best to hang toys above his cot or your bed. I didn't train Khairaldin's eye to look at toys from a distance and apparently he's a bit 'juling'. So it's best to train the baby straight away. We have a few mobiles now on his bed to get him trained. Insha'Allah.

Play swing or baby bouncer is rather important if there's only the two of you in the house. When I was on my 'confinement' my MIL was around for 2 weeks but after that it's just Iskandar, Khairaldin and I. After Iskandar finished his paternity leave, it's only Khairaldin and I at home. So in order to get with the day to day job, I had to put Khairaldin in a play swing to keep him entertained for a while. That got the job done. If you are used to babywearing, you can also wear baby whilst doing housework. But I didn't have the guts to do it then. hehehe

Others

Changing unit
Baby monitor

Seriously, I think changing table is a MUST have item! I don't know if it's just me or what, but I get sore back from bending down to change Khairaldin's diaper or after his bath. It's better if baby's high up and you don't need to bend much. After pregnancy and delivery, your body just become very sensitive. So take good care of it, girls!

As for baby monitor, we didn't get any coz the house in UK is small enough and we can hear him scream even when we're downstairs. I think it's an essential when you are in Malaysia. I'm not sure, double check with other Mommies.

Diapers

12 cloth diaper covers
16-24 inserts

For the first 6 months before baby's on solids, you probably need 8-10 diapers A DAY! Or even, they're being changed every 3 hours for the first 6 months, at least. So depending on how hardworking you are, I think 12 cloth diapers should be enough. Once you get up in the morning, put the diapers in the washing machine. If you hang it by 9am, diapers should be ready to be used by 12pm. It is that quick and easy!

That is all I have or can remember at this time. If other Mommies have anything to add, please do leave your comments in the comment box. It could definitely be of some help to the new Mommies.

Till then, have fun shopping for your little ones! :)

Malaysian citizen, soon..

We will be in London on Sunday & Monday! This is probably our 3rd time going to London this year and it's only March! I hope this will be the end, at least for this year. But apparently one of Iskandar's friend is coming over in May or June. Blegh. I never liked London as it's really a hectic city. Everyone's in a rush, somehow. I hate how we've to walk from one place to the other. The only thing I look forward to is, Iskandar wearing Khairaldin all day! Heheh He's never worn Khairaldin because when we tried once he just ended up screaming (Khairaldin that is). So both of them became restless. Today, Iskandar put him in the SSC and he was jumping away! That's a good sign. Insha'Allah. He's too heavy for me to carry all day. For an hour or 2, I'm ok but not all day. :) Obviously push chair is not even an option when you are in London!!! Going up and down the tube station? Torture! :D

Anyway, after 9 months, we are finally registering Khairaldin as a Malaysian citizen. We'll also be doing his passport since we are planning to go back to Malaysia Insha'Allah this year. So better get it sorted straight away while we are there. We're so excited to see his first passport picture! I still have my first passport picture and I was smiling away when the picture was taken. I thought u're not supposed to smile when taking passport picture or is that not true? I hope he'll be okay with other people taking his picture furthermore it'll be first thing in the morning!! Uh-oh!

So, this will be my last blog for this week. Willl be back on Tuesday. Insha'Allah. Oh having said that, I'll be busy baby sitting my brother's kids starting next week. Might blog about that when I'm free. As for now, have a great weekend all! :)
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A wife..... in Islam

I find it funny how people perceives a 'perfect' wife as someone who cooks and cleans up after the husband! If you're not one of those people, you're definitely not doing a wifey duty, so they say. Since I don't cook AND clean up after Iskandar, I am perceived as the non wifey material. Heh, very typical! Not that I care much since truthfully, it's how he perceives me as being the PERFECT one :) After all, he chose to marry me even after my Mom told him plenty of time that I don't cook and I definitely don't do housework ;) So, he had a choice and he still chose ME!

Anyway, I am a self-proclaimed Stay At Home Mom but that doesn't mean I am not a wife at the same time. Isn't it obvious that I am also fulfilling my wife 'job'? Iskandar is not complaining for all I care. Iskandar spoils me, like, A LOT!!! Till a point where my parents think I am being lazy! :D When actually, my husband is the one wanting to do these things for me. Iskandar cooks for me because when we went for our 'kursus kahwin' the Ustaz said, "the raw food that you bring home for your wife is not considered as nafkah until it's being cooked. Because she can't eat raw food". So nafkah is fulfilled when the husband cooks the food for the wife and she becomes a happy bunny ;). However, that doesn't mean that it's not fulfilled if the wife's cook for the husband. Of course the wife can help out and cook for the family, of course she can. In my case, my husband loves cooking hence he's always in the kitchen before me. Is that wrong? Definitely NOT! Iskandar also does the house chores because he doesn't want me to do 'heavy' things like vacuuming etc because that's a 'man job', according to him. Although, once in a while, I do vacuum the house but he'll bring the vacuum upstairs and downstairs. Also, whenever he cleans up, he'll get very detail and can spend hours doing it. When he needs help though, he'll shout for me.

When it comes to Khairaldin, it's a full time job for me. From when Khairaldin wakes up until he goes to bed, I deal with him. I feed him, change his diapers and bathe him since the day he was born. Iskandar probably have cleaned and fed Khairaldin a hand full of time. But we are absolutely fine with it. We are fair! He deals with the house chores and I deal with the baby. That's the most fair thing to work with in a relationship. Doesn't mean I stay at home I have to do every single thing. He knows that taking care of a baby is the toughest job anyone could ask for. That's why he tries his very best to decrease my 'work load'. Since I am on the topic, let me quote a hadith Authenticated by Abu Ya'ly and al-Bazzar "Women came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said 'O Messenger of Allah, men have taken away all the bounty of jihad. What work can we do to earn a bounty equal to jihad? He answered 'Running the household of your husbands will bring each one of you equal reward as that of the warriors in the way of Allah'. But they were not satisfied and asked Sallama (the nurse of Prophet's son Ibrahim) to raise the similar issue. Prophet (PBUH) then reassure her that women's work, ESPECIALLY, carrying, breast-feeding and rearing a child has rewards unavailable to men.

Clearly, if people actually 'research' they would know that it's never been mentioned that a wife's job is to cook for the husband but in fact, is to make sure that he he is actually fully satisfied with the relationship. So yeah, what happens behind closed should remain behind closed doors. Even though Iskandar spoils me, I am sure he's never come to a point of being a 'dayus' husband. Alhamdulillah. We try our very best to lead an Islamic lifestyle. He constantly remind me that in Islam, "The wife's duties do not require her to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide food for the wife, older children, and servants (if possible) to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband."

In the end of the day, if you are both happy with your lifestyle then, be it. It is up to Allah to judge whether one is being a 'worthy' wife or not. Also, I am very proud to announce to the world that my husband cooks and clean for me, because he is capable and he's doing a righteous deed for his family. Alhamdulillah, I am very blessed to have Iskandar in my life and I am very sure he feels the same way regardless of what people say :).

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LC

Finally, I have a dream and I am gonna pursue IT!!!! I am determined and think it's time I get back on track. Ya Allah, please help me achieve this dream as you're the only one that can lessen my burden. Amin!!!

Please pray for me, girls. When I have further info, I'll announce. But as for now, let us all pray hard for my dream to come true. :)

9 months and counting, Insha'Allah.

Khairaldin turn 9 months today!! Time flies when he's already out of the womb but when he was in the womb, 9 months felt...... ages! :) He's now got his 2 lower central incisor teeth!!! We were expecting him to start teething when he's one, since the whole family started teething after 1 year old. But not him. Hehe

Anyway, THREE months time, it'll be his FIRST birthday, Insha'Allah!!!! At this point of time, I'm really glad that we are living in the UK, where birthday party is NOT like a wedding celebration. Also, family & friends are very limited so we don't have to spend loadsssss on his first birthday. I'm not planning to do a grand party as it's only his first. He won't remember that much/anything on the day. I wouldn't wanna waste people's money by buying him gifts that he won't appreciate. I can imagine him playing with the wrapping papers and boxes rather than the toys! So it will only be a family only party as obviously he doesn't have any friends. Khairaldin is also not very friendly if he sees unfamiliar faces. So I'd rather him have fun than hanging onto me all day long! Inviting strangers will only make him agitated, so what's the point. Alhamdulillah his birthday is during Summer which means, BBQ party! The kids can make a mess outdoor rather than indoor!!! Hehehe

How do you Malaysian parents keep up with the 'competition' in Malaysia or precisely, KL? I've seen friends celebrating their child's birthday like as though it's a wedding celebration. Isn't birthday about celebrating the memories of giving birth a year ago? To me, quiet family time is the best way to go. Until Khairaldin have his own friends, his birthday will only be celebrated within very very close family + friends. As he grows up, his birthday parties will be strictly amongst his friends or how he wants it to be since he's spend that much time with family when he was younger. Hehehe But saying that, I'm only gonna do parties during special years, not every year. :)

PS: Need to write often as my grammar is going haywire :S

Being old is tough....

My parents are not feeling well. Both are down with sinusitis + tonsillitis :( Everytime they are down with something, it just breaks my heart to pieces. Not being dramatic, but my mom always say, 'we are old, every little disease is an excuse for Allah to take us closer to HIM'. How can that not break your heart??! Arghhhhh! I pray that they'll recover soon. Hate to see them suffer and being so helpless. :(

"Ya Allah, only you know what's best for them. I can't stand seeing them just stay in their room all day. It's very unlike them. Please give them the strength to fight this disease. We seek guidance only from you as you know what's best!!" Amiin.

I pray hard that they'll recover before their flight to Malaysia. They need the strength to travel to spread the words of Islam. Insha'Allah.
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First tooth :B

Khairaldin's first tooth made its apperance yesterday! Alhamdulillah it was rather smooth and painless (we think!). It was a mere coincidence when I found out that he had his tooth. I was trying to take something out of his mouth and suddenly felt something sharp. To my surprise it was a tooth!!!! Iskandar just finished dinner at that time so he couldn't feel it straight away to confirm that it's a tooth. After he's washed his hand, he touched and confirmed it is a tooth. Hahahaha Yes, we were so excited!!!! Told my parents about it and they started feeling it as well. My dad even said, "take a picture of it and enlarge it!!!" I can't see him saying something like that when it comes to us. Hehehe I love looking at them getting excited about Khairaldin and any of the grandchildren. It's such an 'awwwwwww' moment everytime they are excited about their grandchildren.

It's such a relief he's not down with high temperature. He was down with cold and very slight fever but I think that was from our bug (we were both down for a few days). Other than that, he's still happy and chirpy as his normal self. Alhamdulillah. I can see that my boy will grow up to be very independent Insha'Allah. He seems to handle and do things on his own. A big Alhamdulillah to that!

So now, I have to be alert and make sure he doesn't bite :D Oh yeah, can't wait to take pics of his first tooth. Very very very excited!
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Randommmmmmmm

Is it wrong or even weird to actually LOVE being pregnant? I could say that I had a tremendously easy pregnancy with Khairaldin and because of that I don't regret being pregnant. Now, he's like a really behaved baby and makes me wanna make more babies like him :) I don't know, I love being pregnant. I feel like a woman when I'm pregnant.

I got pregnant 9 months after we got married and next week, Khairaldin turns 9 months. I can't get pregnant every 9 months now can I!!! So I won't let my 'hormones' take control of me. Hehehe

So, any of u out there just love being pregnant and 'newly' mom all over again or is it just me? :S
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Part 2: Are you ACTUALLY having any SEX???!!

Remember my entry about people.constantly.asking.if.

you're.pregnant.or.not? Yes, that entry. Basically, that entry was mostly through my experience and hear-says hence it was merely my personal vent ;) There was no hard based evidence in that entry.

So anyway, as I was reading the book about family planning, they coincidentally had a chapter on that 'type' of people. Basically, in the chapter he (the author) mentioned that people have misconceptions about getting married. Most people think that you get married to have babies. With his 'evidences' from the Quran, it not only strengthen my points but made me realise, what is the world getting into, why can't we think more like a Muslim?

In the Quran, Al-Roum (30:21) it's been mentioned "And one of (Allah's) sign is, that He has created for you mates from yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and has ordained between you Love and Mercy". In another Surah Al-A'raf (7:189) "It is He who created you from a single soul and therefrom did make his mate, that he might dwell in tranquilty with her."

Ironically, what this Sura' is trying to point out is that, Allah asks us to get married (when the time comes) and be merry and celebrate love with your partner. Both Sura' did not mention about children or procreation. It only suggests tranquility as an overall purpose of marriage! This is the case because everyone can achieve tranquility BUT not all couples are fertile. Allah knows best. So, Allah wants us to enjoy the marriage for as long as we want until we are ready to have babies (but actually it is HE who knows that we are ready and showering us with the baby(ies)).

However, procreation is important to maintain the human race. Other verses in the Quran do mention procreation; Surah Al-Nahl (16:72) "And Allah has made for you mates from yourselves and made for you out of them, children and grandchildren". Without a doubt procreation is an expectation in marriage but it is not its exclusive purpose. Even when procreation takes place, it should only help to support and endorse tranquility rather than disrupt them. Certain people are happier with having baby(ies) in their life therefore they would want to have the baby soonest. If that makes them happier, by all means, Allah is so much happier for them :)

Surprise surprise, this is where Islam differs to other religion. In other religion, procreation is the exclusive purpose of marital relations. So to those who still go through those annoying questions, it's time you stood up and say "we are enjoying our tranquility!" Or even, highlight them to the Sura' mentioned. Hehehe

It is now clear that marriage and family formation in Islam require a good deal of planning. Since we have to consider (ie; planning) so many things before getting married like health wise, money wise, the type of wife etc etc. Then, it is only fair to also plan on when to have child(ren). In the end of it all, always always remember that Allah knows what's best for us all. Insha'Allah, we can only plan but the decision is only in HIS hand.

Insha'Allah there will be more open minded people in our generations. :) Thank you all for reading and contributing. Jazakallahu Khairan (May Allah s.w.t grant you goodness).
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