Part 2: Are you ACTUALLY having any SEX???!!

Remember my entry about people.constantly.asking.if.

you're.pregnant.or.not? Yes, that entry. Basically, that entry was mostly through my experience and hear-says hence it was merely my personal vent ;) There was no hard based evidence in that entry.

So anyway, as I was reading the book about family planning, they coincidentally had a chapter on that 'type' of people. Basically, in the chapter he (the author) mentioned that people have misconceptions about getting married. Most people think that you get married to have babies. With his 'evidences' from the Quran, it not only strengthen my points but made me realise, what is the world getting into, why can't we think more like a Muslim?

In the Quran, Al-Roum (30:21) it's been mentioned "And one of (Allah's) sign is, that He has created for you mates from yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and has ordained between you Love and Mercy". In another Surah Al-A'raf (7:189) "It is He who created you from a single soul and therefrom did make his mate, that he might dwell in tranquilty with her."

Ironically, what this Sura' is trying to point out is that, Allah asks us to get married (when the time comes) and be merry and celebrate love with your partner. Both Sura' did not mention about children or procreation. It only suggests tranquility as an overall purpose of marriage! This is the case because everyone can achieve tranquility BUT not all couples are fertile. Allah knows best. So, Allah wants us to enjoy the marriage for as long as we want until we are ready to have babies (but actually it is HE who knows that we are ready and showering us with the baby(ies)).

However, procreation is important to maintain the human race. Other verses in the Quran do mention procreation; Surah Al-Nahl (16:72) "And Allah has made for you mates from yourselves and made for you out of them, children and grandchildren". Without a doubt procreation is an expectation in marriage but it is not its exclusive purpose. Even when procreation takes place, it should only help to support and endorse tranquility rather than disrupt them. Certain people are happier with having baby(ies) in their life therefore they would want to have the baby soonest. If that makes them happier, by all means, Allah is so much happier for them :)

Surprise surprise, this is where Islam differs to other religion. In other religion, procreation is the exclusive purpose of marital relations. So to those who still go through those annoying questions, it's time you stood up and say "we are enjoying our tranquility!" Or even, highlight them to the Sura' mentioned. Hehehe

It is now clear that marriage and family formation in Islam require a good deal of planning. Since we have to consider (ie; planning) so many things before getting married like health wise, money wise, the type of wife etc etc. Then, it is only fair to also plan on when to have child(ren). In the end of it all, always always remember that Allah knows what's best for us all. Insha'Allah, we can only plan but the decision is only in HIS hand.

Insha'Allah there will be more open minded people in our generations. :) Thank you all for reading and contributing. Jazakallahu Khairan (May Allah s.w.t grant you goodness).
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

The best addiction ever, ever!

I'm addicted to my 'baby' boy! I can watch him all day long! I guess that's why I'm a SAHM. ;) funny thing is, I don't feel like he's a baby ever since he can sit on his own. He looks so big & independent! Alhamdulillah.

Anyways, he's slowly trying to crawl. Getting there eventually, Insha'Allah. Everytime he hears my parents' voice he'll look at the door and wanting to crawl. I can imagine the madness once he can crawl from one room to the other. But I definitely can't wait for that to happen. He's just so precious :)

He's such a good boy it's unreal! I'm trying to get him to sit next to me everytime I pray because my parents are going back to Malaysia for 6 weeks. So it'll be easier for me to 'monitor' him. And guess what, he's in the same seating position from when I start till finish praying. Brilliant! So far no climbing and wanting horsey kinda thing. Hehehe

Anyhoots, just a short update before I start with my longer posts. Hehehe don't wanna tire you all ;)

PS: Khairaldin, you're a gem :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Islam is a religion FOR planning!

Al-Qamar (Sura 54:49)- We have created everything according to a LAW!

Before I start this entry, I would like y'all to read it with an open mind and decide for yourselves (in light of the evidences). As you know, guidance comes from Allah and not anyone else. So, it's best we ask HIM to guide us to the straight path, Ameen!!

Personally, I've always wanted to know the best way to 'plan' for babies. I remember when I was in school, we were being taught that contraception is Haraam. Reason being, it's like we are trying to 'play' god. So I was thinking, if all Muslims don't plan, won't they end up with one too many babies? Hmmm. Since Khairaldin was born until recently, we were playing it safe as I'm not ready to have another one but at the same time, we didn't take any type of contraception thinking that it was Haraam. It came to a point where I was 'scared' I might get pregnant, because I am not ready (if you've been following my blog you would notice this! Hehehe).

One day, I followed Iskandar to his Uni library. As he was browsing for his books I thought I might as well grab some books to fill my too much spare time. Hehehe Then, this book caught my eye 'Family planning in the legacy of Islam'. I read the sypnosis and thought, MUST read further! So I asked him to borrow the book for me. Guess what, I managed to finish it within a few hours. :) Only because I was too determined. I didn't manage to blog about it earlier as I was scared I might deliver it differently to the book. Thus, when you read this, it is mostly my understanding on what I've read. If any of you are clueless or need more info, don't hesitate to ask. I can always check back with the book. Insha'Allah.

Basically the book starts with saying, 'the Qur'an reveals no text prohibiting the prevention of pregnancy'. During Prophet's (S.A.W) time, there are several traditions that indicates its permissibility. One of it was called al-azl (coitus interruptus) where the husband ejaculates outside the wife's vagina. Different Mazhabs have different views about contraception, however, Prophet (S.A.W) knew that his sahaba was practising al-azl but never prohibited it. Therefore, contraception is lawful as stated above.

The use of contraceptive methods have to be of a mutual agreement between husband & wife. There are a few acceptable reasons for preventing pregnancy:

1) Preservation of the wife's beauty & fitness, protecting her from the dangers of labour
2) Need to avoid economic embarrassment (not able to support the family)
3) To allow breast feeding time for at least 2 years old (danger of changed milk from a pregnant mother)

The question became rather 'heated' because of modern contraceptive methods (male/female condoms, pills, calendar method etc etc). Some say that taking pills are like killing the babies or even IUD makes you STOP conceiving. This has been noted that as long as it's for temporary period of time, then it is permitted. There has been cases that people with IUD could still get conceive. Hence, it is not a permanent impairment to fertility. However, permanent impairment of fertility is a definite no-NO, for instance sterilisation! The reason temporary methods are allowed is because we still rely on Allah (tawakkal) to take control of what happens next. In the end of the day, if Allah wills to create a soul, NO ONE can stop Him. The other reason is also because the semen in itself is not yet a human being, therefore there is no harming or killing happens in that stage. It only prevents the semen from mingling with the ovum. ;)

Islam is not only a religion. It is also a social system, a culture and civilisation. So, it has it values, ideals and goals. It is a religion of ease, not hardship, moderation, planning and of course a religion for ALL times. No matter how the world is changing, Islam can always accommodate to it.
As we know parents have their rights in parenting skills. However, children also have their rights and this is even before they were born. The ten paramount rights of children in Islam:

1) The right of genetic purity (they have the right to born with no actual or potential genetic disorders. If parents happen to know that they have genetic disorder, this is the ONLY reason they can opt to get a sterilisation in order to not have any children)
2) The right to life (Islam prohibits killing a child for ANY reason at all!)
3) The right to legitimacy & good name (Self explanatory, yeah?)
4) The right to breast feeding, shelter, maintenance & health care
5) The right to separate sleeping arrangements for children (Authenticated by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, instruct your children in prayer at age SEVEN, punish them if they fail to practice at age TEN, and let them sleep separately from one another)
6) The right to future security (Sahih Al-Bukhari: To leave your heirs rich is better than leaving them dependent upon people's charity)
7) The right to religious training and good upbringing (parents are RESPONSIBLE for instilling their children religious beliefs of Islam.)
8) The right to education and training in sports and self defence.
9) The right to equitable treatment regardless of gender.
10) The right that their supports comes only from legitimate sources.

So, if we can't fulfil the children's right by all means we can practise family planning. However like I mentioned, if Allah wants a child to be conceived, it will. Even contraception pills are said to be 99.9% accurate, apparently. Even Mary managed to have Isa without any sexual intercourse. Take or do what you want but in the end, it all comes down to our creator. If he wants to give us more, there's just no stop to it. For every child, there's always rezeki to it. Insha'Allah.

Hopefully, you guys have managed to grasp some ideas about family planning in Islam as much as I have. Sorry for whatever mistakes being said in this entry as I've tried my best to make it as easy to understand :)

***Insha'Allah I will blog further on children's right (Number 5 to be precise). It made me think for a moment and I now don't look down upon people who have 2-3 children even if they are planning. Because in Islam, sleeping pattern in children is a right on its own. Will continue soon, Insha'Allah.

Contraceptive pills picture was googled, not mine. :D
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Sleep

I love taking picture of Khairaldin when he's asleep. He looks so angelic and ahhhh, just make me wanna hug him real tight!

He's now officially slept on his own bed. But I definitely miss having him in between us. :( He's bed is just next to mine but it's just not the same. When he's sleeping next to me, he loves to come realllllll close. I love it! So I make it a must that he sleeps with us on the bed during his morning/afternoon nap.

My boy has grown so much! He's taking most of the space on our bed that's why we don't let him sleep in between us at night. Or else, we'll wake up with sore back and neck. But the few hours we get is more than enough to overcome our 'missing' him period :)

Enjoy the pics!

Ps: will update about the contraception 'story' soon. Just need to get my facts right :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Family planning...

Will be occupied this weekend with some SERIOUS reading. I've always wanted to know the Islamic way on family planning and child rearing. So, Iskandar borrowed this book from his library and I'm determined to finish and blog about it. I will definitely share because this book actually answers most questions any Muslim ladies have about birth control.

One of the famous question:
'Is birth control a form of killing ie, does it come under the meaning of the verse 'Do not kill your children in fear of want'?

To be continued........ Insha'Allah I'll be back by Monday :)

Enjoy your weekend and I heard it is a long weekend in Malaysia right? So put your feet up and just chill!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Mind over matter

Alright, is it just me or is it weird when people contemplate on whether to breastfeed or formula feed their baby? I have never thought that a mother could actually think about feeding formula milk to their baby even before the baby is born.

When I went for my antenatal class before, we had to make a timetable of our life after baby was 3 days old. So obviously, Iskandar and I put in lots and lots of feeding time in our timetable, because we thought that was rather the norm. However, there was a couple who ended up with a timetable which included 'washing bottles'. The midwife then asked, "why do you need to wash bottles at 3 days old?" The couple answered, "My SIL ended up with no milk when she gave birth so she had to formula feed." Right, the midwife just agreed and moved on.

It kinda made me think for a moment as well. Oh gosh, what if we are one of those people with 'no milk'? Are we just gonna let the baby suffer since we're not stocking up on formula milk. Iskandar being Iskandar, he is just too positive minded! Sometimes it scares me (and I'll be saying this again and again) :D Anyways, he then questioned me, would Allah give us a child to care for and yet not provide 'food' along with it? Hmmmm I thought, that made sense but you know the 'what ifs' just happen since I'm a first time Mommy. We still did not stock up on any formula milk, even until today.

Speaking thru experience, I think in order to achieve the goal to fully breastfeed your child begins even before the baby is born. If you think that you can't do it, then obviously it's impossible. Yes, it's always mind over matter (Psychology, much?). After all, there are a few hormones that needs to be 'released' when breastfeeding. So obviously, the breast will tell the brain to release so and so hormones and of course this can also be done if we keep telling the mind that we NEED to breastfeed. In this case, there shouldn't be a question of whether one should breastfeed or formula feed. Doubting yourself is the key to all failures! At least that's what I think :) Even without research we could tell that anything given 'directly' to us from god would be the best for us or in this case, our child.

When Khairaldin was approximately 4months old, I was suffering from what I would say a bad case of Mastitis (nipple infection). My doctor first did not prescribed any type of medication. She said to continue BFing and if it gets sore just express some milk and rub it on the nipple. Of course that worked for a while until I started reading on a few websites that there are creams for this infection. My infection became worse, I can assure you the only reason it got worse was because I stopped believing that without creams it could still cure the infection.

Long story short, I didn't dare to feed Khairaldin on my sore nipples and ended up only feeding him on one side. Since there is also a need of supply + demand in breastfeeding, my left breast milk started to decrease. I keep telling myself, there's no milk because I haven't been feeding him on the left side. Try telling yourself that every day and night, I'm sure your milk will get bored of it and gets the point that you're not even going to try. Hehehe So yeah, I am now only feeding him on my right side. Sometimes, I do try to give him the left side but because he's an 'active' drinker, he can never tolerate my very slow letdowns. We both then gave up and just continued on the 'best' breast. Alhamdulillah though, he is still loving every drop of milk he gets from me. Even with one side feeds, I think it's still sufficient enough for his growth. Well at least I can tell from his weight that he's not under nourished.

So Mommies & Mommies to be, here's all you need to prepare yourself for a healthy breastfeed session with your li'l bundle. At least for the first 6 months:
1) Your very own positive mind
2) Very positive minded Husband
3) Very supportive Husband
4) Your baby, to suckle on you day in and day out :)
5) Smile on your face when baby end up falling asleep on your breasts.

Other than that, a breastpump to combat those sore breasts due to yummy milk being produced!

You go Mommies!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Compliments... Not my forte.

Whenever I upload pictures of Khairaldin on Facebook, I definitely don't expect people to give compliments on it. Because I know without a doubt babies are the cutest thing alive! So whatever or however they pose they'll still end up looking adorable. Most of the pictures on Facebook is mostly for my family members to view + my in laws. My father in law to be precise will ask if there's any new pictures of Khairaldin if I don't upload any for more than 2 weeks. So yeah, imagine how often I have to upload. Hehehe Thank god for the super fast internet in the UK!

So, if anyone asks whose look Khairaldin inherits most, I could never answer 'me'. The only reason is because people find him soooooo adorable and if I say he looks like 'me' it is like I'm trying to compliment myself. Errk! It just doesn't sound right. Well at least for me it doesn't. Personally, I see more of Iskandar in Khairaldin than I see myself. The only thing he inherits off me is probably my skin colour and chubby cheeks. :D Here's my other pet peeve: mothers who would go 'cute/pretty like her Mommy right?' Haih! I mean, if people wanna compliment you obviously they'll say it to your face. I just find it irritating. Give your baby some space to get the compliments. You already had your chance.

Now I'm just so used to people asking me about Khairaldin one too many times :) It' like once he was born, people aren't too bothered about the parents and all eyes are on him. Yeay! I love it! Butttttt once in a while, it's nice to get those 'How are you doing?' msges. And then followed by 'How's Khairaldin?' Hehehe but hey, anything goes!

Alright, the other reason I'm writing this entry is because I'm having writer's block and it's because of compliments. :s My eldest bro & youngest bro actually told me to my face that "you can write! And I do read your blog nowadays". Before, they thought my writings were rather hmmmmm boring? But now they're actually reading it and just made me feel all butterfly inside. Hehehe I know! It's weird of me but never have I imagined my brothers who are living close to me would actually read me blog. Gah! I guess I'd have to start writing boring only for Mommies type of entries ey? Hehehe

Well above it all, I'm very pleased that they told me so because it actually boost my confidence to write more. For the time being though, I am still having writer's block. I think it's partly because I haven't got any new pictures to stick on here to let my writing flow. I normally make stories out of the pictures taken. Now I understand why bloggers carry compact cameras with them, everywhere! It's a way for them to tell their story, and I'm definitely one of them.

Till then fellow Mommies (and Daddies?) I'll blog again with some beneficial story :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

MEd in Islamic Studies

Just found out that the MEd I planned to do was not as beneficial as I presumed it'd be. The reason I wanted to take the MEd was because I wanted to go into teaching. My Dad just told me that this particular course was more for Imaams and Ustazah like. So since I need thorough training to become a teacher in the UK, this course is definitely not for me.

My life doesn't end here though :) I thought that was the best route as it was a combination of Islamic with it. But since it doesn't get me to the route I wanted, I guess I have to settle down with conventional Unis. Looks like I have to apply for a 1 year course which is definitely the route to becoming a teacher. The problem is now, I'm not sure what subject I wanna teach. At the moment I'm looking at enrolling for courses that concentrates on children aged 5 to 13.

The enrolment ends soon so I have to decide a.s.a.p. The courses start in September though. In the mean time, I still have loads of planning to do. :) Teaching is the only job I don't mind doing even if it means I have to get up at early hours.

So Khairaldin, you have another year to hang around with Mommy Insha'Allah. Aren't you the luckiest? :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

For once, I feel like I'm doing something right :)

Idle parenting.

Source : Telegraph.co.uk

I could not help nodding my head at each and every paragraph. Yes yes I know, Khairaldin's my first baby and I have no say in parenting advices as I've not yet passed the "troublesome" stage. But hey, didn't Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself". So yeah, I've managed to learn about parenting skills from people in my life. I've taken some good and bad point about each parenting and I can personally agree that Idle Parenting is the way I'm going :)

Read on to understand why I am leaning towards 'that' side. Here's some paragraphs I've quoted from the article.

The idle parent is a stay-at-home parent. Not for us costly leisure pursuits at the weekend. We reject the cheap thrills of expensive padded plastic fun palaces, zoos and days out in general. We find fun in our own backyards. We make aeroplanes out of cereal packets and it's amazing how many catching and tickling games you can play with your kids while sitting on the sofa.

The idle parent is a thrifty parent. We don't work too hard and therefore we can't expect to be rolling in cash. With thrift comes creativity. "Waste is unpoetic, thrift is creative," as GK Chesterton wrote. With no money, you start to discover your own inner resources. You make things and draw. Put a pile of A4 paper on the kitchen table, along with a stapler, scissors, crayons and glue, and you'll be amazed at what your children come up with. Forget digital gewgaws. Go analogue. It's more fun and a lot cheaper. Put a bird feeder outside the kitchen window. Fun does not need to be expensive.

We don't care about status and career advancement and how we are perceived by others. We are free of all of that rubbish. We simply want to enjoy our lives and to give our children a happy childhood. What greater gift could there be from a parent? If our children tell their friends in later life that they enjoyed their childhood, I would count that as a great achievement. Better to have a happy childhood than a high-achieving one that brings a big psychiatrist's bill in adult life.

Idle parents are sociable. We recognise the importance of friends. They lighten the burden. A myth of modern society is the idea that "you're on your own in this world". Instead of talking to friends and neighbours, anxious people seek advice in books, websites and internet forums. We resist asking for help or admitting weakness. Be weak! Give up! You can't do everything. Lower your standards. Get friends to help you. Organise little nurseries at your house where parents can chat and kids can play while you ignore them.

And here's my DONE and SATISFIED list :-

Manifesto of the idle parent

• We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
• We pledge to leave our children alone
• That should mean that they leave us alone, too
• We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
• We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals (I don't agree with this as much)
  
• We drink alcohol without guilt
• We reject the inner Puritan
• We fill the house with music and laughter
• We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
• We lie in bed for as long as possible
• We try not to interfere
• We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
• We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
• Time is more important than money
• Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
• Down with school
• We fill the house with music and merriment

So, what's your views?

Are you ACTUALLY having any SEX???!!

Hands down those of you who think asking married couples whether they've conceived is rather... offensive. *hands down* Personally, I find it VERY offensive. I think being asked when/if I've conceived is just like asking me if I am actually having SEX!!!! "So, any baby yet?" Or "You are not planning, are you?" At the moment, I am free from these type of Qs because Khairaldin is only 7 months old. But I can assure you once he hits 1 year old people will start asking 'so, when's the next one/two/three?' It never ends until you hit the big 4-0 (in age I mean). Lo and behold, the next person who asks such question will get a thorough, almost graphic like, explanation from us that YES! we are having sex, thank you very much. :)

Sex is definitely the main 'ritual' to making babies. However, there are other 'things' that one need to be aware of if some people have not yet conceived. For instance, health issues or other various issues that lead to a no show in baby making production :D Don't this type of questioners question themselves first before asking THE question? Hehehe I mean, what if the couples have been trying but are not showered with any babies just yet? Wouldn't it create tension between the couples?

Fact to the matter is, why is there a need to ask these type of questions?! Questions like these should be refrained from discussing, ever. If the couples wanted to announce their joyous moment, I'm sure they'll give you the news first hand. It is best if we bear in mind that certain things are not meant to be shared openly. I've known couples who've been married for a few years and are still trying to conceive. It doesn't help when they get questions about their 'sex life' every now and then because you need to be stress free in order to conceive. So imagine this, having sex and imagining those people asking you the questions you never had answers for. That is just depressing and rather 'ewwwww'.

Let's change our mindset for once. It's okay for married couples to walk around hand-in-hand just the two of them for a very very long time. No babies doesn't mean that they are not trying. They have their own agenda, so don't bother them. There's nothing to question about if there's no babies with them. If god wants or wills them with babies then without a doubt they will have one or loads! No use asking questions that no one has answers to except for HIM. Just remember that there are other questions you can ask newly or 'old' weds without any child(ren). But asking almost like asking about their sex life? That is definitely out of the question.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Domestic arguments :|

Picture above has nothing to do with the entry. Just wanted something dramatic :)

I seriously think that domestic arguments should be left behind closed doors!!!! NEVER leave your bedroom until the argument has been resolved. I don't understand how some people can blog or even make Facebook status out of their arguments with their other half! What is the point of letting people know that you're being 'mistreated' by your husband (I'm being biased because I normally see these kinda statuses on girl's profiles). I doubt that a guy would do such a thing though.

Sometimes I feel like deleting these people from my Facebook because they're just giving negative vibes. But most of the time, I feel blessed having a husband that understands me. No doubt we have our misunderstandings but we talk it through before going to bed. Nowadays our 'fights' lasts for 10 minutes maximum because we just find it ridiculous to be fighting about petty things. Life is too short to be arguing about everything and anything. Cherish the moments while you still can.

During my wedding reception, my sister gave a speech. It was a compilation of advices from all my siblings. When I first heard the speech I thought, 'oh well, I don't need these kinda advices. We're happy & in love'. But those bouncy-happy-in love- feeling doesn't last long. It doesn't mean you can't get that feeling back though. We worked hard to keep the feeling as if we're still newly weds. One of it is bloomed during arguments! Yes, it's impossible to believe such a thing. That's why we always pause and think for a moment when we argue. I am the type that gives the silent treatment if something goes wrong. Iskandar however, he is a resolver. He makes sure that we sort our disagreements before going to bed. So, sometimes I'd just agree and call it peace because I want my sleep. Hehehe When I wake up the next morning, I realise how silly I can be sometimes. Or even better, I normally forget that we actually had an argument the night before. Forgive & forget, that's the way it should be.

Nowadays, there have been too many marriages that have called it 'quit'. It's as if it's a trend. Even the Malaysian celebrities are in and out of a marriage like it's no biggie. It scares and saddens me, even worse, those with child(ren). Everyday I pray that such a thing won't happen to us and my loved ones. It's just such a precious thing to actually 'give up' on.

My parents always say, "never leave your husband/wife behind, even if it's for a business trip. Always drag them along!". And yes, that's the root to all healthy, admirable & tremendous relationship; To always always always be by your partners' side. Leaving them behind would only make an empty space for other people to 'fill in'. Marriage is not like a couple relationship. You might be able to survive long distance relationship when a couple but once you've got used to having someone by your side 24-7 it's just not the same anymore.

I am not ashamed to admit that I am ever so clingy with Iskandar. It's to a point where I hate going for male & female separate sitting events. Yes, that bad! To me, once we are married it means nothing can come between us. We have worked hard to gain and be in this relationship so why waste it just like that.

So remember, if you have something against your other half, talk to them! Don't let the whole world know about it unless ..... actually, no unless. Work it through, together. Other people would only rub salt to the wound which of course makes it hurt even worse. In the end, you're just too angry & annoyed to listen to your other half. So don't ever talk about it openly. With close friends would be and exception, but seriously, it won't resolve anything until you've spoken to the 'perpetrator'. hehehe

I know I've only been married for 2 years and people would take me for granted. Anyhow, this is also a reminder for myself so that I can always look back and reflect "why I married Iskandar". Insha'Allah I will always try to please and be by my husband & children's side. Always always always!!!!! Amin.

Travelling with cloth diped baby

This is a long overdue entry request :) Sorry for not sharing earlier Mommies! So, as you already know, I started cloth diapering Khairaldin when he was about 1 month old. Ever since then, I've only put him in dispos about once or twice; when I'm travelling long distance + overnight. The only reason I wear him dispos is because I'm not sure how or where to wash the diapers. There's this one time when Khairaldin was 3 months old, we were going for a weekend trip to Middlesborough. Happily I bought dispos for Khairaldin because it was only for the weekend and if I wanted to wash it'll take forever, plus I was staying at my cousins place. I still did pack his cloth diapers, just in case. And of course thank god for my instinct to pack his CDs! I was so used to buying newborn sized dispos and when I wanted to change him, it just wouldn't fit! Hehehe I totally forgot that dispos doesn't come in one size fits all!!!

Until recently, I thought what's the point of wearing him cloth if I'm still going to put him on dispos once in a while. Last December, I had a few people to visit in London. So we decided to stay for 3 days 2 nights (it was sort of 3 nights because by the time we got home it was 10pm) since everyone was coming around the same time. At first I've decided to buy a few dispos because we were staying at a B&B. Then I thought, "hey come on, it's London! There ought to be a few laundrettes on one street. I can always wash it there!". Khairaldin wasn't on solids at this time. So he still had runny poop. But I always spray it off first before putting it in the washing machine. I then packed all of his diapers stash, not that he's got a lot anyway. Hehehe Ever since he could fit into his Coolababy diaper, that's the only diaper he's in. He only have about 14 pieces of Coolababy pocket diapers. It was such a gamble to travel with that much of cloth diapers!!

What I did throughout our stay in London was to put 2 inserts in his Pocket diapers. That way it will absorb more and it won't end up leaking on me/him (since I was wearing him all the time). So with Coolababy pockets + 2 inserts, it could last him a maximum of 6 hours if he only wees. I brought some prefolds along to use it as inserts. Best thing about prefolds as an insert is that it's not bulky but still very absorbent. I still managed to bring some fresh diaperS home with me even with the amount of inserts + pockets I brought.

Travelling with cloth diped baby is manageable. All you have to do is to know the place that you're visiting, how often you'll be changing & also to bring a laundry bag to stash all the dirty diapers. It's best if you try and find out how absorbent baby's diaper is a few days before travelling. That way you don't need to worry about any leaks. So during our 3 days 2 nights vacation, we only used approximately 10 diapers. The best thing is, he did not suffer from any rash even though I changed him every 6 hours. By the time we got home we still had extras so we did the diaper washing the next day :) Blame on the tiredness, not laziness. *LOL*

I used to be so 'scared' of travelling because I'm not sure how many diapers I need. But now, I am a pro! Hehehe So far Alhamdulillah, Khairaldin's never been short on diapers to actually opt to wearing dispos. I guess it's easier for me since we've got radiator and it takes merely 1 hour to dry the pockets + inserts. But saying that, Malaysia has natural Sunlight and could easily dry diapers in less than an hour, right? I still get amused when the diapers are ready to be used within the next hour. Hehehe

So, here's to more dispos free bumbum! ;D

Ps: Sorry if I don't reply to any comments on any of my posts. It's just that I update via BB (Hubby's busy studying for examS, so he hogs the PC) and to reply comments it'll take forever for the page to load. I definitely appreciate all your comments though! :))

Royally spoiled + Royally loved = Khalid Khairaldin

It's unreal how spoiled Khairaldin is when he's with the grandparents. I am glad though that he's got that extra TLC from someone other than his own parents. Personally, without my parents around I think I'd spoil my baby to an extreme! Heheh I am so glad that they are around so that I know how to 'limit' myself. But parents' love is nothing compared to anyone else's.

This is Khairaldin's everyday routine:
9am - wake up, roll about with us on the bed
10am - wash up, ready for breakfast (before that Mommy's milkybar)
11am - naptime in Nana & Daddytok's room
12+pm - playtime with grandparents
1pm - lunch time
2pm - naptime with Daddytok (coz Nana will be busy watching Hallmark movies)
4pm - Milkybar + cousin time
5pm - hangout with Us
7pm - Dinner time
8pm - Nana & Daddytok time, eat junk foods, sometime he naps till about 930pm
10pm - ready for bedtime, talk with his Elephant mobile
11pm - finally in lala land
6am - Milkybar time

And the cycle goes on..... This is mainly on his good days (days he's not ill).

Somehow my parents love to sleep with him. Khairaldin is such a good sleeper. Putting him to sleep is so much easier than changing his diaper! Seriously. He'd scream and shout when I wanna change his diaper because that's the time he wants to roll around the bed. Whereas when he's sleepy, you can just put him on the bed and he'll suck his thumb and within 5 minutes he's asleep. Wonders!

So far I've left him with my parents for a maximum of 3 hours and he slept through and through. Once I get in the house, he'll be wide awake. It's like he can smell me. My baby's a champion when it comes to sleeping. Hehehe I don't know if this is because I used to sleep A LOT when carrying him! Haha

On a serious note, it is so easy to look after Khairaldin. I've never stocked on EBM even when I'm going out because he's punctual with his drinking time and if I'm not around he can sleep. But if I am the one putting him to sleep in the afternoon, he only naps for 1/2 an hour. I think he knows when an elderly is looking after him so he doesn't wanna be a nuisance. Heheh

My parents, especially my dad, loves baby around this age. He loves putting babies to sleep and he's really proud of it when babies sleep on him. He could go on and on telling us how "he wanted to sleep with me instead of with Mom". I guess it's a male thing. I don't find amusement on these things anymore because I've come to known his routine. My Mom's told me before I was pregnant that she doesn't mind looking after babies (read: 0- 9months hehe) but once they start crawling, she's not gonna bother 'running' after them. Hehehe Well they are 57 years old. :) So for now, I let them play, cuddle and spoil Khairaldin as much as they can. Once he gets to the very rough & tough stage, I think I can't let him alone with the grandparents. By then my parents will be the fragile one. Hehehe

One thing for sure, I love how my parents will come knocking on my door to check whether Khairaldin's ready to 'come out & play'. It's just too sweet!!! Even when he's still asleep, he'd instantly wake up and give a very wide smile to my parents letting them know he's awake. :) I love Khairaldin so much!!!!!!!! He's such a people pleaser, no doubt.

Even though this li'l chap is all lovely and cuddly, my mom still find it disgusting when he vomits his milk out. Hahaha It makes me laugh everytime! Mom's just disgusted of vomits, thank god I didn't suffer from morning sickness otherwise I can see her screaming and shouting at me. Yes, she gets really disgusted!

Above all, I love that my parents can be part of Khairaldin's life. It's just amazing how they can love a being who's not even theirs. It makes me realise how much my parents have showered their love for all 7 of us. Priceless! I could never repay their love but I guess looking after them and being by their side as they get older is the best that I can do for them. And I pray everyday that I could be by their side till their very last breath, Insha'Allah. Amin. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

One more?

Haih, looking at my sister's pics of her daughters make me wanna have another baby!!! Butttttt, deep inside I know I'm not ready to have another one. :( Hhhhhmmm if only it was that simple. Or am I just making it too complicated. I don't know. Is there such thing as 'wrong reasons' to have another baby? Hehehe
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Name: Raja Khalid Khairaldin

So, how did we come about with this name? Our deal for this first pregnancy was that I choose a girl's name and Iskandar choose a boy's name. It all worked out well because I am so lousy at giving boy's name and vice versa with Iskandar. On my 4th month pregnancy we kinda have a name in mind. At least, I stayed with my name since forever. Hehehe Iskandar on the other hand couldn't decide on a name. He's always wanted the name 'Khalid' but since it only means 'eternal' we thought it was rather boring and meaningless. So we looked for names on the internet, I think the website was called muslimbabynames.com or sum'n like that. While browsing, somehow the name 'Khair Al Din' was staring at us in the face and we kinda fell in love with the name instantly. 'Khair Al Din' means 'Goodness to The Religion/Faith'. Gramatically, it's supposed to be Khairuddin if we wanted to join the name together. But I don't really like the sound of it. So that's why we ended up with Khairaldin which technically when u spell it in Arabic you'll still end up with Khairaldin. In the end of the day it's all the same meaning.

I get a li'l bit arsey when people spell either my name or Iskandar or my baby's name wrong. For instance, Eva (I hate it when people spell it this way on Facebook when clearly my screen name is with an 'I'!) or Syazwan (the correct spelling is sHazwan) or Khaleed Khairaldeen. I mean if we wanted to spell his name that way we'd have gone with it. No doubt the pronounciation is so but I just hate it when people spell it that way. I mean, what gives them the right to alter the spelling we had chosen! Ggrrrr! Oh yeah another one of my pet peeves is when he's nicknamed 'KK'! It's ok if you use it when texting because it takes a lot of characters. But otherwise, it's a big no-no!! :)

We've always wanted people to use both of Khairaldin's name. I find it a waste naming your child with a few names but end up not using it. My baby boy is known as Khairaldin amongst immediate family & close Malaysian friends. Whereas some of my other relatives have difficulty to pronounce Khairaldin so they end up calling him Khalid, which is his first name in the UK. I'm kinda proud that we managed to make everyone use all of his name. Iskandar and I both have long names but I bet only the closed one knows our full name. It's nice to sometimes hear people call him Khalid because we rarely call him that. Although Iskandar tend to call him Khalid Khairaldin, almost all the time.

For my future pregnancy, we've decided that I look for a boy's name and Iskandar a girl's name. I've got a feeling Iskandar will hijack the name I've chosen before. Hehehe But I think, it does make a difference in choosing the name with every pregnancy. When Khairaldin was in the tummy, Iskandar always talked to him and asked "are you Baby Khalid Khairaldin or Baby **** *****?" Somehow he'd twitch whenever we say Khalid Khairaldin. Since we didn't scan, we kept asking that Q all the time. Heheheh But with mother's instinct I kinda knew it was gonna be a boy. Between you and me, I actually begged Allah for a baby Boy! Heheheh Alhamdulillah my do'a was granted :)

So, how did you choose your baby's name?
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

7 months!

Khairaldin turned 7 months a few days back. I don't really update his milestones because I just don't. :) But Alhamdulillah, so far so good. He's rather up-to-date with the so called milestone. Yeah, I believe each and every baby progresses at their own pace that's why I don't bother jotting down. Hehehe

Anyway, after 7 months, my baby's hair is still so short!!! I shaved it off when he was 10 days old and trimmed it ONCE when he was about 3 months. Until today, his hair is still short :( I know he's not a girl but I still wanna style it. Hahaha

I'm uploading his latest picture but don't know where it will appear, top, bottom, left or right. That's his latest hairstyle. Too short right? I've constantly applied olive oil but still nothing much. Oh well. I guess he's got my type of hair which grows 1 inch every 3 months. Hehehe Unlike the Abah's hair which grows ever so fast!

Ok just wanted to update on that. Hehehe any tips to make his hair grow? ;-) but I don't want it to be girly type of long.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I'm super excited!

All have been confirmed, so far! Insha'Allah classes will commence on 15th February! What a coincidence, that date last year was the saddest date for me. Now, it's a total opposite . I'm excited beyond words! I have imagined myself attending classes and becoming a teacher, one fine day (Insha'Allah). As for now, just practising with my baby-cum-student Khairaldin hehehe. This is what I call satisfaction *beams*. Never knew I would be given this opportunity again since I missed it before (enrolling onto a wrong course). So, classes are on Mondays and Tuesdays. I don't think I'm diligent enough to manually pump when I'm in Uni! Thank god, my schedule is rather bearable. Monday is the only full day class; 10:30am to 3:30pm, Tuesday is from 10:30am to 12:30pm. I don't think there's a real necessity to pump, no? Praying hard for no engorgement! Hehehe

Iskandar will be starting his new semester on the same week as my freshies week. If his schedule's the same as current semester then we might have to go to uni together on Tuesdays! Hehehe So fun! Like dating all over again *blush*. I'll be glad if he doesn't have any classes on Monday though because I'd want him to spend quality and bonding time with Khairaldin. It's impossible for him to get bonding sessions when I'm around. Ever since Khairaldin was born, I can actually count with one hand the number of times Iskandar change, bathe or feed Khairaldin. I don't blame him at all coz it's me who's possessive and at the same time very OCD when it comes to my baby. I will always find fault with the way Iskandar puts on Khairaldin's diaper or clothes :| Iskandar's feeling rather offended whenever Khairaldin gets too clingy with me. Like this morning, Khairaldin was sleeping in between us and when I wake up for Subuh he actually pulled himself up to look for me, when he was actually in real deep slumber. Iskandar is trying to win Khairaldin's heart and I think this will be a great opportunity. But if he's got classes, then, I guess I have to start letting go... slowly! Hehehe

Oh, surprise surprise, today when I was BFing Khairaldin, suddenly my left side was leaking too! So I tried giving him, obviously he was giving me tantrums. Iskandar said to try a different position and surprisingly he latched on and sucked straight away. It's not that my boobies are empty, it's just the position! So now I know. :)

I end this by thanking Allah for giving us another chance to start our future! Here's to a fresh and great start of the new year! Amin.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Spontaneous

I love making spontaneous decisions. By spontaneous I mean an hour mindless chit chat which WILL end up to be a 'life-changing' decision. Sometimes, it could upset people because they wanna know my plans well in advance. No, I don't have a 5 or 10 years life plan. My plans happen so spontaneously. Follow the flow has always been my principal in life, because that's how my parents have brought me up. As far as I can say, they've not made any mistakes in their decision making. So, if I say I want something, I'll try and make it happen there and then.

I also believe that money can be found anywhere, yes, if you work for it that is hahaha. It is possible to find some money under ur sofa or in between some books, point is, you have to get off your arse and look for it! It doesn't just come out of nowhere. At least that hasn't happened to me yet. Hehehe To me, there's no point stressing out about whether there's enough money or not, because however rich you are it's just never enough. We are human being and are not easily pleased. If I were to wait till I have enough money than only start my life, that may be too late and will only end up with lots of regrets and what ifs!

So far by making spontaneous plans I have managed to have blissful marriage and an adorable baby boy, with no regrets at all. Alhamdulillah! If I was one of those who would go 'I can't get married coz tak cukup duit!' I think I'll never get married and live happily ever after. Just take the plunge and work your way through it. After all life is all about adventure! :)

So, over the weekend, I was blabbing to mom, dad, bro and sis-in-law about wanting to do a Childminder course because I'm just bored of staying home doing nothing. It's been 1 year since I've been jobless and trust me, I haven't been doing anything beneficial with myself. Yes, SAHM is the best but at the moment my baby just sleep and sleeps. Hehehe Until it's time to start teaching him, I think it's fair to give myself some break and later on full concentration on him. Anyway, as the conversation proceeded, my sis-in-law advised me that it's not easy to start a childminding business even if I'm childminder certified. It may be difficult to get them to certify our house up to a chidlminder standard. You see, our house is filled with loads of tidbits which just attract the kids even more. So it's easier to get a new house rather than child proofing our current house (which costs A LOT of money!). Then my Dad asked, "why don't you take up a Masters course instead or even PGCert, if you only want to study for a few months". Since my Dad is working for an institute which is associated with Gloucestershire Uni, he knows the ins and outs of each course. He then recommended me to do MEd in Islamic Education. I thought, hey that's a good opportunity coz it's a broader course and if I plan to work, I can teach at Primary until University level (not that I'm eyeing to be a lecturer, teacher is still ok). At least I'm not only stuck to caring for babies/toddlers. Best part is, there's an Islamic girls school just 5 minutes walk from our house.

After that conversation, I just left it as it is because I only thought about it in that split second. Also, I have to discuss with the dear hubby before deciding on anything. I think Iskandar has passed the stage where he'll say "you didn't discuss with me first before telling the family!" Because he knows I think and decide at the same time. So he has to follow my flow as well. Hehehe After discussing, we agreed that it's ok for me to continue my studies if that's what I'm keen on doing.

Tomorrow, I'm meeting up with the registrar to find out more about the course and fees. And if all is OK, I'll be starting the course on the 3rd week of Feb.

Now comes the most important bit..... It's been ages since I EBM. How am I gonna start doing it? I find expressing really stressful even if I can get 4oz in just 10mins. Although I'm not sure how much I can get now since I haven't been expressing. Another thing is, my letdown on left is literally just drips. Unlike my right, it sprays in just 5 secs. Will I be able to pump and stock up? Nowadays, Khairaldin drinks at about 10am, 4pm and 9pm. So really, if I have to stock up it will only be for the 10am and 4pm ish. My classes may be running from 10:30am to 4pm. I don't think it's an everyday lessons though. Is it still possible to get any milk out even after it's just producing 'drops'? I need to google and learn more on this before I leave him behind.

The even worse part, he's NEVER voluntarily drink from his bottle! I always had to force him and he never finish up! So, hubby and I have to find the perfect bottle for him and maybe get him to get used to bottlefeeds.

We see how it goes tomorrow. If all goes well, I'll be shopping for my stationaries and Khairaldin's bottle gadgets!! *beams*

By the way, please pray that the study goes smoothly for both me and Hubby. Insha'Allah this will bring a better future for all of us. Amin.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Planned or Unplanned?

Isn't that the famous question people would ask whenever you tell them that you're pregnant?

Well at least for me it is. When we told our friends about my first pregnancy they asked "oh, did you guys plan for the pregnancy?" Iskandar and I are always dumfounded when being asked this q. My question is, how do you know if a pregnancy is planned or not? Well to be honest, we did set in our heart and mind to try not to get me pregnant at the early months of our marriage. At that time, I was still in uni and Iskandar was just about to settle down in the UK. But no, there was no contraceptions involved. It's merely our 'niat'. Alhamdulillah, after I finished Uni and started my job, I got pregnant. We were indeed in the comfortable stage. Having said that, we did try really hard for a few months (don't ask me how hahaha).

So, during and after the pregnancy we thought, "hey, it's not that hard being pregs and Alhamdulillah the delivery went smoothly!" So, when's the best time to have our second?; note: Iskandar asked this a few months after Khairaldin was delivered. :-|

Yes, being a SAHM is not a problem to have another one almost instantly, at least that's what everyone thinks! I would beg to differ. There are other things that need to be taken into consideration when raising a child. I for one wanna try and breastfeed Khairaldin till he reaches at least 24 months. Not being negative but my left breast it almost empty! However my right side is still like a full blast shower. Hehehe if you know what I mean. So, I know I might not be able to go that long but if I reach 12 months, I am more than happy. :) But some say if I get pregnant before then, my milk supply will stop. How true is that?

Contrary to popular belief, you are able to get your period like normal after a few months of delivery. Like in my case, I started to have normal period when Khairaldin was 3 months old. So yes, my cycles are 'normal'. I say 'normal' because it's not for me. Before I got pregnant, my period cycle was once every 6 months. But now it's almost every month. Guess my hormones are just about to catch up. Hehehe I say this is a blessing in disguise because I know secretly Iskandar wants another baby like NOW! Hahah he doesn't want the age gap between our child to be far apart because he's personally experienced it and doesn't like it. The gap between him and his eldest is about 12 years, and to think they only have 4 in the family. So it's rather hard for them to get along.

Moving on, personally I'm not ready to have another baby. But again, we are not taking any precautions because Iskandar wants another. My only excuse is because I'm still 5kg heavier than my pre-pregs weight. Until I lose them all, I'm all out to having another. But I'm not doing anything about it!!!!! Heheheh So, until when will I finally be ready? Hmmm.

So now I'm thinking, why not get pregnant as many times as I can before 30 and then only start on the weight lost! Hahahaha I don't know, 'planning' for a second is even harder than the first. That's why I don't plan and just let it be...........

If I'm pregnant for the second time in this short span of time. I'd say, "Alhamdulillah it's my rezeki". And to be honest, it's not easy to get pregnant. How much you plan, it might not happen almost instantly. I also believe that things WILL fall into place when ALLAH has destined you to get pregnant. So be it if you're a working mom or stay at home Mom, you can get pregnant regardless.

To sum it up, I'm just against contraceptions. Especially the pills coz I read somewhere (will source it when I find it), it's as if you're killing the child because there are chances of the egg forming. So let's make babies and I mean lots of them! :)

Anyway, here's a pic of my baby boy acting all big. Is he ready to venture the outside world? Hehehe I love you, always!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Make-ups

Alright, here's a confession.......


I've never worn make-up in my life, other than on my wedding day. :-|

The everyday, EVERYWHERE face!

The made-up face :)
(If only I can paint my face like this. Almost close to natural...)

So yeah, every time I watch those Maybeline, Loreal and other make-up adverts, I'll always say "ouh, must try this product!" But every time when I'm out, I just can't remember the names. Hahaha Almost everyone around me are wearing make-ups even the younger ones!!! I feel rather hmmmm 'selekeh' if I may say. Iskandar however, is SO against made-up face! He prefers au naturel. So obviously if I wanna buy any make up stuff he'd go, "tak payah lah. You're already beautiful as it is". Haish, which husband sees their wife's ugly side? Pfft.

I thought this year it's about time I make an effort to wear more than my Body Shop lipbalm! I swear that's the bestest lipbalm ever ever! Although I can tell u for sure, this won't happen. First things first, I don't know how to wear make-ups!!! Lagi burok karang baru tau. Secondly, ever since I got pregnant, my complexion is soooooooo smooth. I definitely wouldn't want to mess it up now. Finally, if my husband thinks I'm pretty without any powder, mascara, lipstick etc etc, then why change, right? ;-)

But I was just wondering, when's the right time to start wearing anti-wrinkles product. I am 25 years young, is it too soon to start caring about wrinkles and whatever lines?

Yes I'm becoming rather paranoid nowadays! Hehehe Doesn't help that it's Winter and my skin is becoming rather dry! Eugh. Ho well, for the time being let's just slap some moisturiser on the body.

Oh speaking of moisturiser and dry skins. Khairaldin has eczema and he's covered with moisturiser every day and night! So cute that at such a young age he's oh so vain! Hehehe it's not a bad case of eczema but because it's Winter we just have to take precautions. :)

I've to end now, hubby's tossing and turning on the bed ;-) Will update some pics to this post because as 'always' am blogging via BB.