Thursday, November 18, 2010

Pregnancy and Finance

"Verily, Allah, with Him (Alone) is the knowledge of the hour, He sends down the rain, and Knows what is in the wombs. No person knows what he will earn tomorrow and no person knows in what land he will die. Verily, Allah is All-Knower, All-Aware (of all things)." [Surah Luqman, 34]

This pregnancy is different from my first one in terms of financial status. When I planned to have Khairaldin, both Iskandar and I had a "stable" job. So we thought it was the 'right' time to have a baby. However, 5 months down the line, I got made redundant. Iskandar continued his studies which made him reduced his working hours until today.

Then, almost a week ago, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. We were both shocked and didn't know what to expect. Iskandar works for about 4 hours a week, which is really not enough for us to actually get thru the month. Alhamdulillah, my parents willingly invited us to stay with them. Otherwise we'd be so broke and on debts by now. No one in the right state of mind would dream to get pregnant when they do not have financial stability, right? Same goes with us. But Allah works in mysterious ways. We can plan all we want but HE has the last say. It took Iskandar and I quite a while to digest the news that I am pregnant. But we had to face the fact that if I'm not having my period means, I am pregnant. So we were thankful to Allah that we are yet again blessed with another child. Insha'Allah.

About 3 weeks ago, Iskandar asked for an increase in his contract hours since he's finished his Masters. The company been pushing the matter aside and kept telling him to meet with this that and the other. Which never got settled. I found out about my pregnancy last Thursday. So we were already 'scared' of what to happen with our financial. But we shukur, tawakkal and redha with what we already have. We always believe that Allah will never burden us with what we can not handle Surah Baqarah verse 286: "Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. In his favour shall be whatever good each one does, and against him whatever evil does.". After all we've got 9 months to really push ourselves out there. Insha'Allah.

Iskandar planned to meet his HR yesterday to sort out the contract but surprise surprise, the Manager came and spoke to him instead. They told him that they approved the increase of his hours and that he shall start next week!!! What are the odds, exactly 1 week after I find out I was pregnant he managed to change his contract??! We waited for so long for their reply but they kept turning is away.

So, as the Ayat above confirms, only Allah knows everything and anything. HE can give what HE feel is right to be given at that time. Never lose faith!!!! He is just testing us to see if we would give up. If Allah doesn't answer our prayer as when we want HIM to, believe that he has much better plans for us. Doesn't mean HE is not listening to our prayers but instead HE knows whether we really need it or not. I mean, if Iskandar were to get the job earlier, I might become spendthrift. So when the pregnancy news arrive, I might not be able to control my expenditure. But now, I know which is my priority and how to spend wisely because I have managed to live with lesser income than we are expecting soon. Alhamdulillah shukur!!!!!

Here's a reminder for myself and everyone that's reading, we should not question what is given to us even when we feel the time is not right. Who are we to determine when is the right time? When I came across this Ayat, it definitely was a wake up call to me. Now I realise that I can only plan to a certain extent and the rest, it is all up to HIM!!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

How to wean Khairaldin off breastfeed?

In 2 days time, my calendar would have marked 1 year and 5 months on my breastfeeding journey with Khairaldin. Before Khairaldin was born, I always prayed to Allah on wanting to breastfeed him for exactly 2 years. It's always been my plan because my Mom breastfed me for 4 years and I wanted to know how much hardship she had to go through to feed me. Since I've just found out about my pregnancy, I decided to wean him off as soon as possible for his health and mine.

His last feed was 24 hours ago. I didn't plan to stop him straight away as I thought it would be unfair for him. However, even before I found out about my pregnancy, I have slowly decreased his feeds to twice a day. I don't know why I did that but it just felt right at that moment. He could understand slowly that he can only get his feeds at certain hours. Alhamdulillah. It was easier than I expected!

Today, I have had less than 4 hours of sleep and I've been so tired. Again, all thanks to Allah, Khairaldin understood my situation and didn't demand as much. Whenever he wants his feeds he will say "Aminn, Aminn!", so now I am teaching him "Amin" is for food and also drinks/Milo. He's getting the hang of it. Alhamdulillah!

It's emotional for me because it feels as if I'm depriving him from his rights. I know Allah has plans for us. I believe strongly that HE will guide us through as long as we worship and please him. I am a true believer of that. However, being a mother you will still feel a tinge upset for not giving your child that easiest rights he/she deserves. All thanks to Allah swt, Khairaldin is learning to accept the fact and is rather happy drinking from his bottle. Alhamdulillah.

In case some of you do not know, Khairaldin was a true anti-bottlefeed. He refuses bottle to an extent that people think I was abusing him! :| So it took me a while to get him used to bottles. I tried sippy cups but couldn't find the perfect one for him. If any of you have the time to browse sippy cups, try and have a look at the designs. Most sippy cups are designed in such a way that is difficult for you to wash them. I bought a few and ended up throwing them as the straw and some other part just couldn't be washed. In the end, we settled with Tommee Tippee sippy cup from 6months+. The "nipple" is soft enough for breastfed baby and it's easy to open and wash every bit of it. I highly recommend it to mothers who have babies as fussy as Khairaldin. Insha'Allah, it might be a smooth transition for baby and you too!! :)

So, here's to the end of our breastfeeding journey! Insha'Allah many more to come....with other of Khairaldin's siblings that is. :D

Friday, November 12, 2010

Of SECOND pregnancy!!!

Ever since I got my first period (around 12 years young), I never had a consistent every-month-on-the-dot type of period like how many girls do. When I told my Mom about how 'abnormal' I am, she always advised me that "Allah will give you a break when HE feels you deserved it". As years gone by, I got used to my possibly twice a year period cycle. I thought, what's the big deal? at least I get to worship HIM more. Alhamdulillah.
Then, I decided to get married. So this period thing became rather a big deal to me because I thought "How am I to conceive if my period is twice a year- once every 6 months?". Mom and I then decided to see a gynae for further check up. The gynae confirmed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). She said with this 'cyst' I might get pregnant easily or I could wait for years to get pregnant (infertility). She also said there is a pill that could make me get my period and from there I have to count the days when I'm fertile. At that time I wasn't married yet, so I didn't bother taking it.

After 6 months into our marriage, we decided to have a baby. We tried and tried but to no avail. Again, I went to see a doctor to get this pill. Even so, nothing happened. About 3 months later, I got pregnant, Alhamdulillah. This time it was our determination to pray to Allah to shower us with a child. I remember it was during Ramadhan at that time. Alhamdulillah, during Eid, I was confirmed pregnant. We were so pleased and was confident that it was all Allah's doing.

Alhamdulillah, we got Raja Khalid Khairaldin. Such an easy going child and Masha'Allah very intelligent and gifted in his own ways. After we had Khairaldin we planned to not have any just yet since Iskandar was studying and have no permanent job. Again, my period was haywire and I didn't care much because we weren't trying for a baby. It would be difficult for us to plan if I had my period since I don't take pills etc. So, not getting period was a good sign. I also read that because of breastfeeding one's period is just not right. But I also read that those 'suffering' from PCOS won't have the milk to breastfeed. So read what you want as the final decision is up to Allah.

I haven't been getting 'proper' heavy flow period for 4 months now. My last stained was during Ramadhan and it lasted for 2-3 days. So I didn't take that as period. Lately, I have been feeling rather nauseous and I thought it was because of consuming too much food! So I decided to go on a "diet". Somehow I felt more nauseous without food. Duh! I randomly told Iskandar, "I wanna buy pregnancy tests just for the fun of it". Then he said "ok, that's what it is there for".

On 11.11.10 (yesterday) we bought the 'pee stick', I tried it straight away and it said to wait for 3 minutes. Within 1 minute, we could see that it was already 2 lines. So yeah, POSITIVE! We were in disbelief because we thought it's impossible to get pregnant without getting period. Since there were 2 sticks, I tried again today with my morning pee as apparently it will give different reading in the morning. Alhamdulillah, it was still instant POSITIVE. We then accepted the fact that I'm pregnant.... Again.

So, here's my thought. I feel so "small" and powerless! Who are we to plan and have the final say? When we were really trying for a baby, it took us soooo long to actually get one. Now that we are not, Allah just shower us with this li'l one out of nowhere. Allah has plans for all of us. HE knows when is the right time to give and take from us. HE is the one and only that knows what our future will be like. HE is fair and will not burden us with anything we can't bare. To say that we are not ready because Iskandar hasn't got a job is an understatement. But, when is the right time? HE knows! HE is the best of all planner and HIS plans will just fall into place. We are so thankful to HIM for this new bundle of joy!

All I need now is lots of prayers that the pregnancy will go well and that Khairaldin will slowly wean off breastfeed and will sleep on his own bed. Alhamdulillah I've got 9 months to make all this happen Insha'Allah. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes, May Allah SWT shower you with goodness in this life and hereafter. Amin!