Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Coincidence or is it really ol' wives' tales?

22nd June 2011, it's supposed to be the due date for baby no.2 but hey, they did say it's ESTIMATED due date (EDD). One could give birth earlier or later than their due date. As for now, I'm still heavily pregnant, Alhamdulillah. No doubt I do want baby to be out a.s.a.p not only because I'm eager to see him/her but also because I'm too heavy right now!!! I've put on about 13kgs throughout the pregnancy, I know it's not much but when you have a possessive toddler who demands Mommy to carry him after bath/upstairs/to the toilet, it gets rather tiring. Alhamdulillah I can still pray as normal. I'm so thankful for that.

Anyway, reason I'm writing this is because I felt like comparing my first pregnancy "ritual" to my second pregnancy "ritual". I've been getting a few advises on things I should do or consume to get myself into labour rather soon.

Walking - yes, this is the most famous advise anyone would give. When I was carrying Khairaldin, I walked A LOT! I would rather walk then take the car whenever I was given the chance to do so. However, with this 2nd pregnancy, the only time I have a long walk is during the weekend when we go into town. After my first pregnancy, I didn't get any type of massage to "restructure" my womb. So, this 2nd pregnancy has been rather painful because at 5 months I feel as if baby is down 'there' and ready to come out. I had what they call "low lying placenta" but Alhamdulillah it is not THAT bad. Baby is lower than when I was carrying Khairaldin. Hence the reason why I couldn't do that much walking.

Eat spicy food- I've never heard of this but a sister on FB advised me to do so. The thing is, when I was carrying Khairaldin, I really craved for spicy food. I had spicy food (or sambal belacan) almost every meal. I couldn't resist it. Unfortunately with baby no. 2, I just couldn't. I would suffer from heartburn whenever I consume spicy food. So I didn't dare to have that much spicy food this time around.

Raspberry leaf capsules or tea- This was also mentioned by a friend last night. I was thinking where could I get Raspberry leaf. I forgot that when I was carrying Khairaldin, I did drink Earth Mama Angel Baby Third Trimester tea. I just realised that in the ingredients there is Raspberry leaf and it is one of the best ingredients for pregnancy. Read: Raspberry Leaf has healing and preventative properties which are said to tone the uterus, and improve contractions to facilitate childbirth. Raspberry leaf is also an astringent herb rich in vitamins and minerals important for pregnant women, among them vitamins C, E, A and B complex, and the minerals calcium, phosphorous, manganese, potassium and iron. (Source: Earth Mama Angel Baby). And yeah, this time around I didn't bother to buy or even make the tea. (But today I started drinking it all over again in hopes that baby will make exit soon, Insha'Allah).

So I was just wondering, is it because of these 'rituals' that made Khairaldin's debut 5 days early and baby no.2 come out later? Hmmmm, sometimes you feel that there is no effect to what you're doing until it's showed otherwise. Iskandar on the other hand believes that "different baby is different". It could be mere coincidence that Khairaldin was early since after all he is a much active baby compared to baby no.2. It maybe because his activeness that pushed him out earlier? Hmmmmmmm. Well, let's see what happens in 3rd pregnancy. LOL! Look at me talking about next pregnancy when I'm no where near giving birth to baby no.2! :D

In the end of it all, I believe that Allah has planned everything with baby no 2 (and us all). It's his/her destiny with Allah swt. What they have promised each other before he/she comes out to see the world only 'they' would know. I can keep on guessing like maybeeeeeeeee, he/she is just giving us more time to bond with the big brother? Maybe Allah is giving me extra time to Worship him? or even, maybe I myself am not fully prepared to handle 2 kids at this stage? Only Allah knows. One thing for sure, I've enjoyed the surprise in this pregnancy. It's also taught me that we can plan as much as we want but the end result is from HIM and noone else could change it. :)

So, here's to me counting down for another 14 days in case I have to be induced. In the mean time, do keep us in your du'a, always. <3

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Monday, June 06, 2011

From The Royal Wedding to divorce?????

Yes yes, I KNOW the divorce "news" on Will & Kate is just a rumour. But this entry is somehow inspired by them :)


Alhamdulillah, in my 4 years of marriage, I've heard of so many family and friends getting hitched. It's such a wonderful news. I love marriages! I tear up during every 'akad nikah' (solemnisation) that I have attended (thankfully not that many! Haha), obviously it is tears of happiness. It's such a wonderful event to witness. The families grow bigger, stronger and livelier with their new additions!! Lovely!

Like most of you ladies, I also "attended" The Royal Wedding....from the comfort of my living room, that is. :) Truth be told, I wasn't hyped up about The Royal Wedding prior to it. I thought, meh, I don't even 'know' them to actually look forward to their wedding that much. Somehow, when I switched on the TV and watched the VVVVVIP's arrival, I was so excited about the whole event. Even though it was recorded, I still watched the whole event till the end. I guess what got to me was how 'huge' the wedding was. I was more excited about the people who camped out for The Wedding rather than The Couple. I wasn't that hyped up about the dress/shoes/tiara she will be wearing, I mean it's a Royal Wedding of course she'll be all Princess-like. I was just excited because it was well, a wedding, really.

So, as I was watching The Royal Wedding, I kept thinking to myself "why are people so hyped up about this wedding?" I have friends, which are Malaysians by the way, counted down for the wedding. It was fairly reasonable if the Brits were to do it since The Couple will be their King and Queen one fine day. But why is the whole world so carried away about it?? As I was listening to the "reporters" during the wedding ceremony, they were all going on and on about how this is a fairytale wedding. Then it clicked to me, "Oh!!! Everyone (the ladies especially) could relate to this because we were brought up with this fairytale stories. Whereby a "commoner" (like us) will find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after. It's surreal but Kate Middleton showed the "World" that it is possible to live up to the dream. She showed the world that dreams really do come true if you truly believe in it".

Wow! Look at me, I sound like a Disney believer already! :p

Besides the point that we will one day find our Prince Charming, I feel that we have been brainwashed at such a young age on how weddings are supposed to be. In spite of all those wedding ceremonies that I have attended (real life or via Facebook), I have also heard of so many divorces, too many that I couldn't believe it myself. You know how marriages started with all fairytale and you just can't believe that divorces could happen! But reality check, divorces do happen despite of what religion you are.

So, why do people solve the disagreements in their marriage with divorce? There are one too many reasons on why divorce is the solution to this dissolution. No doubt Allah swt have advised us to not end our marriage with divorce. However, HE has also given us a thorough 'manual' on how to divorce if this is the only way out (refer Surah Al Talaq). Yes, Islam discourages divorce but it also recognises it.

When a couple have officially divorced, they are normally being looked at differently by society. To us, divorce is NEVER a solution. But who are we to judge? The Prophet (SalAllahualaihi Wassalam) is narrated to have said: To Allah, mighty is He and majestic, the most hateful of the halal is divorce. (Abu Dawud) So, if Allah the Almighty can accept divorce, why couldn't we?  Sometimes we tend to forget that our FATE to marry or divorce is in Allah's 'hand'. Why is it that we can be happy for newlyweds but when we hear of a divorce, we try to distant ourselves from the couple? This is definitely not the way of Islam. We have to believe that Allah is the only judge no matter what.

Without a doubt, marriages do begin with lots of love and tranquillity. Somewhere along the line, something is bound to change. Kids (especially), carrier, money, boredom etc etc is a reason to why divorces happen. Allah said: If a couple do seperate, Allah will enrich each of them from His boundless wealth. Allah is All-Encompassing, All Wise. (Surah an-Nisa' 4:130) Nowadays, affair seems to be the top of the chart for divorce. Couples choose to settle their marriage with divorce as soon as they hear about their other half's affair. Personally, affair is one thing that I believe could be overcome in marriages especially for Muslim couples. I am not trying to sound like a pro-divorce, that is soooooo far from it. However, I do believe that there is a way to settle marriage disagreements other than "divorce".

I will end my entry here for now, but Insha'Allah in the next few days (if I'm not in labour) I will continue my thoughts on affairs. So please don't take this entry as the end of "Iva the pro divorce". Lol! There is a lot more to what I have to say, Insha'Allah.

To be continued....... Insha'Allah.