Along the years, my Mom started educating me more about hijab. She taught me why girls have to cover themselves. Finally I understood the meaning of hijab for definite. I always thought to myself, why is it that girls do not wear hijab if it is 'wajib' upon us to wear it? I dare not ask any of my friends why they do not wear the hijab. I had friends who tried to wear the hijab but every now and then they'll go back to their 'free hair' days. Never did I have the guts to question their actions. To be honest, my close friends are mostly non hijabis however, our friendship still remained regardless of our appearances.
Recently when I was in Malaysia, my best friend asked me, "Iva, you have been wearing headscarf ever since I could remember. Why is it that you never forced/asked me to wear the headscarf too?" My answer to her was "Tasha, I believe that one fine day Allah will open your mind and heart when HE thinks you are ready to wear hijab. Maybe the reason you are my bestfriend is because HE wants you to see how my life as a hijabi has been so far and to learn from it. Personally, I don't even know how to advise you on wearing the hijab because I don't want to advise you the wrong way and put you off hijab straight away." As per the hadith narrated Abu Musa that when Allah's Messenger salallahualaihiwasalam sent him and Mu'adh bin Jabal to Yemen, he said to them, "Make things easy for the people(treat the people in the most agreeable easy way), and do not make things difficult for them, and give them glad tidings, and do not repel them(i.e TO MAKE THE PEOPLE HATE GOOD DEEDS AND TO RUN AWAY FROM ISLAM), and you should both work in cooperation and mutual understanding, obey each other." [Sahih Bukhari] She understood my point and agreed that she was not ready to wear the hijab yet. No doubt she's been thinking about it but she just doesn't feel fully ready to wear the hijab.
I've never looked or acted differently with people who don't wear the hijab. Personally, I know how hard it is to be a hijabi. Realise how I used headscarf at the beginning? This was because at that time I wasn't dressed as how we are asked to in the Al-Quran:
- "And enjoin believing women to cast down their looks and guard their private oarts and not reveal their adronment except that which is revealed of itself, and to draw their viels over their bosoms................"(Al-Nur:31)
- O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outergarments (jilbabs) close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not molested. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-Ahzab:59)
Like I said, I was still wearing inappropriate clothing for a while even though I was already wearing a headscarf. So for a non hijabi who wants to become a hijabi, they really need to change a lot. For starters, they need to see if their wardrobe are fully hijab friendly ie; modest clothing. If not, they would have to revamp and start from scratch and this of course incurs money. But hey, if there's a will there's always a way, Insha'Allah.
The reason I have never asked my friends about hijab is because I don't feel I am ready to reason out with them at that time. I wouldn't want them to question me and they won't get the answer that they need. Alhamdulillah now that I know why and how important it is for us to wear the hijab, I welcome questions from anyone regarding hijab. I have had people asking me how I could possibly wear a hijab in Sunny Malaysia, but of course the most famous question is, why do I even have to wear hijab (this of course came from my friends in the UK). Since I have searched and been bombarded with these questions, I can finally answer them with confidence and not give the 'because my Mom asked me to and it states in the Quran'. I have also had experience on wearing it and befriend people who don't, I know what's the difference of being a hijabi and non hijabi have towards the society.
So, if any of you are thinking of wearing the hijab, first ask yourself, why are you wanting to wear it? How important it is to wear it? How would it affect your lifestyle if you were to wear it? Ask yourself or discuss with others if you are having doubts, Insha'Allah, HE will guide you through it once you have set your mind for it. I am sure most of us girls' are scared that we won't look pretty if we were to wear the hijab, again, keep asking yourself, would Allah-our own creator make us look like a fool/unpretty? If you yourself were to do anything, wouldn't you give the best output to it? Of course you would want people to be impressed with your good work, right? So again, would Allah, our creator want us to look ugly when HE has planned everything way carefully and perfectly?? The answer is, ABSOLUTELY NOT! Don't hesitate to ask questions. Talking and sharing your thoughts with others will Insha'Allah broaden your mind more. Don't just leave your thoughts to the side. In the end of the day, Allah swt will help you through it, regardless!