Thursday, September 30, 2010

Little project

I miss my blog! But I'm so tied up with a li'l project I'm working. Hoping to finalise by end of October. Insha'Allah. Do wait up for some seriously juicy updates! ;)
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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Why go FB hiatus?

Do you remember the time when Facebook had the word 'is' in its status update? Do you remember the time when 'giving drinks, poking,slapping etc etc' your friends on Facebook seems to be interesting? Do you remember the time when whatever you say on Facebook isn't being 'published' to all? Well I do and I miss those times.

I first joined FB when I was still in Uni, year 2008. That time it wasn't a big hit at all. Myspace was still the famous social networking site. Somewhere along the way everyone I know or used to know is on FB. I remember I had to explain to Iskandar what FB is all about. Since he's not into social networking websites, we decided to just share an account to add our family and friends. Until today, we are still sharing the same account. We don't find it a necessity to have separate accounts because I know his family and friends and he knows mine. Instead of adding on separate accounts we might as well do it on one. Sometimes people get confused as to who updates the status. Truth be told, Iskandar's only updated the status about once or twice, no joke!!

I'm so pleased that my husband doesn't care about this social networking because to me it's such a girl's thing. No doubt he still checks his friend's profile for updates which most of the time remains the same for monthss! Typical guys I tell ya! So he does go on FB once in awhile. I say FB is a girl's thing because majority of people who updates status on 'our' FB are girls. Almost 90% of the statuses are pure vanity and emotional outburst, I am definitely not kidding! Seeing these statuses made me look back at mine and think, is there really a necessity to share every single thing that I do?? I somehow felt embarrassed with most of my status updates and picture updates. It somehow just doesn't seem right to do it anymore. So that's why I took a break from FB, to reflect on myself and what I 'share' to the 'world'. 

The other thing that gets to me is how some status updates are pure lies! I say this because I know these people very much! Too much that when I read their status it will make me cringe and think, "why do you have to put on a fa├žade on your status update/wall?!". It surely is saddening because people don't realise that what they write will one day be transcribed back to us. These words will be read back when we die. So, why pretend? The world that we are living in is temporary. Don't try to embarrass ourselves in the hereafter when everything is read back to us.

Facebook is evil to some point. No doubt it has its benefits and good points too! Sometimes, there are things that you are just not supposed to say out loud but you do. You don't know who you're hurting even if your intention was to just 'share'. I have decided that if I have nothing Islamic or family related to say, I will not share anything on my status updates. I don't share anything and everything about Islam, the things that I have never attempted to do in myself I will never share. Whenever I write these status updates I'm not bothered of how many 'likes' or 'comments' I get. I would rather people think about what is said on my status rather than just liking the status. I always have hopes that if people like my Islamic status they might act upon it. But Iskandar's told me to not put high hopes on that, because if Allah wants to give them 'hidayah' He will do no matter how obvious I have conveyed the message.

I always pray that Allah swt will always open our heart and mind to the right path. There's nothing worth talking about other than Allah and Islam. I have come to a point I can't speak to some people because of our differences in practising Islam. It's a shame, a true shame. But I never stopped praying that these people will get the hidayah from Allah swt.
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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Of being a Muslimah in Malaysia and the UK

A few weeks ago, I received a Facebook msg from one of my readers (Sister Naz). In her PM, she asked "how did u overcome living in a non muslim country from a muslim country? i would like to know more." Having read her PM only then I realised I have never spoken about my migration to the UK. So, sister Naz, if you don't mind, I'm sharing this response in my blog.

Normally, when I come across new people in the UK they will always ask me "how long have you been in the UK?" And of course, my answer changes every day, so for today the answer will be "8 years, 9 months and .... days" Yup, I can get it that precise because the date I first entered the UK is a memorable date and whenever I have to fill in documents in the UK, they will ask me that question. Want it or not, I have to know the exact period I've been here! Some might feel that 8 years is such a long time but to me, I've still not had enough of the UK. I have to say that my day in and out routine in the UK is monotonous and somewhat boring to some. It's always, wake up, get Khairaldin ready, bla bla bla bla (u don't really wanna know) and so on, it's the same everyday! But I never get bored of it. I feel the day seems quicker if I have the same routine because I can do it like a pro. :D When I have new things to accomplish, I feel like it's a drag coz I don't know when it's going to end. I'm sure some of you might have an opposite view altogether.

UK, as compared to Malaysia is a peaceful and quiet place to live in. They don't have those 24 hours 7 days a week shops to waste your precious time at. I feel rather tired everytime I go back to Malaysia because life begins after 11pm, unlike in the UK, I'm in bed by 11. So I have better things to do in the morning and not feel lethargic and lazy instead. I have always been an introvert person that's why I can live in the UK.

As for the question about living in a non-muslim country, truthfully, I've never taken that question into consideration... maybe because I have never came across it before. Personally to me, I don't think Malaysia as an Islamic country so there's no difference in that aspect. No doubt I learnt more about Islam in Malaysia but education in Malaysia is all about theory rather than practice. We learn and learn things but hardly ever put them into practise. We were asked to memorise this and that du'as which we will do it for the exams and once it's done, it's being forgotten.

In the UK however, I mix around with a lot of non-muslims. My passion for Islam grew even more when I came to the UK. Reason is because people are rather intrigued with the things we Muslims do hence they ask loads of questions. Sometimes I just don't have the answers in hand to give them. When I started college, my mates bombarded me with questions about hijab, Halal food, muslim women etc etc. Sometimes I just could not answer them. This then made me want to learn more about why I do the things I do. Of course most of the time I answer "because my religion tells me to/because it's in our Holy book (Al-Quran)" but this isn't the answer they want to hear. Heck, even I find that answer rather inappropriate and as if I'm bashing my religion! So I had to re-learn about Islam to make myself satisfied. Thankfully my parents packed me some easy-to-understand books on Islam, prayers and so forth. I started reading slowly and Alhamdulillah, now I managed to give them answers that made them satisfied and not leave them blank.

Even though I am able to answer their questions, I did not stop learning about Islam. When I got married, my life changed even more. Having a husband makes u think about the religion even more. Some famous wedding vows almost always ends with "till death do us apart!" but I always think, how can that be? We are married for years and what will happen to us after we die?? Does our relationship ends there and then? No, in Islam, husband and wife will carry on living together even in the 'after life'. So I became more passionate about Islam and wanting to know how I can maintain this love and relationship. I suppose you can now guess why I became more "Islamic" ever since I gave birth to Khairaldin? My heart not only grew for the people I love but mostly for my beautiful religion- Islam! I don't want my love and hardwork ends in this world but I would rather bring it over to the hereafter. That is why I'm working extra hard to learn about Islam so that I will live happily in the hereafter, Insha'Allah.

The knowledge about Islam doesn't end because of where you live or planning to live. In fact, if you plan to migrate with the intention of getting closer to Allah swt, Insha'Allah, your heart will tend to open and accept HIM. It is good to go from one place to the other to broaden our knowledge. The only thing is to always make sure that our intention is to do it for Allah swt. Here's a hadith that I came across: `Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The reward of deeds depends upon intentions, and every person will get his reward according to what he has intended. So, [for] whoever emigrated for Allah and His Messenger, his emigration was for Allah and His Messenger. And [as for] whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he had emigrated for" (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

No matter where you are, Insha'Allah, HE will always be there to guide you to the right path. Remember to seek HIS guidance when in doubt as HE loves those who seeks HIM! Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with thee unless thou follow their form of religion. Say: "The Guidance of Allah,-that is the (only) Guidance." Wert thou to follow their desires after the knowledge which hath reached thee, then wouldst thou find neither Protector nor helper against Allah (Surah Al-baqarah verse 120). So, don't be afraid to move to a non muslim country, make sure your intention is to be closer to Allah swt always. Who knows with you being the minority could lead to the place being a better one. Insha'Allah!
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Wednesday, September 08, 2010


Whenever I watch this video it'll bring tears to my eyes. Seeing how a 1 year old toddler prostrate whenever he hears the word 'Allahuakbar' is just surreal. No doubt Khairaldin's first step means a lot to us, but this, was beyond our imagination! We never thought that he would learn this fast but Alhamdulillah, he knows why he's sent to this world.

Khairaldin, Mommy and Abah will always make do'a for you that you'll be guided to the right path. Please don't make the dunya your priority as it will only make you miserable. Insha'Allah, we will try and be there to teach you as much as we can. If we are not here when you grow up, the only thing we ask from you is to make du'a for us so that we'll meet each other again. AMIN!!

As for my Mommy, Daddy, Abah and Mama, we will always make du'a for you! You have always been in our prayers. We am really sorry if we have ever disobeyed you but we know now that nothing matters to you other than our du'a and to be a good Ummah. And we promise, Insha'Allah, we will try our best to always worship the Almighty Allah!

Final day of Ramadhan 1431 :'(

Alhamdulillah! We've still got one day of Ramadhan left to continue worshipping our creator without any distraction from the devils! This Ramadhan has been a different one compared to my previous years. I used to countdown the days to Syawal and getting excited about Syawal but this year, I am really sad to see it leave us behind.

Ramadhan, the month of the Quran first being revealed and the ending of its revelation to our Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam. It's such a peaceful and sacred month to every one of us Muslims. I used to fast for the sake of fasting and not knowing the background story. However, since I know what Ramadhan is all about it just brings tears to my eyes. I always think 'Ya Allah! After all that the Prophet's gone through for us, how could we take this month so lightly?!" It's a shame to know people who would fast for hoursssss but still do not worship Allah. It saddens me EVERY single time! But hey, if Allah wants to open their heart, in an instant he would do it. So, I can only pray every day and night that Allah will open those people's heart to the right path. Insha'Allah!!!

I have to say, restraining myself from eating and drinking was the easiest part of Ramadhan. I also managed to khatam the Quran and do as much Solat Sunat, Alhamdulillah! However, I can't deny that I am still working towards being a better person by not talking about others behind their back. That's the hardest part of all!! Ya Allah, please help me through this stage as I really do not want to be backbiting anyone, ever again!! Amin!

Anyway, as Ramadhan is slowly creeping away and the devils are slowly creeping out, let me just take this moment to ask for forgiveness from every single one of you who are reading. I am sorry for any wrong things I have said and done. I am a normal human being with mistakes. If there are any wrongdoings of mine that you would like to point out, please do so as I would love to work on becoming a better person. Insha'Allah! Ya Allah, I am really begging for your forgiveness!!!!! Amin Yarabbal Alamin.

I hope I will be around next Ramadhan to worship HIM and keep on doing good deeds in this life. If not, I pray that I will continue doing what I have been doing and be placed amongst the righteous people. AMIN!
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Monday, September 06, 2010

Camel hump or beehive Hijab? You choose.

Recently there has been an issue about wearing those "volumised" type of hijabs. I heard about this issue in Malaysia and I guess in the UK we are just about to catch up with the 'trend'. Before I start, let me just say that I have no intention on interpreting the Hadiths, as I am in no place to do so. However, I am just intrigued as to how people think about the said topic.

Ok, so let's talk about the "volumised hijab". People are getting conscious about this style because there is a Hadith that states: Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said. "I will not be a witness for two types of people who are destined for the Fire: people with whips, like the tails of cows, who beat the people (ie, tyrannical rulers who are the enmies of their own people), and women who, although clothed, are yet naked, seducing and being seduced, their hair styled like the tilted humps of camels. These will not enter the Garden nor will its fragrance even reach them, although its fragrance reaches a very great distance. (Reported by Muslim). There have been a few questions being raised regarding this hadith.

The famous question is, how big of the hump is considered too big/unacceptable??!

I have to say that internet has been the best source for getting information. We can get merely anything and everything from the internet. However, when it comes to Islamic topic that we are unsure of it's always BEST to seek the knowledge from a reputable scholar, if possible face-to-face or directly as we do not know who is behind those Usernames. Facebook can also be beneficial sometimes, but most of the time, it is rather evil. We could get infos that we need to know from some of the groups we've joined BUT are they infos we are sure to be valid or are they infos we have been WANTING to hear regardless of it being right or wrong? The info we get might not be true but since that is what we want to hear, we will take it all in and claim it to be very sufficient and precise explanation.

So back to the hijab question, personally to me, people should not raise question about the size of the hump. It states in the hadith as "humps of camel" but why make ourselves confused as to the size of the hump? Why not go further down the line and find out how wrong it is to adorn such style? The real question is, WHY risk it???! Why would one go to an extent of beautifying themselves but at the same time is not sure of what is the proper Islamic/Halal way to do it?

When it comes to Hadiths, we cannot just pick and choose what suits us. We have to read other Hadiths to be sure of what is being said. There are Hadiths about doubtfulness. Why not seek those type of Hadith while we are at it. For instance, in this discussed topic, the people who were discussing the topic have not consulted any scholars opinion as to the size of it hence, they are still in doubt about the size of the hump. Here are a few Hadiths about being in doubt:

On the authority of Al-Hasan bin Ali, the grandson of the messenger of Allah, who said : I memorized from the messenger of Allah his saying :"Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : The messenger of Allah said :"Part of someone's being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : the messenger of Allah said :"Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah has commanded the faithful to do that which he commanded the messengers, and the Almighty has said: "O ye messengers ! Eat of the good things and do right". And Allah the Almighty has said : "O ye who believe! Eat of the good things where with We have provided you" Then he mentioned [the case of] a man who, having journeyed far, is dishevelled and dusty and who spreads out his hands to the sky [saying] : "O Lord! O Lord!" - while his food is unlawful, his drink unlawful, his clothing unlawful, and he is nourished unlawfully, so how can he be answered !" related by Muslim.

This topic was raised in one of the "fashion" hijab Facebook group. What annoyed me most is not that this topic was being discussed, but instead, people are promoting a video to make this "hump" not so camel-like, apparently small enough to be acceptable. How sure are they that this is the "perfect size"? I don't get annoyed easily but when people use Islam as a shield to make everything possible, then I get annoyed and furious. The thing that was really annoying is not about the question of the "hump" itself, I don't mind the question. It's good to know that people are asking questions before commiting to do something. I don't mind if it was their natural hair that created this "acceptable hump" either but..... The worse part of it was that, there are people who is making Youtube videos teaching people to use fake flower clips to make this volumised look!!! What is the necessity to this if I may ask?

Sometimes there are a few people who would come out with such discussions because they want to know what the fatwaa says about so and so. But to me, in the end of the day, it is your TAQWA (self-restraint) that should be taken into consirderation. If you feel the doubt and don't feel confident, then ask yourself.....

Why do you NEED to commit into such a thing?
How do u FEEL when you do it?
How do you feel when you know forbidden things have been stated in the Quran and Hadith and yet you're still doing it?
Also, since many of us are not sure how big this hump is supposed to be, why not just do a normal Hijab style?
Why do things that are of a grey area and jeopradise ourselves in the Hereafter?

Sorry for the bit of rant but I think Fashion and Islam just do not go along together. No doubt we are meant to look great and presentable but to an extent of risking ones good deeds? There was an interpretation about the hadith that I find rather clear and would like to share it here. Ru’oosahunna ka asnimat il-bukht (translated here as “with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels”), this may mean that they make their heads look bigger with veils and turbans, which are wrapped around the head, so that they look like the humps of camels. This is the well-known interpretation. Al-Maaziri said: it may be that what is meant is that they will not lower their gaze in the presence of men, rather they will look directly at them. Allah knows best. Iskandar pointed out to me that with those big huge hijab/hair, it would be difficult to carry the weight forward therefore the head would be tilted too far back (see picture above) and it's difficult and doesn't feel natural to tilt the head downwards to lower the gaze. So, this brings us to an ayah "Allah does not love any proud boaster". (57:23) Also a hadith agreed upon by Bukhari and Muslim, The Prophet (peace be on him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride."

If you have extra time, do read up Iskandar's blog about dressing moderately. Insha'Allah it will be beneficial info.

May we guide each other to the righteous path, Insha'Allah. Choose wisely not randomly, as ALLAH knows what's best for us.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

You're not very hijabi, are you? OUCH!!!

I have been joining a few Facebook groups to do with "fashion hijabs" lately. Some of the groups are truly inspiring as to how their styles are Islamic and 'Halal'. Yes, you'd presume when it's Islamic it has to be Halal too, right? However, nowadays people claim so many things to be 'Halal' and yet when we do thorough research, it's not as Halal as it is claimed to be. I'm not talking about food but more to "fashion" and clothing. The word Halal has been thrown around aimlessly in the beauty world just to attract Muslim women. There is also 'Halal' make-ups being introduced. Question is, how is there such a thing as Halal make ups? Could they only mean the ingredients? As far as my knowledge goes, I am sure it is not permissible for Muslim women to wear make ups in public. So when the word 'halal' is being used, I would instantly think "OH! It's Halal to wear make ups!" That is where the confusion begins which will accumulate our sins.

I haven't been a true hijabi myself. No doubt I used to wear skinny jeans, almost tight fitting tops and etc etc. Until one point when I was in town an 'Alim' brother stopped me and said "Salaam Sister, could I just give you some advice?" That instant, I knew what it was going to be about but hesitantly I said "yes, go on then." The Alim brother started telling me hijab is not only about covering your hair, it's about dressing modestly etc etc. You know the typical statements you hear even after years of being a hijabi! I just nodded and thanked him for the advice. I walked away feeling so furious and thought, "how dare he stopped me and started preaching all those stuff?! Isn't there an ayah in the Quran that he should be lowering his gaze or something like that??!" And yes, there is. "(O Prophet), Enjoin believing men to cast down their looks and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is well aware of all what they do." Surah al-Nur verse 30.

I got home and told Iskandar about it, of course he felt uncomfortable but not towards what the Alim has advised but instead for letting me go out in that attire. Time and again Iskandar has told me to dress loosely but I take it very lightly. Iskandar doesn't wanna repeat himself over and over again since if I don't commit to it, I'm just committing sins. So, in a way he was glad someone else stopped me and told me off, because sometimes it just take another to make me realise. Alhamdulillah, that person has made me realise how wrong I have been dressing all along. About the ayah I mentioned above, well, apparently we ladies we just want to read and know what we want to know! True enough. If we read further that ayah, there's another advice for us ladies.. “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” Surah Al-Nur verse 31

After reading that, I questioned myself "should I be angry with that person for advising me?" Indeed he has to lower his gaze but have I done my part and dressed modestly? He might have lowered his gaze but the way I was dressing was rather appealing and made him want to say or do things to me. So, it is partly my fault for inviting him to look at me. Ever since then, I have tried my very best to wear loose skirts and if I do wear jeans, to make sure my top covers most of my revealing parts. It was hard at first, but Alhamdulillah. I have managed to do it.

I will write another entry about our common practice/mistakes where we pick and choose our "knowledge" just to suit our lifestyle, Insha'Allah.