Saturday, April 09, 2011

MP Ibrahim Ali: "Men have extramarital sex as wives neglect duty"

Normally, I will read the Malaysian tabloids with a pinch of salt. But on Friday, I tried so many other 'seasoning' yet the news still came to me in a rather disgusting, annoying and furious way!! Click on the picture above to read the full article for yourself. Basically, the interview was with a fellow MP who claimed that "Malaysian men have extramarital sex because of 'wives who neglect their responsibilities to their husbands' " That quote in itself could make you upset, yes? Well, when I first read it I didn't expect it to be in a sexual way. I thought what he meant was wives were not fulfilling their husband's needs in so many other ways. As soon as I read further on the article, I got upset and couldn't believe what I was reading.

For starter, this person being interviewed is a Member of Parliament (MP). One would expect MPs to come out with logical and rational statements, right? Personally, I felt his statements were rubbish and definitely uncalled for. In the interview he mentioned husbands driving home from work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges. However, wives being wives would prefer to cook rather than fulfill husband's sexual needs. Hence, husband find other people to satisfy their sexual urges. One word: SERIOUSLY?? I would love to know who he has been talking to or whose point of view is he speaking out loud from. Is it his own??? Well, he shouldn't be generalising this situation if his 'audience' is one of his own kind! I am sure there are many other reasons out there on why men have extramarital sex.

Furthermore, he had the cheek to ask the government's religious department to 'educate wives on their responsibilities.' Wow, shocking! I am all out for this 'education' because for argument's sake, those wives that were cooking definitely do not know of their rights and responsibilities in Islam. No where in Islam it states that women should be cooking for their husbands. So, since she was cooking, let's all blame it on her! Blegh.

These type of people make Islam sound like an alienated religion. They are the people who will make people think of negative things about Islam. What was he trying to prove? That Islam is a religion of SEX? If he really do want this 'educating' wives to go on, I think he's just being sexist. Shouldn't the husband get some educating as well?  For instance, couldn't the so called sexually aroused husband wait till the time is right to have sex with the wife? Isn't it obvious in the Quran that one should learn how to be patience? Here's an excerpt that I've managed to look up on patience/sabar in the Quran:

"And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not quarrel with one another lest you should lose courage and your power depart. Be STEADFAST; surely Allah is with those who remain steadfast." Surah Al-Anfal ayat 46
Just wondering though, what will happen during Ramadhan? Or even when the wives are having their monthly period? What will happen then?? Aren't we Mulims taught every once a year to be patience and one of it to resist ourselves from having sexual intercourse during the fasting period? Isn't this something we should try to apply regardless it being a month of Ramadhan or not?

I find it interesting also that he pointed out about man getting sexually aroused on their way back home. What is it that they saw on the roadside for them to have that 'sexual urges'? Let's take it from a more logical point, maybe he meant that there are 'pretty' workmates at the office and that is why they become somewhat aroused. Fair enough. But, instead of educating the wives, shouldn't they be educating the Husbands to lower their gaze?? Or if he really wants the ladies to learn something, shouldn't they be teaching the beauty of Hijab/covering themselves? I'm sure if one cover themselves up this 'sort of urges' won't happen, Insha'Allah.

Last but not least, since he mentioned about men going to 'private places' to fulfill their needs, then, they should really take action on closing these private places. Maybe this way it will teach the Husband to be patient? Husbands should know that their wives are not sex slaves! No doubt that wives duty is to obey the Husband but come on, is it everyday that the Husband comes home with this sexual urges? If that being the case, the Husband should seriously seek some help and no, I don't mean from private places but serious help!

Alright, even though I am quite annoyed with this particular MP, I think I should cut him some slacks and think that the media had quoted him wrongly. If that is the case, I think he should come out clean and apologise to the female society. His statement not only made him sound sexist but also made Islam sound like a very odd religion to be in. The beauty of Islam has definitely loss its face by the statements that he gave! Na'uzubillahiminzalik!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device


Rashida Rafar said...

well written iva ;)

Glam Mama Adriana said...

Outrageous! But your response is so eloquent - something you should write in a letter to the papers, perhaps? ;)

Anonymous said...

am not a Muslim but as a human, at home cooking is also taking care of the family which include feeding the husband. His statement seems to indicate priority is sex and nothing but sex. If what he say a typical Malaysian man come home from work do nothing but take shower, watch TV, sleep, get sex..I'd rather look elsewhere where man can share the household work. Wife work from morning till night (imagine after waking up 5am to prep breakfast for whole family, errands at home for home, get kids from school, prep lunch n dinner,shower and still have to serve the husband's need of sex) its a SLAVE position.. Of all the list of works, wife, u get blame on 1 thing that you had neglected your duty of not providing sex on the spot at the minute your husband demand it. the rest of the tasks wife did is useless. Like Jackie Chan no different. Maybe this MP is teaching his children that wife is a woman and a woman is a sex machine and in another way of teaching disrespect for women..