Monday, June 06, 2011

From The Royal Wedding to divorce?????

Yes yes, I KNOW the divorce "news" on Will & Kate is just a rumour. But this entry is somehow inspired by them :)


Alhamdulillah, in my 4 years of marriage, I've heard of so many family and friends getting hitched. It's such a wonderful news. I love marriages! I tear up during every 'akad nikah' (solemnisation) that I have attended (thankfully not that many! Haha), obviously it is tears of happiness. It's such a wonderful event to witness. The families grow bigger, stronger and livelier with their new additions!! Lovely!

Like most of you ladies, I also "attended" The Royal Wedding....from the comfort of my living room, that is. :) Truth be told, I wasn't hyped up about The Royal Wedding prior to it. I thought, meh, I don't even 'know' them to actually look forward to their wedding that much. Somehow, when I switched on the TV and watched the VVVVVIP's arrival, I was so excited about the whole event. Even though it was recorded, I still watched the whole event till the end. I guess what got to me was how 'huge' the wedding was. I was more excited about the people who camped out for The Wedding rather than The Couple. I wasn't that hyped up about the dress/shoes/tiara she will be wearing, I mean it's a Royal Wedding of course she'll be all Princess-like. I was just excited because it was well, a wedding, really.

So, as I was watching The Royal Wedding, I kept thinking to myself "why are people so hyped up about this wedding?" I have friends, which are Malaysians by the way, counted down for the wedding. It was fairly reasonable if the Brits were to do it since The Couple will be their King and Queen one fine day. But why is the whole world so carried away about it?? As I was listening to the "reporters" during the wedding ceremony, they were all going on and on about how this is a fairytale wedding. Then it clicked to me, "Oh!!! Everyone (the ladies especially) could relate to this because we were brought up with this fairytale stories. Whereby a "commoner" (like us) will find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after. It's surreal but Kate Middleton showed the "World" that it is possible to live up to the dream. She showed the world that dreams really do come true if you truly believe in it".

Wow! Look at me, I sound like a Disney believer already! :p

Besides the point that we will one day find our Prince Charming, I feel that we have been brainwashed at such a young age on how weddings are supposed to be. In spite of all those wedding ceremonies that I have attended (real life or via Facebook), I have also heard of so many divorces, too many that I couldn't believe it myself. You know how marriages started with all fairytale and you just can't believe that divorces could happen! But reality check, divorces do happen despite of what religion you are.

So, why do people solve the disagreements in their marriage with divorce? There are one too many reasons on why divorce is the solution to this dissolution. No doubt Allah swt have advised us to not end our marriage with divorce. However, HE has also given us a thorough 'manual' on how to divorce if this is the only way out (refer Surah Al Talaq). Yes, Islam discourages divorce but it also recognises it.

When a couple have officially divorced, they are normally being looked at differently by society. To us, divorce is NEVER a solution. But who are we to judge? The Prophet (SalAllahualaihi Wassalam) is narrated to have said: To Allah, mighty is He and majestic, the most hateful of the halal is divorce. (Abu Dawud) So, if Allah the Almighty can accept divorce, why couldn't we?  Sometimes we tend to forget that our FATE to marry or divorce is in Allah's 'hand'. Why is it that we can be happy for newlyweds but when we hear of a divorce, we try to distant ourselves from the couple? This is definitely not the way of Islam. We have to believe that Allah is the only judge no matter what.

Without a doubt, marriages do begin with lots of love and tranquillity. Somewhere along the line, something is bound to change. Kids (especially), carrier, money, boredom etc etc is a reason to why divorces happen. Allah said: If a couple do seperate, Allah will enrich each of them from His boundless wealth. Allah is All-Encompassing, All Wise. (Surah an-Nisa' 4:130) Nowadays, affair seems to be the top of the chart for divorce. Couples choose to settle their marriage with divorce as soon as they hear about their other half's affair. Personally, affair is one thing that I believe could be overcome in marriages especially for Muslim couples. I am not trying to sound like a pro-divorce, that is soooooo far from it. However, I do believe that there is a way to settle marriage disagreements other than "divorce".

I will end my entry here for now, but Insha'Allah in the next few days (if I'm not in labour) I will continue my thoughts on affairs. So please don't take this entry as the end of "Iva the pro divorce". Lol! There is a lot more to what I have to say, Insha'Allah.

To be continued....... Insha'Allah.

1 comment:

Glam Mama Adriana said...

It's sad that divorce is more common these days (recently in the papers someone mentioned that in Malaysia, a divorce happens every 15mins...that is scary!). As a divorcee, I can honestly say I've had limited negative experiences post-divorce. I think a lot of people are more accepting of the idea of divorce compared to many years ago. So the increased rates have become a double-edge sword...of sorts.

My situation is just one of millions, so by no means do I speak for all divorcees, but I have to say that there can never be just ONE reason for the dissolution of marriage. No one goes into marriage thinking it will one day end in divorce - it really is a last resort. But once I embraced the fact that is was out of my control, I found that I was happier for it...and - unbelievably - became a better parent/human/person because of it! :D Strange but true.