Wednesday, July 20, 2011

2 years and 10 days.....

Raja Khalid Khairaldin & Raja Aizah Layina ( <24 hrs old)
That's the age gap between Khairaldin and Layina. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought Khairaldin will be about 1 year 11 months or younger by the time I was due. Then, we had our first scan. First estimated due date was 16th June 2011 after a few weeks, they changed it to 22nd June 2011. But in the end, Layina 'sealed the deal' with Allah swt on 26th June 2011 at 3:54pm. So, that makes her 2 years and 10 days younger than Khairaldin.

People's been asking us, "how are you managing with a toddler and newborn?" To be honest, we've not really hit reality. My parents have been around to supervise and help us around. Khairaldin's been pampered by his Nana and DaddyTok unconditionally! They've been going to Tesco almost everyday! My parents bring him out whenever they're going out. Alhamdulillah, I have been getting occasional quiet time a few days a week. I am sure things would be different if they weren't around. You just don't know how thankful I am to still have my parents even though I'm married with 2 children. Shukur Alhamdulillah!!

Since I've "spoken" about my labour/delivery, I think it's just fair to speak about how Khairaldin was doing whilst we were at the hospital. On the day of the delivery, we left Khairaldin at home with my Mom and brothers from around 6am - 11pm. I didn't prepare anything for Khairaldin as much, only bought some disposable diapers for him since it'd be a hassle for my Mom/brothers to change him into cloth diapers. They were coping alright during day time. My second brother even bought an inflatable pool to keep him occupied for good few hours. Thankfully it was also the weekend for my nephew and niece to be with us (my eldest brother's divorced in case I didn't mention :). So Khairaldin had his loved ones with him. Alhamdulillah he can speak fluently for a 2 year old, he made it easier for them to look after him. He knows what he wants in terms of food, drinks, toys and etc. Hence, it was "easy" to look after him when need be.

After speaking to Khairaldin :(
My Mom said he was fine the whole day but when it was night time, he started asking for Iskandar and I. The initial plan was for me to stay at the hospital for a night so the DR can monitor my blood loss. You see, the only thing I HATE about giving birth in the UK is that when I have to overnight at the hospital, I have to overnight ALONE with the baby! I HATE it soooooo much! It doesn't help when I called Khairaldin and he was asking our whereabouts. He was telling me about what he did the whole day. I cried and sobbed whilst on the phone with him. Iskandar even took a video of it! BOooo! It was really sad!! I've never left him behind for that long. I knew he wouldn't be able to sleep if I wasn't there. So I insisted on being discharged that night itself. Alhamdulillah the DR allowed except I had to sign a few stuff in case anything were to happen as it would be my fault then. I took the risk, packed up and left the hospital.

On the way home, I had a slight guilt. Whilst I was carrying Layina, I have read a few stuff and heard people's experience on how to 'tackle' the elder child to like the newborn baby. One famous tactic was to buy a present and to tell the elder one that the present is from their newborn sibling. I thought that was good, I'm gonna do that. Sadly, I didn't prepare beforehand so ended up with no present for Khairaldin. I was really worried because we were 'out' for hours and didn't inform/explain to him that I was going to the hospital to deliver baby (because he was still asleep) and then suddenly I'm coming home with another human being? That would definitely make him jealous, so I thought. Since it was already 11pm on a Sunday, we had no choice but to just brave it and go home to see Khairaldin.

Brother & Sister getting to know one another :)
As soon as I entered the house with Layina, Khairaldin was already expecting and welcoming Layina with a hugeeeee smile on his face! He was surprised that Layina was no more in my tummy but definitely loving the newborn baby. He kissed her, talked to her and was just being a big brother really. I was in tears, again! Blegh hormones! It was amazing how he could love and connect with Layina straight away. The only way he knew about "baby" was when we taught him to 'talk' to "baby" when I was pregnant. He will come to my tummy and kiss it and call "baby, baby, baby" with his own tune. Even when he was playing the iPod he would stop and talk to baby whenever we ask "where's baby?" It's like he knew that one day this "baby" will be his blood brother or sister. Truthfully, Khairaldin is not a gentle person when it comes to other children or babies. He will be all possessive and hit the kid whenever I am holding them. So, I was not surprised if he were to do the exact same thing to Layina. Then, he managed to surprise us by being such an adorable child/brother! He touched her with such love and care. He held her hand so gently (I still had fear that he was gonna break her tiny li'l fingers or sum'n, but he didn't). No doubt he can be a nuisance to her but only by kissing her every 5 mins! We were all so surprise by how loving he has been with Layina. SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah) and Alhamdulillah!!!

Their afternoon naptime
As days go by his love for Layina blooms even more. There are occasions when he feel we are concentrating more on Layina than him. For instance if my parents say "Assalamualaikum Layina", he will go to my parents and say "Assalamualaikum Kha-din". It's like, just in case you forgot my existence kinda thing. :) Also at night, since he's always slept with me he becomes rather stubborn and start to cry whenever I'm nursing Layina during his bedtime. What I normally do is feed Layina and let Iskandar put her to sleep. Khairaldin just cannot sleep with anyone during night time because I've always pampered him and wanting to do everything on my own :D Now, it's Iskandar's time with Layina. ;)

Blessed to have us in her life ;)
Most of us (even myself) are scared to have a second baby at such close gap. Since I've experienced it now, I feel 2 years difference is a perfect age gap as the elder one is too engrossed learning new things and they are not too pampered and attached just yet. I think the longer the age gap, the more difficult it would be as they've been too attached and can't accept the fact they have to 'let go' of their parents. Then again, I'm sure everyone has different story to tell, and this is mine. :)

Ps: Don't worry, I am ready for their sibling rivalry days. I'm sure that day will come but for now, I will embrace the moment when they truly love one another.

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