Why I 'left' Facebook....

To be honest, I never thought there was a necessity to be writing this post but it's unreal how many people have been asking me again and again on when I'm gonna reactivate my Facebook account and why I left etc etc, I'm hoping this post will answer all your doubtful thoughts :) First and foremost, no, I didn't 'leave Facebook because I had any sort of misunderstanding with anyone, especially with family members. I hope this entry will make it clear that I left because I feel the 'need' to do so.

Basically the urge on leaving FB has been with me for so long. I realised how addicted I was to it. It was like every single thing I had to 'document' on Facebook. Every time we go for an outing, I have to bring my phone along. I have never been a phone-person, which means having to have my phone everywhere I go was never a necessity. When FB and Khairaldin came along, I've always wanted to show him to the world kinda thing. I became proud, yes I realised it, Alhamdulillah and I'm so thankful I stopped when I had to. Although, I have been using excuses about having to update because I am so faraway from family and friends. Truthfully, I became big headed whenever I get likes or positive comments on my pictures or posts.

Again, Alhamdulillah, when I went back to Malaysia, I suddenly felt the necessity to delete my Facebook account. Life was just different with Facebook. Way too different. I didn't expect people would be who they became, Facebook people. Before Facebook existed, I used to go back to Malaysia every Summer and when I do, I would always ring my relatives straight after subuh because I'd be up coz of jetlag and also it'd be a surprise to them to know that I'm back. We would straight away plan for lunch or dinner the same day and just basically catch up. But not recently. Everyone knew I was going to Malaysia because I was counting down and everyone expected me to be there as and when I said I was going to be there. Visiting relatives took its time because we felt we know everything about each other through FB. It was as if everything on FB was sufficient enough that we didn't need to find time to just be there with each other.

I didn't expect to meet up with as many friends as I used to because everyone was busy with their own life, work, family etc etc. But in fact I did. I met way too many people. I met up with close friends and also friends that I used to just say 'hi and bye'. As much as I was honoured to be 'celebrated', I also felt as if I was just their "Facebook update". It seems as though I was only there for picture time and it then went straight to FB. Suffice to say, it felt awkward. We hardly make conversations but when the camera is out, we are all hugging and smiling from ear to ear. So yes, the urge of leaving Facebook was rather strong. One day I woke up and I thought, is this really the life I want to live?

I'm not gonna deny that I miss FB. Sometimes I do, as I'd have something to read about but how far will that go? Reading and getting updates about others life is fun but it's also a different case sometimes. We take FB status like as though the person is talking to us, but how are we so sure it's the truth? How can we be sure that updates were straight from their thoughts and we're no edited to make it sound nice? And also, we as the "updater", how are we sure that our updates were not used for further interpretation, even though we don't mean it the way others would interpret it? Sometimes even our innocent thoughts could be brought as a debate. Sometimes we might update something about ourself but people think it's about their life, and again it becomes a different story. How many updates you put on would get a personal message from others. Good for you if you do, at least you know people cared. Last but not least,  try and observe this, when you do go on an outing, how many times does the word FB being uttered? Well, basically I've had enough of that life. :) I want people to personally ask me how I was doing not because I've given a big hint on my FB status. And also, I wanna be more in people's life than on their Facebook Page. :) Alhamdulillah, I'm living the life now. Outing without the camera/phone seem to be a breeze.

Now I've come to realise that out of my hundreds of family and friends on FB, I  can now be sure that only a few people really care about my family and I. Those who cared would take the extra length on finding out ways to still keep in touch. To those of you, thank you! We doubted life after FB but hey look at us now,we seem to know more about each other than we had ever before. From the bottom of my heart, you know who you are, thank you for being part of my life and for understanding my need to just stay off FB. ;)

Btw, I'm not gonna deny that I still check FB (through Iskandar's profile) but the only difference is, his FB Page is much beneficial than mine. He's only got approx 40 odd friends, and I'm sure those are true friends and I check only because of Mufti Menk's wise words and today he said : "Nowadays more homes are unhappy due to spouses or family members trying to keep online friends happy at the expense of those around them." This is so true SubhanAllah! Before I get deleted from my husband/children's life, I took the big step of deleting my Fakebook. :) The book that is worth making an impression of is the book the angels are writing about me, definitely not the book my family/friends are writing on- Facebook.

In the end of the day, everyone has their own story about Facebook but this is mine and I'm staying away for as long as I can. Sorry but I'm not reactivating my personal page, inshaAllah.

Ramadhan reflection! SubhaAllah Alhamdulillah!

Masha'Allah! It's the 28th of Ramadhan today. It's true when they say time will passby so quickly when you're enjoying yourself. Ramadhan has always been the 'hi and bye' month for me. We plan to do so much and the next thing we know it's already leaving us behind. O Allah, I really miss the month of Ramadhan, I pray that I will see many more Ramadhan so that I can continue to better myself. I can't deny that I need Ramadhan to help me better myself. Alhamdulillah shukur I have seen a few changes in my everyday life. I'm so thankful that Allah taala is listening to my prayers, just what I desperately need.

Yesterday, on the 27th night of Ramadhan whilst I was performing my night prayers, I felt really down. I didn't want the time to tick any longer. I just wanted to be in the prostration position to 'talk' to my creator. Someone who would continuously listen to me even though I have wronged Him one too many times. I felt at that time He was listening to my every need, SubhanAllah! Then again in the end of the day, I have to accept that this day will come to an end, this month will not wait for me even though I'm not ready to leave! At that point I had to comfort myself by reminding me that it is not my Lord that is leaving me! It is ME who would selfishly and conveniently *forget* about him after Ramadhan. It's embarrassing how I would go all out during Ramadhan and when it's not here anymore, I long for another one so that I could do the same.

This Ramadhan has really taught me a lot. From being a servant to Allah, wife, mother, daughter and sister. It has taught me the balance in life. It has reminded me that I can achieve what I want if I put my heart and soul into it. For instance, hubby and I managed to finish the Quran on the day of Nuzul Quran. We were well ahead in our Quranic reading. This only prove that kids aren't barriers to my Worshipping time. If i really wanted to read the Quran before/after Ramadhan, I now know that I have to be stern with myself. I can't keep blaming my kids or time for not being on my side because Masha'Allah, they have been such a great sport! They not only let us carry on with our Quran reading time but they have also showed the need to grab the Quran for us after every prayers. It's made them understand the importance of the Quran and the value of it, Alhamdulillah!

Yes,great things doesn't come easily! I have had my fair share of struggles as well. My struggles made me realise how much my parents, especially my Mom has struggled for me and the family too. I am truly amazed at how Mom managed to juggle between family and time for Allah. You see, I was breastfed for a good 4-5 years, yes, that long! When Ramadhan came, I had such struggle juggling between Layina and my night prayers. Since Ramadhan came during Summer time, my body clock just went haywire! We started off with Imsak at 3+am and Iftar at 9:40pm. By the time we finished terawikh, it was already 11:45pm since Isya' was close to 11pm. By the time we got to bed it was 12am and I'm not the shut your eyes it's time to sleep kinda person! Haha I let my mind and creativity wander for a bit and by the time I sleep, it's late as I will be awake by 2am for Layina's night feed!! I could "easily" wake up and prayed my night prayers but believe you me, it was tiring and draining!

My parents however, were always awake by 2am and continued their prayers, zikr etc till the morning.  Sometimes they don't even go back to sleep until after terawikh!!! Subhan'Allah such determination. I salute them because I am not able to do it just yet.You might argue that Mom don't need to get up for breastfeeding anymore, haha but still, she was the one who cooked and tidied after us during their whole duration with us! I didn't lift a finger because i was so tired and I'm so thankful for such understanding parents. Alhamdulillah.

As Ramadhan went on and time were rather making sense to me, I braved myself and got up for tahajud, hajat etc. I noticed what made me feel so drained about having to wake up for night prayers was because of the amount of prayers I have set myself to do. Like I said, I was going all out. The reason I found it so draining was because I have never done it before and suddenly I am putting my body in such an awkward position. I should have 'trained' myself before Ramadhan but I'm still thankful I managed to know and train myself for after Ramadhan routine. As I was struggling and battling myself with Worshipping Allah, I came across a Hadith which states "the best of deeds are those carried out regularly even if they are little deeds". This Hadith was a wake up call for me to not set my goal at a ridiculous pace but to start somewhere and eventually strive to do better. It's amazing how Allah taala would not want us to struggle doing deeds by even accepting the little ones! Masha'Allah!

So, with this last few days left, it is not too late to do some good deeds. If you're a breastfeeding Mommy like me, take blessing from having to wake up at night to feed your kids. If you can, go the extra feet to get up and just pray tahajud since you're already up. But if you can't,  don't beat yourself over it because to sacrifice your sleep just to fulfill your kids' need is a deed on its own. Whenever you are awaken from sleep because your baby needs to be tendered to, just put in your mind that this is an Amanah and a blessing from Allah taala for you to care for this little cute baby! That in itself is a reward beyond our imagination! Every drop of milk being fed to a hungry baby would expel our sins Masha'Allah. Do it for the sake of Allah and Insha'Allah you will understand the reward given to you.

Last but not least, do make du'a for my family and I. May Allah reward all of you in this life and the hereeafter and may He accept all your deeds during this Ramadhan and so forth. Amin yaRabbal alamin!!

Wassalam.

If only its Ramadhan through and through :(

Alhamdulillah shukur!!!! It's nuzul Quran tomorrow and I'm really glad that we have just 2 juzu' to khatam. Never have it come across my mind to khatam before the last 10 days. Usually til the very last day we are still struggling to finish up. Alhamdulillah my parents were around and we managed to finish 2 juzu' everyday. Before they left for Malaysia we had 5 juzu' to finish off and Alhamdulillah we are still on par! Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah !!!!

May this Ramadhan be a start of a changes new Iva, Ameen ya rabbalalamin! Also my prayers that you are all having a beneficial and peaceful Ramadhan. May Allah swt continue to guide us to the right path and help us with our deen! InshaAllah, we will continue to strive for his blessings! Ameen!

Ps: I miss Ramadhan already, truly really do! 

Reason why I disabled my Facebook account.

...............To be continued ;)

Love.

Ramadhan Mubarak !

Alhamdulillah shukur! It's the 4th Ramadhan today and we have done 6 juzu' of tadarus. I'm so glad that my kids aren't a nuisance when we are trying to glorify Allah swt. Khairaldin will try and imitate us pray or read the Quran and it's an amazing sight. Masha'Allah! Layina will be busy in the toy room with her toys. Alhamdulillah, we're so thankful to have such kids. Really glad to know that they understand the time we have to worship and glorify Allah and also the time when they can bother us with thier "stuff".

The best way to start is when they're still a baby. We always had Khairaldin next to us when we are praying and it's been instilled in him that Mommy and Abah will have to do this everyday at so and so time. Alhamdulillah. I feel so blessed to get the chance to worship my creator even when I have 2 kids!! However, I would really love to get up at night to perform a few extra ibadah. InshaAllah, praying that I will get the hang of Summer time real soon. Having to do terawikh at 11pm and sleep at 12am, is rather difficult for me. Layina still wakes up for night feed and sahur is at 3am, so my body clock is still rather haywire. Eepps!

So, how's your Ramdhan? Any tips to share for me to do more? Let's top up our deeds by sharing beneficial knowledge :)

Not so daily ey??

Well, when I said daily updates, I really meant my daily. Which means when I have the time to update haha. Kids, you know my commitment is to care for the family first. So, don't worry, I still keep track of the things you guys do in my mental input but I just don't have the time to blog about it. Anyway, since time is on my side for the next 5mins, I better update.

Layina, I'll start with you first this time only because the day after I setup this label, you impressed us as early as 8 o'clock in the morning. You see, normally you'd wake up just before Abg Khalid but on that day u decided to sleep in for a bit. Normally, as soon as Abg Khalid wakes up, he'd go straight to our room (yes, both of you sleep interest sane room since you were 7months old, Alhamdulillah) and he did just that few days back. About 10mins after Abg Khalid woke up, you too came in our room!! The scary and surprising thing is, you knew how to get off your bed without falling and instead of going down the stairs (like you are always tempted to do) you went straight to Mommy Abah's room!! It's like you knew we were in there even though we were still very quiet. Masha'Allah. You really had a guardian angel looking after you, girl. Subhan'Allah!! I was so amazed to see you on the floor waiting for me to pick you up onto my bed. And baby girl, you are only 1 year old when this happened. :))

Abg Khalid, you are a charmer. Enough said! We had guest around and you just charmed them with your stories. Everyone couldn't stop asking you questions because you'd answer them intelligently! For a 3 year old, I've never seen any boy of your age making conversation with older people and leaving them feeling entertained and contented. Subhan'Allah you really did a great job! I hope you would use your public speaking to attract people to the right path, amin!! Live up to your name Khair-Al-Deen; goodness to the religion, Insha'Allah.

Today is the starting of Ramadan and Mommy will keep praying that the both of you will grow up to be intelligent kids and to use your intelligence towards the righteous path, Amin yaRabbalamin! This is only just the beginning of your childhood, Insha'Allah many more amazing things to come.

As for my others readers, let me take this opportunity to wish you all a blessed Ramadan and may you receive the goodness of this month, amin! Let us all take a break from the worldly stuff and just enjoy this miracle month. That's me for now, I'm not making any promises, but Insha'Allah will try and drop by the page when I have time to do so. Do keep us in your du'a. Barakallahu feek!

"Khalid 3 years old" :)

**Oh no! Can't believe this post has been in my drafts for almost a month!! Khairaldin is exactly 3yrs 1mth today!**

Khalid Khairaldin turned THREE last Saturday! Alhamdulillah! We did a pre-birthday party for Layina and him in Malaysia because, other than moving back to Malaysia for good, we don't see any other time that we can celebrate his 'birthday' with his cousins. Being a June baby means it will always be school term on his birthday. So, no more time off after this seeing that he will start nursery in September, InshaAllah! How fast has that been??

THREE years?! I can't get over it, seriously. I mean even the first year birthday was a big deal and now to know that he's still growing healthily is just unreal. Don't mind me, I think I'll be writing this same thing every time it's his birthday. Haha Yes, I don't think I can ever grasp the fact that I am now a mother of two toddlers and later on even teenagers! SubhanAllah! Alhamdulillah!

So anyway, we didn't really do much on his 3rd birthday. He doesn't even know it's his birthday and I think he's still too young to understand what birthday is all about. We brought him to ASDA to let him choose his own cake but ended up he wanted a 'Yoda' cake because his Uncle Ha loves Yoda. So yeah, he had no idea what birthdays is all about. But hey, what is birthday all about anyway? Why do we feel so special on that certain day? For myself, I have grown out of birthday celebrations. Last year's birthday, I decided to send gifts to Mom and Dad instead because they have been there in my life since day 1. I don't feel anything special on 12 October other than feeling thankful for still having my parents by my side up till today. Alhamdulillah. As soon as it's 1st January, I will automatically declare my age as 1 year older than the last. Even though some would say I'm not even a full year yet. Erk, really it doesn't matter to me. It's just a number. The older I get the scarier it becomes because I know I have done so much and it makes me wonder what have I done to prepare for the hereafter?

As for Khairaldin, Layina (and future children InshaAllah) we are teaching them to not make a big deal out of birthdays. Yes, we will celebrate. Because it is a very good excuse to get people to gather and serve them some food. It's encouraged to have guests around every now and then to keep a good relation. So the 'party' isn't a big deal. What we normally tell our guest is that it's just a small gathering and because some of them know it's the kids' birthday, they would instantly say, "oh is it for Khairaldin and Layina's birthday?" We will say yes, but will insist on them to  come with no gifts at all, be it toys, clothes etc etc.

We've never bought Khairaldin a birthday present on his so called birthday. No, we are not such evil parents who do not get their child anything. Haha We just don't want him to always expect presents on his birthday. It will come to a point where he wouldn't even appreciate the gifts. Also for the guests, we know sometimes people do have financial difficulties. If we invite them as a birthday party they would think that we are expecting gifts. This will then make them feel bad not bringing anything. So we strictly tell our guests, "no present please". This not only save them some money but also save us from having to throw away the wrapping papers, boxes, etc. :)

Last week, at Khairaldin's school, I overheard mothers talking about birthday gifts. She was complaining how she had two of the same presents because there isn't that many toys for that certain age group. So yes, that's just a waste! As for clothes, not all kids grow according to the sizes referred by the store. Khairaldin for instance, is still wearing 18-24months clothing at 36months! So just imagine that. If people were to buy his aged clothes, how long have I got to just keep it in the wardrobe till he grows into it?? It'll take space and when the time comes, it might not even be in a good condition.

Alhamdulillah, so far this birthday presents arrangement seems to work. I couldn't thank Iskandar for coming up with such brilliant idea! Today, I was cleaning their toy room and the amount of toys they have got is just ridiculous. Not that they play with all of it or even any of it. They end up playing with our things. Like for instance Khairaldin has a toy microphone but both Layina and him will end up playing with our USB mic for the Wii game. So it's just a waste to get them a toy thing as we know it will not interest them much.

We are the type that will buy things when it is needed. Khairaldin might not be interested in any toys now hence it'll just waste time, money and space to get him a present just because it's his birthday. When he wants something, InshaAllah we will try and get it for him. Alhamdulillah he is not the kind that wants everything and anything. We brought him to toys'R'us thinking of buying him one of the big electronic cars, but he ended up didn't want it. Ok he did want the £300+ Ferrari ones, but when we say it's expensive he understands and don't bug us for it. Masha'Allah.

I pray that he will continue to be the guy that he is today! The boy that thinks for others (like wanting to buy Yoda cake instead of something he personally like), understands the value of money and not waste it for no reason, realises the true way of celebration/gathering according to the Islamic way and of course my constant du'a for him to become a great Muslim. Ameen!!
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New label ;)

Looking at my kids grow up is such a blessing on its own. Today, I have decided to start a new label called Khairaldin & Layina's daily randoms. Basically I'll write short updates about their daily wow factor because everyday they're wow-ing me with something. :)

Let's start with you, Khairaldin...
Today you went to playschool and wanted to play with flour, you were about to cry when you didn't get a turn but when I looked at you, you instantly know that you're not supposed to cry. Sometimes I underestimate your ability to understand. I find it amazing that at your age I do not need to pinch or beat you to make you understand. Boy, you are so clever and you amaze us everyday with your capabilities! Alhamdulillah.

Layina, you are different to your Abang in so many ways! It's true when they say every child is different. At your age, your Abang Khalid can do so many things. Like, imitate us when we sing 'Twinkle Little Star". Until today, you just don't care about those nursery rhymes. However, you're such a girly girl. Mommy didn't notice your capability in imitating was rather different from your brother. You my girl, would always tidy up your brother's mess. You will get the broom and start sweeping. Alhamdulillah. I guess you know what is more important in life. Hehe nursery rhymes isn't all that fun to you but keeping the house clean is so much fun. Masha'Allah.

Insha'Allah mommy will try and update everyday so that both of you can read on your amazing childhood. SubhanAllah!

Second sewing lesson!

Tommorow will be my second sewing lesson inshaAllah. I am so excited beyond words!! After this sewing lesson, I will be able to try my skills on so many different fabrics inshaAllah. Let's hope the lesson will be as beneficial as I dream of it to be. On another note, it will be the first I'm leaving my babies in other people's care for more than 6 hours. But Alhamdulillah those "other people" are my brother and his gf. Also a family friend. I am blessed to have my loved ones just a shout away. :) after so long not getting my "me time", I think I deserve this time and also it's for a good cause InshaAllah. Anyway, will update on tomorrow's seeing project. Stay tuned.... If you're still reading that is. :D

Artsy fartsy!

So, one day I decided on a 'life changing experience and I decided to take up sewing lessons. SubhanAllah! If only I knew how exciting and therapeutic sewing can be, I'd have done it agessss ago! It's simply amazing how engrossed I can be.

This is what I did today..... A shopper bag! Iskandar and I will be doing some material shopping tomorrow Insha'Allah,  and I am ecstatic!  Many more 'projects' to come Insha'Allah.  Let's first start with Bismillah!!!! :))

Made and designed by yours truly. Alhamdulillah! 

Sending lots of positive vibes your way!

Sneak peek- Khalid's lego birthday cake & Layina's cake pops

Celebrated Khalid and Layina's birthday today because he wanted to wait for Daddytok and Nana to be here. Alhamdulillah it all went well. Managed to catch up with old friends, had some real good fatty food..If I may say so myself. :)

Anyway, we're super tired! InshaAllah will blog more soon. Enjoy the home made cakes...well, at least just the pictures :)

ONE year later......

SubhanAllah! Our babycake turns the big ONE today!! Alhamdulillah shukur for having the chance to be with her 24-7, to breastfeed her until today and to basically just be there with her all the time. As years go by, there's only one thing I don't want to feel which is; regret. Family values doesn't seem to have its value anymore these days. You hear about people breaking relationship with their blood-related family like it's not a sin anymore. I don't want to witness all of this when my children are bigger, AMIN! I want them to know how much they love each other and how much they truly do care about each other from the day their sibling was born until today. However, there's only so much I can instill in my children's mind and that is why I am really thankful that I am here with them during their infant and toddler years. The years where they learn so many things and to know that they are looking and scrutinizing my every move make me wanna improve myself even more.

So Aizah Layina, remember that you are one of the lucky children to have your Mother and Brother with you during your first year. Abah didn't get the chance to be here as much as he'd love to but believe me, it is all for our family's own good. When he gets back from work, he will always pick you up and play with you, that is your Abah's love for you and your brother. Alhamduillah! Babycakes, remember that you will always be our baby no matter what. We love you so much and really grateful that Allah gave us the chance to love and care for you. Alhamdulillah shukur. Last but definitely not least, Mommy and Abah will constantly pray for your well being in this dunya and akhirah. We will always want the best for you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I always will! There will come a time when you will disagree with me and we might end up fighting but dear, just remember I am your Mother and what I have gone through to bring you up until today. Again, I love you Sayang and I always do. :')

Picmix!

Ever since my brother- Ilyas intorduced me to this Picmix software, I've been hooked!! It is ala insta.gram and it's just amazing! Ok, I have to say Blackberry's camera ain't all that but with this picmix, the pictures are of better quality. So, kudos to my bro for introducing it!

However, I don't think my dad would be keen of me ditching my Lumix coz it cost a lot. I'm not planning to though! haha I have been snapping a few pics from my Lumix too and it's just a matter of time I transfer it onto the PC and share it on here. Insha'Allah pretty soon!

Last  Saturday was Khalid Khairaldin's THIRD birthday! Because most of his pics were in Lumix, I am just finidng time to sit down and update properly. I have written a draft blog on my trusted Blackberry but because I hate to blog without pictures, lets just say, wait for a while yeah? Insha'Allah the time will definitely come. :) As for now, let's just enjoy Layina's picture at the park. Please don't cringe at her pic on the sand, I know some mothers wouldn't allow their child to do such a thing but I'm just too laid back to care about germs. heheh ;)

Oh, speaking of which, when in Malaysia, we went to A&W PJ for dinner and saw this grandpa carrying a bottle of dettol spray and cloth with him everywhere he goes. Since there were those kids arcade kinda games outside there, his granddaugther wanted to play with it. Everytime before the granddaughter touches anything, he'd spray the dettol and clean it of first!! Woah! That's one hard working grandpa there! Honestly, I am not that hard working and would just let my children play where they want to as long as there isn't any dog/cat poo. In the UK, that is something rare to find at parks because most of the owners would be walking their dog with plastic bags to collect & throw the poos away. So yeah. That's why I became too laid back. :D

Until my next post Insha'Allah!

Nabi Isa ibn Maryam

Have you ever wondered why every time we come across Prophet Isa/Jesus' name in the Quran it will be with his 'bin/son of', which is 'bin' his Mother Maryam/Mary. When ever we come across Prophet Adam/Musa or any other prophets it will just be their name on its own.

Well, according to our local imam, here's why... Allah knew that the Christians will worship Jesus and they believe Jesus is the "son of God" therefore, there is a need to constantly correct this thinking by mentioning Jesus as Mary's son and NOT God's son. SubhanAllah! It's just amazing how accurate is the Quran!!

This statement was mentioned during our Wednesday Halaqah. Going for this sort of talks really do help me with my belief. Sometimes we just need these reminders to make our belief stronger! InshaAllah will try and share more often. May all of you benefit something from this blog rather than 'what am I up to' updates. :) Till we meet again.

Oh, while you're still here. Do you know what is 100000 divided with infinity? Hmmmmmm. Do try it out ;) Will reveal in a weeks time InshaAllah.
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Kitchen-less. Oh no no no!

You know what was the one thing that I missed so much when I was away in Malaysia??

Believe you me, it was my KITCHEN!!!!!! Oh my! I never knew I would ever miss cooking in my own kitchen but, I did. Three months away from my kitchen was what I would say, torturous. Yes, it really was. Not having that quick-get-something-ready-coz-Khairaldin's-starving stress was unbearable. In Malaysia, I had to literally stuff food into Khairaldin's mouth because he refused to eat. He wouldn't willingly open his mouth to eat whatever's been prepared for him. He will scream and shout and just refused to eat. Because of not wanting him to end up in the hospital, I did what I had to do, feed him regardless of anything! 


He was boney when he got back from Malaysia! Even Iskandar was scared to hold him because he was toooooo skinny! His leg was literally just bones and meat no fats what so ever. And for a 3 year old, that wasn't a pretty sight. I thought by the time we arrived the UK, I wanted to bring him straight to the doctors to get him checked.

Someway somehow, his behaviour changed straight away! The next day after we arrived, he was already asking for break AND cereals! He also wanted his Milo almost everyday now. Alhamdulillah shukur!! His appetite is increasing by the day. He asks for his normal rice, chicken and veges during lunch time. Dinner time is just a breeze. SubhanAllah. We have come to realise that they're just comfortable with everything in the UK, Alhamdulillah. Layina also had some issues in Malaysia, InshaAllah when I have the time I will update more on that. :)

Ever since we got back, I've only left the kitchen to breathe on the weekends.... And that was after being forced by Iskandar! Hehe It is so good to get the chance to cook for my loved ones. I never knew how to cook before I got married. Heck, even after I got married Iskandar was the one cooking for a few good years. I started to get the hang on cooking when I was pregnant with Khairaldin. I was made redundant and I just kept myself busy with cooking... Now also with baking! I love being in the kitchen and it's even better to know that my children prefers my cooking on top of everyone else!!!! The next time we go back to Malaysia, I'll make sure it will only be for a month, maximum. InshaAllah. Any more than that will only be a fight with me and my inner strength. :D Yeah, drama I know. But really, I miss my kitchen so very much and couldn't get enough of it. Alhamdulillah shukur!!!

Thank you so much Allah for giving me the chance to serve my family! Thank you for taking my job away from me and to give me a better one altogether. I am so grateful that I get to be there for my family. I am so thankful that I am the person they look for when their belly needs refuel, when they need a nap or even when they wanna play. I will always try to be there for my family during their happy and sad time, Amin!!!! May Allah give me the strength to endure what he has planned for me. Amin yaRabbal Alamin.

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Our little Muslimah!

SubhanAllah! Alhamdulillah!!

Our little Muslimah is just 2 weeks shy to 1 year old. SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah! She is growing up so fast it's just bittersweet for us. She started walking when she was 9 months old and now she's already running and following each and every thing that we are doing. I am glad that 'solat' is one of the things that she's immitating us other than being on the iPod/BBM. hahaha Well, we do not some balance in life, yes? 

We pray everyday that our children will grow up to become the leader of the Ummah. Amin! 

 (Yeah, I do 'prayers' on my blog because I believe the more 'Amin' I get the more my du'a will come true. So, don't judge :P)

Oh yeah, so far she can last in a hijaab for at least 4 hours straight. Masha'Allah! And to think I thought the hijaab was rather 'tedious' for her but she seems to like it. I don't wear it on her everyday, just during cold summer days. Rather than wearing her a hat or what nots, it's better to put a hijaab on her right? After all, she does look adorable in it. SubhanAllah. We are slowly practising her in hijaab because she will be wearing it to school when she is three years old. That is just 2 years away!!! I'm sure it will flyby. :') I'm trying really hard to bring up my son and daugther to become a great Muslim. It may be "easy" now, but Wallahualam, I'm not sure what the years to come have to offer me. So, while they still have the 'clean sheet' I guess it's best for me to paint them with beautiful colours which is; ISLAM! Love you both lots Khairaldin and Layina.

12 hours plane journey with 1 infant and 1 toddler!!

Phewwwww!

 

That was a mouthful and tiring subject on its own yeah? Yes! That's exactly how I embarked my journey back from Malaysia exactly 3 weeks ago. As most of you might already know, the 4 of us went back to Malaysia in late March. The kids and I stayed on till May for my brother's wedding. Unfortunately, Iskandar couldn't stay on because he was on work probation and could only get 3 weeks time off. A lot happened when he went back to the UK and left the kids with me, but that will be a different blog update altogether :)

So, everyone asked me the same question every time they hear I was going back with both kids all by myself, "how will you manage with 2 kids on the plane??", "what if 1 of them starts to throw tantrum suddenly? Will u cope??". Everyone had their concern and was doubtful about my journey back home to the UK. To be honest, I couldn't give any rational answers when I was bombarded with these questions. All I could answer was, "InshaAllah, with Allah's will, I will be able to handle them on my own."

When we booked our tickets, the plan wasn't for me to bring both kids on my own. The initial plan was for Khairaldin to travel with my brother via Emirates and for me to travel with Layina via MAS on the same day. Somehow, the plan changed because Emirates didn't have any spare seat for Khairaldin. Since I've already booked for Layina and my flight via MAS, I had no other choice but to book for Khairaldin's flight with us. In all honesty, I wasn't prepared for this ordeal at all. But with so much faith in Allah, I took this opportunity as a Mother. Everyone who knew about my travel arrangements started to label me as a "SUPER MOM". All I have to say is, I'm no where near that title.

So, here's how our travelling went. I have to say, Alhamdulillah shukur for such a superb and easy travelling provided by MAS. Staffs were helpful and everything was just bearable from the check-in counter onwards. We + my parents arrived the airport at 8am and dropped our luggage at the check in counter. We requested for a travel assistance since I had 2 kids with me. At first they didn't have anyone to assist us but they had that initiative to get someone nonetheless. I had to wait for someone to assist us at 9am. So, we just continued waiting at the departure lounge. By 9, one of the staff came to help us out. Well, the reason I needed help was only to have someone to pull my hand luggage. Khairaldin was in the pushchair and Layina was in the baby carrier. It wasn't a problem in that sense.

Good thing about having assistance is that they assist you right into the aircraft and everything is priority; priority lane for passport checks, priority for boarding pass checks and of course the first one to get onto the plane! It was amazing! No hassle at all Masha'Allah. I was so glad. I would have given the young boy some tips, but by the time I settled down in my seat he has already pass his duties to the steward(ess). Didn't get a chance to say proper thank you. Guess he was scared if the plane took off hehehe. He'll be in my du'a, inshaAllah.

Oh yeah, I didn't request for a bassinet seat because when travelling with Khairaldin before, he didn't like sleeping in the bassinet. So I thought, it's ok, give others the opportunity. But I really wanted at least the whole row to myself. Before we took off, I asked the steward if there was any vacant rows. Unfortunately there wasn't any. Flight wasn't that full, there were spare seats but not rows. However, a guy sitting at the bassinet seatings offered to give his seat to us. I accepted his offer and swapped seats with him. It's very nice of him! After swapping seats we waited patiently to take off. Just before take off Layina cried for milk. I thought, that's good at least she'll get her nap straight away. Seeing that our flight was at 10:05am, it's the time she normally have her naps. So I breastfed her and by the time we took off she was already sound asleep. The stewardess then assembled the bassinet for her and I put her in it straight away. Little did I know, Layina is so different from her brother! She loved the bassinet and what I thought was going to be a short nap actually lasted for 4-5 hours straight!!! How good was that?

Khairaldin on the other hand, wasn't as easy as Layina. He suddenly had tummy ache and was restless. After putting Layina in the bassinet, I had a steward to look after her for awhile whilst I brought Khairaldin to the toilet. He had diarrhoea! Sigh. I did put diapers on him before we left for the airport, but being toilet trained, he couldn't 'do it' in the diapers. But Alhamdulillah, we only went for 2 toilet trips in 15minutes gap. After those 2 trips, he felt much better and fell asleep straight away! I was so glad. Since both of them were sleeping, I didn't waste anymore time and straight away 'joined' them to sleep. Alhamdulillah I managed to sleep for 2hrs straight. It was good!

By the time they woke up, we were already half way through our journey. We went for a few rounds around the aircraft, read a few books, played a few games and just made a mess on the floor! Thankfully Layina was already walking, saved me from having to carry here everywhere in the aircraft. We managed to catch some short naps. Layina wasn't awake that much. It was only for awhile that she was awake. Khairaldin was lucky as he got to just spend time with me :) Two hours before landing was a bit tough. Khairaldin kept asking what time we were gonna arrive and kept bugging about wanting to eat bread with chocolate spread from Nana's house! So I had to reason out with him until he really gets the idea that we are far away and there is no way he's getting his bread and choc spread in the plane. Hehehe

All in all, it was an interesting experience as it wasn't as how I expected it to be at all! I was prepared for the worse and Alhamdulillah, that was nowhere near my expectations. I am sure this breeze journey was from the numerous thoughts and du'as people sent to me! Alhamdulillah shukur! I believe that if we have a plan, we should tell your loved one about it so that they constantly du'a and remember you. JazakAllahu Khair, everbody!

 

Any tips or tricks? No really. I guess it was a rather "easy" journey on my side because I am with my children almost 24-7 therefore I know when they are restless or about to throw tantrums. If I was a working Mom, I don't think I would be able to take up this adventure. Basically, you really need to know your child when you're about to travel. Get them as comfortable as possible, InshaAllah everything will be great! :)) Personally to me, SUPER MOM are those working Mom's who would be brave enough to take such adventure seeing that they're rarely with their child during day time. But either way, mother instincts are the best!! :))

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Allah is beautiful, Abah.

Yesterday,  Khairaldin randomly chat with Iskandar about Allah. And during their conversation he said, "Allah is beautiful Abah!" "Really, she's beautiful". SubhanAllah, when I heard that my heart was smiling so hard! Ya Allah, he remembers you!! It's amazing to hear those words from him.

He will be 3 next weekend Insha'Allah. As he slowly grow out of his innocence we can only du'a that Allah will continue to protect him and guide him through and through. Let's pray that this memory will remain in him that Allah is beautiful and there shouldn't be any doubt in him that this is the God he/we should be worshipping, Amin!! May he grow up to be a great Muslim!! Amin yarabbal alamin.

SAHM in Malaysia

Sigh. As much as I enjoy having maids around, I get offended when people ask me to ask the maid to change my child's diaper or to feed my child lunch. It's as if ayong I don't know how to do my 'job'. I don't tell you how to do your job as an accountant or anything now do I? So yes, being a Mother is a job to me! I feel the need to clean and feed my child with my own hand. Looking aftery children is a reward to me. Please don't take away the only luxury that I have. It's fun having an extra hand but there are things that I would prefer to do on my own. Maybe preparing the kids' clothes whilst I bathe them is helpful enough. Anyway, that's me ranting. I love my job so please let me be. Even if you see me with eyebags, just kmow I'm enjoying myself. I will ask for help if/when I need it. Alhamdulillah, I am coping. :)