Of being a Muslimah in Malaysia and the UK

A few weeks ago, I received a Facebook msg from one of my readers (Sister Naz). In her PM, she asked "how did u overcome living in a non muslim country from a muslim country? i would like to know more." Having read her PM only then I realised I have never spoken about my migration to the UK. So, sister Naz, if you don't mind, I'm sharing this response in my blog.

Normally, when I come across new people in the UK they will always ask me "how long have you been in the UK?" And of course, my answer changes every day, so for today the answer will be "8 years, 9 months and .... days" Yup, I can get it that precise because the date I first entered the UK is a memorable date and whenever I have to fill in documents in the UK, they will ask me that question. Want it or not, I have to know the exact period I've been here! Some might feel that 8 years is such a long time but to me, I've still not had enough of the UK. I have to say that my day in and out routine in the UK is monotonous and somewhat boring to some. It's always, wake up, get Khairaldin ready, bla bla bla bla (u don't really wanna know) and so on, it's the same everyday! But I never get bored of it. I feel the day seems quicker if I have the same routine because I can do it like a pro. :D When I have new things to accomplish, I feel like it's a drag coz I don't know when it's going to end. I'm sure some of you might have an opposite view altogether.

UK, as compared to Malaysia is a peaceful and quiet place to live in. They don't have those 24 hours 7 days a week shops to waste your precious time at. I feel rather tired everytime I go back to Malaysia because life begins after 11pm, unlike in the UK, I'm in bed by 11. So I have better things to do in the morning and not feel lethargic and lazy instead. I have always been an introvert person that's why I can live in the UK.

As for the question about living in a non-muslim country, truthfully, I've never taken that question into consideration... maybe because I have never came across it before. Personally to me, I don't think Malaysia as an Islamic country so there's no difference in that aspect. No doubt I learnt more about Islam in Malaysia but education in Malaysia is all about theory rather than practice. We learn and learn things but hardly ever put them into practise. We were asked to memorise this and that du'as which we will do it for the exams and once it's done, it's being forgotten.

In the UK however, I mix around with a lot of non-muslims. My passion for Islam grew even more when I came to the UK. Reason is because people are rather intrigued with the things we Muslims do hence they ask loads of questions. Sometimes I just don't have the answers in hand to give them. When I started college, my mates bombarded me with questions about hijab, Halal food, muslim women etc etc. Sometimes I just could not answer them. This then made me want to learn more about why I do the things I do. Of course most of the time I answer "because my religion tells me to/because it's in our Holy book (Al-Quran)" but this isn't the answer they want to hear. Heck, even I find that answer rather inappropriate and as if I'm bashing my religion! So I had to re-learn about Islam to make myself satisfied. Thankfully my parents packed me some easy-to-understand books on Islam, prayers and so forth. I started reading slowly and Alhamdulillah, now I managed to give them answers that made them satisfied and not leave them blank.

Even though I am able to answer their questions, I did not stop learning about Islam. When I got married, my life changed even more. Having a husband makes u think about the religion even more. Some famous wedding vows almost always ends with "till death do us apart!" but I always think, how can that be? We are married for years and what will happen to us after we die?? Does our relationship ends there and then? No, in Islam, husband and wife will carry on living together even in the 'after life'. So I became more passionate about Islam and wanting to know how I can maintain this love and relationship. I suppose you can now guess why I became more "Islamic" ever since I gave birth to Khairaldin? My heart not only grew for the people I love but mostly for my beautiful religion- Islam! I don't want my love and hardwork ends in this world but I would rather bring it over to the hereafter. That is why I'm working extra hard to learn about Islam so that I will live happily in the hereafter, Insha'Allah.

The knowledge about Islam doesn't end because of where you live or planning to live. In fact, if you plan to migrate with the intention of getting closer to Allah swt, Insha'Allah, your heart will tend to open and accept HIM. It is good to go from one place to the other to broaden our knowledge. The only thing is to always make sure that our intention is to do it for Allah swt. Here's a hadith that I came across: `Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The reward of deeds depends upon intentions, and every person will get his reward according to what he has intended. So, [for] whoever emigrated for Allah and His Messenger, his emigration was for Allah and His Messenger. And [as for] whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he had emigrated for" (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

No matter where you are, Insha'Allah, HE will always be there to guide you to the right path. Remember to seek HIS guidance when in doubt as HE loves those who seeks HIM! Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with thee unless thou follow their form of religion. Say: "The Guidance of Allah,-that is the (only) Guidance." Wert thou to follow their desires after the knowledge which hath reached thee, then wouldst thou find neither Protector nor helper against Allah (Surah Al-baqarah verse 120). So, don't be afraid to move to a non muslim country, make sure your intention is to be closer to Allah swt always. Who knows with you being the minority could lead to the place being a better one. Insha'Allah!
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AllahuAkbar!!

Whenever I watch this video it'll bring tears to my eyes. Seeing how a 1 year old toddler prostrate whenever he hears the word 'Allahuakbar' is just surreal. No doubt Khairaldin's first step means a lot to us, but this, was beyond our imagination! We never thought that he would learn this fast but Alhamdulillah, he knows why he's sent to this world.

Khairaldin, Mommy and Abah will always make do'a for you that you'll be guided to the right path. Please don't make the dunya your priority as it will only make you miserable. Insha'Allah, we will try and be there to teach you as much as we can. If we are not here when you grow up, the only thing we ask from you is to make du'a for us so that we'll meet each other again. AMIN!!

As for my Mommy, Daddy, Abah and Mama, we will always make du'a for you! You have always been in our prayers. We am really sorry if we have ever disobeyed you but we know now that nothing matters to you other than our du'a and to be a good Ummah. And we promise, Insha'Allah, we will try our best to always worship the Almighty Allah!

Final day of Ramadhan 1431 :'(

Alhamdulillah! We've still got one day of Ramadhan left to continue worshipping our creator without any distraction from the devils! This Ramadhan has been a different one compared to my previous years. I used to countdown the days to Syawal and getting excited about Syawal but this year, I am really sad to see it leave us behind.

Ramadhan, the month of the Quran first being revealed and the ending of its revelation to our Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam. It's such a peaceful and sacred month to every one of us Muslims. I used to fast for the sake of fasting and not knowing the background story. However, since I know what Ramadhan is all about it just brings tears to my eyes. I always think 'Ya Allah! After all that the Prophet's gone through for us, how could we take this month so lightly?!" It's a shame to know people who would fast for hoursssss but still do not worship Allah. It saddens me EVERY single time! But hey, if Allah wants to open their heart, in an instant he would do it. So, I can only pray every day and night that Allah will open those people's heart to the right path. Insha'Allah!!!

I have to say, restraining myself from eating and drinking was the easiest part of Ramadhan. I also managed to khatam the Quran and do as much Solat Sunat, Alhamdulillah! However, I can't deny that I am still working towards being a better person by not talking about others behind their back. That's the hardest part of all!! Ya Allah, please help me through this stage as I really do not want to be backbiting anyone, ever again!! Amin!

Anyway, as Ramadhan is slowly creeping away and the devils are slowly creeping out, let me just take this moment to ask for forgiveness from every single one of you who are reading. I am sorry for any wrong things I have said and done. I am a normal human being with mistakes. If there are any wrongdoings of mine that you would like to point out, please do so as I would love to work on becoming a better person. Insha'Allah! Ya Allah, I am really begging for your forgiveness!!!!! Amin Yarabbal Alamin.

I hope I will be around next Ramadhan to worship HIM and keep on doing good deeds in this life. If not, I pray that I will continue doing what I have been doing and be placed amongst the righteous people. AMIN!
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Camel hump or beehive Hijab? You choose.

Recently there has been an issue about wearing those "volumised" type of hijabs. I heard about this issue in Malaysia and I guess in the UK we are just about to catch up with the 'trend'. Before I start, let me just say that I have no intention on interpreting the Hadiths, as I am in no place to do so. However, I am just intrigued as to how people think about the said topic.

Ok, so let's talk about the "volumised hijab". People are getting conscious about this style because there is a Hadith that states: Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said. "I will not be a witness for two types of people who are destined for the Fire: people with whips, like the tails of cows, who beat the people (ie, tyrannical rulers who are the enmies of their own people), and women who, although clothed, are yet naked, seducing and being seduced, their hair styled like the tilted humps of camels. These will not enter the Garden nor will its fragrance even reach them, although its fragrance reaches a very great distance. (Reported by Muslim). There have been a few questions being raised regarding this hadith.

The famous question is, how big of the hump is considered too big/unacceptable??!

I have to say that internet has been the best source for getting information. We can get merely anything and everything from the internet. However, when it comes to Islamic topic that we are unsure of it's always BEST to seek the knowledge from a reputable scholar, if possible face-to-face or directly as we do not know who is behind those Usernames. Facebook can also be beneficial sometimes, but most of the time, it is rather evil. We could get infos that we need to know from some of the groups we've joined BUT are they infos we are sure to be valid or are they infos we have been WANTING to hear regardless of it being right or wrong? The info we get might not be true but since that is what we want to hear, we will take it all in and claim it to be very sufficient and precise explanation.

So back to the hijab question, personally to me, people should not raise question about the size of the hump. It states in the hadith as "humps of camel" but why make ourselves confused as to the size of the hump? Why not go further down the line and find out how wrong it is to adorn such style? The real question is, WHY risk it???! Why would one go to an extent of beautifying themselves but at the same time is not sure of what is the proper Islamic/Halal way to do it?

When it comes to Hadiths, we cannot just pick and choose what suits us. We have to read other Hadiths to be sure of what is being said. There are Hadiths about doubtfulness. Why not seek those type of Hadith while we are at it. For instance, in this discussed topic, the people who were discussing the topic have not consulted any scholars opinion as to the size of it hence, they are still in doubt about the size of the hump. Here are a few Hadiths about being in doubt:

On the authority of Al-Hasan bin Ali, the grandson of the messenger of Allah, who said : I memorized from the messenger of Allah his saying :"Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : The messenger of Allah said :"Part of someone's being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him."At-Tirmidhi

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : the messenger of Allah said :"Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah has commanded the faithful to do that which he commanded the messengers, and the Almighty has said: "O ye messengers ! Eat of the good things and do right". And Allah the Almighty has said : "O ye who believe! Eat of the good things where with We have provided you" Then he mentioned [the case of] a man who, having journeyed far, is dishevelled and dusty and who spreads out his hands to the sky [saying] : "O Lord! O Lord!" - while his food is unlawful, his drink unlawful, his clothing unlawful, and he is nourished unlawfully, so how can he be answered !" related by Muslim.

This topic was raised in one of the "fashion" hijab Facebook group. What annoyed me most is not that this topic was being discussed, but instead, people are promoting a video to make this "hump" not so camel-like, apparently small enough to be acceptable. How sure are they that this is the "perfect size"? I don't get annoyed easily but when people use Islam as a shield to make everything possible, then I get annoyed and furious. The thing that was really annoying is not about the question of the "hump" itself, I don't mind the question. It's good to know that people are asking questions before commiting to do something. I don't mind if it was their natural hair that created this "acceptable hump" either but..... The worse part of it was that, there are people who is making Youtube videos teaching people to use fake flower clips to make this volumised look!!! What is the necessity to this if I may ask?

Sometimes there are a few people who would come out with such discussions because they want to know what the fatwaa says about so and so. But to me, in the end of the day, it is your TAQWA (self-restraint) that should be taken into consirderation. If you feel the doubt and don't feel confident, then ask yourself.....

Why do you NEED to commit into such a thing?
How do u FEEL when you do it?
How do you feel when you know forbidden things have been stated in the Quran and Hadith and yet you're still doing it?
Also, since many of us are not sure how big this hump is supposed to be, why not just do a normal Hijab style?
Why do things that are of a grey area and jeopradise ourselves in the Hereafter?

Sorry for the bit of rant but I think Fashion and Islam just do not go along together. No doubt we are meant to look great and presentable but to an extent of risking ones good deeds? There was an interpretation about the hadith that I find rather clear and would like to share it here. Ru’oosahunna ka asnimat il-bukht (translated here as “with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels”), this may mean that they make their heads look bigger with veils and turbans, which are wrapped around the head, so that they look like the humps of camels. This is the well-known interpretation. Al-Maaziri said: it may be that what is meant is that they will not lower their gaze in the presence of men, rather they will look directly at them. Allah knows best. Iskandar pointed out to me that with those big huge hijab/hair, it would be difficult to carry the weight forward therefore the head would be tilted too far back (see picture above) and it's difficult and doesn't feel natural to tilt the head downwards to lower the gaze. So, this brings us to an ayah "Allah does not love any proud boaster". (57:23) Also a hadith agreed upon by Bukhari and Muslim, The Prophet (peace be on him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride."

If you have extra time, do read up Iskandar's blog about dressing moderately. Insha'Allah it will be beneficial info.

May we guide each other to the righteous path, Insha'Allah. Choose wisely not randomly, as ALLAH knows what's best for us.

You're not very hijabi, are you? OUCH!!!

I have been joining a few Facebook groups to do with "fashion hijabs" lately. Some of the groups are truly inspiring as to how their styles are Islamic and 'Halal'. Yes, you'd presume when it's Islamic it has to be Halal too, right? However, nowadays people claim so many things to be 'Halal' and yet when we do thorough research, it's not as Halal as it is claimed to be. I'm not talking about food but more to "fashion" and clothing. The word Halal has been thrown around aimlessly in the beauty world just to attract Muslim women. There is also 'Halal' make-ups being introduced. Question is, how is there such a thing as Halal make ups? Could they only mean the ingredients? As far as my knowledge goes, I am sure it is not permissible for Muslim women to wear make ups in public. So when the word 'halal' is being used, I would instantly think "OH! It's Halal to wear make ups!" That is where the confusion begins which will accumulate our sins.

I haven't been a true hijabi myself. No doubt I used to wear skinny jeans, almost tight fitting tops and etc etc. Until one point when I was in town an 'Alim' brother stopped me and said "Salaam Sister, could I just give you some advice?" That instant, I knew what it was going to be about but hesitantly I said "yes, go on then." The Alim brother started telling me hijab is not only about covering your hair, it's about dressing modestly etc etc. You know the typical statements you hear even after years of being a hijabi! I just nodded and thanked him for the advice. I walked away feeling so furious and thought, "how dare he stopped me and started preaching all those stuff?! Isn't there an ayah in the Quran that he should be lowering his gaze or something like that??!" And yes, there is. "(O Prophet), Enjoin believing men to cast down their looks and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is well aware of all what they do." Surah al-Nur verse 30.

I got home and told Iskandar about it, of course he felt uncomfortable but not towards what the Alim has advised but instead for letting me go out in that attire. Time and again Iskandar has told me to dress loosely but I take it very lightly. Iskandar doesn't wanna repeat himself over and over again since if I don't commit to it, I'm just committing sins. So, in a way he was glad someone else stopped me and told me off, because sometimes it just take another to make me realise. Alhamdulillah, that person has made me realise how wrong I have been dressing all along. About the ayah I mentioned above, well, apparently we ladies we just want to read and know what we want to know! True enough. If we read further that ayah, there's another advice for us ladies.. “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” Surah Al-Nur verse 31

After reading that, I questioned myself "should I be angry with that person for advising me?" Indeed he has to lower his gaze but have I done my part and dressed modestly? He might have lowered his gaze but the way I was dressing was rather appealing and made him want to say or do things to me. So, it is partly my fault for inviting him to look at me. Ever since then, I have tried my very best to wear loose skirts and if I do wear jeans, to make sure my top covers most of my revealing parts. It was hard at first, but Alhamdulillah. I have managed to do it.

I will write another entry about our common practice/mistakes where we pick and choose our "knowledge" just to suit our lifestyle, Insha'Allah.

Keropok Lekor; Made in Leicester

The Husband's been having some very 'extravagant' cravings lately. As you all might already know, I don't really cook. I only cook when I feel like it and it's mostly easy peasy lemon squeezy dishes. But somehow, on Ramadhan I love to cook and try new things. I think it's because I have all day to do it, so I don't have to rush. Also, I believe that people will be famished from fasting so, no matter how bad my cooking is they will still think it's the best food ever! :D

Right, so what are his cravings..... so far?
1) Kuih Cara
2) Cucur Ikan Bilis
3) KEROPOK LEKOR!!!! (Apparently it's mackerel crackers on google)
I didn't mind the first 2 cravings as it was a bit straight forward.Even though, I had an accident whilst frying cucur ikan bilis; that's a different story altogether.

Let's talk about his craving for keropok lekor. One day when my Mommy was cooking dinner, he said "it smells like keropok lekor downstairs". Suddenly he felt like having keropok lekor :| So, he started google-ing for keropok lekor recipes. Thankfully we found one that was easy to make!! Without further delay, well, actually the next day we went out to buy the ingredients and started making keropok lekor! Never in my life have I ever imagined myself making keropok lekor from scratch. But wow, yesterday marked history on Iva's cooking book. Hehehe

Below are the pics of my accomplishment. I don't normally take pics of the things I cook but this time I just had to take pics! For a first timer, I think I did quite good. SubhanAllah! Personally, my idea of successful cooking is when the food appears good in pictures! Let the picture do justice, but seriously, how good is that?! As for the taste, well, everyone was fasting so obviously it's goooooooodddd! Also, we didn't have any other choices so they had to settle with my cooking. Hehehe

Alhamdulillah, I'm so thankful for being blessed with such luxury in life.

Again, if any of you want any of the recipe, don't hesitate to message me yeah.

Have a blessed Ramadhan.

Tommee tippee

Alhamdulillah, finally found the perfect bottle for him!!! Although, it's only Cadbury Chocolate drink for him allowed in that bottle. No such thing as fresh milk. Begh. Will try again some other time. As for now, I'm happy he's drinking other drinks than just "Nenenenen"!
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The hidden meaning of cake cutting during wedding receptions

Here I am again, talking about wedding customs :) I forgot to add this section in my previous entries. Anyway, as we all know, cake cutting is normally an event on it's own. Bride and grooms would buy a different outfit just for the cake cutting event which is a mere 5 minutes event! So, what is the big hoohaa about cake cutting? Why do we Muslims follow this foreign tradition just because the Westerns are doing it? Let us decipher the true meaning of cake cutting from the Westerns point of view.

(100% Copied from the Wedding Customs & Non Islamic Traditions book)

1) The idea that it is the first joint action on the part of the newly weds.
2) Sharing richness with friends and family. The wedding cake is traditionally shared amongst guests so that blessing and happiness can be shared 10.
3) Cutting the cake, wrote one correspondent, was the couple 'takig the plunge' into their new life. It suggested that the cutting severed the couples links with the past and prepared them for their future together.
4) A psychologist who researched the social behaviour and significance of cake cutting suggested that the cutting of the cake meant the bride losing her virginity; the way the groom puts his hand on the bride's, so it's not just her, it's him too.

It is the cutting however which is given the most striking new significance if the cake is identified with the bride. Plunging the knife into the centre of the cake breaks through the 'virginal white' outer shell. It is something the couple do together.

Some might not take this symbolic interpretation seriously. However, if there are amongst the guests that take it seriously, it could only be an embarrassment of doing such a thing publicly. As a Muslim, we should give this a thought for concern. Insha'Allah.

When I cook, I cook real good! ( I WISH!!!!!)

Looksie what I cooked today!!!!

Kuih cara berlauk and kuih cara manis. Thank you Allah for giving me the chance to cook all the yummy food!

I was just browsing the net whilst still fasting and saw these cutie pies. So, showed it to Mr Hubby and he was drooling over it. What more could a wife do to make a hubby happy? Find a way to satisfy his cravings! LOL!

Thankfully my sis in law's got the container for it. So that's how I managed to do these delicacy. :) if you want the recipe, don't be shy to msg me and ask for it. (I wanted to do a 'picture recipe' on it but it was my first try so I needed a bit more concentration. But it's super easy to make it.)

Anyway, I've 3 hours to fast. So I better shoot off and do something more beneficial.
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Breastfeeding Dad!

Whenever a group of ladies sit down and talk about breastfeeding, the men will feel as if it's an obscene topic and start to excuse themselves. Most of them feel that 'breastfeeding' topic should only be discussed strictly amongst ladies. PERIOD. In reality, the key to successful breastfeeding begins with the Husband. Truthfully, without the husband's support it could end up in failure.

So, how could you be a breastfeeding Dad instead of formula-feed Dad?

• As soon as you've got confirmation on your wife's pregnancy, discuss with her about breastfeeding. Ask her whether she wants to breastfeed and if so, how long does she want to do it for? After getting the consent from your partner, pray to Allah to make it an easy journey for your wife and you during the pregnancy, labour and also breastfeeding stage. Let Allah know of your intention wanting your wife to breastfeed your child, tell HIM how many days/months/years you would like your wife to breastfeed for. Try to make du'a after each and every prayer, Insha'Allah your prayers will be answered by HIM. Within that 9 long months (trust me, it's not long enough), research as much as you could about breastfeeding with your wife's presence, don't expect her do the research on her own. The only reason is because researching could be long and daunting process for her to grasp it all by herself! To make it easier, try and research within these topics, what food to eat, how many litres of drink a day she should consume, when should she be feeding the baby, WHY she should breastfeed! These will make it easier once the baby arrives.
  

• Once the baby is out, you're an official Breastfeeding Dad!!! Your duty to make sure both your wife and child gets enough nourishment begins straight after the birth. By this time, your wife would be too frail and tired. The research both of you did beforehand will come in handy by now. Make sure your wife gets enough rest whilst you do the running about (get the baby/breast pump, water/drink ready by her side, and whatever in betweens).

• Give breastfeeding a try for a month or two before you think about giving up. If you can handle nicely by this time, Insha'Allah it'll only be easier from then on. Nowadays, parents give up straight after the baby is born. No doubt, I was almost one of them. I wasn't being advised much on breastfeeding by my midwife and nurses. Khairaldin had to drink formula milk on his third day and at that time I thought, that's it, I haven't got any milk! Tried pumping and there was only a few drops coming out. Little did I know, most breasts will produce milk on the third or fourth day!! So, try not to give up before one week if your wife still haven't enough milk in them.

• Here's a fact, at one day old, baby's stomach is only about a size of a marble. It's impossible for baby to drink a lot of milk for the first few days. When the baby reaches 10 days, the stomach should increase in size and by now it should be about the size of a ping-pong ball. That is why it is normal for the milk to produce later after the birth.

Mommies, normally, babies who doesn't get enough milk could suffer from jaundice. If your doctor advices you to give them formula milk, carry on, don't resist. Think of it as a medicine to make your baby well. The doctor would also need to monitor the baby's milk intake so that is why it's easier to give formula milk from bottle. In the mean time, keep pumping your breasts for milk. Since baby doesn't suckle from your breast, it will only make the milk production slower. By pumping your breasts you are sending signals to the brain that "baby" needs milk therefore produce. In no time, Insha'Allah your milk will produce normally.

All the best newly Dads and Moms!!! Let's make this journey an interesting one for your little new family. :)

Trembling.....

Somethings are better left unsaid. I'm not going to elaborate but today I made the worst parenting mistake anyone could ever imagine! I'm not very happy with myself but hey, let's move on and learn from it.

Khairaldin, Mommy and Abah love you muchoooo! Sorry for what happened to you tonight. I hope you'll never have a memory of what happened tonight. Just know that we love you and that we're normal human being that tend to make mistakes!!

Love you always, Khairaldin! Mwah!!
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Second day of Ramadhan 1431

Alhamdulillah, we are now in our third day of Ramadhan, Insha'Allah. A few minutes to go before Iftar(break fast). Anyway, second day was rather painful! Khairaldin and I was both down with diarrohea in the morning. I was still determined to fast, regardless. At about 6pm I had a really bad tummy ache, gastric like. I guess all the food I had during Sehri has been emptied. I kept telling myself it was only couple of hours to go so let's try and ignore it. Put some ointment to let the air out and Alhamdulillah within minutes I was OK.

It was hard but both of us managed it. I guess that happened because Khairaldin was also demanding for more milk since he emptied all of it in the morning, twice! Gah! But Alhamdulillah, I am still grateful that I managed to finish it up with everyone else. I dread having to make it up again when everyone else doesn't have to.

Third day, today, is also OK. Weather has been pretty cool so it could be a plus point during day time. But after 7pm we feel like it's already time for Iftar when actually we still have approx 2 hours left!! So that's why I'm on here rambling about. :)

Insha'Allah tomorrow I am planning to get on with some rather serious entries. I have a few lined up and I can't delay it any longer. Gotta get it out of my chest and share it with all of you. That's a huge Insha'Allah though as Iskandar works on weekend so I have the baby all to myself.

That's it from me for now. To all my UK readers, have a great Iftar and May Allah accept all your deeds today and beyond. As for my Malaysian readers, happy Sehri! May Allah give you the strength to do loads of good deeds today. Amin. As for the rest of the world, Ramadhan Mubarak wherever you are. :)
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First day of Ramadhan 1431

Time is like a river,
You can never touch the same water in a flowing river twice,
The flow that has passed will never pass again,
Therefore make the best of the time that Allah has given us during this Blessed month, Insha'Allah
(Mom received this forwarded SMS and I think it's a real good one)

Alhamdulillah!! First day of Ramadhan went smooth sailing. Managed to do tadarus Al-Quran with Mom, Dad, Hubby and Nephew in spite of Khairaldin roaming around the room and bumping into things to distract all of us. But Alhamdulillah, he's such an understanding baby.

I planned to do as much good deeds this Ramadhan as I feel it's a waste not to take this opportunity given to us once a year. There are many ways one can choose to change and maximise oneself. First and foremost, try not to go beyond what our Imaan could handle. For example, if we hardly sit down and read the Quran regularly, try not to go to an extreme of wanting to khatam this Ramadhan. Not that you can't, but if you have family to care for, they will also need your attention, yes? So it could be rather stressful trying to entertain the family and at the same time trying to read the Quran. If you can, by all means go ahead. I for one read really slowly so it could take longer than a month for me to khatam.

So, here are a few things I would like to share with all of you that I have chosen to do this Ramadhan, Insha'Allah. May it be beneficial to everyone of you too, Insha'Allah.

1) To read the Al-Quran starting with the short surah
2) Read du'as in everything I do
3) Abstain from Facebook as much as I can

• "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say [something] good, or he should keep silent." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah](will write an entry on this, Insha'Allah)

4) Eat sahur
5) Pray terawikh, at least 8 + 3 witir daily
6) Pray tahajud & hajat after Sahur
7) Eat reasonably during break fast
8) Try very very hard not to gossip

• "O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." Qur'an, [49:12]

9) Spend as much time with beloved family
10) Enjoy Ramadhan as much as I can

Insha'Allah, Ramadhan is just a starting point for me. If I am able to do all this during the month of Ramadhan, Insha'Allah it's possible to carry on even after that.

So, how was your Ramadhan? Do share on what you have planned this Ramadhan as Insha'Allah it would be beneficial for every one of us too. May we gain knowledge everyday of our life. Insha'Allah.

Ramadhan Mubarak.

Ramadhan Kareem! Insha'Allah.

Ramadhan Mubarak my dear brothers and sisters in Islam!! ALHAMDULILLAH, I am thankful that Allah has given me another chance to experience Ramadhan. Last year was easier for me as Khairaldin was only 3 months old so most of the time he only sleeps, sleeps and sleeps. I'm sure it'll be harder this year as he's more aware and active. So, I will try and take the opportunity to do more whilst he is sleeping. Please remember me in you du'as. Insha'Allah I will do the same for all of you out there. :)

My only advise to myself and all, please do not only fast and miss out on prayers. There is no point of fasting if we still do not pray as the whole point of fasting is to get closer to our Creator, Allah subhanahu wa taala. It saddens me everytime I see those who doesn't pray as I think "what will happen to us when we leave this world??!" But Alhamdulillah, Allah swt have given us this chance to start over and Insha'Allah be a better Ummah. Let us all not waste time and take this opportunity to do more!! If not this Ramadhan, when else? Are we sure we will witness another Ramadhan? Let's assume this will be the last Ramadhan for us all. Ramadhan Kareem!!!!!

On a slightly different note, I received a note from my niece yesterday about fasting. It's just too cute what she wrote that I have to share it on here. After all, she said not to lose the note and I guess this is the best way to keep it, yes? :D

"Hi Aunti Iva. Thank you for the note. I hope you will handle fast. I'm sure you will. By the way, I really love that note. I hope you keep this note. Anyway are you sure you can handle it bress feeding a baby? I hope you do :) Anyway back to fasting. I can't wait until tomorrow because we are all fasting. Love from Ainur <3 lots of love :) XXX"

**I find it amusing how she actually asked me about if I can handle breastfeeding and fasting. I'm glad she's aware of this at such a young age :)

Sleep time is me time!!

It's Khairaldin's afternoon nap time now. It's been a while since he looked for me whenever he wants to sleep. When he was a baby, he'd only fall asleep with me whilst breastfeeding. But now, to him, I am his play and fun time "friend". He refuses to go to sleep with me.

:'( I miss being his only one!!

I'm glad he's so much closer to Iskandar now though. He'd watch Sesame Street or Football clips with Iskandar, then he'll fall asleep after about 5 clips. Even though they didn't have a father-son bonding before, I'm glad that they have finally found something they can enjoy together.

Sleeping on Abah's chest is much comfier than Mommy's now eh boy? Whatever it is, we will always pray that you'll be this dependent regardless of your age. We will try our best to be there for you like how Nana and DaddyTok has helped us through, until today. We'll be here for you love. As for now, sleep tight! :* mwahhhh!
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Part 2: Ramadhan and breastfeeding (or pregnant) Mommies

Alright, since we now know that different scholars and circumstances have different views about fasting while breastfeeding (or pregnant), let's continue reading if you have made your choice to fast this year regardless of your situation.

Here are my personal reasons as to why I chose to fast last Ramadhan even though it was a long day (16 hours) and also the fact I was a newly nursing Mommy:

1) I think Ramadhan is such a spiritual and blessed month that everything is just possible to be achieved in that month.
2) I definitely won't be able to pay back my 29/30 days within a year because I was planning to breastfeed Khairaldin till he's 2 years old.
3) Since Iskandar is working part time and I am not working, it'll be a struggle for us to pay Fidyah as we have enough income just for the family.
4) I was only nursing one baby, so I was convinced it's doable.
5) If I don't fast, I would then have to get my meal ready all by myself and at the same time take care of a 3 months old baby, that's tough!

Seeing my pros outweighs my cons, I then decided to fast! Here are the tips that got me through fasting the whole month (except for 7 days period):

Mental preparation.
I live my life with this quote from a Hadith: "Acts are valued in accodance with their undelying intention" (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim). Basically, this means that whatever your intention is, Insha'Allah you will be able to do the things you have intended to do. Furthermore, believing in it is the key to success!

1) I kept reminding myself my intention (Niat) on wanting to fast. Which was to be closer to Him and to grab as much reward (pahala) as possible in the Holy month.
2) I believed that Allah would not put burden on me if I could not bear it. As mentioned in Surah Baqarah verse 286: "Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. In his favour shall be whatever good each one does, and against him whatever evil does." In the Surah there is also a prayer "Our Lord! Take us not to task if we forget or commit mistakes. Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden such as You laid on those gone before us. Our Lord! Lay not on us burdens which we do not have the power to bear. And overlook our faults, and forgive us, and have mercy upon us. You are our Guardian; so grant us victory against the unbelieving folk." Amin. It's best to read this after each prayer. Insha'Allah, He will help us through it all.
3)Believe, believe and keep beleiving that He is there to help us. Ask for guidance from Him as that is the only ONE that would undestand us and really, that could help us!

Physical preparation
Of course we can't only leave it in God's hand (tawakkal) to let everything fall into place. That is just unfair. We also have to find a way (ikthiar) to get through the day. So, what did I do?

1) During Sahur, I made sure that I snack on lots and lots of dates (kurma) as it gives lot of energy which will be needed during the day.
2) Drank lots and lots of water! I try to have at least 1 litre during Sahur and 1litre during break fast and keep drinking in between break fast and Sahur.
3) I'm not a rice (or anything heavy) person for Sahur, I just can't consume rice at such early hours. So, I choose to eat cereals instead. Be it Weetabix, Quaker Oats, Nestum etc etc.
4) Make sure you don't over eat to "stock up" for the baby as this in turn will only make you feel lethargic.

Spiritual preparation
To be honest, I wanted to do Tadarus Al-Quran with my family but that was highly impossible because Khairaldin's routine was still haywire.
1) Do not miss any prayers!! Prayers are like your "food" during Ramadhan. If you don't pray, there's no point making yourself hungry.

These are the only steps I took during last Ramadhan and also during this year's puasa ganti. There will be a change with the baby's drinking routine, no doubt. Like Khairaldin, before fasting month he drank every 4 hourly but during fasting month, he drank 3 hourly. However, since now he's on solids, he only drinks about 3 times a day. Insha'Allah it'll be easier for me this year than last.

Having said all that, every baby and Mommy is different!! Khairaldin might not be a fussy eater so he might be easier to please. Give it a try for a few days and see how your baby's routine change. If you can't handle it, try to at least fast every other day so that the baby have a break as well. But Insha'Allah, the milk production will not stop even when you are fasting. Allah is fair! There's a reason why he wants us to fast. Since I am a SAHM, it's also easier for me to attend to Khairaldin whenever he wants his milk. It's definitely tougher for working Moms as I know EBM can be tiring mentally and physically. But hey, if your intention is good then INSHA'ALLAH! :)

That's it from me for now. Do not hesitate to ask correct me or ask me questions if I have not covered your query. If any Mommies have any other tips that have helped them through Ramadhan, again, please do share with us!

All the best Mommies!! Hope you will all have a blessed and easy Ramadhan even with the Li'l One, ameen!

Part 1: Ramadhan and breastfeeding (or pregnant) Mommies

This is a continuation of Part 1 but it is not Part 2. As I've set my mind what Part 2 is going to be about, so I can't change it. ;)

Anyway, as I've mentioned in Part 1, there are Surah and Hadith that explained why breastfeeding Mommies are allowed to not fast if they are breastfeeding. Of course this has to include a few details why they are allowed not to fast. For instance in Adriana case, she was pregnant with her first child, then breastfeeding, then pregnant with second child, post-partum after that and again this year breastfeeding. She's also referred her situation with an Ustaz to know where she stands. That's why I said it is best to ask an Ustaz or qualified scholars, as I have no stand at all to say what you are supposed to be doing. I can give some proof from the Quran but my interpretation may not be right as I am not of an Islamic scholar. So, to know whether your circumstances do apply in the 'list' of people who are allowed to skip Ramadhan please do ask an Islamic scholar.

In my previous entry, I did say that it is ok to just pay Fidyah. But..... My personal opinion doesn't apply when talking about the deen. There's so much more than what meets the eye. Hence, we need qualified scholars to teach and explain to us what so and so means. After all, in my house, we only just refer to the Quran and Hadith Bukhari (most of the time). If it's way too complicated then my Dad will refer to his 'Tuan Guru'. There are many more books of Hadith and each and every one of it has a different explanation about anything on Islam.

In Islam, there can be many interpretation about a single issue. This is only because Allah not only ground us to one rule, He wants us to have an easier life and not burden ourselves. So, it's best to read and find out further what suits our own situation. Insha'Allah, He will guide us through.

My cousin messaged me to say that certain Fatwa explains Ramadhan and breastfeeding/pregnant etc in so many ways. He's also given me a website to refer to which I think is best for you Mommies to read and grasp more knowledge on this (btw, it's in Malay language).

Here's a link which is in English Language for our own knowledge, Insha'Allah.

Fasting and breastfeeding/pregnant

Part 1: Ramadhan and breastfeeding (or pregnant) Mommies

Adriana's request: Babe, special request! Can u do a writeup on ur blog about breastfeeding & fasting this Ramadhan? Hukum-hakam, related surah & Hadith? So many view, kinda confusing..

FYI, this will be my first time fasting in 3yrs. Been paying fidyah for 3yrs coz preg, BF, & post-preg. Will u be fasting?

The greatest thing about being a Muslim is, you always have someone to turn to when you need light and guidance when planning to better your personal life. If it's not from your family and friends, it comes from noone else but your creator, Allah SWT. Insha'Allah.

When I was choosing on whether or not to fast last Ramadhan (due to breastfeeding), I had to look for the Islamic facts with Iskandar because we didn't have anyone to turn to. So, what did we do as our research? We turned to the Quran and Hadith, the book of every single thing one needs to know in life. Before I begin explaining my intentions of choosing what I chose, let me just remind you Mommies that our research was solely done by ourselves. It was through our own readings and understandings, that was it. We didn't consult any scholars regarding it so please do double or triple check before you want to decide on how to get through Ramadhan whilst pregnant and/or breastfeeding. I am only here to share my personal experience and how I got through the month.

Firstly, from the Quran it states:

"Believers! Fasting is enjoined upon you, as it was enjoined upon those before you, that you become God-fearing." Surah Al-Baqarah verse 183

"Fasting is for a fixed number of days, and if one of you be sick, or if one of you be on a journey, you will fast the same number of other days later on. For those who are capable of fasting (but still do not fast) there is a redemption: feeding a needy man for each day missed. Whoever voluntarily does more good than is required will find it better for him, and that you should fast is better for you, if you only know." Surah Al-Baqarah verse 184

In the second Surah, what it means is that one may choose to pay Fidyah if they are able to fast but chose not to fast instead. The fidyah is to feed a poor person for each day of fasting missed. The scholars have said it is sufficient to provide a single poor person with two meals for every day missed, or to feed lots of people a meal on a single day. (However, I'm not too sure of the amount so please do check with your local Masjid/Ustaz)

Having said that, the particular Surah Al-Baqarah verse 184 was abrogated (treated as nonexistent)!! due to another Verse being revealed later which is Surah Al-Baqarah verse 185.

How is it possible to abrogate a Verse?

Like most injunctions of Islam those relating to fasting were revealed gradually. In the beginning the Prophet Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam had instructed the Muslims to fast three days in every month, though this was not obligatory. When in the injunction in the present verse was later revealed in 2A.H, a degree of relaxation was introduced: it was stipulated that those who did not fast despite their capacity to endure fasting were obliged to feed one poor person as an expiation for each day of obligatory fasting missed.

"During th month of Ramadhan the Quran was sent down as guidance to the people with Clear Signs of the true guidance as the Criterion (between right and wrong). So those of you who live to see that month should fast the same number of other days instead (paying back later on). Allah wants ease and not hardship for you so that you may complete the number of days required, magnify Allah for what He has guided to, and give thanks to Him." Surah Al-Baqarah verse 185

The abrogated Surah was also futher mentioned in Sahih Al-Bukhari, book of Saum (fast): Narrated Nafi: Ibn Umar (ra) recited the Verse: "They had a choice either to observe Saum (fast 0r to feed a poor person for every day, and said that the order of this Verse was cancelled.

The Verse is interpreted in two ways by different scholars. Ibn Umar's verdict was: "Those who are able to observe Saum (fast) but do not wish to fast should give Fidya". However, Ibn Abbas thinks that "Those who are able to observe fast only with great difficulty like very old people or a woman who has to nurse her newly born child, etc are permitted not to observe fast and give the Fidya in recompensation".

**Edited
Because we researched on our own (no Ulama's or Scholar's Point of View), I decided to still fast to be on the safest side even though I was breastfeeding Khairaldin at that time.

This is how I perceived it........... to be continued in my next post. Insha'Allah.

If there is any of you reading this have more knowledge about Ramadhan and Breastfeeding, please do not hesitate to share your views in the comment box. Really appreciate if you could share your views with us. :) JazakAllah Khair (May Allah Grant you Goodness).

Why I love Ramadhan even if it means having to fast for 17 hours!

Ramadhan has always been a special and most awaited month of the year for my family and I. It's that time of year we all look forward to each and every year. Alhamdulillah, I've now managed to witness approximately 25 months of Ramadhan and experienced fasting approximately 18 of them. I'm not sure what or why, but Ramadhan just seem rather peaceful, surreal and magical time of the year. Somehow it's the only time that I could fight my eyes from sleeping just to pray after Sahur to ask Allah for anything and everything. I guess it's easier to do good things on this month because as narrated by Abu Hurairah, Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam said "When the month of Ramadhan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained." (Sahih Bukhari, hadith no:1899)

To top it all up, Khairaldin was conceived on Ramadhan 1429. We have been trying for a baby for a few months before that but had no rezeki then. Even during Ramadhan, we were still trying and made extra efforts to pray and ask Allah to shower us with a child. Alhamdulillah, during Eid celebration I already had a feeling that I was pregnant and managed to confirm about a week later. So, what is there to not like about Ramadhan? It's been such surreal experience for me ever since I started to learn about this month.

Ramadhan 1430 was another magical experience for me. I was blessed with a child few months before Ramadhan. Khairaldin was 3 months old during Ramadhan and was actively breastfeeding and very dependant on me. Even though Ramadhan has been something I look forward to, somehow last year I was scared and not too keen of it. Of course like other Mommies, my main concern was what nutritions will my baby get if I were to fast? We are constantly being told to have proper meals when breastfeeding or else the baby won't get enough nutritions etc. So, I did my research on whether to fast when breastfeeding.

Bearing in mind, last year's Ramadhan was during Summer season, so that's a total of approximately 16 hours of fasting (Shurook 4am and Maghrib 8pm). A month before Ramadhan I was already thinking how do I breastfeed + fast for 16 hours, how will I manage or even what will Khairaldin be filled up with as there won't be enough milk if I don't eat for that long?! So I started saving my expressed milk for Ramadhan just in case he gets hungry when I'm fasting.

But, due to him being very fussy and not wanting any other nipples, I still contemplated on whether I should fast or not. I continued researching and found a few people who say "it's okay to just pay Fidyah (feeding a poor person) and not fast throughout Ramadhan." And another who says "every Muslim has to fast regardless of their circumstances."

So, how do you decide between this two? Insha'Allah, I will interpret further on this in my next entry (hopefully will publish tomorrow).

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Pregnancy and weight gain. Issues issues!

Weight...... It is ALWAYS an issue for us, ladies. Right? When we are too thin people will comment and when we are "fat" they will still comment. What is perfect weight? One thing for sure, it is not up to oneself to say that they've already got a perfect weight (or even figure). Peer pressure always gets the best of us no matter how satisfied we are with our body.

So, when we ladies announce about our pregnancy to everyone, people will start advising us to eat, eat and eat. It's like, "put as much weight on as you can because this is the ONLY time you can do so". Of course during the 9 months pregnancy we don't care about putting on weight as it is the only time people will say we look good no matter how big we have become! It is also hard to differentiate the baby's weight and Mom's weight, so noone will notice how huge you really are. We all then take for granted to put on as much weight as possible since after all, the bigger your bump is, the sexier you look! No doubt.

But..... As soon as you've given birth, literally a few weeks after, these people would also be the one saying how much weight you've put on ever since they've known you! They EXPECT you to lose weight as soon as the baby is out! Don't you think that is unfair? Mommies then become too pressured about losing the weight and tend to concentrate on their weight more than the baby's. They start to eat less than what they normally would just to lose the fats!

If you're a pregnant lady my advice is, eat reasonably. Do not listen to people who advice you to eat more than what you can handle. Eating for two is nothing but a myth!! Yes you do need to eat for two but definitely not twice the portion you'd normally eat. It's only a few calories more and that sometimes could only mean eating an extra 1 slice of bread! Know what you are eating whilst being pregnant because once the weight is on, you'll find it depressing having it on for a long long time.

Alhamdulillah, I only put on about 15kgs throughout my pregnancy. I ate as normal and within the limit. As soon as Khairaldin was born I managed to lose about 8kgs, since those were the baby's weight and water etc etc. I didn't rush to lose the weight because I was breastfeeding and my baby's weight was more important than mine. After a year, I then bothered about my weight because I was planning for the age gap between my next child to be 2 years. Howere, since Khairaldin is still 'actively' breastfeeding, I had to rethink my plan and again taking it slow with the weight loss. Whatever it is, my plan is to try and lose weight before I try for a second baby. Like I've said before, gym is the place to get me active and not to lose weight.

Celebrities (or even the media!) are not helping by showing the wrong examples of post-pregnancy body because they show as if after being pregnant, all the weight is gone...instantly. Any normal people will know that it is not that easy and quick. Truth be told, they are either using some sort of 'girdle' or even liposuction straight after. So yes, the weight will stay on for a while, it is NORMAL! It is not normal to lose it all at once. After all, you've put the weight on within a 9 months period so it is only fair to let your body lose it gradually.

If you are a formula milk Mommy, then you can go ahead and lose weight. However, do not put pressure on Breastfeeding Mommies to lose all the weight soonest because they have to eat healthily for the baby too.

As for breastfeeding Mommies, concentrate on your child's weight gain before your weight loss. It is okay to have extra fats as you need those fats to turn into energy anyways.

After all that, whatever weight we put on or off it's for our husband to determine whether it's healthy or not. Looks is a totally different matter, at least for the first year of baby's birth. Ignore others' comments as they are only wanting to add pressure on the already pressured post-partum Mommies (or even Dads!). Love your body for giving you the chance to let you do things you want to do. Be thankful that your body managed to carry your weight and your child's. Alhamdulillah. As a return of favour to our body for helping us through the pregnancy, do not opt for CRASH diet, as the name itself tells you that you are crashing your body.

Have a joyous pregnancy and Motherhood. It'll only get better in time, keep believing in that. Insha'Allah.
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Smacking a child for disciplining?

When it comes to 'parenting styles', every Mommies feel as if they know everything about being a parent and that their style is the right style. I am guilty of that too! Even with only one child I feel as if I "know" how to raise all children that comes my way. That's the problem with us, we sometimes forget that every individual is different therefore we get a lot of different parenting styles out there. So really, there is no right or wrong way when bringing up a child. One mother can choose to either let their baby play in the garden without any mat whilst the other is protective and against letting their baby to even touch the grass. Given this situation, both mothers would cringe at one another for doing such a thing. Who's there to tell them that they are doing it wrong? Noone. Bringing up a child should be something both mother and father are comfortable with. One cannot force the other to follow suit just because she's doing it that way.

Disciplining your child is your responsibility, parents. Both parents have a say on how to raise their child. Mothers have an exceptionally more 'power' to say or do what's best for their child because they are built to be physically and emotionally understanding towards their child's wants and needs. For example, when a baby is just born, they are very dependant on their mother. When the baby cries, the mother would instantly carry them and either feed, change diaper or even just cuddle the baby. Mothers spend more time with the child to know the needs of their child.

So, when it comes to disciplining the child it is obvious that mothers have more influence in moulding them into a good ummah. Being a mother holds a lot of responsibility. Mothers would normally have to neglect themselves first in order to make sure the child is in good mood.... for the whole day! It is not an easy job. In my case, more often than not, I will be awaken by the smell of Khairaldin's poop every morning. Going to the toilet to wash him up first before myself, is a normal daily routine for me. Of course since he's poop-ed he would then need to be filled up. Getting the chance to brush my teeth first thing in the morning is highly impossible nowadays. When mothers have to neglect so many things in their life, it is normal to sometimes feel frustrated and just snap at the silliest things. Even though I make it sound as if Mothers are of a different species with super powers, we really are still normal human beings. So we might react to certain things before thinking twice. For instance, we might get fed up of telling a child for the third time to stop doing the same mistakes and might just resort to 'beating/smacking' the child whilst at the same time repeating ourselves for the fourth time! It's just a spontaneous reaction on us human being. We think we are so perfect that everything has to fall into place there and then. But that's wrong.

Beating or smackinga child to discipline them is definitely out of the contacts of disciplining. That would be one 'style' that I would not recommend parents to do if I ever come across parents who does it. I am not talking about a smack in the hand. This is more of a full swing or even a slap. How would a child understand that being smacked means they have to behave? The child for one is hurting and would definitely not listen anymore after being hit. They would be too focused on the pain to actually listen any further. So, if you feel the need to hit the child for the same mistake, stop and think again! The first hit they supposedly deserved didn't make an impact, so why go for another next time? The best way is to reason out with the child why they should not be doing such a thing, it is also better if we could start from young to include any Islamic values into it. For example, if the child does not tidy up after playing, explain to them that Allah loves Muslim to be a clean and tidy person. Teaching and constantly reminding them about Allah will make them grow up loving the religion even more and also into a successful being, Insha'Allah. No doubt some children can comprehend straight away but some are just there to test our patience. There's a reason why Allah said that "patience is half of Imaan" and of course the other half is gratitude when things do fall into place. So, good things really do come to those who wait. Keep trying to reason out with children even before trying to lift your hand to smack them. Insha'Allah this will only make them a good person.

To be continued......... Insha'Allah.

Pictures courtesy of google.

Pride and joy in life!

This is such a great reminder for all of us!

"O you who believe! Let not your riches or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. If any act thus, the loss is their own." [Surah Al-Munafiqun, verse 8]

I was just trying to minimise my status update about Khairaldin a few days ago, and the above ayat came up on one of the groups that I liked on Facebook. If you follow me on Facebook you'll see how my status would always always include Khairaldin's name. No doubt being a parent is such a joy in life! But sometimes, we take it for granted. I remember when after my confinement, I was really contemplating how to juggle being a Wife, Mom and Allah's servant all at the same time??! It's so impossible, so I thought. Alhamdulillah, eventually I've learnt how to actually satisfy our Creator and also my beloved family. I believe that if Allah comes first in our life, everything after that will come easily and naturally. I believe so because whenever I delay my prayers, I always feel as if there's something incomplete. As much as I want things to get done quicker, it gets even tougher. But once my prayers and duty to Allah has been managed, I feel everything is beyond my reach.

Yes, we as parents we do want great things for our kids in this life. We are proud to see their achievement in this life, no doubt! So we start to run errands for them, sending them to the best school or academic etc etc. Those are what make life hectic! The wants and needs for Dunya. It is good to want the best for our child, that's for sure. However, wouldn't it be such a waste of time, energy and effort when we've done all that but hereafter they are left with nothing at all? How are they going to 'face' the creator by saying that they've achieved so much in the 'life before' that can be counted as such good deeds for the 'life after'?

My parents have taught me a lot. They're not the kind that would send us to such superb tuition etc. But one thing for sure, they actually had a personal Ustaz for us so that we learn how to at least be a good Ummah, Insha'Allah. Before I had Khairaldin I always thought, "what a life I've got! Everyone is so rich and famous and I'm nowhere near." Alhamdulillah. Now I can see why my parents bring us up in such moderate life. We didn't get the chance to do our own shopping until we earned our own money. I can see that my parents have invested an awful LOT to bring us up to be a great Ummah. Now I know that they didn't bring us shopping because they used the money to get us private Ustaz to teach us the Quran. Alhamdulillah!!!! That means so much more to me now. At least I still remember the Ustaz that made me Khatam the Al-Quran. If those money were used for shopping instead, I bet I wouldn't even remember what I have bought with all that money!!

As much as I'm proud (I'll try and use this word loosely now) of my child(ren), I know there's only one thing that will make them appreciate us more, bringing them up as a great Ummah! I wouldn't want them to turn around and say, "Mom, why didn't you ever teach me about my religion??" Nauzubillahiminzalik. Having read that Ayat, it made me realise that Allah knew that we parents are going to turn up to be very boastful about our child and might forget him, so he's wrote this reminder down in the Holy book and I think it's best for us to share with all. Insha'Allah.
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Confessions of a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM)

Getting the chance to be a SAHM is definitely the greatest gift in life. I have always been thankful for the chance given to me to see my li'l man grow. I'm not trying to be in-your-face-you-have-to-work and I don't kinda person! Every opportunity given to each one of us is definitely precious and meaningful.

At times, I do feel as if I'm missing something in this life. Like, something is still incomplete.

Khairaldin has only just turned one a few weeks ago. He's trying new things especially walking/stepping. I know some Mommies who might miss out on their child's development because they have no choice but to work (be it for financial stuff or contracts). To say I don't miss working is definitely not true. I have been working since I was 21 years old. I've met a few people along the way. Yes, I hate waking up in the morning and having to follow schedules that's why I chose to stay home until today. But sometimes, I feel that my mind is under stimulated. I don't have to do that much thinking because what's there to do? Changing diaper and breastfeeding Khairaldin is something I can do with my eyes half open! Literally. LOL! Having a job will make you think on your feet and you have to use up your brain neurons. It's fun, till certain extent!

Just like SAHM, there are certain things that are really interesting. Heck, everytime he's awake, we are always on a lookout. That's very interesting. But when he naps, that's utter boredom. I know he's only 1 and there's more to come. I guess when he is in the phase of wanting to talk, read etc, I'd find being a SAHM even more exciting. Because at that time, they tend to nap less. So more time to spend until it's proper bedtime.

I've decided that I wanna do something different with my life. I don't want a 9-5am job but at the same time I don't want a part-time 'cashier' sorta job that students in Uni would take up for their pocket money. I don't mind being a volunteer as long as I can go out and take a breather. I've always wanted to be in the community more. Like, Islamic parenting community. I know what I want but I make one too many excuses to just not budge!

Khairaldin is really good with routines. He wakes up and go to sleep on schedule. It's when he's in bed that my mind start to wander, what else can I do?

I've listed down things I wanted to do before I conceived Khairaldin but now it's not relevant. I don't have the same passion as I had before. There are new things in his and my life that I want to achieve. I am 25 years old and I think there's so much more to life than this. I'm not going after big ££££££ here, no. All I want is more knowledge so I can bring him up to be a better person and Ummah.

I am the type that would let my baby free and explore this world on his own but, when it comes to religion, I think that both Iskandar and I have to guide him through. I don't mind if his not an A++++ student as long as he enjoys this life his living. But fun stuff could lead to sin and that's why I want to teach him more about religion than actually teaching him 1+1=2. To be honest, my knowledge about Islam is so limited that I am not sure how to answer if he comes to me and ask questions. My Mom is the best when reasoning things out within Islamic laws, but who knows how long she'll be around to help me with educating my child? It's time for me to step up and out to gain more knowledge about Islam! I don't need expensive stuff to get through this life, all I need is to know that I'll be leaving behind an alim child(ren). Insha'Allah.

Suffice to say, I still wanna be a SAHM because I want to teach my child(ren) how perfect this religion actually is. And I know, before trying to teach, I myself have to know the beauty of this religion. Insha'Allah. I pray that Allah will give me the chance to learn and teach even if it's only to my child(ren). Ameen!!!
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Raja Khalid Khairaldin's first birthday party!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY OUR DEAREST LOVE, KHALID KHAIRALDIN!
Love, hugs and kisses always and forever, Abah & Mommy

*click on pictureSSSSS to enlarge*

So, as you'd already know by now, it's Khairaldin's birthday on the 16th of June. We had a mini celebration with the family on his 'actual' birthday. I made Soto and just bought an off the shelf cake. Since his birthday was on a weekday, we had to rush the celebration as my nephew and niece had school the next day. We settled down by 9p.m. Small and simple. He loved it! (You could tell from the video that I'll upload soonest, Insha'Allah). When we sang the birthday song to him, he actually hummed as if he's singing it too! He was so happy and smiley the whole time. I know he doesn't understand a thing but somehow he knows the spotlight was on him. He was also being demanding all day! It was after all his day, so we, sorry I, gave in to him endlessly. :)
At first I planned to have his BBQ party on the 20th of June since it's a weekend. But my parents had some events to attend to so I changed it to the week after-27th June. My plan was to only invite the family and my cousin from Manchester. But my dad insisted to invite the neighbours as they are Muslims and since it's BBQ, it'll be rude not to. So we did. The number of people was still within our budget because my cousins + family had to cancel at the very last minute.
I had a rather ambitious plan on wanting to bake his cake! You see, the only cake I know how to bake is Moist Chocolate Cake. I got the recipe from my senior. Thanks Kak Nad! So on Saturday, I went to my brother's place to use his oven. Our oven is a bit weird so I opted to use theirs as I don't want to ruin the cake (at least that's my excuse). When I arrived their place, they were out. Confidently I set the oven to its setting. All done, mixture sorted. Started baking. I had the Number 1 cake idea for quite a while. It just looks so easy to do. Well, for someone who bakes once in a blue moon, everything seems haywire and difficult!!!! :|
I needed 3 rectangle shaped cake tin since that's how the number will be designed. Instead of using one cake mixture and separate them into 3, I did one cake mixture into one cake tin!!! Obviously when it raised, it overflowed because rectangle cake tins are just too small in height and depth! Also the mixture measurement was for normal round cake tin. So like it or not, I had to throw that to waste. I made another mixture and this time separated them into 3 containers. Alhamdulillah it raised perfectly. Now, by this time my bro + SIL arrived home. Little did I know, the setting for the oven was wrong!!!! I set it to GRILL setting instead of oven. Hence the cake being baked just the top and bottom not the inside. Setting changed. All ok. Let it set. Alhamdulillah, all in all it was perfect. Except the top and bottom bit became cookie like rather than cake! My li'l brother loved it though. He had 3 huge slices! Most of it was only just being served to him. Don't know whether he's just being nice or what. LOL!
My sister in law also baked some cupcakes. I wanted Elmo cuppies because that's the only cartoon character that Khairaldin knows and is really fond of. And surprise surprise, when the cupcakes were being served, he actually sang the Elmo song!!!!! We were too shocked! So I told my sister in law that her design was definitely spot on since Khairaldin knew what is was straight out of the box!!! For a 1 year old, he's really clever, Masha'Allah. :) I'd recommend my SIL's cuppies if you're living in the UK. Not being biased, but it's goood! And, she's wayy creative! :)
Alhamdulillah, all the food was enough and there was not much wastage throughout. Everyone finished their portions and leftovers were packed for my brothers and neighbours. Alhamdulillah all went well. The preparation was no doubt hectic! I had to run from one place to another to buy stuff. Iskandar was down with UTI, so had to rush him to the hospital at 3am on Wednesday. From then on I had to run errands on my own but thank god for having my Mom to also tag along on few occasions. :) We ladies, managed to do it ourselves.
Well, the highlight of the event was the bouncy castle! Since Summer is only for 1 week in the UK we thought we might as well make full use of it :D. We rented a bouncy castle and on that particular day we held the party, the castle was on Summer Sale! So, we really saved a LOT! It was great! Everyone's inner child was brought out on the day and as for Khairaldin, he didn't like it much. However, when we lay him down in the castle, he could easily doze off. He's never trained to be rocked to sleep, so that was new for him and he liked it. So, eventually he enjoyed it as much as we did. But really, the bouncy castle was more for us than him. It'd be so boring if we didn't have the bouncy castle.

All in, we had major fun!!! But doing it again is definitely out of the question (at least for now). Probably would just hire the bouncy castle for fun. Hahaha That would be so much fun!

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